Chapter Twenty-One

I check myself in the mirror before walking into the king's choice ceremony. There's a tension that's played through the house today because no one wants to go home fifth. Even Hannah, who deeply believes Luca is going to pick me and has been practicing her final rejection tears, is a little on edge. I think that's because she's worried about Riley.

"Hey, baby. You want some sliders? They're hot off the grill," my mom says as I start to pass her.

I stop and put my hands on my hips, showing off the designer gown I spent way too much on for this ceremony. Well, Ivy did, but I'm paying her back. She tried to tell me I could wear the sucker and return it, but I took the tag off because I'm going to need something besides yoga pants and T-shirts in my upcoming job. I'm not going to bankrupt my new country, hence I shall keep this shiny emerald cocktail dress around for entertaining. Queens entertain a lot, I think. "If I eat one of your sliders, I won't fit into this dress anymore."

"You look gorgeous, sweetheart." Tonya steps in beside my mom.

"Of course she does. That's why she can eat the sliders. She loves the sliders," Mom argues. She's frowning and when she stomps away, I'm left staring after her.

Tonya sighs. "Sorry. She thought she would get to see you more when she took this job. I'm afraid when she realized you would be a PA on set, she spent weeks making sure to work all your favorites into the mix."

My heart softens. I'm at a stage in life where I work almost all the time, and when I'm not working, I see my friends. I love my mom. She's great, but I haven't spent much time with her. "And that would have worked if I hadn't been shoved into a too-short dress and forced to compete in a blinged-out arena for a king."

Tonya snorts. "You always did have a way with words." She leans forward, her eyes glancing around as though making sure we're as alone as we can be on a set like this. "They fired Patrick, you know. Said he was behaving inappropriately. I have a hard time believing that since I've worked on four sets where he was the head of the PAs. I know he's on the hard-ass side, but he's a good kid."

"You know him?"

Tonya nods. "Yeah. Like I said, your mom and I have worked with him a few times, but I know him from more than just work. And that's all I can say about it."

I nod because I know what she means. If she can't talk about it, then she knows him from meetings. Tonya's been sober for more than twenty-five years now. I didn't know her before, but she's one of the most solid human beings in my life. Despite the fact that I wasn't her child, Tonya came to every school play and picnic. She helped me with homework while she waited for her cookies to bake. I adore this woman, and I hate that I can't tell her I'm taking care of the situation. "I wouldn't worry about it, and that's all I can say."

She stares at me for a minute and then snaps her fingers. "I knew there was a reason you took this job and it wasn't to end up marrying some king. Although you should know your mother and I think he's lovely. He comes by every day and talks to us."

I wince. "He should be more subtle."

"He is, but I'm your mom. I know when a guy likes you." My mom is back, and she's got a cup in her hand. "Here, baby. A green smoothie with ginger and some caffeine for energy. It won't make you bloat. I make this for all the actresses."

I take the peace offering because there's no need to fight with her. And I can probably use the energy. I take a sip and like usual, it's delicious. "Thanks. But he shouldn't show me any preferential treatment."

Tonya's lips turn up in a grin. "He only talks about you a little. He asks a lot of questions about your mom, though. I think he's trying to get close to her so he can be close to you."

"Or he wants to know if I can fit into royal society," my mom says quietly.

Is she worried about this? "He's not like that, Mom. I don't think his people are particularly posh. They seem very down to earth."

"Are you honestly thinking about marrying him?" My mom reaches out and takes my hand. "I don't want to screw this up for you."

I squeeze her hand. "You couldn't. Mom, if I thought for a second he wouldn't accept you, I wouldn't be falling for him. He's a good man. Though you might have to wear heels. Just kitten ones."

"I can't believe this is happening." My mom leans against the table, a little out of breath.

I take another sip. This probably isn't the time, but I can't leave her like this. "How do you feel about it?"

She takes a long breath and straightens up. "I'll be sad you'll be living on another continent, but as long as you're happy, that's all that matters to me. Though I'm not sure about the heels."

