Chapter Twenty

O ur gazes collide. If he is surprised by my presence, he doesn’t show it. Damian’s eyes are trained on me as his lips move. Hal who was standing in the background, immediately bends to listen to his boss then begins striding in my direction.

Following Damian’s line of sight, Gianna looks in my direction. I can’t help but notice her beautiful dress and his powerful suit. They are dressed up, which further shows this is anything but a casual dinner.

“Sorry but you’ll have to leave.” The hostess informs. “As I said we are busy and you don’t have a reservation—”

Hal stops beside me in that instant, his hard gaze firmly fixed on the hostess. “Leave,” he says in a curt voice and her cheeks flush. She mumbles an apology and hastily departs.

My knees tremble and I stagger. Hal’s arms come around me. My fingers bunch in the sleeves of his black suit jacket as I hold on for dear life.

“You shouldn’t be here, ma’am.” His strong hand finds my trembling shoulders, but I can’t bring myself to move.

“Damian,” I whisper, the name escaping my lips almost involuntarily.

Hal’s eyes soften. “You look deathly pale. I’ll take you to the hotel where the boss is staying.”

Without waiting for my response, Hal starts hauling me along with him toward the doors. As we start to move away from Damian, my tired mind races. I steal a glance back at him. He’s still in his chair, his attention fully devoted to the model beside him. He hasn’t moved an inch to check on me.

The pain pierces my heart. Damian, whom I loved with all my lonely heart, seems untroubled by my presence here. The ache in my chest deepens, the betrayal almost too much to bear.

I feel sick. And so stupid. I just made a fool out of myself for the man who doesn’t even care about me. And I’m just letting his bodyguard lead me back to his hotel as if I belong to him.

A fierce determination wells up within me. If this love is killing me, I’ll end it in the most brutal way possible. I have to confront him, lay it all bare, and see for myself what I truly mean to him. Which is nothing, evidently. This is my punishment. I deserve to be punished after all the foolish things I’ve done. I know that now. But he can’t have both ways. He can’t continue to be my friend, talk to me daily, and then treat me like a stranger in front of his conquest.

Damian is like a slow poison that I can’t stop devouring even when I know it can end me.

It’s all my fault. Every bit of it. I was that awkward, motherless child who always felt like she didn’t belong, always invisible to everyone. I lived in the shadows, with a voice that often went unheard. All I ever wanted was someone to see me, to care even a little. So, when the first man looked my way, when he gave me that small, fragile bit of attention, my heart—starved for love—clung to him. I fell, completely and utterly, for the man I thought understood the ache of loneliness as deeply as I did.

But I was wrong. He doesn’t love me. Not even as a friend. His cold behavior tonight made it clear. A lone, heart-wrenching sob escapes me.

“Ma’am,” Hal tries to console me awkwardly.

With a trembling voice, I tell Hal, “I’m okay.” My words are a lie, but I can’t let this moment of weakness consume me.

I turn toward the table where Damian sits. Hal’s hand closes around my elbow as I take a step forward.

“It’s not what it looks like.” When I just stare at him, he sighs. “Come with me, boss will explain everything later.”

“He can do it now.”

Hal doesn’t stop me when I pull my arm away. Surprisingly, he doesn’t stop me as I start toward their table. When I reach the destination, Gianna is the first one to look up at me.

“Damian…” I croak, hating the pain in my voice.

He finally tilts his head to stare at me. The night eyes which used to be warm and intense are now studying me as if I’m a stranger. The chill in his gaze pierces my heart.

“Do you know her?” Gianna asks Damian.

I swallow thickly and wait for his answer. He doesn’t address Gianna’s curiosity and asks sharply, “What are you doing here?”

I flinch, swallowing hard. A tear slips down my cheek as I stare at the man who made me lose all the self-respect I once had. “I-I came for you.”

I force a smile when I notice people staring at us. Damian’s face remains expressionless but his jaw is rigid.

“Does your father know you’re here?”

By noon when Dad’s calls became frequent and his messages urgent, I told him I was going out with my new friends from school. While he knows I’m okay, he doesn’t know I’m in New York. I shake my head.

“Hal,” he snaps abruptly and Hal immediately appears by my side.

“Who is she?” I finally blurt.

“Excuse me?” Gianna raises her eyebrows.

“Are you seeing her?” I ask again.

“It’s none of your business.” Damian’s cold words wrench every bit of hope I had and crush it mercilessly.

Gianna looks between the two of us. “Damian, do you know this girl?”

“No,” he says, stabbing my weak heart with his denial. Then he glares at Hal.

At Hal’s touch on my elbow, I cry out, “No!”

My blurry gaze shifts from Hal to Gianna and then back to Damian’s cold, harsh eyes. “As I’m unwanted here, I can see myself out.” My chin trembles as I take a step back, then spin on my heel and run.

This is what I wanted, wasn’t it? I needed to see it for myself, to have the proof that would crush my love. And now I have it.

