29. Finn

Finn

A smile breaks over Sam’s face.

“Good,” he says, before leaning down to kiss me. It’s slow and searching, and I melt into it. I know that I shouldn’t. I know that I told myself I was going back to California at the end of this— but .

But Sam wants me. But I want him

And right now, with him kissing me, I realize I’ve wanted him since the very first day I saw him, looking through his Instagram and finding pictures of him online.

I want him, and he just offered to move to California for me. My analytical, planning mind—the one that can’t ever just enjoy the moment—is already racing at a thousand miles per hour. Is it ridiculous to even entertain the notion that this could happen? That Sam and I could be together? Go after this thing?

Should Sam move to the west coast?

No. He loves it here—his family is here. Brett and the other guys. And didn’t he say in an interview that he wanted to finish his career with the Vipers?

And I’m starting to love it here. Not the snow or the cold, necessarily, but the atmosphere. The fact that despite the blistering wind this morning, I still saw a man out shoveling the sidewalk, just to make sure people could get through.

“We should—” I start, but Sam cuts me off, pressing his lips firmly into mine.

“Don’t have to figure it out right now,” he murmurs, his hands slipping up the back of my blouse. I gasp when they touch bare skin—his fingers are cool from being on the ice. “

Right now,” he breathes, “I just want to get you back to my place, okay?”

“Okay,” I say.

Okay .

We don’t have to figure it out right now.

When we get back to his apartment, I do something I haven’t done since college. I turn around and push him back, heart thudding as I drop to my knees.

“Finn?” he asks, voice choked, clearly already understanding what I intend to do. Just like with missionary, I’ve never been a big fan of something like this. I like to be the one in control, with the power. But here and now—knowing Sam the way I do, I want to be on my knees for him.

The sound he makes when I take him in my mouth is enough to make my stomach turn molten. His hand skates around my neck, then up to the back of my head, his touch feather light. When I look up, he meets my eyes, then groans and drops his head back, like it’s too much to watch me. Like he’s looking into the sun.

I haven’t done this in forever, but the mechanics come right back to me—sucking and working the base of him with my mouth, getting into the same rhythm I feel when he’s inside me.

A sudden and shocking thrill of lust rolls through me, and I feel myself get wet. The thought of him inside me while I have his cock in my mouth is overwhelmingly sexy. When I look up again, I wish I’d had the foresight to strip him down before dropping to my knees, but there’s also something about this—Sam so caught off guard, his coat hanging off one shoulder because he was in the middle of removing it—that turns me on more.

By the time he comes, his body shuddering, I pull another first—I let him come in my mouth, then I meet his eyes and swallow it down.

“Fucking hell,” Sam mutters, reaching down and gathering me into his arms. I wipe my mouth with the back of my sleeve, my entire body hot and feverish. He slips a cool hand into my pants, and it’s like we’re teenagers—acting crazy. Not even taking our clothes off. We’re doing everything in the opposite order.

“You’re so wet for me,” he murmurs, dropping his forehead against my shoulder with a thud . He pants against me as his fingers slide up, pushing against my opening before sliding back down to my clit. He circles them once, quickly, and my knees give out.

Of course, Sam catches me. And he carries me to his bed.

This time, everything comes off before he touches me again.

***

“Come on,” Sam says, his hand warm on my forearm. There’s a huge, sprawling goody-goody smile on his face that I can’t look away from. “You know you want to sing, Finn.”

“I most certainly do not .”

When Sam asked if I wanted to come to a New Year’s Party at Devon and Lola’s place, I didn’t think it was actually going to be a party . I thought it was going to be the kind of adult get-together where you drink wine together, laugh, and talk about the state of the world.

But that’s not the case—around us, people are writhing, dancing, laughing, the noise volume in the dangerous territory. On the stage, Devon is doing karaoke, while Lola laughs and points at the crowd with a spatula.

I’ve never been to Devon and Lola’s place before, but it’s not surprising to me that it’s huge—professionally decorated and festive. There are fairy lights everywhere, along with glittering balloons, Polaroid cameras, and photo props. When we first got here, Sam pulled me tight against him, held one of the cameras up, and snapped a picture of the two of us. Later, Fallon dropped into the seat next to me.

