Chapter Eight

I try not to think about the fact that his hands are on my elbows, cradling them and holding me up so I don't topple over. I seem to fall a lot around this guy. "Sorry. I'm struggling with the heels. I usually wear sneakers."

"We only have a moment," he says. "They think I'm in the bathroom. What are you doing here? I never thought I would see you again. Why didn't you tell me you were on the show?"

"I didn't know." Though even if I had known, I wouldn't have been allowed to tell anyone. Not my mom or my friends. Certainly not some random dude I'd met in a bar, no matter how gorgeous and charming he was. Because I'd been "cast" so late in the process they hadn't shoved an NDA in my face, but I'm sure it's coming.

His eyes have narrowed, and it's easy to see the suspicion there. "You didn't know you were going to be competing on the show? I find that hard to believe since the casting went on months ago."

I don't like the way he's looking at me. There had been a sense of surprise before, but I had thought he was happy to see me. Now he's had time to think, and he's obviously come to some wrong conclusions. "I started the afternoon as a production assistant. How have they not told you this? One of the women dropped out and they shoved me in this golden tube, placed these godforsaken shoes on my feet, and plopped me in a carriage."

An elegant brow arches over suspicious eyes. "So you're trying to tell me that you had no idea who I was the other night when you approached me."

How quickly he forgets. "I didn't approach you at all. Darnell did."

"But you were the one who talked to me." He manages to make the words sound almost accusatory.

"Because I liked you. I thought you were cute. I didn't realize you were some royal dude looking for a wife on reality TV." I know why he's doing this and I feel for him, but in the moment while he's staring down at me like I'm some kind of gold digger, I'm not feeling fair. "I'm not sure how you think I would know who you are. I would expect a king to have some security around him."

"Oh, I have security. They're simply discreet. There wasn't a moment when we were truly alone," he admits.

"Okay, that feels creepy. So if you'd come upstairs with me that night, someone would have been watching us?"

"Someone would have stood outside and made sure I didn't get into trouble," Luca admits. "How are you working on this show and you have never seen my face? I know I'm not British royalty, but I've been in the press, and I've done a lot of publicity for this show. We've already filmed quite a bit. How did I miss you?"

"Because I wasn't there. I was only hired to work with the primary crew starting the first day of the basic shoot." I need to put some distance between us. I try to step back, but his hands tighten around my arms.

"I'm supposed to believe you had no idea, that you weren't trying to get a leg up on the other contestants. Let me tell you something, Anika. You might be looking for an easy life, but it won't be with me."

Asshole. I pull back. "I don't care what you think, Luca. Or Reg, or whatever the hell you want to call yourself. According to Patrick, you've only got another fifteen minutes or so and then you can get rid of me. But you should smile when I come down to shake your hand because that particular expression you have right now is not doing you any favors. Now let me go."

"That's the problem. I don't want to," he mutters under his breath, but he steps away, his hands coming up. "It's hard for me to believe you didn't know. The other night… It was special to me. I should have known it wasn't real."

"It was real to me. Look, I thought you were a lonely tourist, and I enjoyed spending time with you. I would have slept with you. The truth of the matter is I saw you and thought I could have some hot sex before I started this job and I'm consumed with it for months. You were a treat I was giving myself. That's what I meant to do, but by the end of the night I was already thinking about how to get your number. I'm sorry I don't keep up with European royalty." I actually do, but like the British ones. I mean if a Swedish royal gets involved with a sex scandal I won't ignore that, but past that I am clueless. "Look, Luca, I need this job. All you have to do is cut me and everything will go back to normal. I'll be professional around you, and you can get what you need out of this process." I wince because I was given the rules. "Journey. We're not supposed to call it a process. Apparently that's too clinical, but I mean it really is a process…"

"Ani." He stops me, getting back in my space. He looms over me, and I can't help the way my heart races. He's in a ridiculously well-cut tuxedo, his hair perfectly slicked back. "I want to believe you."

I shake my head because it's time to move this along. I've got a date to be humiliated on camera soon, and I'd like to get through it. "You don't have to. It's all going to be over in a couple of hours. I'm sorry about that. Filming takes longer than you think."

