26

H e said dress comfortably, but what level of comfy are we going for here? Athletic-comfy? Absolute home-comfy? Cute-comfy? Not actually comfy but just public appropriate casual? UGH!

I settle on a happy medium and wear my grey, flared leggings, a hot pink, cropped tee, and a powder pink, oversized crewneck sweatshirt. I finish off the look with little messy space buns and my white tennis shoes and I'll be ready for anything.

I'm finishing up an assignment when there's a knock on the door. I scurry to the door to open it as fast as I can. Holy shit. I wonder how long it will take for the sight of him to stop knocking the air from my lungs.

As I swing open the door, I can't help but take inventory of the man in front of me. Dark grey jogger sweats and a black V-neck T-shirt that barely contains his arms. The T-shirt is also failing miserably at hiding how incredibly toned his body is. I'm not talking lean-ripped; I'm talking THICK and ripped. He's built like a tree trunk but with muscles. Does that even make sense? Even his hair is a bit disheveled and OMG he's holding a bouquet of rainbow daises.

"See something you like?" he asks with a breathtaking smile on his face, but I still can't make words.

"These are for you." He chuckles. "I got you a vase for these; I didn't think to ask last time because it was a surprise, so I decided to just be prepared this time."

Finally coming to my senses, I accept the adorable flowers. "Thank you so much; these are perfect. Yeah, I didn't have one, but now my little rose can live with the daisies," I say, rearranging them and discarding the solo cup.

"This is really so sweet. Thank you, Roman," I say, trying not to blush all over.

"You're very welcome. I've never courted or dated anyone, so you'll have to tell me if I do something wrong," he says with absolute certainty as I just stare and nod for a minute.

"Welp, what are we up to?" I ask.

"I hope you don't mind staying in; I have a surprise for you back at my place. Good surprises only this time, I promise."

Nodding, I collect my things. "That sounds wonderful."

As I'm locking the door to our dorm, my watch goes off. "Oh, crap, let me take my vitamins real quick. I swear, without my alarm, I'd forget them," I say with a giggle. "You can come back in with me so you don't get attacked by a crazed fan or something in the hall. Speaking of, you're lucky you haven't been spotted yet. You'll be signing autographs forever when it happens."

The sound of his half-laughter shoots through me. I wonder what his real, full-body laugh sounds like. I bet it sounds like magic.

As I'm grabbing my vitamins out of the cabinet, I manage to knock the old bottle off the shelf, and it rolls across the floor to Roman's feet. He bends to pick it up for me, but there's a borderline scary look on his face.

"What is this?" he asks, his voice low and dangerous, like the day I met him.

"Um, you're going to think I'm crazy," I say with a half-hearted laugh.

"Better than what's going through my mind right now. What is this?"

"Okay, um, I don't know what you think it is but it's just the last bottle, and the last multivitamin that my dad bought me before I lost them. It's just a weird little thing I couldn't part with. Why are you looking at it like that?" I ask, the anxiety now rising in my chest.

"Do you know what this is?"

"Is that a trick question? I just told you what it is."

"This is not a vitamin of any kind."

"What?" I whisper. "Wh-what is it?"

"Leera, this is poison."

The anxiety is immediately extinguished while shock and confusion make themselves at home in my body.

"Th-that can't be true. Those are the vitamins I took my whole life. I'm sorry, Roman, but you have to be mistaken."

"Leera, look at me. This is a poison called wolfsbane. In small doses, it prevents someone's wolf from surfacing. In large doses it can be fatal."

The room is spinning, and I can't get enough oxygen to my lungs. I'm just staring at Roman, but I can see the gears turning in his mind when he says, "How long have you been out of vitamins?"

"J-just a couple weeks. I-I couldn't find them online anywhere, so I j-just bought a popular multivitamin."

"Your parents knew," he says so quietly I'm sure he's actually talking to himself before he lifts his head and stares directly at me, "your parents knew."

"My parents knew wh . . ." I trail off when my mind finally catches up with Roman's, and I can no longer control my body as I crumble to the floor.

"My parents knew." I want to scream at him and call him a liar. I want to tell him my parents would never do that to me, but I feel the truth in my soul. How the hell else would I live my entire life without knowing I'm a werewolf?

I'm the one talking to myself now, "My parents knew I was a wolf and they poisoned me my whole life. No. That's not possible. My parents loved me. They would never p-poison me." I'm trying so hard to take deep gulps of oxygen but it's just not enough.

"My parents knew I was a wolf and they poisoned me my whole life!" I'm yelling now. "Who were they? Were they human? Were they wolves?"

