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I 'm not sure what I would do without hockey.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't intrigued when hockey first came about a hundred years ago, give or take. At the time, I never had the chance to really try it out to see if it was a right fit for me—not right away at least.

Being the commander of a relatively out-of-shape army came with a heavy workload. It wasn't until I got them all straightened out and in working order before I could explore more relaxed activities. I never really wanted anything to do with our armies, but my father was born without status and was never able to acquire one for himself. Apparently, even being best friends with the king's advisor wasn't enough for him to get his way; that is, until he had me. He raised me to be everything he wasn't. He loathed his parents for settling for normalcy when he was destined for greatness, or so he says. He spent my life molding me into exactly what the king needed, which was a warrior. Not just any warrior, but a leader. His military was solid if needed for defensive purposes, but that was all. It took hundreds of years, but I trained and built them into an elite machine that can conquer, defend, and protect.

Benny and I started learning and practicing hockey together about thirty years ago. The nineties were an amazing time for the NHL. Wayne Gretzky, need I say more? As for Benny and me, we don't do anything with less than perfection, so we spent a couple decades honing our skills to be the best before we decided to go pro. The rest of my closest men saw us enjoying ourselves and joined in a while later.

It has always amazed me that humans just believe that there are other humans with basically the same DNA as each other that are just that much bigger, stronger, faster, and tougher. Pretty much all professional sports are played by a supernatural being, or their less-blood offspring. While most paranormal creatures' mate and marry within their species, sometimes fate has other plans. Since we're immortal, it's nice to have something to do to pass the time now. The world was so much more boring before organized sports.

Anyway, Benny and I chose hockey. We love the cold, the competition, and getting to beat the shit out of other wolves. Thanks to our supernatural healing abilities, it looks a lot worse than it really is, and we're usually as right as rain after about an hour or so. Since the US hasn't adopted rugby yet, this is as good as it gets.

I'd wanted to start a new hockey team in a more rural setting but close enough to big cities that we have everything we need. After digging around and checking out our options, we set up in Mogadore, Ohio. It's less than a handful of hours from my pack, with plenty of close city access, plenty of wooded areas, and lots of corn fields. We're the Mogadore Predators.

Another thing humans don't know is that when a supernatural being wants to get involved in a sports team, they can contact an existing team, or if they have enough men and money, they can start their own. We choose someone else to be the team owner, sometimes even letting humans take the reins on the business side of things. Our publicized team owner is a half-werewolf kid named Kit. He's about two hundred and fifty years old, he's good at business, and the guys love him. I say publicized because he's fifty percent owner. I own the rest of the team, but I don't want the attention or notoriety that goes with it. I just want to play the game. We've come a long way in the national rankings, and we get better every year.

Back home, in Zabella, a realm accessible through a rift gate near Romania, I'm still the commander of the werewolf king's army, with Benny as my second, but I left my lead lieutenant in charge of keeping them in line and training any new recruits in my absence. I've given over five hundred years, and so much more, to our military and our people. I need this. The distance. The release. The escape. The nightmares came with me, of course, but I'd probably be lost without them too.

The team finished drills hours ago, but I still had restlessly angry energy that I needed to keep working off. So, it's just me and the ice. I pump my legs as hard as they'll go, leaning my body through the turns in the rink. It's too bad hockey rinks aren't the size of football fields. I bet I could have one built somewhere. The guys would love that. The pack probably would too. If I had it built on the pack lands, everyone would have somewhere quiet to skate where they could work their frustrations out as well. Not even just frustrations, but any restlessness, especially the energetic pups.

I can't believe I've already been the Alpha of the Great Lakes Pack for nearly fifty years. Leading a growing pack is so much different than commanding an army, but there are also similarities. The army is all strict order and physical exertion. The pack is so much more. It's family. Real family.

My father hated pack life and was too busy kissing royal asses to ever even entertain being a more active part of our world. The life a werewolf lives in Zabella is different than in this realm. While there are a few packs, since everyone is werewolf, it's much like the older human civilizations. Living in village communities across the land, governed by different Alphas that all answer to the king.

Growing up with just my father after my mother died was a cold and lonely existence. My mother was my light. She was my warmth. Everyone she encountered seemed to have no choice but to love her. Her energy was infectious, but she was too light for this world. My father's world. He is darkness. I wouldn't be surprised if his father was the devil himself. He is cold and detached, and he cares for no one but himself. His name and reputation are all that ever have or ever will matter. It's what led to my sweet mother's death.

