Chapter Twenty-Four

I stand in the lobby where all this crap started and wonder why I bothered to show up. Jessica's assistant called the night before and asked if I would take a meeting with her at noon. It's been three long days since the king gave me the cut direct. I'm calling him the king for now. I'm sure I'll get back to thinking of him as Luca, but for the foreseeable future I have to pretend that Luca didn't really exist. I'm sure a therapist would call it a coping mechanism.

"She's ready for you." Abby, Jessica's longtime receptionist, gives me a sympathetic look. I don't know if she's aware of what's truly happened, but it's obvious she knows I'm in trouble. "Are you okay? Can I get you anything before you go in? Some coffee?"

I shake my head because I'm not thirsty. I'm curious more than anything. Why did she offer this meeting when it would be easier to simply let me go? I wasn't going to contact her again. In fact, I suspect Lawyer would tell me I shouldn't walk into that office.

I'm kidding. His name is Dave and he's lovely, but he would be upset that I'm about to talk to her.

"Thanks, but I don't think this will take long." I stride to the door and open it, letting myself into that magnificent office with views of Central Park. I'd hoped to be here one day, but now I think I would have to sell too much of myself.

Jessica stands at the window overlooking that swath of brilliant green in the middle of the city. She turns slightly when I join her, and I'm surprised to see she looks tired. She's never less than perfect, but today she looks closer to her actual age. "Anika, thank you for coming in."

So we're going to be polite. "Thanks for getting me kicked off the show in a deeply painful fashion."

Well, she's polite. I guess I'm a little bitter.

She frowns my way. "I know you won't believe this, but you'll thank me for that one day. Anika, you can't honestly think you were going to marry that man and become the queen of…whatever country he owns. It was all for show. He wants a bump in tourism. That's all. The most you were going to get out of this is a few weeks of press on the other side, and then a month or two with him before he gently broke it off. European royals don't marry girls from Hell's Kitchen."

"We'll never know now." It's not like I haven't thought every word she's saying. It's just that when I was with him, it felt right. It felt so right that the gaps in our experience and backgrounds didn't seem to matter. It felt so right that at the end, I was ready to take on the challenge of learning how to be a queen for him. I was ready to embrace his world because he'd become the center of mine.

Such a silly girl to dream that love was enough.

"I know." She turns to me, her expression going grim. "What do you think you're doing, Anika? I heard that the production assistant has hired a rather expensive lawyer. There's zero way he does that unless you're willing to talk. Do I need to explain your nondisclosure agreement to you?"

I shake my head. "An NDA can't bind me if criminal behavior is witnessed. The NDA means I can't talk about why I was there. That's all it covers. I had a lawyer look it over."

"Of course you did."

"Someone taught me to always know what I'm going into. I screwed up this time because I genuinely believed that you wanted me to find the truth. You've taught me a lot. I won't forget this lesson. It might be the greatest lesson you ever teach me."

"Damn it, Anika, I was going to take care of the kid," she says with a huff as she strides over to her desk. "I was going to write him a large check and avoid all of this. The truth of the matter is I already signed the contracts with Joe. We're announcing the project as soon as he returns from Ralavia. Though now apparently that's a clusterfuck of a situation."

"What do you mean? And why would you sign the contracts before I gave you my report? I thought that was the whole point."

She puts a hand to her head as though trying to stave off a headache. "Because you hadn't found anything and he was considering another job, one that would conflict with ours."

"So he strong-armed you into making a bad decision."

"You have to understand that we've spent millions on this project already, and the actor attached is insistent on having Joe as the director."

I know exactly who she's talking about. Kent Osbourne is the hottest action star working today. His last three films collected almost a trillion dollars in worldwide box office. He started his career with Joe, and it looks like he was standing up for his boy. But there was a problem. "I suspect Joe isn't sexually harassing Kent."

Her eyes close as though she's willing herself to be patient. When she opens them again, she settles into her "let's be reasonable" face and gestures to the chair in front of her massive, elegant desk. "I suppose not. I know you think I'm fine with this, but I'm not. I'm shocked. I had no idea he cheated on his wife."

I lower myself down because I would like to hear this explanation. "Did you know he was bi? I don't get that. It's perfectly okay to be out in our industry. I got the whole ‘but my parents' thing. He's a grown man. He's wealthy on his own. How much money does he need? Also, that's zero excuse for what he did. I forgot to ask. Do you believe me?"

She sighs, a weary sound. "Yes. I believe you saw what you saw, and I heard it in his voice when he called me. He told me the same thing. He told me he's bisexual. I explained that I didn't care. I do care that he hurt people in my employ. But there's so much money riding on this."

"He'll do it again. If you hand him the reins that will put him back on top, there will be no stopping him. You're making a monster worse. He'll understand that there are no real repercussions to his actions, and he'll behave accordingly." I have a few questions to ask. "Would it be different if I'd found him molesting a young woman? If the PA had been Lily or me instead of Patrick, would you still be asking me to stand down?"

She sits back. "I don't know. I think it's far harder to prove that a man is harassing another man."

"Why?"

"Because they tend to be sexual creatures, and Patrick is gay," Jessica offers. "There will be people who say he likely wanted it and when he didn't get everything he thought he should, he cried foul."

"Like they don't say that about women all the time? Jessica, you have been my mentor for years and I've respected you, but if you can't see that this is the same, I'm disappointed." Not words I ever thought I would say to this woman.

Her eyes are steady on me. "I have to be realistic."

I give her back some steel of my own. "He has every right to a safe work environment."

Her head shakes as though she's already negating that argument in her head. "There won't be a work environment if this all goes to hell. I doubt Kent Osbourne will come down on the side of a PA when the man who gave him his big break is already whispering in his ear that this is all a big misunderstanding and a production assistant is trying to blackmail him for cash. He's good at this."

