9. Tori

9

TORI

Comforting warmth surrounded me, distracting me from the moans and groans of the dead outside.

A heavy weight laid across my legs and torso, and I cracked my eyes open. Nathan’s legs overlapped mine, and his arm was snug around my waist. The flannel Micah gave me to wear had slipped up, and I silently cursed myself for the comfortable white granny panties.

It was the apocalypse. I dressed for comfort, and by the way Nathan held me tightly, he didn’t mind it.

I turned my head, and my nose brushed against his. My heartbeat throbbed in my throat, and every nerve I had begged me to press forward and meet his lips with mine.

Nathan was heartbreakingly beautiful. Long eyelashes brushed his upper cheeks, and his pink lips were so full. The stubble on his cheeks and the patch of hair on his chin looked good on him. I couldn’t help but reach out and run my fingers through his blonde hair.

His blue eyes popped open, and amusement spread across his face in the form of a smirk. “See something you like, killer?”

I moved my arm back, but his hand caught my wrist before he pressed a kiss to my palm. A shiver of desire raced down me at the softness of his lips.

It had been so long since I’d been in a position like this, and even with the absolute chaos outside, I wanted to close the distance between us.

“I do,” I admitted in a whisper. “But I really shouldn’t.”

“And why not?” he murmured, breath fanning over my lips as he moved closer.

“Because I may not stay here, and if I let myself admire you the way I want to, I’ll only hurt myself.”

His pupils dilated before he pulled back and ran a hand down his face. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and pulled himself up with a groan. “I respect that, but we don’t know what the future’s going to be like. Life is short—especially now. I think it’s good to act on what you want in the moment.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I rubbed the sleepiness from my eyes, missing his warmth already as I climbed out of the bed and pulled the flannel down. It hit mid-thigh, so it was basically like a dress, and I felt comfortable wearing it around them.

Nathan led the way out of the room, and Calix and Micah stopped whatever discussion they were having and swept their gazes to us. Goosebumps formed on my skin the longer they stared, and it was Micah who broke the silence.

“Mornin’, darlin’. Want some soup?” His gaze dropped to his flannel and up again as the warmth of the room seeped into me from the wood stove.

“Yes, please.”

Calix scooped some chicken noodle soup into a bowl and passed it to me, careful not to touch my fingers as he did so.

“Thank you,” I murmured, holding the warm bowl close as a shiver worked through me. “It’s nice and warm.”

“We all need it with the temps out now.” He busied himself with making bowls for all of them, and then he placed a lid over the pot. “Winter’s going to be bad.”

Once everyone had their bowls, Micah, Nathan, and I went to the sofa and sat down while Calix sat on the recliner.

The warm bowl balanced on my lap as I spooned a bite and brought it to my mouth. The chicken broth coated my tongue, and the warmth spread down my throat. I sighed, feeling a small smile tug at the corners of my lips. “Thank you guys. For everything.” I met Calix’s gaze. “And I promise to follow all the rules you have in place to keep you comfortable.”

He tilted his head, and his green eyes seemed to scrutinize me before he gave a sharp nod. “Appreciated.”

Nathan set his bowl down on the end table with a sigh. “Time for coffee.” He slapped his legs and got up, grabbing his empty bowl and taking it into the kitchen area to place it in a red dish bin.

“Coffee?” I perked up, continuing to eat the soup. “I haven’t had coffee since six months after the apocalypse started.”

“Oh, killer. I can’t even imagine that,” he cooed, grabbing a coffee press from the cabinet and getting to work making four cups of coffee.

“We don’t have cream, but we have a little bit of sugar left,” Micah told me, and my chest fluttered.

“That’s amazing. Thank you!”

I finished my bowl at the same time Nathan finished making the coffees, and he gave me a mug and took my bowl with a wink.

The ceramic mug heated my palms as I cupped it and inhaled the coffee scent. “It smells so good.”

“Tastes even better,” Nathan mused as he sat back down. Micah grabbed his and Calix’s mugs from the counter and gave Calix’s his before sitting back down.