She would have loved the pack that my men and I built. My closest men came to this realm with me. Once the decision was made, we packed our belongings, crossed the rift gate, came to the states, and landed in the Great Lakes area. We settled in the Shawnee State Forest, and the pack just kind of happened. Other wolves slowly made their way to us, some coming from Zabella to live among humans and others that were already here. They came seeking shelter, protection, and a pack. As long as they were hardworking and honest, they were allowed to stay.

I'm shaken from my thoughts, still barreling around the rink, as my men burst through the doors separating the rink from the rest of the arena, squabbling about something I don't care enough to listen in on. Benny flags me down, and I make my way over. While Benny is my second in command of the army, it extends to all things. He's also been my best friend my entire life; he's my pack Beta, and he's my left wing on the ice. I wouldn't be the man I am without him. He grounds me. When my darkness takes over and it feels like all light has left the world, he can always find me and bring me back. He's also an idiot and doesn't know when to just shut the fuck up, most of the time.

"Do you realize you've had your walls up forever? No one really needs anything, but I'm bored, and the twins are driving Slate crazy," Benny hollers as I near the edge of the ice.

"If you weren't so loud and ever stopped talking, I wouldn't have to block you," I snap back as I drop onto the bench to remove my skates.

He's having a tantrum because he never grew out of the stage that pups go through where nothing in this world can shut them up, which means I get tired of listening. So, I erect mental walls to block out communication.

As a pack, anyone can communicate with each other telepathically within the same realm. Because our communication is telepathic, distance doesn't matter as long as you're within the same plane of existence. While it's an amazing gift, sometimes it just gets too loud in my head, and I need some time with only my thoughts. I can't imagine having to have those stupid phones stuck to my ear all the time just to communicate like humans do. They don't even work half the time, especially in the state parks and forests where most werewolf packs reside.

He wasn't exaggerating, though. I don't know what Eris and Dolos are on about, but Slate really does look ready to murder them, while Andrei looks bored with the whole mess. Shaking my head, I shout at my Omegas, "What is it now? What is so important that you're tempting your fate?"

The cheshire grins on their faces never mean good things. Raising one eyebrow, I look to Andrei for any sign of what's going on, but his passive expression clearly shows how little he cares. By the time I reach the twins, they're nearly bouncing on their toes as they reply, "We might have accidentally stolen Slate's girl."

Scrubbing my hand down my face, I mumble, "Do I even want to know? Slate, is this really about some chick again?"

Turning to face him, he shakes his head and says, "Nah, Boss. I was mad for all of a second, but they can have her. She's not my mate, so she doesn't mean anything to me. They just won't shut the fuck up." He stands now, still spewing his frustrations, "They're the ones that wanted to share her, and I don't know how many times I've told them, I don't want in on their nasty shit."

I chuckle at first, but he wasn't joking; the twins won't shut up about it. "Look, we really don't want to hear about your nasty sexcapades and whatever you weirdos do when you share a woman," I say with my back to my men, replacing my skates with shoes. They don't seem to have even heard me, as they're steadily arguing louder and louder.

ENOUGH!

All four men immediately lower their heads, Eris releasing a small whimper. I don't have to use my Alpha energy on my men often, but the twins are professionals when it comes to bringing it out of me. "You are all full-grown men, and I will not referee your bullshit. Eris and Dolos, keep your weird shit to yourselves. Unless you want to be knocked on your ass, you'll figure it out. You're acting like teenage, human females." Grabbing my skates, I turn towards the locker room without another word.

I've been in the shower all of five minutes when Benny swings around the corner with that stupid smile on his face. "You seem especially irritable today. What's up?" he asks.

I just shake my head, turning up the heat of the water, hoping it can drown out the anger. The pain. The past. "Nothing's up," I reply when I realize he won't leave until I say something.

I've barely made it through the door of our home before I immediately want to leave. I hear India raging at someone over the phone about scuffing her shoes at a photo shoot. I can't imagine screaming at someone over a scuffed-fucking-shoe and I just can't deal with her today.

I stop just inside the door, not wanting to go further. The guys file in moments after. Walking past me, the twins throw me a look that says they're off to see if they can enrage her enough to make her leave, and in this moment, I'm thankful for these two royal pains in my ass.

India is the daughter of the king's advisor, and we're arranged to be married at some time in the, hopefully distant, future. Sometimes, very rarely, she really isn't that bad, but most of the time she's a raging bitch. I hold on to the hope that she finds her mate, and I don't have to go through with this. She's attractive by human standards, but it's as fake as she is. I don't understand how she can be so full of herself and yet hate herself so much that she has to constantly get work done on her face. She only buys or wears the most expensive, name-brand items. The human men stop and literally drool over her.