I feel the spiraling fear seeping into my bones when a warm body nearly completely envelops me in an embrace that I can feel from my toes to my soul. I've never been touched like this by anyone, let alone a giant man. My brain is telling me it's a little fast but my body and my heart wish he'd never let go.

"Shhhhh sunshine, it's going to be okay. No matter what we find, or what happens for the rest of my life, I promise, it will be okay. I'll make sure of it," he says while rubbing my back and soothing the panic from my body.

I feel that strange feeling under my skin again.

"Roman," I gasp.

He looks at me with concern and compassion.

"I thought I felt something under my skin. It was a calm feeling, like when a cat rubs against your legs."

He squeezes me tighter, and I'm pretty sure I would die happy if we stayed just like this for the rest of my existence.

"That's your wolf. She's either trying to calm you, or she's trying to nuzzle me and my wolf. Which means she's definitely waking up from the sedation she's been under for, well, forever.

It's such a surreal thing to realize your body is not just your own and it's also not the only form you possess.

I don't know how long we sit like that, not saying a word, just holding each other and soaking each other in when I speak up, "Hey Roman?"

"Yeah, Sweetheart?"

"Can we pretend this didn't happen for a little while and go about our evening? We can figure this out later, can't we? I'm hungry," I pout.

It's not just the hunger that needs to postpone this moment. This is just too much information. I can't wait to meet my wolf, but after the pain from last time, it's also terrifying.

I can't wait to meet you, but I'm scared. I'm sure werewolves are supposed to be strong and brave, but you'll have to be patient with me. I tell my wolf, hoping she can hear me. Last time there was no response, but this time I feel the same calming brush under my skin. I allow myself a small smile at her compassion.

"Of course we can," and just like that, he's pulling me to my feet and towards the door. "Is it okay with you if I take this bottle to Jeanine—the healer—,to look at?"

I just nod because I still can't believe I might have been poisoned my whole life. If this is true, my parents poisoned me my entire life. The only people I had in the whole world. The people I thought about every day. The people who knew I was a werewolf and never told me. Did I even know them? I know they loved me, though . . . right?

When we pull up to their home, I'm plagued by flashbacks of my last visit. I don't think I'll ever get used to going to this giant townhouse.

I really hope she doesn't show up again.

As if sensing my concern, Roman says, "She won't be here. I promise."

"Are we going to be talking about that?" I ask timidly.

"Yes, let's go up and let me surprise you. Then we can return to our conversation, and you can keep asking me anything you'd like."

Again, I just nod and allow him to lead me inside.

As we walk through the door, we stand in the entry for a moment while he discards his wallet onto the side table and adds his keys to a hook with an R above it. I giggle when I notice they all have their own key and someone has put them on the wall in order to say, B E A R D S. "That was Benny," Roman says with a huff of a laugh.

As we enter their living space, I still can't fully comprehend the enormity of it. Everything is high ceilings, a full wall of windows, an open floor plan, and the works, and it's totally man-cave-esque. I didn't even notice how beautiful it was in here. Last time I was here, I was whisked in while in terrible pain. Then on my way out, we had the incident with India. I never really got to just look around.

The living room is to my right and it's kind of set up like a pit. You have to take two steps down to get into the space, then the entire left edge of the recessed room is a giant black suede couch. There are ottomans throughout the room, in case someone wants to kick their feet up or use it as a table. The only other thing in the room is the largest television I've ever seen. Can it even be considered a TV at that size? It looks like a movie theater screen. I wonder how they can even see what they're watching with all the windows. Seriously, the entire far wall ahead of me is nothing but a giant window overlooking the small city below.

To the left of the living room is a massive, white marble kitchen island with barstools wrapped around it, making it look like some kind of gateway to a kitchen straight out of a dream kitchen magazine. I can't see much of it from here, but there are cabinets and doors all over.

Further to the left is a hallway, a sleek open staircase, and the stairs we used to get to the rooftop.

Benny reaches us first, bringing me back to the moment. He's smiling and bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Hey, Leera! Welcome back! We'll make ourselves scarce, but just holler if you need us to gang up on the old grump, yeah?" He takes off just in time to avoid what would have been a smack to the back of his head from Roman, making me giggle again.

The twins pass us next heading out the door, saluting Roman as they go. "They're on security detail tonight to ensure there are no uninvited guests."

I turn to Roman raising my eyebrow and asking, "Why are they on security duty? Don't you have actual security guards or something?"

"Of course we do, but she's gotten past them before, and I want to be certain it's not a problem."

