21

I can't decide whether falling asleep or waking up in Roman's arms is my favorite. As I lay here, currently cocooned in his embrace, I think about the whirlwind of the last few days.

That heat. Whew. We've shared a few more steamy kisses, but we haven't had anymore physical interactions since it faded. My brain is happy with myself for setting boundaries and thankful that he is taking them seriously for me. My body and my heart are mad at my brain and worry that maybe it wasn't as good for him since he hasn't tried to engage in more.

The day after my heat was peaceful normalcy and gave me an unexpected glimpse of what my life moving forward could look like with Roman.

That next day was a little less lighthearted. After Roman brought me breakfast and coffee in bed, complete with a small bouquet of wildflowers, we put on some fresh lounge clothes, sat down, and really discussed everything going on in my life. All the things I kept tabling for later because I wasn't ready to deal with them. I wasn't ready to discuss them because having to sit down and talk about something made it a real, living, breathing thing that could hurt you, but it couldn't be delayed any longer.

Roman and I had set up our own little war room in the living room to make sure we had enough space to map out and discuss everything we needed to tackle.

First on the list was my schooling and living situations. We agreed that I would take my classes online for the rest of the semester. It wasn't worth going through the turmoil of attending physical classes if I couldn't enjoy them. At the end of the semester, I would re-evaluate how I felt about everything and go from there.

As far as the living situation, my head and heart were in substantial disagreement.

My head kept saying: It's too soon to live with him; I want to be a strong and independent woman; I will miss Zoey; and I want a normal college experience.

My heart and wolf were adamant about it not being too soon because we're mates and usually once two people mate, they move in together immediately; I can still be a strong and somewhat independent woman while living with my mate; Zoey can come visit and stay the night with me any time, and really, my normal college experience flew out the window a long time ago.

So I did what any eighteen-year-old girl going through a new life crisis would do. I excused myself to one of the guest bedrooms and texted my best friend.

I smile to myself at the supportive nature of my best friend and send up more thanks to the universe for bringing her to me.

Happy tears filled my eyes.

I clutched my phone to my chest and took a moment in private to let the conversation wash over me.

I was really going to move in with Roman.

My soul mate.

Well, at least the moment was mostly private; my wolf purred in agreement.

Once I had allowed myself to completely absorb my decision, I quietly left the guest room. As I padded down the hallway, I found Roman pacing the living room with one hand tangled in his hair. I hadn't meant to worry him. I had wanted to sneak up on him, like he had done with me the morning before, but he almost immediately noticed my presence and turned to make eye contact with me.

Unable to say the words out loud, I let myself smile as I felt heat rising to my cheeks and nodded at him. His happiness was palpable as he scooped me into his arms and held my body against his.

“Please say that nod meant you decided to live here with me. Not just because you feel that you need to, but that you want to,” he pleaded with his chin resting on top of my head.

I leaned my body away from his so that I could look into his eyes as I told him, “Oh, Roman, I want to live here, with you, because of you,” I finished with my hand pressed against his heart, earning me another panty-melting kiss.

When Roman pulled away, I wasn't able to capture the whimper that escaped my lips at the loss of his touch. He gently stroked the side of my face with his chin while he said, “There will be plenty of time for that later, but if we don't finish working on our list, I will soon become much too distracted, and we won't get any more work done today.”

While my body very much wanted to spend the rest of the day distracted with him, he was right. This all needed to be discussed, and any plans needed to be decided upon.

We moved on to the next item. Family. There was almost too much here to unpack.

At the highest level, my parents were witches; Khaos is kind of my soul’s brother; and who were my real parents?

Learning that my parents were witches probably should have been more of a shock than it was, but after everything I've been through in the last couple of months, it's easier to just roll with the punches. Even though it was kind of startling to hear that my parents were witches, some things just made sense. The biggest one being the wolfsbane.

My parents hadn't poisoned me my whole life out of some kind of darkness. They were trying to protect me from something. Though it would have been helpful to know what that something was.

Some other things that just seem to make sense now that I know they were witches are little things from my childhood. Getting so close to animals during a shoot, and them never even flinching at our proximity. The few times they identified a strain of plant life thought to be extinct.

Witches or not, the love was real. I know that with the same fierceness that I know Roman is my mate. I just wish they had trusted me to keep their secret. Hell, I wish they'd told me my own secret.

Even though I find myself wishing a lot of things with them had gone differently, I am grateful that this new life brought me to Willa. While unorthodox, it's comforting to have another person in my life that I can completely be myself with. It kills me to hide so much of myself from Zoey.

As far as Khaos being the brother to my soul's previous life…that one feels a bit more precarious. I wasn't sure I wanted a relationship with him or not. I could feel the bond between us, but how would he react? Would he be angry with me for the reincarnation of his sister that was outside of my control? Would he try to keep me from Roman? Would he even believe me? Roman suggests that I wait and see what happens the next time I have any interaction with him and go from there.