Tonya shakes her head. "I can get her in heels. She still has some. But I want you to be careful, sweetie. We've worked shows like this many times and I know the emotions can be real and intense, but they often don't last. I'm not telling you what to do. I'm merely advising you to guard your heart. I know you've been on set for weeks, but how much actual time have you been able to spend with him? I would bet the time you've spent with him by yourselves is less than an hour."

That would be true if he didn't sneak into my room every single night. I've spent hours and hours every night getting to know this man and his big heart. Hours learning the feel of his mouth on mine and how well he can love me. "I'll tell you some stories when all of this is done. I promise." I finish off the smoothie, and it hit the spot. I hug my mom and Tonya in turn. "I love you both, and I'll try to see you before we pack up tonight."

Because they won't be going to Ralavia with us. The basic crew is, but services like food would be picked up by a local catering company.

"You're feeling confident. I like it." Tonya winks my way.

My mom nods. "Be sure you do come by. I'll make you a to-go box because I've seen the fancy catering for the ceremony. Let's just say it'll keep you comfy in that dress."

"Anika, we need you on set." Lily holds her clipboard, a grim look on her face.

She's likely inherited a lot of responsibility she isn't ready for. I'm not going to make her job harder. "Coming."

She walks ahead of me into the grand ballroom. I can't help but look at it and wonder what it was like back in the Gilded Age. Harper's told me she would love to take a crack at restoring this place.

That would make an interesting show.

Luca is already in the center of the women, his glass of champagne in hand. He's the picture of masculine elegance in his suit, the blue of the tie bringing out his eyes. That man takes my breath away. I stop and stare at him for a moment. There's a tightness to his jaw that lets me know he's not excited about the coming night. He hates disappointing people, and I'm sure he feels crappy about keeping Shelby and letting Ashley F or Riley go.

He'll tell me all about it tonight.

"Ms. Fox, could I have a word?"

I turn and Hans is standing there. He's also in a suit, but he's built on bulky, super-muscular lines so I always think he's waiting to Hulk out and the suit will rip around him right before he saves Luca from whatever is coming his way. It's weird because I've rarely heard him talk. He's the silent but deadly type to a T. "Sure. Everything okay?"

One brow rises in a "would I be talking to you if everything was okay" way. "I want to tell you that Luca is a man who makes sacrifices for that which he loves. Don't forget that."

"Uh, are you trying to warn me about something?" If he is, he's being super cryptic.

He frowns and curses under his breath in German. "I'm telling you that sometimes plans don't work out the way we think that they will. So be ready."

"Anika!" A sharp bark pulls me away from the dude who's playing the role of conspiracy theorist number one in the scene I find myself in. It's Joe and he's standing with Luca, looking irritated as hell.

So I bet he's figured out I talked. Well, that was inevitable. I'm surprised he's still here, but it can take a while to sort things out. It's why I told Tonya not to worry about Patrick. He'll be taken care of in the end. I still have a job to do, so I suck it up and walk into the party.

Two hours later, I'm confused but I stand with my fellow contestants as Luca looks us all over.

He's been weird all night, and Lily's been glued to his side so even when we were filming our talk together, we weren't alone. I have to wonder what he's been through today and if he's been pulled into talks with the producers over how to handle the Patrick situation. If Jessica wants to move fast, she could up end a lot of Luca's plans. He might not understand that we can fix almost everything. The crew is solid. They'll be fine in the hands of the assistant director. But I can understand that it might feel scary for Luca. After all, he's betting his country's future on this show.

Hannah is standing to the side with her daisy, and Shelby's already gotten hers, too. The camera is set for his next selection, and I have no doubt they're going to play this thing for as much drama as possible so when he calls out Ashley F's name, I simply nod and smile, happy for her.

Riley sniffles beside me, and I move into the space close to her while Ashley F accepts her daisy and talks about how thrilled she is to be going to Ralavia.

"I'll miss her so much," Riley says so quietly I can barely hear her.

She's talking about Hannah not Ashley. I can see Hannah's already teared up. This is going to be an emotional night.

"Reset," Joe orders as everyone takes their places again. He's been terse and on edge, so I'm sure the man knows what's coming.