It might go faster since Joe is determined to keep up his live marketing idea, but normally these things take hour after hour because they constantly have to reposition the cameras to get the right shots.

Hours that the women spend in their heels.

"It won't be over for me." There's something plaintive in his tone.

I do feel for him. So many things, but I latch on to sympathy because the other things are painful. "You're going to be great, Luca. You'll find what you need. At least I hope you do."

"Your Majesty, you're needed on set." Christy is standing in the doorway, wearing her radio and carrying a clipboard. "And the producers would like to have a word with you about how tonight's ceremony needs to go."

He's still staring down at me like he's not sure whether to be angry or to eat me alive in the most decadent way possible. "All right."

He steps away and turns to go, straightening his jacket and flashing Christy a confident smile. He's back to being the perfect royal superhero.

I wonder how many women he's kissed tonight. Usually they take it a little slow, but I would bet Shelby at least tried to get her perfectly done lips on him.

I don't want to think about all the times this evening some woman dragged him into what seemed to be a private alcove for an intimate—if you consider four cameras on you intimate—chat with the man I'd spent hours getting to know.

Except I hadn't.

Had I?

"Fox, I'm serious. Get your ass in that living room." Patrick is back and he points the way he wants me to go.

Like I don't remember. I totally knew it was that way. I think. It's a gorgeous place, though it's not in the best of shape. It doesn't matter. It will look great on camera, but I can see where this mansion could use a real live, not-cheated-for-prime-time-TV glow up.

I'm going to have to learn how to get around here. It will help me to better avoid Luca at all costs.

Did the guard say there were tunnels? Because I can hide in tunnels. I can maybe become a mole person and happily live out my life underground and not have to go through with this.

"There you are." Hannah has the biggest grin on her face. She's followed by Ashley F, who sips on her cocktail. "We've been looking everywhere for you. Did you get any private time with him?"

Again, that is a wide definition of the word private. Still, I kind of had. "Yep."

"Isn't he amazing?" Hannah puts a hand to her heart and sighs, looking like a Disney princess who's finally found true love.

I can't tell her that he's not exactly here to truly fall for one of them. I mean I kind of think she should already know. I'm still surprised when people think professional wrestling is real, and that's what this is except with a lot of moisturizer and passive aggressiveness taking the place of fake violence. "He seems nice."

"Ladies, I need you all in the main living area." Patrick is the slightest bit less chilly than he is with me. He must like Hannah. Or she's just not me. "We're going to begin the king's choice in a moment."

"The king's choice? Is that what we're calling it?" I ask.

"Elimination seems cold, and the rose ceremony is trademarked. Also, the daisy ceremony seems incredibly derivative," Patrick says, sounding awfully prim.

"Well, we wouldn't want anyone to think we got this idea from somewhere else," I shoot back.

He shakes his head and moves on. "I hope I don't see this attitude tomorrow or you're going to have a rough time, Fox."

He touches his headset and begins to speak, leaving us behind.

"What does that mean?" Ashley F asks. "I thought they wanted us to have attitude."

"It means I'll be back in the trenches tomorrow," I explain as we start toward the room where the cocktail party seems to have moved. Our steps echo along the parquet floors. "They pulled me out of the production assistant pool. The king is going to cut me along with two others this evening. Excuse me. The king is going to decline to choose me, and this Cinderella is going back to sweeping the chimney."

Ashley F hustles to keep up with me. I'm short, but I can power walk when I want to, and I want to now. I want to get this over with. Seeing Luca like that completely unsettled me. I don't like being unsettled. Settled is better.

A deep sense of disappointment coats my whole soul. At least I'd had that night. It hadn't ended the way I'd wanted it to, but I had the memory of walking through the city, talking to him, holding his hand and getting ice cream.

Now that ice cream is ash because it had been lying to me. Lying.

He isn't some nice guy. He's a guy like all the rest. He is cynical and wouldn't believe a word I said, and that was that.

No. It's better this way. It's better that I see who he truly is. I won't be mooning over the man anymore. I'll throw the condoms at his face when he asks for them, and I'll buy the cheapest ones and the smallest size. Nothing will be lubed for her pleasure. Nothing.

"Wait. So you're going to have to go back to work?" Hannah asks. "I thought we went to a hotel until after the shooting's over."