She knows her marriage to me will be nothing romantic, but that doesn't stop her from occasionally trying to move our relationship to depths we agreed it wouldn't go. When we were first informed of our betrothal, I did not have any say in the decision.

India and I have not spoken much regarding our impending arrangement. I made it clear early on that I did not have feelings for her in that way. Our relationship would only be a partnership. She's continued to push those boundaries for years, and to this day, I still do not have romantic feelings for her like she does for me.

I'm also not happy with the fact that she will be the Luna of my pack with the marriage. I've only taken her to my pack once because of how she acted while we were there. She wouldn't stop complaining that her pointy-ass shoes were sinking into the ground. She was not warm or kind to any women or pups. She started commenting on all the improvements she would need if she were forced to stay there. A Luna is supposed to be a proud leader of her people. A Luna should be someone they can look up to and count on.

Our fathers arranged the marriage because of my position in Zabella. The advisor's daughter and the commander of the army. It looks good on paper, but it's not what I want. India is happy with it because being my wife would raise her status even further.

We are able to satisfy each other physically on occasion, but what we do couldn't be further from making love. Our sex is hard and angry. Just me releasing the frustration of my past and future, and she meets me blow for blow. I didn't want to take our relationship to that level and give her a false sense of what I could bring to our future marriage, but she made it clear that she understood that this is just all I'm capable of. This is all I have left.

Stepping into my office, I kick the door shut behind me and sink into my large leather chair. Brutus, pack status update. We're three to four hours away from the pack here in Mogadore. Close enough that we can get there quickly when needed, but far enough that the pack has the peace they need from the media surrounding the hockey team, and such.

Nothing urgent to report, Alpha. We welcomed a new pack member today. Mum and pup are healthy and resting. The hunters brought back enough meat to last us another couple of weeks.

I'm thankful we built the pack with a solid foundation that allows us to be away for hockey and not have to worry about how the pack is doing.

Thank you, Brutus. Make sure Mackenzie and her new pup have everything they need from us; it's her firstborn, and I know Rodger is worried about her. See if one of the den mothers wouldn't mind spending some time with them. Let me know if anything comes up.

Stretching as I stand, I head over to my small bar in the corner and pour half a glass of my favorite whiskey. It's the best human-whiskey I've found. It's not worth the hassle to bring ours in from home.

Just as my thighs hit the chair again, the door slowly swings open to reveal India. Her white-blonde-dyed hair is pulled into a long, sleek ponytail so tight that I don't know how she can move her face. She looks at me with a strained smile and saunters toward me in a way that says she's hoping I need to let off some steam this evening. With how shitty I feel, I would normally send her away, but maybe it would make me feel better, or at least take the edge off.

She perches herself on my right thigh, looking down at me with big, green eyes that get her pretty much anything from everyone else she crosses paths with. Even I would find her green eyes gorgeous, but there is something that lies beneath them that I just can't put my finger on. It's unsettling.

I don't react or speak, just a simple curt nod. She visibly melts, thinking she's gotten her way this time, so I'll let her have her moment. She shuffles out of the room, and I can hear her nearly sprinting to my room at the end of the hall.

I allow myself another few moments of peace to finish my whiskey before following after her. Almost to my bedroom, I hear Benny. I recommend everyone clear out. Alpha's headed to take some steam out on India again. Alpha, please remember to block this time; nobody wants in on that. Well, the twins might never . . . I throw my walls up before he can finish his thought. They know how our arrangement works. They also know that I hope I never actually have to marry her. I've been trying to find a way out of it for years.

India has spent her life living as an American socialite for so long that I think she forgets she's a werewolf. She does the social media thing on her phone, obsessed with every click, like, and follow. I think she calls herself an influencer or something. The thought of her influencing anyone, about anything, is unfathomable. Part of our arrangement is that our impending betrothal does not carry into our public lives. To the world, we're both single. In private, and in Zabella, we'll be married someday.

She's already naked on my bed with my blankets wrapped around her when I enter the room.

"Turn around, hands and knees on the bed," I order as I begin removing my clothing. She knows better than to argue with me when I'm like this. She tried once, resulting in my clothes being returned to my body and her leaving town for a couple weeks. I need the control, and I need the release.

I take my time, making her wait, knowing how much she hates the quiet anticipation, but also knowing it makes her even wetter. Without ceremony, I climb onto the bed behind her, my wolf growling under my skin—he hates her with a strength I don't understand. In a swift single motion, I grip her hips and fully seat myself inside her. She cries out from the intrusion, and my wolf's low growl becomes a snarl.