“I knew it,” she says, “welcome in.”

“What—no, I—” I’d immediately started to blush, thinking I needed to make sure Sam and I kept it quiet.

But Fallon held a finger to her lips, smiling at me. “You guys are good together. And you won’t catch us saying anything about it until you’re ready.”

Now, Sam links his fingers between mine and starts to tug me toward the stage. I’m laughing and gently tugging at him, but before we make it there, Devon’s karaoke song finishes and the screen flashes to the minute-long countdown.

“Oh, shit—” Sam laughs, spinning me around so I’m facing him. “It’s already midnight?”

“I guess,” I laugh, “but we agreed no midnight kiss, remember?”

“You said that,” he says, smiling warmly down at me and bringing me flush to him. “But I didn’t know we had a vote.”

“I guess I’m open to hearing your case.”

He leans down, nuzzling his face against mine. We’re near the edge of the room, shrouded in darkness, and people are so busy focusing on the countdown that nobody is looking at us.

“TEN... NINE... EIGHT...”

His other hand finds my waist, skating over my hip, his fingers running along the smooth fabric of my dress.

"SEVEN... SIX... FIVE..."

I should step back. We’re in public, and we haven’t even talked about where this is going yet, beyond admitting we want to pursue it. Sam moves forward, pressing his chest flush against mine. I’m struck again by just how large of a person he is.

“FOUR... THREE... TWO...”

I don't move, and Sam whispers, “What’s the verdict?”

“ONE... HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

I’m nodding, and the room erupts in cheers. Couples kiss around us, and Sam presses his lips against mine, his hands traveling around to my lower back, drawing me up against him until there’s no space left between us.

“Happy New Year, Coach,” he says quietly, the words soft between us when he pulls back.

“Happy New Year,” I say, and it feels like more than a phrase—it feels like we’re ushering in a new era. Sam and I are together now. Everything is changing.

And I’m not even sure if I want to return to California. I’m doing the one thing I said I never would, following the Hallmark-esque path of leaving the big city and falling in love.

Later, as Brett leads everyone in a very off-key rendition of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” I find myself wedged between Lola and Ellie on the couch.

We laugh as the guys link their arms together, attempting a kick line.

“Having fun?” Lola asks, nudging me. She’s radiant, wearing a skin-tight, sparkling silver dress. Her matching eyeshadow has drifted down onto her cheeks, which are merrily flushed. She seems like the kind of person who’s seeking out fun.

“This is completely unprofessional,” I say, but I can't stop smiling.

“ Good.” She hands me a glass of champagne. For a moment, I wish I could look through her eyes and see me the way she does, know what I look like from her perspective. I remember moments in the box, when I desperately tried to keep myself from becoming friends with this woman.

“You deserve a night off, Finn,” she tells me. “And for what it’s worth…you guys are cute together. And I’m professionally qualified to say that.”

I wince, but return my attention to the guys. Apparently everyone here already knows that we’re together. I can only hope they really do keep it to themselves until we figure everything out.

At the front of the room, Sam is attempting a spin move that nearly sends Brett into a massive Christmas tree. Fallon bursts out laughing on the other side of the room. If I was in California, I might be networking right now. Attending some New Year’s party with the intention of finding new clients. I wouldn’t drink, wouldn’t have worn the dress I’m wearing. And I definitely wouldn’t let Lola grab my hand, pull me to my feet, and drag me to the middle of the dance floor with her.

But I’m not in California. I’m in Burlington, Vermont. Sam Braun wants to be with me, and I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with him.

“This is so amazing,” Lola laughs, her hand loose on my wrist.

Slowly, a smile spreads over my face.

“Yeah, it is,” I return, moving my hips. We keep dancing, and eventually the guys join us. Eventually the music will die, and everyone will go home. But for now, I shake my ass and laugh and watch as Fallon and Lola grind together.

For once, I just let myself have fun.