I brought the mug to my lips, and delicious hot coffee burned its way down my throat. My tongue darted across my lips. “This is so good. How do you still have coffee?”

“We go scavenging once a month to keep stock high,” Micah explained, sipping on his coffee.

“Makes sense.” I took another drink. “We lived off the land and only the land. Our store-bought pantry foods ended up lasting a year, but then we had to rely just on the land—which was fine since we knew how to do that anyway.”

“That sounds nice,” Nathan murmured.

“It was. I’m worried about the farm and our livestock,” I admitted.

The guys seemed to share a look I couldn’t decipher, and I bit down on my lower lip before getting to my feet, mug stashed between my hands, and walked toward the window.

The sun was high in the sky, sunbeams splashing through the room and lighting up the floors and walls. We’d slept well into the afternoon.

My body stiffened as the groans stole my attention once again. It was a tidal wave of dead, some rotten and some not, walking through to cover distance, and my skin crawled as I watched them bulldoze over most things outside to continue down their path.

They were oblivious to us up in the trees, though, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that.

A blurred movement caught my eye of Spencer waving her hands in the window of the treehouse across from us, and my lips quirked into a smile…until she started making inappropriate gestures.

She moved her hands up above her head a bit and acted like she was giving hand jobs while her tongue poked into her cheek.

My face heated as I shook my head and waved my hands to make her stop.

She cackled before stopping abruptly before covering her mouth as if she’d been caught.

Dad stepped in beside her on one side with a wince as Mom stood on her other side and waved at me.

I waved back with the mug in hand, and Spencer pointed to it with a pout, making me giggle.

“What’s funny, darlin’?” Micah came up beside me, waving at my family in the window.

Spencer’s mouth dropped as she gestured to her shirt then Micah and me, making me glance down and realize I wore his flannel and Micah was shirtless.

I smacked a hand to my cheek and glared at her, but she just laughed. Dad was glaring at Micah, while Mom gave me a reassuring smile.

“Oh my gosh.”

“They’re a lively bunch,” Nathan said as he stepped on my other side and waved.

Dad turned his glare to him while Mom and Spencer smiled back at him with a wave.

I spun around with one last wave and strode toward the couch. “Sorry. Spencer instigates things.”

“I know. We all saw her lovely hand gestures.” Nathan chuckled, and I groaned as I sipped on the coffee now that it was warm enough not to burn off my tastebuds.

“Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be.” Micah grinned. “It’s wholesome to see a full family interacting.”

I smiled and stared down into the half-drank dark coffee. “Thank you.”

“I’m honestly surprised you’re so sweet having to live around the other two for so long,” Nathan said as he sat down beside me and crossed his arms behind his head. “After the shit Daisy said to you…”

Micah’s eyes darkened, while Calix’s brows scrunched together.

“I can’t take complete credit for being sweet.” A weight pressed against my chest as my hand rose to rest on my throat. “I avoided them both like the plague. It was difficult at first, but I just spent most of my time outside with Kovu or holed up in my room.”

“You were really with him for two years?” Nathan asked, and I nodded.

“How long have you known Daisy?” Micah took a swig of his coffee.

“My whole life.” I stared into the darkness in my cup with a sigh. “Her mom and mine were best friends before they had us. I trusted her with everything, and when I caught them in bed together, everything I thought I knew shattered.”

“They’re disgusting,” Calix spat the words, making my eyes snap to his as he stood up and took his coffee mug to the red bin for the dirty dishes before spinning around again. His eyes pierced mine. “I can’t imagine the pain you must’ve gone through, but you don’t have to be around them if you don’t want to be.”

“Kind of have to,” I murmured, glancing back down at my mug. “Not like I want them dead or anything. And survival chances are better with numbers, so…”

“We can limit your interaction at least,” Micah offered, and I nodded.

“They had kept their distance too throughout the years. I’m not even sure why they started to try speaking to me after so long.” I winced and brought the mug to my lips before gulping the rest of the liquid.

Calix came over and reached his gloved hand out to me, and Nathan and Micah froze. “I’ll take your cup.”

