Nine

Jack

" Away to the cheating world go you ," the man on the stage sang out. " Where pirates all are well-to-do. But I'll be true to the song I sing, and live and die a Pirate King. "

This guy, Jack had to admit, was pretty good. He had a great voice, big and boomy, and a very snazzy outfit: tight black pants with a little red-and-black sash cinched around the waist, thigh-high shiny black boots, and a white billowy shirt open nearly to his belly button. (Centuries later, Halloween stores would sell this exact pirate costume.) It wasn't even really a captain's getup so much as it was a sexier version of the typical pirate garb, but it was getting the job done. The general noisy hubbub that was always happening inside GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS had quieted down. And now the audience was gazing raptly at Chest-Hair Guy as he sang his catchy little tune.

" I am the Pirate King! " he belted out. " And it is, it is a glorious thing to be a Pirate King! "

"Great, now I'm going to have this song stuck in me head all day," grumbled Bonn, dropping into the seat beside Jack. She made a face. "What's singing got to do with pirating? Nothing! This is a waste of time."

"Well, darling, it's entertaining," Jack said, glancing around at the pirates seated near them in the audience, who clapped their hands (and hooks) and tried to sing along. "And that makes this fellow—what's his name? Captain Penzance?—memorable. And you have to admit, he has style." He wondered fleetingly if Penzance was the man's first name or last name, and, if it was his last name, what his first name could be. Ted, perhaps? He had dark hair and eyes. Sure, this man was a pirate, and Jack's mysterious missing father was a sailor, but there wasn't such a big difference between the two professions. A man could easily start out as a sailor and end up as a pirate in the space of seventeen-odd years.

Jack leaned forward to scrutinize.

No, he decided. Even accounting for the difference in how humans aged compared to Mer, this man didn't seem old enough to be his father.

Jack didn't know whether to feel disappointed or relieved.

" For I am the Pirate KING! " Penzance sang out again, and suddenly the man's crew ran out from behind the curtains and sang, " You are! Hurrah for our Pirate King! " The room filled with their voices.

"Bah!" Bonn rolled her eyes. "How is he with a cutlass, is what I want to know. So he can sing a little. But how presumptuous is it to be already singing that he's the Pirate King?" She scoffed. "Cocky lout, isn't he? He's all flash and no bang. Your cousin, on the other hand, is the whole pirate package."

Jack smiled. That was one of the things he most loved about Bonn. She was loyal. And it warmed his heart that she'd now so clearly given her steadfast allegiance to Mary.

"Indeed," Jack said.

Bonn grinned slyly and reached into her inner coat pocket as if she had some great surprise to show him.

"What's that?" he asked. He adored surprises.

She opened her fist to reveal a handful of coins, plus a watch and a very nice set of nail clippers. "Pocket money."

"Pocket... money?" Jack was unaware that this was a category of money.

"It's twenty pieces of eight," Bonn clarified. "Plus some odds and ends I was able to scrape up."

"Where did you get it all?"

She glanced around and then returned the "pocket money" to her pocket. "Oh, you know. This pocket and that pocket."

Oh.

"Darling, I assure you, there's no need for that kind of petty thievery," Jack said. "I told you, I can get the thousand pieces of eight for us. I will handle this."

She arched an eyebrow at him skeptically. "Oh yes? How much have you gathered so far?"

He swallowed. "Uh... oh, look, he's about to get to the big finale."

They watched as Captain Penzance worked himself up to a fever pitch. All his men formed a line with their arms linked together, kicking their legs out in sync.

"I AM THE PIRATE KING!" he sang/yelled.

Then he fell to his knees at the end of the stage, his hairy chest heaving.

That was it. End of song.

"Go on with your silly self, now!" yelled Bonn. "Boo! Boo, I say!"

But the rest of the audience had surged to their feet, clapping and cheering wildly. Several painted ladies threw certain articles of clothing at Captain Penzance, which he graciously accepted. He stood and bowed deeply, motioned to the men around him, then bowed again. More wild applause. More things (like roses and undergarments) thrown at him by the ladies.

The three captains of the AARP, who were seated behind a long table at the front of the crowd, also stood, and the audience sat down again and quieted to hear what they would say.

"What a spectacle that was!" Captain Hornigold cried.

"What pizzazz!" exclaimed Captain Hook, clapping so hard he almost stabbed himself in the hand. "Wow!"

But everyone knew the tough one to win over was Captain Morgan. He was more difficult to impress, partially because he was always drunk, and therefore not paying the best of attention, and also because he was just meaner than the other two.

Captain Morgan wiped his mouth on his sleeve. Belched. And then he said:

"Yes, that was quite the performance , even though the contestants are not required to give a performance here, Penzance. All you had to do was state your name and answer a few basic questions. It was overkill, don't you think?"

Penzance, his arms full of petticoats and petunias, wilted at his words, and the energy in the audience was greatly dampened.

"Boo!" Bonn yelled again.

But then Morgan smiled. "Even so, I would hate to be the poor bloke who has to follow that !"

Penzance grinned, tipped his hat at the audience one more time, and sashayed from the stage.

"Who's next?" Bonn asked.

Jack looked down at the paper in his lap, a rudimentary program. "Oh dear," he said. "I'm afraid it's us who's next."

Mary stepped out from behind the curtain.

Jack felt a burst of pride. She had allowed him to advise her about her outfit for today, and she was therefore wearing a simple but elegant white shirt he'd been able to scrounge up, plus a gold satin waistcoat, a deep blue damask overcoat with gold buttons and gold embroidered thread on the chest and arms, brushed black breeches, white silk stockings, and gleaming buckled boots. She had pulled her tawny hair into a short tail tied with a blue silk ribbon and topped her head with a brand-new captain's hat, a red feather stuck into the brim.

