43

I sit on the log, staring out at the clearing in complete and total shock at the giant, steaming pile of shit my life has become in the last year.

I feel like one of those cartoon waitresses trying to get back to the kitchen with the dirty dishes, but people just keep throwing more on the pile. Now, instead of just trying to get to the kitchen, I have to get there without dropping or breaking anything.

I was slightly terrified yet so excited for my first shift.

It felt otherworldly to be united with my wolf.

Until it all came crashing down.

Again.

Because that's what my life does.

I should be enjoying my wolf. Running with Roman and the men.

Nope.

Not me.

I find out I'm some twisted Twilight version of Rapunzel.

I guess in some ways it took an item off of my life-stuff-to-figure-out list, but now that adds more questions as well.

I know who my birth parents are, but I'm no closer to knowing how the parents that raised me came to have me in their possession. We also don't know why they were hiding me or what they knew was coming.

Does it have to do with the prophecy stuff that India overheard? Could it really all be connected?

Andrei obviously accepts me, but what if they don't want me? What if I don't want to be a princess in another world?

“GODDAMMIT!”

That was supposed to be a frustrated scream in my head, but it came out of my mouth instead, and Andrei and Roman both jumped.

The other men took off just a bit ago to give us time to talk and think. Probably to give me time to get my shit together.

“I'm sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Roman says gently as he pulls me back into his embrace. “Like everything else, we'll figure this out at whatever speed you need,” he finishes with a kiss on my head.

“What's my name?”

They both turn to look at me.

“The princess. What was her...er, my name?” I ask more confidently.

“Larina,” they answer in unison.

“But that doesn't matter. Your name doesn't matter to any of us. You matter,” Roman quickly adds while Andrei nods in agreement.

“I don't want to upset you any further, but moth...I have a letter from the King and Queen for if I ever found you. When you're ready, you can have it. Like everything else, as Roman said, we'll do this at your pace. No one wants to drag you to Zabella and disrupt your life any further. I'm just so glad I found you. And when you're ready, they will be too.”

I nod. Another single tear skitters down my cheek, but I pull myself to my feet. “Thank you, Andrei.” I hug my big brother. My twin. My single tear’s friends join the party, and he pulls me closer with a sniffle of his own.

He pulls back, holding my shoulders an arm length away. “I'll leave you two to enjoy the rest of the evening. Just let me know if you need anything.” And then he walks away, heading back to join the others around the fire.

I slowly turn to where Roman took my seat on the log. He smiles warmly at me with a look that says he’s sorry and wishes he could take all this shit away for me. I plop myself onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck, and inhale his scent. I continue sitting here, taking all the calming his touch and smell provide, until I'm ready to move.

“I don't know why my life has turned out the way that it has, but it gave me you. Fuck, I really don't know what I'd do without you.” I tuck myself into his body, wishing there was a way to live attached to him for the rest of my life. Nothing could get me if I was a literal part of his body.

But that's not how it works. My life and the universe continue to pelt me with information and things I never fathomed, and it only continues to make me stronger. This will too.

He holds me as long as I need it. Slowly rubbing circles on my back and thighs. Murmuring sweet words of comfort. Making me feel like somehow everything might actually be okay.

I pull away from his chest, wipe any tears or snot off my face from crying, take his face in my hands, and kiss him like the world is ending. Once he's registered his surprise, he answers my call and consumes me equally, allowing everything else to fade away for a few blissful moments.

When we come up for air, chests heaving, I smile. “Okay, Big Guy, how can I shift back into my wolf? I want more time with her.”

The smile that overtakes his face should be chiseled into one of the statues in Italy. People would come from all over the world and other realms just to look at him. It's ridiculous how gorgeous he is, if I'm being honest.

“Just like you shifted back, that's all it takes to shift now that you've done it. Concentrate. Visualize yourself shifting into your wo—"

He doesn't finish because I've already shifted and am now bounding around him in circles. As a freaking wolf!

He smiles and turns to continue watching me go around him in circles a few more times before he reaches for me. He runs his hands through my fur, and a shiver runs through my body while my wolf purrs. He takes my furry face in his large hands, which now just look normal sized against my wolf, and kisses the end of my nose. “You're still the most breathtaking creature I've ever seen.”

My wolf howls with happiness, many of the others joining in because Roman warned me it's contagious, like yawns are for people.

I jump back from him, leaning back and hopping around a bit, trying to convey that I want him to shift with me.

This will be so much easier when we can just communicate telepathically.

He laughs at my antics but seems to understand because he peels his clothes from his body— I think I just drooled. Like literally drooled because I'm a wolf— then shifts.

I'd gotten used to our bond thrumming between us, waiting for us to complete it, but I did not expect the intensity of how it would feel as a wolf. With our wolves essentially being our souls, and the bond being tethered between souls, it literally feels like a giant magnet shoving us together. Like, when I'm not with him, I feel like I can’t breathe.

I run to him, and, Jesus, I'm still tiny! He's still so much bigger than me.

His wolf walks around mine a few times before stopping just in front of me. His blue eye glowing darker, while his green eye glows brighter. Do my eyes glow like that as a wolf?

I approach him, tucking myself beneath his chin and nuzzle into his neck. He nuzzles me in return, then leans away and licks the top of my head.

His head whips to the right, just before Benny’s wolf comes crashing into us, and I swear, I can feel his laughter all around me.

The twin’s gray wolves are hot on his heels. I manage to dodge out of the way in time for them to start a dog pile on top of Roman. Slate's black wolf somehow portrays the same bored look he always has on his face. If I wasn't a wolf right now, I'd be giggling.

Andrei's brindled wolf approaches slowly, as if seeking permission. I make a dramatic show of trying to smile and wag my tail. I know my tail is moving, but I'm not sure what my wolf smile looks like on the outside; though, it seems to work because he slowly approaches and sits down right next to me. I allow myself to lean into him for a moment. Understanding our bond and wondering what could have been.

I shake the somber thoughts away, literally shaking my whole wolf's body.

Roman finally escapes the rowdy dog pile and makes a grumbly noise, tossing his head to the side, which I interpret as “Wanna go for a run?”

Instead of answering, I take off running. Roman and all the men following. I think Andrei howls, and the sound fills me up until I too have to howl, or I might explode.

The howl is filled with happiness and hope. And in this moment, as I run through the forest with my mate, my twin, and our family, I feel so powerful and free. It feels like I’m flying. The wind in my face tastes like possibility.

And maybe, just maybe, it will all be okay after all.