I glance over at Luca, but he's not looking my way. He's talking to Hans, who pats his shoulder and says something I can't hear that has Luca's jaw tensing again.

This is going to be hard on everyone, but I suspect that it'll feel bad even though I think all the other women know what's happening at this point. But we've made a little family, and it hurts to let anyone go.

The host steps in and gravely explains that this is the last choice the king will make this evening and if we do not hear our names, we must say good-bye and give up our hopes for the throne forever.

Riley is already crying, and I hold her hand.

I can't help but tear up, too. There were so many of us, and now I'm left with these women I've gotten to know and love. Well, most of them. The show is coming to a rapid conclusion, and these moments somehow feel precious to me.

"This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do," Luca says, his voice thick with tension.

Well, he's the head of a whole country so I doubt that, but we're playing for drama. I squeeze Riley's hand and hope I look nervous.

"I have to think about not only what is best for myself, but more importantly, what is best for my country. I need to select a queen who will embody all the things I love about Ralavia. The independence of her people, their willingness to come together during hard times and make tough choices that enrich the group rather than the individual."

His words kind of flow through me because I'm more concerned about how I'm going to handle this gently with Riley. Should I hug her and talk to her before I approach Luca? Or wait for the group good-bye?

"For these reasons, I'm giving my last daisy to Riley."

I turn to her, ready to give her a hug, but she's stopped and there's no way to miss the gasp that has gone through the room.

The world seems to still for a moment, and I look to Luca, who stares at me as though willing me to take this with some grace. He's not looking at Riley at all. He dumped me on camera, and he's trying to get me to walk away with some dignity. I don't know. I only know he's staring at me like I should understand why he did what he did.

I look to Joe, who's smug now, and I do understand.

I understand that I've been betrayed utterly by a person I believed in. Jessica isn't doing anything but covering up Joe's crimes. That's the only explanation. I mean, I guess I could believe Luca never cared about me and used me for sex and now he's dumping me, but the timing is too perfect.

They convinced him to give me up. They likely told him they would end production if he didn't. Hans just told me so. His words make sense now. I'm the sacrifice, and Ralavia is what Luca truly loves. It's his only love.

"Ani, are you okay?" Riley whispers the question.

I'm not okay. I'm gutted. I'm humiliated. I'm wrecked in a way I didn't think possible.

Tears pool in my eyes, but I'm not giving them what they want. Or maybe I'm giving them exactly what they want. What I won't do is humiliate myself. It's time to retreat. He's made his choice, and he never lied to me. He always said he would pick his country over anything and anyone. "Go on."

My heart fucking breaks as he kisses her cheek and hands her the daisy, asking if she still wants to be his queen.

"Of course," she says and runs to join Hannah.

Then it's my turn to say good-bye. I can't believe I'm saying good-bye. My hands shake as I step off the dais. Every camera is on me as I face Luca. His expression is blank as he steps forward, his arms out.

I can't. I can't hug him and tell him everything will be fine. I can't do that cheek-kissing thing when I remember how this man really kisses. I can't thank him for spending the last few weeks making me fall in love with him.

He told me who he was and I didn't believe him. I made the entirely feminine mistake of thinking I could convince him to believe in love when he told me he didn't. I believed Jessica when she said she wouldn't make other women go through what she had. I believed the system would work when I have so much proof it doesn't.

I love him. That's the hard part. I love him with all my heart and even as I stand here, I know there's the chance that he'll go through all of this, get what he needs for Ralavia, and be back on my doorstep one day. Hell, the way he's looking at me, he might be up for a backdoor affair right now. Which when I think about it, that's what we already have. He might think he can have his cake and eat me, too.

"It was nice to meet you, Your Majesty," I say, and I hate how my voice wavers. But I stand tall as I turn away from him. He no longer matters. Luca made his choice and it wasn't me. I walk toward the women I've grown to love. "But you guys… I'm going to miss the hell out of you. Come here."

They surround me, each whispering their shock as they hug me. Even Shelby hugs me tight.

"What's happening?" she asks.

"I'm going home," I reply surely because I am. I'm not about to go to whatever hotel they want to sequester me at. They can sue me.