"They usually let the ones who are eliminated very early go home," I say as we approach the right doors. I know they're right because there's a whole army of entertainment professionals hanging around this particular hallway. Also, I see Luca disappear behind the ornate doors. "They're not allowed to talk about what happened, but the first few aren't sequestered like the later contestants will be. In my case, I'll rejoin the production crew."

"That's going to be weird." Hannah stops in the middle of the hall. "I don't think I like that. You haven't really had a chance with him."

I can't tell her how much of a chance I've had with the man and how completely screwed up it had been.

It hadn't seemed screwed up at the time. It had seemed magical.

"Yeah, I don't think you got time with him all night," Ashley is saying as we approach the table where craft services is set up. "Everyone has pulled him aside at least once. Of course then Janice comes and steals him away. She did it three times tonight. It was rude. Not even Shelby did that, though I'm pretty sure she already kissed him."

That's a kick to the gut. I don't want to think about the fact that he'd declined to kiss me but he's been all over Shelby.

I focus on the table in front of me so I won't show anyone that I have stupid tears in my eyes.

It is mean that they set up all the real food away from where the contestants could sneak a chicken tender or shove some fries down their throats. No. We're supposed to have canapés and carrot sticks because we have to fit into dresses like the one I'm wearing.

I'm seriously considering slipping a couple of sandwiches down my golden tube dress because I know how long this is going to take and I need some fuel. I'm about to snatch one when a familiar face appears.

"Hey, baby. You look real good. I think it was stupid smart of you to fall like that. You want a cookie?"

My mom. My mother is standing at the craft services table, and my day is complete.

"What are you doing here?" I stand there, sure my jaw is hanging open.

"I could use a cookie," Hannah says. "I'm not all that into vegetables. I was hoping for mini burgers."

Ashley F snorts. "Girl, you are going to have a rough couple of weeks."

"I'm working, baby," my mom says, offering Hannah a chocolate chip cookie. "And you, young lady, are welcome to come to my table and grab some real food. I'm afraid if you're in that mansion you have to cook for yourself, and I caught sight of the way they stocked the refrigerator. It's very healthy, if you know what I mean. Why are so many of you vegan?"

I do not have time for my mom's antics. "You didn't mention you got the contract for this production."

She shrugs. "You didn't mention you were going on a reality show so you could marry a king. He's hot."

"He's too pretty." My mother's best friend and longtime business partner, Tonya, walks up with a big batch of what I suspect is her pasta salad. It's a recipe she's perfected over the many long years she and my mom have been in the business. "Ani, I thought you were dating that lawyer."

"That was last year," my mom says. "I thought she was giving matchmaking a try. You know she recently became a client of Lydia Marino's. I know. I was shocked, too. I thought she only took Italian Catholics. Maybe if I'd known she would match up Swedish Lutherans, I wouldn't have wasted all that time with Bill."

My dad. Sure. That's great to hear. That divorce is the gift that keeps on giving.

This is a problem I will have to deal with later. But I will take a cookie. It's better than nothing. "We have to be on set. If we're not, Patrick might kill me. Mom, I will talk to you tomorrow when I'm back to my real job."

"What does that mean?" Mom asks with a frown.

My mother being here is a wrinkle I certainly haven't counted on, but it's meaningless in the grand scheme of things. I love my mom. She's wonderful, but she can be a lot. However, she also feeds the crew, and she's done it well for years. Everyone loves my mom and Tonya.

Maybe if she feeds Patrick well enough, I won't get fired.

"It means I'll talk to you tomorrow." I turn and walk away, only wobbling slightly. It's not that I never wear heels. I'm a woman of a certain youthful age. We love our heels, but I'm more of a chunky heel girl. I love a good wedge because that feels solid to me.

I'm balancing on a knife's edge in these, and not doing it well.

I stride in, munching on my cookie, and stop because that is a wall of gorgeous women.

They're all in their places, standing on risers in two rows, perfectly positioned. Every one of them is flawless. Not a hair out of place. No lipstick on their teeth. These women know how to walk in any heel you give them.

I am so out of place.

"Ladies," Patrick barks. He points to the beautifully decorated space that forms the set of the elimination ceremony.

