Chapter Sixteen

Past

A fter our unexpected lunch last week, I couldn’t wait to see him again that weekend. After all, Damian had agreed to it at the café when I told him I wanted to see him.

When he dropped me off at my apartment, I couldn’t resist reminding him about our weekend plans. He shot me a droll look and told me to “be good.”

So I spent the next few days planning our non-date outing.

Over lunch, I seized the opportunity to ask him a few questions, hoping to catch a glimpse of the man behind the mystery that surrounded him.

“So what do you like to do in your free time?” I asked, blushing because he caught me staring at him for the third time.

“I rarely have free time,” he said gruffly. I already knew that, considering how often he worked during our late-night calls. Those calls usually went like this: I’d ramble on about school, my day, what I ate—mundane things like that. His responses were usually just grunts or short phrases like, “Hmm, okay,” or “Is that right?” all while he focused on whatever work he had in the background.

“Still, when you do get some downtime, how do you spend it?”

“With you,” he replied matter-of-factly. My cheeks flushed as my heart skipped a beat, and I struggled good thirty seconds to find words, feeling both shocked and deeply touched by his answer.

“O-okay. What about when you’re not with me?” I asked after a few moments.

“Then we talk on the phone,” He said again. I bit my lower lip to hide my smile. And when his eyes dropped to my mouth, I wanted to duck under the table to hide because I knew my face was bright red.

I cleared my throat and tucked a curl behind my ear. “What do you do when you’re not with me or talking to me on the phone?”

“Hmm.” He leaned back. “When I need a break, I step out onto the balcony, light a cigarette, and just gaze at the night sky.”

“Because it’s peaceful?”

“Because it’s black. Like my soul.”

My lips parted in surprise. “Why do you say that?”

He just shrugged and went back to eating his food.

“Well, the night sky isn’t always black you know.” I said softly. “It has stars that illuminate the sky, dispelling the darkness.”

Damian stilled, the fork hovering mid-air. His gaze locked with mine, and for a brief moment, something flickered in his expression—something I couldn’t quite read—before it vanished as quickly as it had appeared. He lowered the fork slowly, his gaze still on me as he replied, “I suppose you’re right. They aren’t bad to look at either.”

That’s when I made up my mind. I was going to take him stargazing. I wanted to show him that even in the darkness, there’s beauty to be found. That the stars and the night sky create a breathtaking picture, proving they were always meant to be together.

Everything was set. I had gone all out to make this evening unforgettable. A rented telescope, snacks, and a carefully curated playlist of songs were all packed and ready.

I tracked down the best astronomy expert I could find online, met with her, and soaked up everything I could about the cosmos. I learned the stories behind the constellations and committed it all to memory, knowing it would interest him.

This surprise was meant to create a deeper connection between us, a way for him to truly see how much he meant to me. Everything was in place, ready. For his mesmerizing night eyes.

Then, just hours before we were supposed to meet, it all went to waste. He had to cancel because of an unexpected work commitment. I understood, of course. His job was demanding. Still, it was a disappointment.

That was four days ago. He must be swamped with work because I haven’t heard from him in four agonizingly long days.

It’s 11 PM, and I’m sitting in my apartment, unable to sleep. My oversized t-shirt, the one I love to sleep in, hangs loosely on me, and my dark curls are pulled back in a messy ponytail. My feet are warm in fluffy socks, and my face is makeup-free. Sleep has completely eluded me tonight, so instead of tossing and turning, I decided to work on my assignment. At least if I stay busy, I might be able to wear myself out enough to finally drift off.

After an hour of working, I finally lean back in my chair, letting out a weary breath. My arms stretch high above my head, loosening the stiffness in my shoulders, and a long yawn escapes me. It seems sleep has finally decided to catch up with me.

My mouth is parting in yet another yawn when my phone rings. Still yawning, I lean forward to read the caller’s name.

Damian .

My yawn freezes midway, and my heart leaps as I bolt upright, wide awake in an instant.

Should I let it ring for a moment? If I pick up too quickly, he might think I’ve been sitting here, losing sleep over him. Which... okay, I kind of have. But he doesn’t need to know that, does he?