Slate is perched on the barstool at the end of the island, focused on a tablet in his hands, but he lifts an arm up in an awkward, backward wave.

Andrei is sitting on one of the ottomans in the living room, feigning casual indifference, but there's a strange look on his face, and his body language is tense. I feel a different kind of tug towards him that I still don't understand. Seeming to notice it as well, he looks in our direction, and we make eye contact for only a moment before he quickly bolts from the room, leaving me feeling like I did something wrong. Werewolves are weird.

Roman is still leading me through their home while my thoughts wander to all I've learned today. We reach the door to the roof, and my excitement returns.

"You seemed to really enjoy it up here the other night, so I added a few things," he tells me almost sheepishly. I've never seen such a giant, gorgeous man look bashful, but I kind of love it.

I'm probably smiling like an idiot while he practically drags me up the stairs. He stops on the top steps and spins around so fast that it causes me to fumble for the handrails. "Will you . . . will you close your eyes?" he asks. I smile and nod, closing my eyes and leaving the smile on my face.

In the darkness, I hear him open the door. He grabs my hand and slowly pulls me onto the roof, taking one, two, three, four steps towards the center, I think.

He comes to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. The intimate gesture startles me at first. Once I feel the tingles of our contact, I relax into him, and it releases a whole bunch of butterflies in my belly.

He leans in a bit, resting his chin on top of my head, and all the butterflies lose their minds.

"Open your eyes," he whispers with his smooth yet gravelly voice, causing a wave of goosebumps to rush down my arms.

I slowly follow his instructions, not at all prepared for the sight before me.

I gasp in shock, both hands flying up to cover my mouth while my body whips around to face him.

"You did all this for me?" I ask with tears in my eyes.

"I did. The guys helped, but yes, it's for you."

I turn back around to take in every single detail and commit it to memory.

The rooftop has been transformed into a magical escape from reality. There are twinkle lights strung all over the place. There's a giant white screen by the outdoor furniture for watching movies. There's a pizza buffet and a coffee bar.

Their townhouse is in the perfect neighborhood, on top of a hill, just outside of town. There are other houses, but they each have their own giant lot. If I threw a rock, I don't think I could hit another house. Overlooking one side of the roof are little lights scattered against the dark expanse of land, showing the small city below. Off the other side of the roof is all wooded acreage. I bet the men let their wolves loose in there.

"Roman . . . this . . . it's too much." I say, shaking my head, still in awe of all of the thought he put into this.

This is crazy.

"Nonsense. I found it on the Pinterest," he says as he drops a tiny kiss onto my forehead, and I melt into a puddle at his feet. "Do you like it? Did I do it wrong?"

Slowly shaking my head, "This is perfect," I say quietly.

He leads me over to where the pizza and coffee are all spread out for us to enjoy. There's also hot cocoa, which I hadn't noticed before.

"I love food and all, but this is a lot, even for me," I joke.

"Whatever we don't eat won't last the night. Depending on the day, one of the guys could eat all this on their own," he says with a small chuckle.

He hands me a plate and picks up one for himself. We both pile them with pizza and sweets and carry them over to the large couch. After setting our plates on the table, we head back for drinks.

"I know the other night you didn't want coffee because it would keep you up, so I made decaf. That way, if you really wanted the coffee, you could have it."

This man thought of everything, and it's definitely not helping the butterfly situation in my middle.

"That was so incredibly sweet of you to remember. Thank you," I say lightly as I try to keep the tears from reaching my eyes. Failing miserably, I lower my chin so he doesn't see.

Of course he notices, though. He grabs my chin with just his thumb and pointer finger and slowly lifts my eyes back up to his. "What did I do? Are you okay?" he asks, his voice full of concern, one green eye, and one blue, searching mine.

"Absolutely nothing. Everything is more perfect than I ever could have imagined. I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed. I only ever had my parents, and they loved me, but it's like, even though they loved me completely and I was always happy, I don't know . . . it just . . . it just feels like I never actually knew what being cared for by someone else could feel like. I didn't feel this overwhelming sense of . . ."

How do I explain that I thought I was happy and loved my whole life, but now I don't feel like I know anything? When Roman holds me, hell, when he touches me, the warmth and the rightness that I feel . . . …what do I call that? It's way too soon to say or even think about the L-word, but even this feels like more.

"And now, with my vitamins, I feel like I don't know anything anymore. I wasn't prepared for this much emotion."

His eyes soften, and his body relaxes, like he was worried that I was about to run.