Her moaning whimpers only fuel me more as I pound into her without restraint, urging me to take her harder. My release finds me quickly, but I don't let it enter her body. Instead, I unload it all in her hair, knowing how much she hates it. She complains about how hard it is to wash out. I smirk at myself for the first time today. I'm not a total fucking monster, though. Reaching both arms around her lean frame, my left hand pinches her nipple, while my right hand travels lower. Once I've reached her mound, I begin to pump two fingers into her while my palm rubs her bundle of nerves until she swiftly finds her release as well.

I roll around her to drop onto my pillow, lost in thought. I hate to admit that I do feel a little better after hashing it out with India. I guess if I'm forced to marry someone, it helps when that someone can handle me and the demons from my past. I feel myself drifting off to sleep as she crawls out of bed, heading for the bathroom to shower and wash me out of her hair.

I know I'm dreaming as soon as it begins.

It's the same every time.

I'm almost home when I hear her screaming.

I immediately shift into my wolf and bolt for our small home on the furthest edge of the castle grounds. Even on four legs, it feels as though an eternity passes before I make it to our cottage.

Shifting back into my human body and throwing the door off the hinges as I burst through, I'm met with silence, which is far more terrifying. At least when she was screaming, I knew she was alive. She's been having that itchy feeling lately, like someone's watching her. I know it doesn't make sense, but I learned a long time ago to trust her judgment; I couldn't find any trace of anyone. No scents. No tracks. Nothing.

I finally find her just outside the back door after frantically searching every room. She's lying face down in her new clusters of azaleas. She planted them when she realized she was pregnant with our pup. I slowly kneel to turn her over, but I already know.

I can't feel her wolf, and mine is already howling. Her heartbeat is so light and slow that I know she only has a moment left, so I do the only thing I can. I hold her as close to me as physically possible and whisper all the words I hope she can hear in her final moments in her body.

As our mate bond is snapped, the scream that rips from my lungs is unnatural. It's what I imagine a dragon would sound like if they still walked the earth. I know that there's little chance the baby survived, as it wasn't due for another month. Holding my breath, I lay my head on the tight swell of her belly and listen and pray to the Moon Goddess that at least one can be saved. Silence. I've never understood when someone said they found silence to be loud. I know now, and I wish I could take away this knowledge.

BENNY! I know he and my other men would have heard me scream, but I need to make sure. I may be the stronger of the two of us, but he's the tracker. I need him.

BENNNYYY! I scream once more as his cinnamon-colored wolf hurtles into view, howling and crying immediately as he takes in the scene. He's off and running before I even have to ask; he knows what I need. So I just hold them. My Imogen. My mate. My reason for living and breathing. My world. And my child.

I don't know how long I sit in the same spot, just holding them as tightly to my body as they can go. Benny returns, slowly approaching us. He loved her as much as I did. He shifts, drops to his haunches, and wraps his arms around us. We sit there like that for only another moment. Benny sits up, looks at me, and says, "The guys are on the way. I'm so sorry, Roman. I couldn't find anything; not a single trace of anyone being here at all." I think I can stand and step away from her as my father comes into sight just before the rest of my men.

"ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?" I roar. My whole body is trembling with rage and the effects of losing my mate. The one soul in the universe made just for me. My other half.

My father always hated her and felt she was beneath me. How can anything so perfect be measured by levels of status? Who the fuck cares that she grew up in the village like a normal werewolf and not some royal pompous ass?!

He holds his hands out in front of him as if to surrender. "I mean no harm. I heard and came to check on you. Oh, son, I'm so sorry."

I can't hear him over the roaring of my blood and the howling of my wolf as I crumble back down to the ground. I can't do this. Another guttural cry leaves my human body.

I can't do this. I release control to my wolf, who is still howling. The howls morph into snarling at my father as he backs away and finally leaves my sight. As my men approach, I wrap my wolf's body around her. Blood coating my thick, cream-colored fur. Her blood.

I hadn't even noticed the blood before.

My wolf can't handle it either, and I'm thrown back into my human form, screaming and praying that this is also my end and I can be with them on the other side.

I'm still screaming as I jolt awake in the dark. My entire body is covered in a sheen of cold sweat. India lets out a small screech as she holds onto me in the night. "Oh, Roman baby, are you ok? You're shaking."

"Don't touch me!" I shout as I throw her arm away from my body and launch myself out of the bed. "You know not to touch me when it comes to her."

She bows her head, dresses quickly, and leaves.

You okay, Boss? Benny asks in my mind. My wolf is still howling, so I let him know I'm going to go let him run it off.

As the sun rises, I'm still running.

I'm still running because I can still feel her in my arms, almost five hundred years later. I can still hear the roaring silence of the moment her heart stopped beating. I can still feel the moment the bond snapped. I can still feel the moment my world stopped spinning and they were gone.