6. Theo

The crack of a bat, the roar of the crowd, and the pungent green smell of freshly mown grass mingling with the slightly smoky scent of grilled hot dogs—those memories flooded my brain as I drove to Rafe"s apartment. Blue Harbor High had a home baseball game, and Tyler invited me to show up and cheer on the team.

I couldn"t avoid thinking about Dawson and the many days I climbed the bleachers after school to cheer him on, but it was now a different time. I had Rafe by my side and couldn"t wait to create new memories with him.

When I pulled up to the curb in front of the Little Blue Bean, excitement bubbled up inside me. I had a golden opportunity to introduce Rafe to another part of my world. Before I could get out, he came bounding down the stairs and displayed a toothy grin. When he slid into the passenger seat, he leaned over and kissed me.

"So good to see you." Rafe"s eyes sparkled. "Are you ready for an astounding display of baseball illiteracy?"

I pulled away from the curb. "Don"t worry. I"m well-versed enough to be a solid guide to the ins and outs of the game."

We chatted comfortably on our way to the Blue Harbor High School baseball field. Tyler had invited me to check out a home game, and I opted for Rafe"s company. Being with him would make the day significantly more exciting.

After parking the car, we walked toward the bleachers and heard the crack when a bat hit the ball. We found seats near the top of the stands, allowing us to take in all the sights and sounds. Next to me, Rafe leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, surveying the players and fans.

He turned to me. "Okay, Mr. Baseball Guru, give me the short version. How does the whole game work?"

I leaned back, resting my arm on the bleacher behind him. "You want the basics? The teams take turns batting and fielding. Batters try to hit the ball and reach base safely, scoring runs by making it all the way around. Fielders try to get them out by catching the ball or tagging the base before the runner gets there."

Rafe nodded and then furrowed his brow. "So, strikes. I"ve heard about those. What are they?"

"If you get three strikes, you"re out. A strike happens when the pitcher throws the ball through the strike zone—that"s the space over home plate between the batter"s knees and chest—and the batter can"t hit it."

"Got it. So, this is basically about evil pitchers trying to outsmart nice batters with wicked throws."

I slapped Rafe"s thigh. "Now, you"re just trying to be cute with it, but yes, it is a battle of wits between pitcher and catcher. You"ve got that right."

Rafe reached up and rubbed his face. "It all sounds a little complicated. Maybe I should watch for now and ask questions as we go."

I chuckled. "Good idea. You"ll pick up many things as the game goes on."

Rafe watched the Blue Harbor pitcher closely when the game began. He wound up and delivered his first pitch, a fastball that whizzed past the batter and landed in the catcher"s mitt with a loud thump. "Holy… he threw that fast," Rafe declared. "How can you even see the ball on its way, much less hit it?"

I remember the first time I saw Dawson pitch in a game. He amazed me. "It takes lots of practice. Remember, most of these guys have been playing since they were little kids. They need great reflexes and hand-eye coordination."

As the game continued, Rafe"s questions zeroed in on specific details. He even started to dive into baseball statistics. "So, if the batter hits a fly ball, and the runner tags up and scores, does the batter get an RBI?"

A look of disbelief appeared on my face. "Listen to you, tossing around terms like RBI and tag up. You"re a quick study."

Rafe smiled and leaned into me. "It"s easy when you have a great teacher, and I might have looked at a few baseball videos on YouTube after you invited me to come today."

His determination to understand and appreciate something that was such an integral part of my life made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. "You know, you didn"t need to do that."

Rafe took my hand. "I wanted to. I knew baseball was important to you, and I wanted to be able to share it."

When the next Blue Harbor player stepped up to bat, the opposing pitcher wound up and hurled the ball toward home plate. From where I sat, it was just a blurry streak of white.

We heard the crack of the bat, and then the ball soared out into the outfield. It fell between two of the outfielders for a surefire base hit. Rafe leaped to his feet like much of the rest of the crowd. "Go, go, go!" he shouted. "Turn that hit into a double!"