I wasn't playing games. "Then he can deal with the press when the lawsuit gets filed because Patrick doesn't intend to blackmail him. He intends to have his day in court so Joe doesn't do this to anyone else. He's the hero here, Jess. He's in the right, and you're making decisions that put you in the same group you claim is everything that is wrong with our industry. That's what I don't understand."

Her eyes narrow, anger obvious in her stare. "Don't vilify me. You have no idea how hard it is to sit behind this desk. It's easy for you. You don't have to choose between a company you've spent your whole life building and your moral center."

"I assure you none of this was easy for me," I argue. "Did you know they would bug my room?" Again, I'm curious.

She bites her bottom lip. "Ah, so that's how they knew you were seeing the king off set. I was rather surprised to find out you of all people would cheat like that."

"Cheat? You need to decide which it is. Either the show is pure fantasy and then my relationship with the king is meaningless as long as we play by the rules on camera, or it's a real thing and then maybe you shouldn't have producers try to influence his every decision," I shoot back. Now that I'm sitting here, I'm surprised at how easy it is to spar with her. I would have been afraid before, afraid to disappoint her, afraid to rock the boat.

Sometimes the boat needs to capsize.

"Joe means to use that footage of you if you don't back down," she warns. "I'm having to deal with that as well. If that footage gets out, I don't know if we'll be able to air the show. The reality show isn't as important as the film franchise, but it's got surprising buzz behind it. If he puts out the story that you and the king had a deal before filming ever started, it's going to be bad for you both."

"So this is the part where you blackmail me." I've already thought about this possibility. It's kind of hard not to when you discover you've made something of a sex tape. "Luca's a big boy and the network needs this show. I don't think you're going to throw me under this particular bus, and if you do, the resulting scandal will likely bring Luca the press he wanted anyway. Instead of the king looking for a bride, he can become the bad boy of European royalty. He's a smart man. He'll figure out how to get what he needs."

"And what about what you need?" Jessica counters. "I know you seem to think I've fired you, but no decisions have been made yet. I'll take care of Patrick financially and you can come back to work. I'll even give you whatever project you want."

If only it were that easy. I want to take the offer. I can make a difference from the inside. But that would leave Patrick behind. It would leave a lot of men at risk for the same treatment, and the longer it goes on behind the scenes, the more other powerful men learn that as long as they have cash, they can get away with anything. Someone has to hold the line. I never imagined it would be me. "No."

"Why are you being so obstinate? I thought I taught you that we have to work around the system sometimes," Jessica argues. "I thought you were smarter than this."

"And I thought you had more integrity. Everyone who faces a situation like this has to make their own decision, and I won't judge a victim if they feel like they need to take a check and get some closure for their own mental health. But I wasn't traumatized. I'm a witness, and if I don't stand up, who the hell am I?" I rise from my seat because this is getting us nowhere.

She looks as close to tears as I've ever seen her. Jessica Wallace is a rock, but this seems to have shaken her. "Can't you see? Sometimes the boss has to make the hard decisions."

Like Luca had. He made the decision to sacrifice me over his people.

I will always miss him, but deep down I suddenly know I'm going to get through this. I will find my way to the other side and be stronger for it. I am more than my relationship with one man. I'm more than a love affair or a TV show I was briefly on. I am more than my job.

I am a product of the people who love me. My mom and Tonya. Harper and Ivy and Heath and Darnell. I am my own unique being, and I have to make decisions, too. I have to decide what I can live with and what I can't, what actions build me up or tear me down and strip pieces of my soul away.

I have to decide what I'm willing to fight for. What I am willing to sacrifice for the good of the people around me.

Like a queen.

"I'm sorry it had to end this way, Jessica. I really do thank you for everything you've done."

Her hands fist on the desk. "Anika, this is a stupid emotional reaction, and you're going to regret it. You can't beat him."

"Maybe not. But I'm going to give it a hell of a try." I stride to the door and only turn when I've opened it. "I don't suppose I'm going to get to have my say on the contestants-tell-all show?"

She shakes her head. "My darling girl, he's going to eviscerate you in edits. No. You're going to be the villain, and it might take years to get your reputation back."

She's right, though there's a simple solution. "Is this one of those decisions you're making as a boss? Because you own that footage."

Her lips purse. "It's out of my hands."

"It's not. It's a decision," I say gravely. "Own it. This is your choice to try to cover it up and ruin a couple of lives to save that piece of crap. So now we know where we stand. I noticed your stock was down today. I wonder why."

Her eyes narrow. "Are you starting rumors?"

"I don't have to. I can tell the truth," I reply simply, and my heart aches because this is the end of an era. I did love her. I looked up to her. I'm so sad she is less than I thought she was.

"Anika, are you still talking to him?" Jessica follows me out into the empty lobby.

"Joe? No. The next time I see him will be in court." I'm going to take it all the way.

"No, the king. He's causing trouble on the set or something," Jessica admits. "They were supposed to start shooting today, and he's not there."

"He's not in Ralavia?" That doesn't sound like Luca. He's done a lot to keep the show going. I would have thought he would be happy to be home and to almost be through.

"He got on the plane, but he didn't show up for his call this morning. I have to wonder if you're causing this trouble." Jessica crosses her arms over her designer blouse. "It won't work. We can't possibly bring you back."

"I'm sure he got called away on some business. He is a king, you know." This is no longer my problem. "Good luck with all of that. And don't expect me to keep my mouth shut. If you don't give me a space on the show for my side of things, I suspect there are reporters willing to talk with me. Good luck, Jess. I really do thank you."

Her face flushes. "I wish it didn't have to end like this."

I feel tears spark. "Me either."

I turn and leave that part of my life behind. It's time to build again.