"I guess if you want, I could tone it down some more and we could slow down to a glacial speed," he replies with a cocky grin on his face, causing me to giggle a little through my tears.

"You'll do no such thing. I'm already loving this new level of pampering you've introduced me to." I say with a smirk of my own.

We finish making our drinks in comfortable silence and make our way back to our food. We sit, and I can't help but marvel at the view, the company, and the twinkling lights.

Am I in some kind of coma where I'm living out some fantasy rom-com? Was I hit by a car or something?

"So," he begins hesitantly, swallowing his pizza in a dramatic gulp. "Ask me all your questions. I'll answer them all. Complete honesty."

Nodding, I also swallow my pizza and set down my plate of food, dusting off my hands. I take a deep breath. "Let's start with her. What was that the other night? What are you to her?" I hate feeling vulnerable over someone I barely know, but I don't have control over my feelings towards him.

"Okay, I promised you complete honesty, so please just hear me out. Let me get it all out, and if there are more questions, you can ask them, and as long as I know the answer, I'll provide it. Okay?"

"Okay," I say, feeling small and skeptical.

"Her name is India. Her father and mine have been friends since their youth. They both came from upper-class families, but where her father grew to become our king's advisor, my father never obtained a title. I rose to power to be the commander of the king's army. For whatever reason, our fathers always wanted us to be together, but I didn't want any part of it. I found my mate. Her name was Imogen, and all I wanted was a life with her. She wasn't noble or high-class, and that infuriated my father. She was born in the village, and she had the most amazing heart. We didn't care what anyone said. So, we made ourselves a home and were starting our lives together . . ." He pauses, and I'm not sure I'm ready for what he has to tell me if it hurts him like this.

"Roman, you don't have t—" I start.

"Yes, I do. You need to know everything. You need to know who I am and why I am the way I am sometimes. The sooner, the better."

I just nod and take his giant hand in mine.

"We were just starting our lives together. She was pregnant with our first child. She was crazy; she wanted as many kids as we could have. I was called away for an emergency involving the army one day. I promised I'd be right back. I wasn't even gone four hours when I knew something was wrong and raced home. She was murdered."

I'm openly crying now. This man lost his mate and his child. "Did you find out who did it? Why they did it?" I ask quietly through my sniffles.

He lowers his head and shakes it. I think that's all the response he'll give when he speaks. "I never found anything. None of my men did either. The only people who ever even disliked her were my father and Khaos' father. Even though they disliked her, I never suspected them capable of murdering her without proof of any kind."

"So that's why when I showed up . . ."

It's his turn to just nod.

He takes a deep breath and begins again. "Losing your mate is one of the most painful things any paranormal or supernatural being can go through. They're the other half of your soul. So after a pair has bonded, their souls are merged into only one soul, as the Goddess intended. Losing one means your soul is then ripped in half, and it doesn't ever really heal again. Most shifters follow their mate in death. My rage, and Benny, were the only things that kept me alive. I'm glad I got through all of that before I found you."

He looks at me like I hung the moon with my bare hands. "I fear you would have thought me a barbaric monster and never given me a chance. Hell, I was a monster. But I came out on the other side. I got myself together. My men and I started making plans. But apparently we weren't the only ones. My father and India's father were making plans of their own. When I had finally healed, as much as one could, they advised me that India and I were to be wed. I let them know of my plans for America and hockey and what me and my men wanted to do for a time. They said I could have my fun, but when I was done, I would have to marry her. I didn't care anymore. I didn't have a reason to fight them other than I would never be able to love her."

He sighs while I just stare at him. Judging by the look on his face, I'm really not going to like what he says next.

"What is it?" I ask, not really wanting to know anymore but knowing I have to nonetheless.

"India and I are still betrothed and . . . I just recently found out the king wants her and me to take the throne. I haven't spoken to my father about it anymore, so I can only assume that I was chosen for my work with the army of werewolves. I've been with the King on many occasions to take care of our people. With India, it would have to be her upbringing. Though she wasn't royal, being the daughter of the king's advisor, she had been taught by royal tutors. But all of that was before this," he says, waving his hands between us as he rushes to continue speaking. "I don't care who it upsets; I will not marry her, and I will not take the throne beside her. Leera, you are my everything. I know that doesn't make sense to you yet, but it will. I can hardly breathe when you're not within reach. I will move the mountains and oceans for you if I must. But please trust me when I say there has never and will never be anything of measure between her and me."

It's his turn to drop his head as he tangles his fingers in his hair with the hand I'm not holding.

"Have you told her? Does she know it's over?" I ask, but the look on his face is all the answer I need.