I can’t be too eager. I’ll give it a few seconds. Maybe ten. I nod to myself. Okay, just count to ten, nice and slow.

One…

Two…

Three…

I glance at the screen longingly.

Four… Five… To hell with counting! I lift the phone and that’s when the ringing stops.

“No!”

If I called him now, he’ll think I purposely didn’t answer! On a groan, I push to my feet—my limbs aching from an hour of sitting at the desk—and throw myself on the couch. It makes my body hurt more.

“Serves me right!” I grumble. I’m in the middle of cursing myself when my phone goes off again.

My head snaps up and I lunge for it. “Hello!” I gasp, breathless.

“You’re upset.”

I shiver at his deep voice. Oh, how I missed his voice. Melting back down on the couch, I curl my legs underneath me.

“River?”

“Yes!” My heart begins to beat harder.

“I see,” he murmurs and that’s when I realize what he had said and I just confirmed it.

“No! I mean I’m not upset.” I squeeze the phone with both hands.

“You always answer on the first ring.”

“I do?” I murmur distractedly. I don’t know what happens to me when it comes to him. One minute, I want to talk his ears off, to spill everything I’ve been holding in, and the next, I’m speechless, unable to string two words together. Is this what love does to you? Turns you into someone you barely recognize?

“You mad at me?” he asks quietly in that deep voice that makes my toes curl.

Squeezing the phone tighter, I confess, “I missed you.”

There’s a pause before he speaks, “A major deal went south, and I’ve been busy fixing things for the past four days.” The words has an unexpected edge of guilt, a rare crack in his usual composure. He’s not just explaining himself—he’s offering more than he normally would, like he’s trying to apologize for ghosting me.

“What are you doing right now?” he asks.

“I-I…” My words falter. What was I even doing before I just threw myself on the couch like that? I glance around the living room, hoping it’ll give me some sort of clue.

“Have you eaten?”

“Does granola bar counts?”

He sighs. “I’m coming to get you.”

“What?” I glance down at myself and cringe. I’m definitely not presentable for company—especially his!

“I told you how I feel about you skipping meals.” His voice sends a shiver down my spine. Is this just his way of looking out for a friend? Or is there something more beneath it?

Moments like this make it hard for me to remember that we are just friends. It becomes really difficult to keep my feelings in check.

I clear my throat, trying to hide the excitement in my voice. “Showing up this late at a girl’s place… doesn’t that break your gentlemanly rules?” I tease.

The moment the words slip out, a flicker of doubt hits me. Did I cross a line? Maybe my teasing was too much, too soon. But I can’t help it. I need to know where I stand with him. Testing the waters with a bit of flirting feels like the safest way to catch a glimpse of his real feelings.

It’s been driving me crazy, not knowing how he really feels. Is it possible that he might want more than friendship, too? Or am I reading too much into his actions?

There’s a brief pause on the other end of the line. Then, “I never claimed to be a gentleman.”

His response catches me completely off guard, and warmth floods my face. I bury my head into the couch cushion, trying to muffle the soft giggles bubbling up as my cheeks burn.

“And I never said I’m coming up. I said I’m coming to get you.”

Of course. Says he’s no gentleman but proves that he is by staying in his boundaries. “But I’m not ready to go out. I look hideous!”

“Let me be the judge of that.”

When he says he’s hanging up, I cry out, “Wait!”

“Yes, River?” There’s a hint of amusement in his tone and something tickles in my chest.

“Grab some food, not much as I already have beverages and snacks. And come over.”

“I’m not coming up to your apartment, angel.”

There’s that nickname that takes my breath away. Smiling like a fool, I say, “I know. I have a perfect spot for a little picnic.”

When he doesn’t say anything, I choose another tactic. “Oh, no, don’t even try sulking,” I say. “You stood me up, after all. And it wasn’t exactly the most considerate move, was it?”

He grunts. “You’re not going to let that go, are you?”

“Never.”

He grunts again, muttering something about me blackmailing him before hanging up.

I bolt to my feet and run to my bedroom to get ready. Thank God, I had another shower in the evening, I just have to tame my curls in record speed.