I stood beside him, my heart swelling with joy. It couldn"t get much better than watching my alma mater battle to win a baseball game with Rafe by my side.

It was a tie game, 3-3, when the game entered the bottom of the ninth inning. Blue Harbor fans scooted forward to the edges of their seats.

Rafe bounced his knee while the first batter stepped to the plate. "This is it, right? The moment of truth?"

My heart pounded in my chest. "Yep, this is the point in the game when heroes rise."

The opposing pitcher hurled the ball toward the plate, his arm a blur. It was a wicked curveball. The batter swung, but he missed, and the ball found its home in the catcher"s mitt. Strike one. The crowd groaned.

The following pitch was another curve, but it danced just outside the strike zone. The batter resisted the temptation to swing, and the umpire called it—"Ball!"

With an even one-one count, the air seemed to crackle with electricity. Rafe"s knee bounced faster. "Come on, Blue Harbor," he urged. "You"ve got this."

With an explosive throw, the pitcher unleashed a fastball. It barreled down the center of home plate with blistering speed. The batter swung, but he was a split-second too late. Strike two.

The ball smacked into the catcher"s mitt, and the batter shook his head in frustration. He stepped out of the batter"s box to gather his thoughts.

My nerves started to fray. I remembered watching Dawson pitch in tight situations. He never let the tense moments get to him. His face was a mask of calm. He always told me that no circumstance was different from any other. The pitcher just needed to buckle down and do his job.

The Blue Harbor batter stepped out of the batter"s box and took a few practice swings. When he stepped back in, the pitcher nodded, accepting the signal from his catcher. He wound up and delivered another fastball.

This time, the batter connected, and a searing line drive tore into the outfield, bouncing twice past the diving right fielder. When the center fielder fumbled the ball, the batter rounded second base.

"Go…run…damn, can"t look!" Rafe put his hands over his face as the batter dove into third base in a massive slide. He beat the throw from the outfield by about one second. The umpire pushed his arms out to the side, signaling the runner was safe, and the Blue Harbor fans raised a deafening cheer.

"He did it!" I shouted. "We"ve got the winning run in scoring position."

My heart raced as the next batter approached the plate. The pitcher reached up and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He took a deep breath before starting his windup.

The first pitch was a mean slider that broke to the outside, away from the batter, at the last second. After the batter swung and missed, the ball escaped the catcher"s grasp. It skipped off his glove, and the runner on third tagged and headed for home.

The catcher scrambled for the ball in a mad dash, and then he dove back toward home plate. At the same time, the runner slid, and they ended up in a tangle of arms and legs obscured by a cloud of dust.

The umpire crouched nearby, watching the play. It felt like the entire ballpark held its collective breath, waiting to hear the call.

"Safe!" The umpire emphatically spread his arms wide.

The Blue Harbor players streamed out of the dugout, swarming the field in a massive celebration. The crowd stood and roared their approval. It was a moment of complete joy.

Tears stung the corners of my eyes as a wave of emotions threatened to overwhelm me. Rafe wrapped me in a tight hug and continued to shout and cheer. "They did it! They won!" His eyes gleamed with happiness.

I couldn"t stop the tears any longer and buried my face in Rafe"s shoulder. Our connection was real, and it grew stronger by the minute.

Memories of Dawson were also present, adding a bittersweet taste to my mouth. Then, as I watched the Blue Harbor players celebrating, slapping each other on the back with gloves and bare hands, I knew my life could move forward. If we were willing to seize it, Rafe and I had a future.

He pulled back and cupped my face in his hands. "I"m so proud of you." He shared a quick kiss. "You"ve opened your heart and let yourself experience life again. I"m sure Dawson would be happy for you, too."

While the rest of the fans streamed out of the bleachers, Rafe and I were happy to follow at the back of the crowd. As we hit the ground, I spotted Tyler heading our way, a huge smile on his face.

He called to us. "Theo! And this must be Rafe! I"ve heard great things about you."

Rafe offered his hand to shake as he chuckled softly. Tyler brushed it aside and wrapped Rafe in a huge hug. "Oof… congratulations on the big win. Those kids played an amazing game."