But did I succeed? In dismay, my heart whimpers, no . Damian still owns my heart. The love I’ve held for him, fierce and unwavering, has been reduced to a cruel joke. Still, this stupid, shattered heart is beating for him. He will never be mine, and the realization is a searing ache that gnaws at the very core of my being.

The whole day I thought I was hurting but this pain… this pain is insurmountable, and I wonder how I’ll ever heal from this wound.

My face twists in a sob. I clench my jaw, trying to stifle the sound, but it escapes in a quiet, choked gasp. Rubbing the back of my hand over my wet, swollen eyes, I wipe the tears and push the door open before stumbling outside.

The sounds of the city engulf me once more—honking horns and bustling crowd.

Blindly, I choose a random direction and start running. I don’t know how I get the energy but I don’t stop. My breaths come out in ragged sobs, and tears stream down my cheeks.

I’m running and turning down the unfamiliar streets, each corner leading me further into the labyrinth of this bustling metropolis.

The onslaught of tears makes it hard to see where I’m headed, but I keep going, fighting the urge to faint, driven by the pain in my heart, determined to increase the distance between me and the place where all of my hopes shattered.

My lungs burn, protesting against my speed and I welcome the sting. Anything, anything at all is welcome if it can pull me from this torment.

I can’t believe how utterly foolish I’ve been, how incredibly naive to let myself fall in love with him. I allowed my heart to be entangled in a web of emotions, and I ended up making a complete fool out of myself.

I flew thousands of miles to see him, to confess my feelings, to lay my heart bare, thinking he felt the same way. How could I have been so blind? So foolish to let myself be consumed by someone who didn’t care, someone who never intended to reciprocate my feelings.

He didn’t even care about me as a friend. He could’ve let me down gently. He could’ve respected our bond and handled that gracefully. Instead, he ripped my heart apart and trampled on it by refusing to even know me.

At that thought, I fall apart. My shoulders shake with each heart-wrenching sob, and the anguish within me spills over, unrestrained and uncontrollable. My pace slows, and I come to a stop, unable to continue. My chest heaves with sobs.

The thought of Damian with her, staring at her, smiling at her, kissing her heightens my helplessness. I cry openly as I stare up at the sky. “I-I… d-don’t even have the right to be j-jealous.” I sob the last word.

I cover my face with both hands, my stomach twisting in tight knots. I was an idiot . I worked up the courage to tell him I love him and ended up being rejected in the coldest way possible.

A deep, low voice calls out my name.

I startle, glancing behind me to find Damian, his strides long and confident as he comes toward me.

No!

I can’t handle any more pain. And that’s what I’ll get if I spend even a fraction of a second with him. So I break into a run again.

I become acutely aware of the heavy sound of his footsteps against the asphalt.

Sniffling, I use all my strength to lose him and turn the corner but the rhythm of his approaching footsteps is like a relentless drumbeat.

He calls out my name again, and agony spreads through me. Why can’t he leave me alone? Isn’t what happened enough? I got my punishment. I paid the price for loving him. I paid it dearly and now I am empty. I have nothing left in me. Absolutely nothing.

The footfalls draw nearer, and I can almost feel the tension resonating through him, sending shivers up my spine.

“Leave me alone,” I whimper, knowing he can’t hear me as I turn another block.

Suddenly, a hand grasps my upper arm. In a single, fluid motion, I’m yanked around, colliding with his strong chest. Immediately, I pull away, my attempt weak and trembling. But he wraps his arm around my waist, halting my movements.

Crying softly, I try again, this time with a little more strength. But still, he doesn’t loosen his grip, and the desperation in my chest tightens.

The ache in my heart turns to rage, and I try once more—this time with a force I didn’t know I had left. My hands push against his chest, weakly at first, and then with more force, pounding my fists against him, as if I could somehow beat the pain out of me. I start sobbing.

He simply stands there. His grip remains firm, and he doesn’t attempt to restrain me. Instead, he allows me to release my frustration and pain.

With each blow I deliver, my sobs grow louder and more desperate. The tears blur my vision, but I can still see the determination in his eyes, a silent promise that he won’t let go, that he’s here.

He keeps holding me until I am spent. My bowed head touches his chest as I take shuddering breaths.

“I told you I didn’t want to hurt you.” He speaks finally.

But you did.

Shaking my head in misery, I say, “L-let me go.”

“You should’ve stayed away,” he continues, cutting me with his words.

“I know,” I admit hoarsely.

I can feel his eyes roving intensely over my face. “But you didn’t.”

“I didn’t.” I agree, still not looking at him. “You should go back to your date.” I choke out.

Damian’s free hand slides up and into my ponytail. Grabbing it, he tugs, bringing my eyes back to him. “Why did you come to New York, River?”

He asked the same question earlier but this time my answer is different. “Because I love you.”

The moment the words leave my lips, his gaze blazes to life, glinting with dark possession. And in an instant, his mouth claims mine.