She looked good .

She strode across the stage with her head held high and a kind of challenge in her eyes, which looked amazing, by the way, set off by that blue coat. She stepped lithely around the various flowers and undergarments, and then, at center stage, she stopped and turned to face the audience.

"I am Mark Read, captain of the Ranger ," she said in a loud, clear voice.

Jack's breath caught. This was a big moment. He'd been so pleased that she'd listened to him and changed her mind about becoming the Pirate King. She'd be a wonderful piratical monarch, he just knew it, and her ruling the pirates would neatly solve the problem of Bonn wanting to become one and also set them both up nicely to start earning up their thousand pieces of eight. And now that Mary was a captain, she could even be the one to officially marry him and Bonn. All good things.

But he was also, in this big moment, a little bit afraid for her.

He'd seen the tight fear in Tobias Teach's eyes when Mary had signed up for the contest, and this morning, as they'd walked to GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS together.

It was possible that this Pirate King business would be a dangerous undertaking. Jack knew the rules. No murder. That was a relief. But he hadn't forgotten that cheating, sabotaging, and general mayhem, as Bonn called it, were all still on the table. Violence is encouraged , the rules had stated.

Mary could get hurt.

He pushed the thought away. Everything would turn out all right, he told himself. It always did.

And then Hornigold was talking again.

"Thank you, Captain Read. I don't suppose you, too, have some musical number prepared to present to us? A secret talent? A magic show?"

Now, that would have been a good idea, Jack thought. He loved magic shows.

"No, sir." Mary shook her head. "I can present only myself, for your consideration."

"All right," said Captain Hook. "Tell us, then. Why do you wish to become the Pirate King?"

"I wish for world domination," she said, which was what most of the previous contestants had answered when asked this question. (Kind of the pirate-y opposite of world peace, dear reader.) "But let me tell you why. It's because we live in a world of real kings, a world in which we are told to accept the life we've been born into and not seek anything greater. But as pirates we know that our fortunes can change as the tide changes. We can make a difference. We can rise up in the world. I want to be the Pirate King—yes—but I don't mean to be a ruler who puts on an air of superiority and tells everyone what to do. We pirates don't need some fancy, highfalutin king. We need a leader who will work for the true equality of all pirates."

"So you believe in a brother hood of pirates?" Captain Hornigold asked her, and she frowned at the word.

"More like a community," she clarified.

"So like a fellow ship?" he pressed.

"An alliance," she amended.

"A fraternity of like-minded men ?"

Mary smiled tightly. "A union of hardworking individuals striving for the common good of all piratekind."

Jack beamed. She was nailing this. "Three cheers for Captain Read!" he called out impulsively.

Bonn whooped from beside him. "Equality for all pirates! Preach!"

Their enthusiasm seemed to infect the pirates around them. "That's right! A union," Jack heard one fellow say from just behind him. "Working for our common good!"

"ARRR!" said another, and Jack took this to mean that this pirate very much agreed.

Hornigold held up a hand for everyone to be silent.

"That's very interesting, Captain Read," he said. "Is there anything else you'd like to say?"

Mary nodded. "I have ideas," she began. "Little ways to make things better, right from the start. Like free parrot training, which is proving to be very useful on my own ship. And casual Fr—"

"Liar!" someone yelled out from the crowd.

Mary's words trailed off. She had caught sight of the person who'd spoken, someone standing in the audience. The color drained from her face.

"Who said that? Who's she looking at?" Bonn asked, craning her neck around to see.

Jack didn't know, but he had a pretty good idea who it might be.

Mary cleared her throat. "Casual Fridays," she repeated. "And monthly prosthetic—"

"Traitor!" came the voice again. A familiar voice. A raspy one.

"Uh-oh," said Bonn.

There was a flurry of motion in the crowd as a man—Tobias, Jack realized—started to push his way to the front. "Get out of my way!" Tobias said urgently. "Let me through."

Jack followed Mary's gaze, which was still fixed on the person in the audience. A man dressed all in black. Leathery face. Badly groomed beard. Gold tooth.

Vane.

He was smiling in such a menacing way that a shiver rippled down Jack's spine.

"I know what you are, Mister Read," Vane said loudly.

"What he is?" someone in the crowd asked. "He's a captain, isn't he? I'm confused."

But Jack was not confused in the least. Vane was about to out Mary in front of everyone.

His moment had arrived.

Beside him, Bonn let out a low curse. "Get your frying pan ready, Jack," she hissed. "I've a feeling all hell's about to break loose."

Mary glanced down at her feet for a moment, collecting herself, and then looked up again.

"There's something else I need to say," she announced. "Something you all must know."

The room grew quiet. There was a loud sudden tinking noise. Everyone swiveled to look.

"Sorry, sorry, everyone," said a pirate. "I dropped me pin."

Everyone turned their attention back to Mary. Jack saw her take a deep breath. Whatever she said next, it would change everything.

"Oh gawl, don't do it," Bonn breathed from beside him. "Not like this."

But Jack knew the expression on his cousin's face. It was one he recognized from a time when he and Mary had been chased by a couple of really nasty eels when they'd been exploring once. At first they'd swum away, but then, when it had become clear that they wouldn't be able to escape, Mary had turned to face them.

And then she'd kicked the eels' butts (if eels had butts, that is) with nothing but a half-rotted wooden oar.

"My true name is not Mark Read," she said then. "I'm not who you think I am."