Tyler beamed as he reached out and pulled me into a 3-way hug. "They"re great kids. Hey, a few members of the coaching staff are heading to Sammy"s for a beer. I"d love it if the two of you could join us. That way, I can get to know Rafe better."

I glanced at Rafe. He smiled and nodded. "We"d love that," I answered for both of us. "I"ll follow behind you in the car."

As I drove to the bar, Rafe rolled the car window partway down, and the breeze rustled through his hair. "I"d sort of forgotten that life could feel like this. What a great day."

As we stopped at a red light, I squeezed Rafe"s hand. "Days like this, with you? I could get used to it."

Entering Sammy"s, I inhaled the scents of beer and fried food wrapping around us. The bar was crowded, and a dull roar was created by a mixture of laughter, conversation, clinking glasses, and vintage 80s music from the jukebox.

Tyler spotted us in the crowd and waved us over to a table in the back. He sat with four other athletic men. I assumed those were additional members of the coaching staff.

A broad smile took over Tyler"s face as we approached. "Theo, Rafe, glad you could make it. Come and meet the guys."

I moved from one man to another, offering handshakes while Tyler introduced us. Rafe and I met the head coach, pitching coach, and two trainers.

Rafe shook hands with each of them, sporting a warm, genuine smile. "Great to meet all of you." He sat at the table beside me. "That was a hell of a game. I"m happy it ended the right way."

The head coach, Mike, sipped his beer. "I"m proud of them. They"ve worked hard all season, and it"s starting to pay off."

A server stopped by the table and took our order, a round of beer paid for by Mike. Steve, the pitching coach, asked me a question.

"Rafe, Tyler tells us that you"re new to Blue Harbor. What brings you to our neck of the woods?"

Rafe glanced at me before answering. "A fresh start. I needed it, and I"ve already had the chance to meet some amazing new people." He reached for my hand under the table and squeezed it firmly.

Mike and Tyler began sharing humorous baseball stories, and Rafe laughed. I marveled at how well he was fitting in, easily slipping into my world.

Rafe even listened intently while Steve gave us a long monologue about the finer points of pitching styles. He asked questions and nodded in the appropriate spots.

As the evening continued, Rafe excused himself to use the restroom. While he was gone, Tyler leaned in close to me.

"You hooked a great fish there, Theo." His voice was low in volume but high in enthusiasm. "I haven"t seen you this happy in a long, long time. Don"t let him go."

I took a deep breath. "Thanks, Ty. It"s hard not to miss Dawson, but Rafe is a special guy, and I"ve only just started to get to know him well."

Tyler clapped me on the shoulder. "Theo, listen. You"ve been through hell, and you deserve this happiness. Dawson would want this, and he"d be so damn proud of the way you"ve opened your heart again."

I blinked back tears that burned at the corners of my eyes. "You"re right about the happy things. At first, I wasn"t quite sure what it was because it had been so long." I pointed into the crowd. "There he is."

When he returned to the table, Rafe casually draped his arm around my shoulders. The conversation picked up again, and I enjoyed the playful banter among the coaches.

Mike"s expression turned serious at one point. "Men, I want to propose a toast." He nodded toward me. "To Dawson. He might not be with us in body anymore, but his spirit will never leave. He was one hell of a baseball player and, to me, an even better friend. To Dawson!"

"To Dawson," we all echoed as we clinked our bottles together. Rafe squeezed my shoulder in a silent show of support.

It was late when Rafe and I finally said our goodbyes. The cool night air hit my cheeks as we left the bar. Rafe reached for my hand, weaving our fingers together while walking to the car. He spoke softly. "Thank you for today. I"m happy you shared it with me. I know it means a lot to you."

I turned to face him in the soft glow of the parking lot lights. Shadows played across his face, and his handsome gaze made my heart skip a beat.

"Thank you for being willing to come," I said, reaching out to cup the back of his head in my hand. And thank you for being willing to learn about unfamiliar territory. I don"t know what I"ve done to deserve you, but consider me grateful."