Luca stands to the side with Joe and another two men in suits I recognize as producers. They're high level so they won't remember my face, but I've worked on projects with both of them before. They're sharks, and they seem to be looking over a list. They point to the paper and Luca shakes his head.

"We should hurry." Hannah smooths down her dress. "Do I have anything in my teeth?"

Ashley F shakes her head. "No. You look great, and I think he liked you."

Hannah smiles. "I think he liked you, too. He was grinning when he brought you back. I think we're going to make it." She looks at me, her face falling into a forlorn expression. "I wish you'd had some time with him. If he could get to know you…"

"I'm great. This is perfect for me." I cross the distance between us and the rest of the contestants as Patrick places me right beside the king stealer known as Janice. She's probably one ten soaking wet and looks like she could have been plucked out of a Barbie box and placed right here on the show. She wouldn't be the Barbie who had a career. She would be trophy-wife Barbie. I would bet she follows a bunch of trad wife streamers.

"Stay," Patrick orders like I'm a puppy who might run off.

I would if they hadn't made me wear these heels.

"Seems like you were smart enough to know you don't have a shot," Janice says out of the side of her perfectly painted mouth.

I hate a mean girl. "At least I didn't make a spectacle of myself by ruining everyone else's time alone with the guy."

"I had things I needed to say to him," she whispers back.

"Then you should have said them during your own time," another woman hisses.

I will be out of here soon. Just a couple of hours of repositioning cameras and getting the right lighting and I'll be back in my tiny apartment. It's what I tell myself while Patrick calls for quiet and the assistant director gives us all instructions.

Be aware the camera is on us at all times.

Don't forget some of this will be live streamed.

Be ladies. No fighting, but a few tears and some righteous indignation is more than welcome.

Then Luca is standing there, and I'm wondering if he'll drop me first and get this over with. I send him what I hope is a pleading look as the host does the whole rigamarole about the journey, and how hard it is finding a soulmate, and Luca's queen is right here in this room, yada yada.

"Ladies, it's been my greatest honor getting to know each of you this evening," Luca says in that sexy British accent of his. Also a lie. "I hope you understand that if it was my choice, I would keep all of you." A chuckle goes through the crowd like they think it's amusing he would keep a bunch of women, most of whom obviously don't like each other. "But I'm looking for more than a wife. I'm looking for someone who can help me with the responsibilities of my country. With that in mind, I'd like to make my first decision." He picks up one of the flowers a PA has set on the table beside him. "Hannah, will you continue on this journey with me?"

Well, at least he has some sense. I can hear a gasp go through the woman next to me. Janice obviously didn't think Hannah would get through.

I smile—what might be my only genuine expression all night—as Hannah nearly trips on her way to the king. She handles it all with a shrug, and it's easy to see Luca finds her amusing.

"What could he want with that country bumpkin?" Janice asks, though her lips don't move.

I'm going to make sure Janice gets absolutely nothing she wants. "We're not supposed to talk."

"Fox." My name is hissed from Patrick's mouth.

I shrug his way as Hannah takes the first place on the bus to queendom. Fake queendom. I don't know what to call it.

Maybe I can get a takeaway bowl of pasta salad on my way out the door.

Although Patrick will likely rip the borrowed dress off me, shove me into overalls, and tell me to start cleaning up.

I hate this life.

"Emily," the king announces and a stunning woman on the opposite side of the platform starts to make her way to him.

"Ashley W."

I'm disappointed W got called before F, but I'm still certain my new friend will get one of those daisies.

My feet hurt and the cookie I'd downed is long gone as we move into the second hour. Joe has gotten two live streams in, and I'd stayed frozen through both.

"I heard the live stream already has over three million views," someone on the second row says.

"I know. It's super exciting. I just hope I don't get cut on the live stream. That would be brutal," someone else says.

It will be liberating.

At least that's what I tell myself. This is nothing but a funny story to tell my friends. Or as a two truths, one lie. I bet I can get a lot of people with I was once rejected on a live stream by the king of a small European country.

"Reset. This time we're going to eliminate a contestant since he'll be letting go of several of you and I want you each to have some time onscreen." Joe doesn't look like he feels how late the night has become. He's fresh as a daisy, and I'm trying not to yawn. I wonder how bad my eyeliner looks. After midnight I become a raccoon with smudgy eyes and a desperate need to eat some trash.