◆◆◆

While searching for the perfect spot for our stargazing outing, I discovered a hidden gem, tucked away amidst rolling hills and towering ancient oak trees.

We just polished off the finger sandwiches Damian brought. It was clear they’d been freshly made by a chef, not picked up from a store. The bread was perfectly soft, and the presentation was immaculate, nothing about it resembled anything you’d buy off the shelf.

He even brought chocolates, my absolute favorite, the kind I could eat until I’m sick. It’s crazy how he always picks out exactly what I want, without me saying a word. There’s no way it’s just a coincidence. It’s fate. Me and him. That’s why he always knows exactly what I love—because we’re meant to be. I just know it.

I unwrap the foil, and the rich scent of cocoa and hazelnut drifts up, inviting me in. I pop it in my mouth, close my eyes, and sigh as the chocolate melts, filling every corner with its flavor.

I open my eyes and find him staring at me. My cheeks redden. “It’s my favorite.” I give him a small smile then lie down on the blanket.

When he keeps sitting, I motion for him to lie with me. When he still doesn’t, I gather my nerve and reach for him. My fingers wrap around his forearm—warm and solid beneath my touch. I’ve wanted to feel it ever since he rolled his sleeves up.

“I don’t bite.” I tease and tug him. He huffs softly, the closest thing to a chuckle I’ve ever heard from him.

He lets me tug him down. And he lies beside me.

We remain quiet, gazing upward at the magnificent night sky. The stars, like radiant jewels, twinkle above us, a breathtaking sight that leaves me in awe.

Then, it hits me—the facts I memorized about the stars and constellations, all for this exact moment. But when I turn to look at Damian, my mind goes completely blank. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I’m just staring at him, completely caught up in him.

It suddenly hits me that nothing—not even all the glittering stars—matters more than him. In this moment, under the night sky, I feel something between us. A connection so strong, even if he doesn’t feel it too.

And I realize now, with every beat of my heart, that the love I have for him isn’t something that will ever disappear. It’s not a passing crush. Not the kind of love you can move on from. I know I can never fall out of love with Damian Montgomery. No matter what happens. And I don’t know if it’s a good thing or the beginning of my downfall.

But as I lay here beside him, gazing at him, I wish that I get to see this view every day for the rest of my life.

As if sensing my gaze, Damian slowly turns his head to meet my eyes. This time, I say nothing to ease my awkwardness at being caught staring at him. I don’t smile sheepishly either. I don’t do anything and let my eyes do the talking.

I’m trying hard to breathe normally but how can I when I’m baring my heart, my soul to him? I feel so vulnerable, so scared yet I keep staring at him.

And then something changes in him. It’s small but I’ve watched him enough to note the difference. And that fills me with determination. It gives me courage to brush my fingers against his on the blanket.

I notice his eyes going darker and my heart feels like it’s going to explode. Every single part of me blushes as seconds tick by. My body hums with awareness all because of that small contact.

I can’t help but want for more. More of that touch. But Damian abruptly pulls his hand away and sits up.

He pulls something out from his pocket. A cigarette. Before he can light it, I sit up and snatch it from his lips, my fingers brushing against his mouth.

“Smoking is bad for your health.”

He stares at me for a long time, his face grim. Then he simply retrieves another one.

I snatch that one too.

Damian glares at me. Without thinking, I lean up and press a swift kiss on his jaw, catching both of us off guard.

My heart is beating fast.

“River—”

I kiss his cheek this time. Then once more before looping my arm with his and resting my head on his shoulder.

We sit there in silence for a good five minutes. I can’t quite explain what made me do it. I’m not exactly the impulsive type, but around him, something shifts in me. He brings out a part of me I hardly recognize—a part I didn’t even know was there.

Now, he knows about my feelings. I decided to be brave and made the first move.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Damian murmurs, breaking the silence.

“Then don’t.” I hug his arm to my chest, enjoying the distant sounds of crickets and the gentle breeze that carries the scent of nearby redwoods.

When he doesn’t pull away from my touch, I realize that this friendly outing just became something more.