Rafe took both of my hands, and his eyes shone with sincerity as he spoke. "Theo, I want to give you everything. To me, you deserve that. I"m in this with you every day, by your side."

I answered softly. "Thank you… for today and for being here… for everything."

"Theo, I—"

Before he could finish, I took a step forward and kissed him. It felt equal parts passionate and desperate. I"d been holding off all afternoon and evening and couldn"t stand the lack of contact with his lips any longer.

Rafe wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled us together until our hips touched. We molded together like someone designed our bodies to fit. He was hard, too, like me. The pressure against me was unmistakable.

Our kiss deepened, tongues tangling in an exhilarating dance. One hand roamed over his muscular back while the other raked up the back of his head into his tousled hair. Rafe placed a hand on my chest between us and rubbed the flesh left bare by the open V of my shirt.

I stumbled backward until my back hit the car door with a soft thud. Pressing hard against me, Rafe"s body was a solid wall of muscle. The heat in his kiss made my knees go weak. I gasped and then exhaled into his mouth. Gripping my hair, he tugged my head to the side, baring my neck for a series of searing kisses, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin.

"Rafe," I breathed. My voice was shot. "God, I need you."

He pulled back just enough to look into my eyes. I saw a mirror of my desire there, a powerful hunger that could devour both of us. It wasn"t only that. His vulnerability was still there, making me want to protect him from anything in the world that could harm him.

In a soft, whispery tone, he spoke. "I need you, too… maybe more than I"ve ever needed anyone, but I don"t want to rush this. I want us to do it right."

I swallowed hard, my body wanting to ignore his words, but my heart and head knew he was right. "I agree, but, so you know… being with you excites me so much. I didn"t think I could ever feel it so intense like this again.

"Then it"s like coming home." Rafe grinned. "For me, it"s somewhere new, but it"s like my life has led me toward this ultimate moment, connecting with you."

I pushed off from the car and planted another searing kiss on his lips. It was slower and more deliberate than before, more like slow-burning embers than a wildfire out of control. Rafe opened one more button of my shirt and slipped fingers inside, slowly kneading my flesh.

A soft moan caught in my throat while I pushed my hand up under the hem at the back of his shirt. He shuddered when I touched his bare skin.

When we finally broke apart, our breaths were shallow, and we had swollen lips from the intense kisses. Rafe closed his eyes for a moment, pulling himself back together.

He sighed and opened his eyes again. "We should probably say goodnight before I lose the self-control I"ve had until now."

I laughed and then shared one last gentle kiss. "I think you"re right, but can I walk you to your door when we get there?"

"I would be honored." We climbed into the car, and it was a short, quiet ride to the Little Blue Bean. Rafe kept his hand on my thigh the entire time, not wanting to lose our direct contact.

When I pulled up to the curb, I climbed out along with Rafe and walked with him to the base of the staircase leading to his apartment. He turned to face me. "What an incredible day—meeting your friends and sharing something as important to you as baseball. I"ve entered your world, and I don"t ever want to leave."

"Thanks for teaching me how to breathe again."

We stood there for several minutes and stared into each other"s eyes. Finally, Rafe lifted my right hand, kissed the palm, and pressed it against my heart. "Goodnight, Theo. Sweet dreams."

As he turned, I whispered, "Goodnight, Rafe. I"ll see you soon."

I watched as he scrambled up the steps and then disappeared inside his apartment, where a warm, soft glow from inside greeted him. My heart was so full of joy that I thought it might burst.

I settled back into the driver"s seat, punched a button, and the engine hummed to life. My thoughts were full of Rafe, how he held my hand under the table at the bar, and the heated kisses in the parking lot. Each moment was a promise of so much more to come.

I drove through the quiet streets of Blue Harbor on my way home. For so long, driving home alone after one of the baseball games meant drowning in memories of Dawson, the empty passenger seat such a painful reminder of his absence. Tonight, it was different. My chest was warm with a flicker of hope. Rafe"s presence was like a guiding light leading me out of the darkness, showing me it was possible to love again.