Smiling, I placed it in his hand as my fingers met the latex and pulled back. “Thanks.”

He gave me a small grunt before turning around and busying himself in the kitchen, and Micah and Nathan continued to stare at him.

“What is it?”

“He just took a mug that had your lips on it,” Nathan murmured. “He won’t even go near ours unless he’s sprayed it first.”

“He has gloves on though,” I pointed out, and Micah chuckled.

“The same sentiment applies, darlin’.”

The corners of my lips tugged upward. “That’s sweet.”

“It’s somethin’,” Micah mused, crossing his arms over his chest.

The rest of the day passed quickly. Micah had been checking over the interior of the treehouse, Nathan continued to go to the window and overlook the situation outside, and Calix had cleaned the entire area before going into his room and closing the door behind him.

I had asked all three of them if I could help, but they assured me they had it under control, which left me with my butt parked on the sofa, dozing off every few minutes.

It was unnerving how the commotion of the zombies outside had become a normal background noise not even after a day, but I tried not to dwell on it. Instead, I dwelled on Kovu.

My sweet, perfect horse that I had my entire life.

What happened to him had been horrific, but I knew we did the right thing, even if it made me feel like I wasn’t going to recover. I pressed my palm to the center of my chest and hoped to take the pressure off of the dull throb where my heart was. Losing him hurt. It hurt worse than anything else I’d been through, and I hadn’t even been able to properly put him to rest.

“Hey, darlin’?” Micah’s raspy voice had me whipping around to see him standing next to the sofa with a medium-sized box.

“What’s that?” I tossed the blanket off my lap and walked over to him. The chilly air of the treehouse gave me goosebumps after getting out from underneath the fluffy blanket.

He set it on the floor next to the sofa and opened it up to reveal a ton of books. “I’ve had this for a while now. Not sure if you’re much of a reader, but it could give you something to do.”

I gasped and dropped to my knees before running my fingers over the three piles of neatly stacked books within it. “May I?”

“Of course. It’s why I brought it out.”

I dove into it, pulling out the different books and setting them beside me as I looked through them. “I love reading,” I gushed, loving the feel of the books in my hands. “But before the apocalypse, I had just finished transferring my physical library over to my kindle—big mistake, obviously. My kindle died two months into this mess. I’d just tried to save space by transferring to digital books, but I’ve missed falling into stories so much. I have one series still in paperback at the ranch, but I left it. I’ve always been a sucker for cozy romantic mystery stories, though I usually read…some other genres.”

He didn’t say anything, and I glanced up to find his honey brown eyes glistening with tears.

My heart thudded hard in my chest as I put the books down and climbed to my feet. “Micah…”

“I’m fine.” He jerked back before running a hand down his face. “Fucking hell. I don’t know why that affected me so much.”

I glanced between him and the books before it clicked. “They belonged to someone special to you. Didn’t they?”

He nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah. They did.”

I bit my lip and glanced down at the piles. The books were in great condition, and while the books were stories I’d be interested in, it felt wrong to read them if it caused such an emotional reaction in him.

“I appreciate you trying to help cure the boredom, but I don’t think I should be reading these,” I decided, crouching down and carefully putting the books back into the box.

I reached for the last book, when his calloused hand curled around my wrist.

“Stop, please,” he rasped, and I froze. “I brought them out because I want you to read them.”

“But, Micah…” I looked up into his eyes and gasped at the determination in them. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not hurtin’ me. You’re helpin’ me heal.” His grip loosened as his gaze dropped down between my legs where I had them spread, showing off my panties. “Sorry.” His gaze shot back up to my face, and he blushed. “Didn’t mean to look.”

“Don’t apologize,” I murmured, heat streaking through me as I closed my legs together. “I just don’t want to upset you with the books.”

He let me go and got up, raking his fingers through his hair with a sigh. “Sit with me?”

I grabbed the last book and put it in the box before I sat down with him on the couch.

He heaved out another breath and scratched his beard. “The books are my late fiancée’s. She was an avid reader. Worked in a library even.”