Back to the topic of parents: I hadn't even thought of who my actual parents might be. When Roman brought it up, I was in a state of shock for a few moments. I knew my parents were witches, yet I hadn't put the puzzle pieces together to wonder if I had other parents out there. God, that's so weird to think about. The thought of two people, or in this case werewolves, being the ones who brought me into this world and not the people who raised me.

I was honest with Roman when I let him know that I wasn't ready to try and find out who they were right now. It’s just way too overwhelming.

Since the men hadn't found any leads about the kidnapping and weren't able to get anything out of the man who they had found in that house with me, the trail had gone cold for now.

During our discussions of family, I had a moment of peace wash over me when I realized that even though I lost my parents and have mystery parents out there in the universe somewhere, I still found the most amazing little family. Zoey, Willa, Roman, Benny, Slate, Dolos, Eris, and even Andrei have all become my family.

I also used that moment to have a little more fun than our strict get-shit-done day had planned, and I started a group text.

After that, we discussed hockey and how I would fit into their schedules. I would obviously be at all home games with Zoey, and there would be a guard stationed nearby, just in case. During practices I would usually be home—i t's still strange to think of this as my home now—w orking on my school work, but will be free to do whatever I want. It was the away games that worried Roman the most, especially since he had one in three days.

With the league being inherently werewolf, there are policies in place for mates. Those policies grant me access to anywhere the team goes. As much as my old, independent tendencies scream at me to resist and say that I can take care of myself, I just don't really want to. I don't want to be away from Roman anymore than he wants to be away from me. I don't want to watch him play on the television when I could be in the stands cheering for him. Why wouldn't I take advantage of everything in place that allows me to stay close to my mate?

That left the only topic of conversation to be me and my wolf. I luckily hadn't had anymore incidents of her trying to unnaturally force a shift, but with the full moon approaching, there is an especially good chance that I will experience my first shift very soon. When I say approaching, I mean according to my web browser, the full moon is in five days.

I try not to freak myself out with all the thoughts and concerns trying to plague my mind. I really do. But after the first episode, I can admit I'm afraid. Even though every time I think about it, my wolf does that calming cat-like rub against my skin to make me feel better. When I'm not being afraid of my first shift, I'm so excited. I'll finally get to meet my wolf. What will she look like? How will it feel to be covered in fur and run on four legs?

Roman said that the evening of the full moon, we can go to the pack and join the others who will be experiencing their first shifts. He said the whole community comes together around a big bonfire and supports the pups through their first transition. Even though I'm not a pup, I still feel the urge to take part in the traditional rite of passage among my own kind. I also want to meet the pack. They will be part of my family and my new life.

As much as I dreaded really working through everything, it was unexpectedly cathartic to lay it all out there and have plans in place.

My thoughts are pulled back to now, when the tree trunk of a man behind me grumbles incoherently into my hair. I wriggle in his hold until I've turned myself around to look at him, brushing the sandy hair from his face. When his eyes finally open and meet mine, I'm once again rendered breathless. The happier he is, the brighter the green and blue of his eyes are, and right now, the most talented painters in the world couldn't capture the emotion shining there for me. For little, boring, orphan Leera.

Only, I'm not that girl anymore. I'm a werewolf. I'm someone's mate. I have a best friend. I'm a college student with a witch for a professor. I'll never allow myself to take this life for granted ever again.

“Why do you think so loudly, so early?” he grumbles.

It would seem my mate is also not a morning person. The thought causes a small giggle to squeak out.

“I've just been going over everything again from the last few days,” I reply, snuggling into his embrace when I feel him harden against me.

The liquid fire spreads through my veins again, but it's not the burning and desperate need that it was when I was in heat. I’m still in control of myself.

Roman shifts and groans, “Sunshine, you're going to have to stop rubbing against me like that. I'm trying to behave for you.”

I do as he says and stop wiggling. I, however, have no interest in behaving this morning. I play with a few of the hairs on his chest before I trace his ab muscles leading to the perfectly defined v-muscle and allow my fingers to skitter across the waistband of his boxers.

I watch my fingers as they explore his body when he lightly grips my chin to look at him.

“You don't have any idea how amazing this feels, but you don't have to do this if you aren't ready yet.” It seems to pain him to say.

We're lying on our sides facing each other, so I take his hand from my chin and lay it on his side before pushing him onto his back. I don't straddle him this time, but I lean over the top of his body and kiss my way up to his face.

“You'll never know how much it means to me that you're keeping yourself aware of my boundaries and limits, but I think it's time you stop worrying about that.”

He goes to say something, but I stop him with a kiss that makes me wet.

“I'll let you know if I start to think we’re going too far, but that's not what's happening today.”

He quirks an eyebrow at me while I return to kissing down his body.

“Last time, you got to explore me.” I stop kissing to look him in the eyes when I finish, “And now, if you don't mind, I'd like to explore my mate.”

He growls, and the vibrations travel to all the sensitive nerve endings in my body, causing me to release a small whimper.

“Can I touch you, too?” he pleads.

“You can touch but not pleasurably.” I smile. “At least until I’ve finished my exploration.”

“Alright, my little miracle, I'm all yours.”