15

I knew hockey was brutal, but this seems so much worse than the games and highlights I watched.

The whole game has been that way for every play—someone's starting a fight or slamming someone into the wall.

I swear I saw a tooth fly across the rink earlier.

The harder the teams fight, the louder the fans scream. I can't explain the energy, but it doesn't feel like just a sports game anymore. The rivalry feels toxic, like the players' anger is seeping into the fans and everyone is just one wrong play away from being rabid animals.

It's been really intense. Both teams are constantly putting all their energy into pulling their team ahead in hopes of winning the game.

I'm trying to keep up with the plays and the lingo all while watching every move Roman makes.

It goes on like this for nearly the entire game. It's the third and final period when all of a sudden he seems more focused. Out of nowhere, Benny and Roman are skating so fast and all I can do is gawk. Then they've got the puck! Benny is about to score, but the Vulture's goalie blocks it.

Oh, wait! It happens so fast I almost miss it, Roman has the puck in the net!

I'm about to cheer when a scream barrels from my body before I can truly comprehend what's happening.

There's no other way to describe it, other than, Roman is attacked. One man takes out his legs while another pummels him into the ice so hard I swear I can feel his pain.

My scream morphs into a wail of his name as I hurl my body down the steps of the arena to the railing overlooking the ice.

He sees me. His eyes stare right into mine. "ROMAN!" I yell one more time with my hand stretched against the plexiglass barrier. A moment later he loses his battle with consciousness and his eyes close.

I'm banging on the plexiglass divider and yelling now.

There are more security guards coming for me than there are refs helping Roman! The Predators' players are all flying on to the ice, but why aren't they getting to him faster?

Why do I care so much?

Why is this hurting me?

It doesn't matter, this is wrong.

Security obviously thinks I'm some kind of crazy lady. They're escorting me out of the building while fans are on the verge of brawling themselves. This is a nightmare. Is this really happening?

I struggle against the security team, letting them know I'm here as a journalist and was invited by Roman, but they don't stop moving even when I show them my press pass. Before they've gotten me out the door, I catch a glimpse of Benny and the twins standing over Roman. I've never seen a picture of an angry Benny, but right now, standing over his best friend's body, he looks like a very, very dangerous man.

I realize I'm still crying as I walk into our dorm room and Zoey is instantly on high alert.

I called her on the way home and gave her an idea of what happened.

"Shhhh, it's okay, come here," she soothes. She really is good at this. "I thought you didn't like the big bad wolf," she barely gets out without giggling.

"This isn't funny, Zo. I can't explain it, and I don't know why I care. I've never even had a conversation with the man, but there's just SOMETHING . . ." I emphasize by running both hands down my face and pulling at my eyes, looking like a kid making scary faces.

"There are already videos of that hit online, I saw the whole thing. Everything looked so crazy tonight. Hockey is tough and all, but it's not usually that bad. I guess the league made a statement and the other guy just has a fine to pay."

I just shake my head, still trying to fully process what just happened.

"Did they say whether or not he was okay?" I plead.

"They said once he woke up, he went a little crazy but he's okay. That happens sometimes when people wake up from being knocked out like that. Um, also . . . there's a couple videos of you. All the captions and comments keep asking why the little mystery girl freaked out," Zoey informs me quietly.

"Uuughhhhh," I sigh, just leaving my head in my hands at this point. "I don't even know what came over me. It was like I wasn't in control of my body or reactions!"

"It's okay, girl. Sometimes you just feed off the energy in those situations."

I know she's trying to make me feel better, but it just doesn't.

"Whatever. I'm so over this day. Can we just forget today ever happened?" I ask going to get ready for bed and try again tomorrow. When life gets hard, which it seems to want to do a lot lately, I find myself just wanting to put a pin in everything and deal with it later. Later being whenever, if ever, I'm ready to unpack what I'm actually feeling. Feelings are hard and heavy, and after I lost my parents, I find myself not wanting to really deal with those feelings.

When I emerge from our bathroom, Zoey grimaces and tries to smile.

"So, I guess you'll have to ask for another extension on your assignment," she says so quietly I can barely hear her.

My head snaps around so fast, "I hadn't even thought of that yet! I can't believe on top of everything else, I let her down again."

I drop on to my bed, feeling absolutely drained. Zoey also crawls into bed, turns on the TV and asks, "Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast?"

"Beauty and the Beast, definitely."

We both fall asleep watching dishes dance across the screen. I don't know what Zoey dreams about, but I keep reliving that hit over and over again on a loop.