My chest tightened, and I reached over to grab his hand. “She had great taste in books.”

He laced his fingers through mine and smiled at me. “That she did.”

I squeezed his hand tight. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head and tightened his grip on my hand too. “It’s been eight years now. I was twenty-six.”

“If you want to talk about what happened, I’d like to hear it, but if it’s too painful, I understand.”

His eyes welled with tears as he stared at me. “Fuck, darlin’.”

I didn’t know why, but I let go of his hand and scooted closer before wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him. “You don’t have to say anything.”

His arms wound around me in an instant, and my heart swelled as he buried his head in my neck and breathed.

We sat like that for a few minutes in silence, and I heard the creak of the floorboards behind us a couple of times before it went away.

“Car accident,” he choked out. “I lost both my fiancée, Kelly, and my parents in one go. They were out getting snacks for a family movie night, and I was working late.”

I held him close, and he did the same. “That’s horrific. Did you have any other family to help you through it?”

“My sister was there. We grieved together. Kelly was her best friend. She respected my decision to move into the middle of nowhere, and I respected her decision to move to another country with her husband three years before the virus.” His voice cracked. “Haven’t heard from her since that first day, though.”

“I wish I could take that pain away.”

I knew there wasn’t much I could say to help the situation. What happened was tragic, but I couldn’t change it.

“Honestly, darlin’? This hug is the best source of pain relief I’ve felt in years.”

“I’ll hug you whenever you need it.” I held onto him until I found myself drifting to sleep in his arms.

“Shit, Calix! Just trade me for the blue property,” Nathan whined, and I stirred from my sleep.

Calix scoffed. “Not happening. I landed on it. It’s mine.”

“No fair!”

“Very fair, actually. It’s literally part of the game.”

“Micah usually trades with me.”

The chest my head laid on vibrated as Micah chuckled. “Sorry. Little preoccupied to play.”

“I know, and I’m jealous.” Nathan huffed as I shifted up and opened my eyes with a yawn.

“How long was I out?”

“Only an hour,” Micah whispered, keeping his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned back against him.

Calix and Nathan sat on the floor, a pillow under their bottoms, and played a board game.

“I love that game,” I gushed. “That’s awesome that you have it.”

Calix’s eyes lit up as he stared at me. “I love it too. My mom used to play with me every night. It was our favorite thing to do.”

“That’s the sweetest way to bond. My family and I had game nights growing up. After everything happened, we just kind of stopped.”

Micah’s hand moved from around my shoulders to my back where he began rubbing soothing motions over it. “He has to meticulously clean every piece of the game after too.”

“Also something Mom and I bonded over,” Calix retorted before taking his turn. “Things were definitely a lot simpler before the apocalypse though.”

“Simpler?” Nathan snorted, grabbing the dice and rolling them after Calix finished moving his piece on the board. “Nah. I think it’s simpler now. Back then, we had to pay bills and go to work. Now, we’re just living.”

“No. We’re surviving,” Calix corrected him. “We don’t look forward to much except not dying now.”

“I don’t know. I look forward to seeing all of you now. It’s not that bad.” Micah shrugged.

“So many people lost their lives the first month or two when the virus spread because they lost their prescription meds,” Calix stated as he collected money from Nathan.

“Sally’s best friend was diabetic. She’d had a stash of insulin, but it ran out quick, and she didn’t make it longer than three months with us,” Nathan added with a frown.

“The government collapsed faster than most of us had expected it to,” Calix added with a shiver. “I hate uncertainty, and the CDC was supposed to be the thing we could rely on to keep things under control with the virus, but they failed.”

“That damn virus,” Nathan grumbled, cursing under his breath as Calix landed on a new property to buy. “It should’ve never been possible. The shit we’re seeing now isn’t possible. It’s like Hell on Earth.”

“The virus never made any logical sense to start with.” Calix’s eyes darkened as he grabbed the property title. “Transmission through a bite or infected saliva into an open wound makes sense enough, but the way the zombies know how to spread it is what gets me.”