I can hear my stomach growl.

It's not cute.

I look over and the women who will move on are standing there. It's time for Luca to cut one of the remaining contestants.

Me. Let it be me.

"So if you hear your name this time, I'm sorry, but you're not a good match," Joe says and manages to sound sympathetic. He nods Luca's way, and then we're rolling again.

This is my moment. I can feel it. I'm going to give him my brightest smile and tell him I understand and wish him all the best, and then I'm going to use the bathroom.

I never knew how nice it was to simply be able to go whenever you want to. I'm going to throw these shoes at Christy, run to the bathroom, and then find my comfy clothes, elude Patrick, steal some of my mom's food and eat it huddled on a subway seat. I'll hiss at anyone who gets close, and New Yorkers know when a girl's having a day. I'll only have to worry about tourists, who will be unnerved at my state of unwellness…

"Chloe, I'm sorry. We didn't have enough of a connection," Luca says.

Bastard. He's going to make me stand here. He's a good king. If you like medieval torture kings.

Chloe cries and tells him he's making a huge mistake. Some of the girls aren't here for the right reasons but she was and… I stop listening to her. I'm focused on him.

He's got a blank look on his face. Oh, he's still handsome, and he's making all the right moves. He holds her hand and nods as though he understands. He tells her he's sorry.

This has to be crappy for him, too.

"I knew he would get rid of the fat chick," Janice says.

"Oh, I suspect he'll get rid of the bitch soon," I shoot back as quietly as I can.

The woman in front of me turns slightly. "I like you, new girl. Janice is a straight-out bitch, and I hate using that word. It's the only one to describe her, though."

Janice rolls her eyes. "Sure. Tell yourself that, Riley."

So she's great with a comeback. I would say that to her but we're moving on. The next hour passes and I'm thrilled that Ashley F gets picked and sad that Shelby does, too.

Another woman is cut, and she cries and asks him to reconsider. It's painful to watch until she looks over at Joe and asks if that was good.

Luca looks tired.

And then it's down to me and Janice.

"All right, this is it," Joe instructs us. "We're live in five, four…" Three, two, and one.

Luca stands there in his perfect tux, and I know he's making this hard on me. He's decided I did him dirty, and I can only hope he doesn't need to go over all the reasons he's cutting me.

"This is a difficult decision, ladies. You're both beautiful and charming, and I'm sure you're both queens in your own right. But I'm looking for something specific. I have to think beyond myself. My queen has to have more than grace. She must have kindness and a selfless streak."

That asshole. I am kind and selfless. When do I think of me? Certainly not doing this job. I'm everyone's assistant. I'm the one all people rely on.

It hits me hard that I don't have anyone to rely on. Not in a soul-deep way. I have my friends, but they have lives. Have I ever had someone I shared every moment with?

I feel my singularness in this moment in a way that brings tears to my eyes again. I feel vulnerable and exposed, and it's not fair. This is going to hurt more than I thought it would, and cameras will chronicle every moment of my pain.

"Anika, will you continue this journey with me?"

I smile and nod, brushing away those stupid tears. "I understand."

Luca is holding out a daisy.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Janice proves she knows how to get the villain edit. There are a couple of shocked gasps from the crew, but they don't stop taping. "Her? She's pathetic."

Wait. What had he said?

"And this attitude is why I couldn't pick you," Luca replies with a frown. "You were selfish tonight. All the women respected the needs of their fellow contestants. All except you. I'm sorry it can't work. But I think Anika and I have an excellent connection."

I feel my eyes go wide as Hannah unleashes a squeal of delight.

"We do?" I ask.

His eyes warm visibly as he looks my way. "We do."

He holds a hand out and helps me down the steps. He didn't do that with anyone else. I'm the only one who needs help. He presses the daisy in my hand and leans over to brush his lips against my cheek.

"If I have to stay, so do you," he whispers. "Welcome to my hell, Persephone."

It takes everything I have to smile and accept the flower. I manage to say something about trusting the journey. Then I join my fellow contestants.

They bring out the champagne and no one even thinks to order pizza.