I pull back and wave at the camera. The whole set has gone an eerie silent.

"Anika, I need you to talk to the king," Joe says, waving his hand for the cameras to move into place. "We'll edit it to make it look like you knew what you were doing. You say good-bye to the king first, and then to your fellow contestants."

"I've said good-bye to him." I'm not going to be his poseable doll. I step out of my shoes. They'll shove me in the limo and someone will pack up my things. I suspect I can have my mom pick them up and have them back tonight.

"Ani," Luca begins.

I shake my head because I'm done pretending. "It was lovely to meet you. I hope you get everything you need, Your Majesty." I turn back to Joe. "As for knowing what I'm doing, boy, it's obvious I haven't."

The director's eyes go slightly hard. "No. You obviously don't know which side to come down on. I would have helped you, Anika. I would have given you everything you wanted, but you had to play things poorly."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He moves into my space, his voice going low. "It means I know what's been going on between you and Luca. I know he's been coming to your room at night, and he's been fucking you for weeks now. If you don't want that to get out and cause a scandal, you'll walk out of this room right now. I don't need your last shots. I can edit it all to make it look like your left with some kind of respect for yourself."

"What is going on?" Luca demands as he steps up.

"Absolutely nothing," Joe promises. "Get back to your place. Ms. Fox is leaving. Remember your contract when they put you in the limo, dear."

"Ani," Luca begins. "I'm sorry."

I'm sure he is, but he's made his bed and he'll lie in it alone. Or he'll take someone else and won't remember my name in a few days. The fact that Joe knows we've been sleeping together tells me Luca talked. It could only be him or me or Hans. I know it wasn't me, and Hans barely talks at all.

If it gets out that we were sleeping together during production, it could kill the project. Even as sad and angry as I am, I can't do that to him. He's a lonely man for a reason. He has to put his job above everyone else.

And that's why I would make a shitty queen. He's dodged a bullet, and maybe I have too.

It doesn't feel like it. It feels like I took one to the heart and I'm bleeding out for all to see. I need to get out of here. I need to get home so I can lick my wounds and figure out my next move because I'm almost surely fired, though they won't have to say that. They'll simply not find another job for me.

"Joe, this isn't over. I won't let it be," I say quietly.

"But it is and so are you. So go get in that limo and cry your little eyes out because it's the last time you'll be allowed anywhere close to this industry again," he whispers, but the threat is loud enough. "Do it or I'll have security take you out of here. If you don't, I can make sure your mother doesn't work either. You made your power play and you lost."

I hadn't even thought about my mom, though I know what she would tell me to do. Still, I need to regroup.

"I don't understand what's happening," Hannah says, looking to Joe. "I get the feeling Anika's being punished for something, and I don't like it."

I'm not bringing Hannah into my mess. I give her a smile. "It's all part of the journey. The king has made the decision that I wouldn't be a good queen. And he's right. Your Majesty, I wish you luck. You can't go wrong with any of these ladies. They're all great."

"I don't like it, either," Shelby says, her arms crossed over her chest. "Something's going on that we don't understand. I agree with Hannah. Anika's being punished for something, and that's bullshit."

Joe stares at her. "The king made his choice."

"He made the wrong one," Shelby says, shocking me.

"That isn't your decision to make, and you can be the next one out if you like," Joe says.

I'm not getting anyone else in trouble. I move over to Shelby, ignoring the pleading look Luca's giving to me. To understand. To forgive him.

I can do both. Eventually. But not tonight.

"Don't fight him. I think the rest of the group needs you. Take care of them," I say as I hug Shelby. "Don't be too big of a bitch, and watch out for Joe. Do you understand?"

I pull back and she nods. "I will."

And then I'm being escorted outside where the cameras film me getting into the limo. I spend the next two hours with the producer trying to get me to cry on film. I don't. He finally gives up and drops me off at the sequester hotel.

I walk into the lobby and Ivy, Heath, Harper, and Darnell are all there. It's so late they're the only ones beyond the production assistant who's supposed to show me to my room.

Screw that.

I take the hands of my friends and walk back out into the night.