“And once bitten, there’s no cure.” Micah shifted next to me before pulling me against his chest to wrap his arms comfortably around me. “The outbreak happened fast, but the internet hung in there for seven months, the news maybe a week, and nothing about a cure was even discussed.”

“We know so little about the virus,” I murmured, a chill zipping down my spine as I snuggled against Micah.

“All we know is it’s twenty-four hours after the bite for death, and reanimation is twenty to thirty seconds after death,” Calix said, looking pale as they took a break from the game.

“Gotta destroy the brain to kill it, just like the video games,” Nathan added with a groan that mimicked the ones outside.

“And light the bodies on fire if we’re around them for longer than a few hours.” Calix adjusted his mask with wince. “Unlike the media representation of zombies, the real ones don’t eat anything. They bite to infect and move on. I don’t know which one is worse, honestly.”

“These ones,” Micah answered without a beat. “More infected numbers are never a good thing.”

“Can’t argue there.”

“Scientists couldn’t figure it out.” I shook my head with a frown. “I’m convinced it’s more supernatural than anything else at this point.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Micah grunted.

“Corpses walking around still after three years?” Nathan flattened his hands behind him on the floor and glanced back. “I’m sold with it being something science can’t understand.”

“I don’t like it no matter what the origin is,” Calix grumbled, rubbing his arms. “I’ll get started on dinner. Nathan, can you clean the board and pieces?”

Nathan shot him a grin and nodded before grabbing a purple spray bottle and cloth out of a plastic bin under the end table beside him. He sprayed the cloth and wiped everything carefully before putting it back in the box.

“What did you do before all this, killer?” Nathan asked as he got to his feet and set the board game on the end table before sinking down on the sofa beside me.

“I was a student in my last year of my agriculture degree to help with the farm.” Nathan’s leg rested against mine, and I found myself pushing my leg into his for the warmth. “Jay wanted me to get a business degree so I could work at his parents’ firm, but I didn’t like the city much. The only reason I’d been there in the first place was because of college.”

“Sounds like you did what you wanted.” Micah rubbed his beard. “That’s good.”

“I enjoyed it even with Jay’s constant nagging about it.” Memories of Jay trying to convince me to work at the firm flooded my brain. “He and Daisy had that in common though. She took business with him and ended up with a work study at his parents’ firm. I assumed that was why they’d been getting closer that last year.”

“He’s an idiot.” Nathan scrunched his face in disgust. “You’re amazing.”

“You don’t even know me that well.” My lips curved into an amused smile.

“I know enough.” He shrugged, landing a warm hand on my leg. “And what I know is amazing.”

“Can’t argue there,” Micah murmured next to my ear.

They were completely unbothered by each other showing me affection, and I couldn’t help but wonder why—not that I was complaining.

“Thank you both. What did you do before all this?” I waved my hand in a circle before Nathan caught it with the hand that was on my thigh and rested our joined hands back on my lap.

“I worked security for a private company,” Nathan said. “I was actually working a charity event in the city when the virus hit the news. I made it back to the homestead, but I lost my entire group on the way there one way or the other. Three others survived the way out of the city with me, but we went in two different directions at the end.”

“That sounds intense,” I mumbled, soaking in the warmth between them. “How old are you?”

“Thirty.”

“What did you do when you were living out here before this?” I asked Micah.

“Lumberjack. I worked for a company that came and got the lumber.”

“Explains the muscles,” I muttered to myself, and they chuckled. “What about you, Calix?”

The guys beside me stiffened, but Calix kept stirring the pot on the wood stove like it hadn’t affected him.

“Corporate work from home, and I’m twenty-seven.”

“Only a year older than me,” I pointed out.

“Are we too old for you?” Nathan pouted, and I giggled.

“No. None of you are,” I answered honestly, and the room seemed to warm up as I wiggled between them.

“Dinner’s done,” Calix called out, and I scrambled up from the sofa and dashed over toward the food as I left the two chuckling men behind me.

What was wrong with me? Had it really been that long that I’m soaking up any affection thrown my way? Or was I actually connecting with them—and did they feel the same way I did?