9. Ellie

Ellie

I missed him.

I missed him far more than I ever thought I'd miss anyone. Including Colton. While I still grieved for the loss of my relationship, my thoughts constantly roamed to Grey and his powerful arms around me, soothing my fears. Colton never did that. He failed to make me feel safe. Loved, yes, for the most part. He made me laugh, but then he made me cry.

Grey would never make me cry.

I sighed, forcing my attention to the job at hand. If I didn't work, I didn't get paid. Freelance, remote workers like me had few safety nets when it came to money and payments. As a social media manager for three companies, I needed to work more than eight hours a day, every day, to make rent.

Especially since I now had no one to share the cost with.

Pushing thoughts of Grey and Colton from my mind, I researched my article topic, and made some notes. My work soothed me, helped me to heal, to not think about Colton and Lindy and their betrayal. I hummed as I worked, fresh contentment seeping into my soul.

What will come, will come.

A hard rap came to my apartment's door.

Annoyed at the interruption, my first thought was to ignore the visitor. Most likely a neighbor wanting to borrow a cup of sugar and stay for an hour, talking. I shook my head and returned to work.

The knock came again, harder this time.

"Go away," I muttered. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

The idea that Grey had come to see me entered my head, but I dismissed it. He'd be too busy to just drop by, and if he wanted to see me, he'd call or text first. Not that he would. He's too old for me―we both knew it. My thoughts and daydreams regarding him were just that―dreams. I needed to move on from both father and son.

My apartment door's lock clicked.

Alarmed, I shot to my feet, fearing an intruder and casting about for a potential weapon. Why didn't I have a baseball bat handy? I live alone now! Outside the room I used as an office, footsteps brushed against the carpet. The front door closed.

What the hell? I reached for my phone in my pocket.

Tiptoeing to the doorway, I peered around the corner just as Colton called, "Ellie?"

My held breath rushed from my lungs in a sharp gust.

I paced into his view, my fear replacing my fury. "What are you doing here? Did you forget something?"

Garbed in a business suit, his tie loosened, Colton appeared as sinfully attractive as his old man. He stuffed his hands into his trouser pockets, a faint, little boy smile creasing his lips. He'd always used that smile as a weapon against me, forcing me to forgive him for his infractions in an instant.

My heart wanted to melt, gush in a torrent down to my stomach. I wanted to kiss him, to hug him, to smell his cologne. I craved his naked body in bed―

Until I remembered his sensual lips locked on Lindy's.

"I wanted to talk to you," he replied. "Is this a bad time?"

"It's always a bad time," I snapped, wishing for that baseball bat. "You don't live here anymore. You can't just walk in any time you please."

"My name's on the lease too."

"So?" I folded my arms over my chest despite the obvious body language telling him I was on the defensive. Maybe because I was on the defensive. "Leave the key and get out. I have to work."

Instead of obeying me, Colton ambled toward me, his easy smile widening. "You're so cute when you're mad."

"Oh, please," I snorted.

He lifted his hand to my face, toying with a tendril of my hair. "Please listen to me, Ellie."

"No."

"I still love you."

Gaping, I backed away, putting distance between us. "Sucks to be you, huh? You dumped me for that bitch Lindy, and now you get to live with that."

"Come on, Ellie," Colton said, his tone impatient. "Can't you give me a second chance? I made a huge mistake, I know that. Let me make amends, earn your trust again. I'm so sorry I hurt you. It'll never happen again."

His voice put me on edge. As though he believed that all he had to do was show me contrition, and I'd curl up and die for him. That all the hurt, the grief, the humiliation he put me through didn't truly matter since he apologized. That the sight of him beside the fire with Lindy, his coldness when he said he fell out of love with me, was no longer relevant, or important.

"No," I said softly, "it won't happen again."

"So, you'll take me back? Let me move back in?"

Colton smiled, pacing the few steps between us. I put my hand up, my palm out, and stopped him.

"You've done too much damage," I said. "No, you're not moving back in. What's done is done, and I'm not risking more hurt."

Reaching for my hand, Colton's sorrowful expression deepened, as though I'd just cut him. I jerked my hand out of his reach and put air between us again.

His mouth suddenly tightened. "Why can't you believe me, Ellie? I want you back, I love you."

"Your control freak is showing," I said. "Might want to cover it back up."

"I'm not trying to control you."

"No?" I laughed bitterly. "You think I'm an easy lay, that I'd swoon into your arms. You come over, break into my home, say the magic words and I'm your girl again. Easy peasy. Much easier than moving on and find a new squeeze since Lindy saw you for what you are: a predator."

Colton blinked. "A what? Is that what you think I am?"

"Yep."

Turning, he strode into my living room as though he belonged there, staring out the picture window. I wanted him out, and suspected the only way to evict him was to call the cops. But I didn't need the damn drama. So, I waited.

At last, Colton turned. His better-than-good-looking face had morphed into something akin to a haggard expression. As though my comment hit him where it hurt.

"I guess I need to be a better person," he said. "A better man."

I very nearly let myself get suckered into feeling bad for him, to start thinking of us as a couple again. To apologize, and hug him, kiss him. I opened my mouth to say…What? That I have faith that he'll become a star at self-improvement?

I pointed to the door. "Do it somewhere else."

"You've really become a cold bitch, Ellie."

"Now that's the pot calling the kettle black," I replied, smiling. "You obviously forgot, most conveniently I'm sure, how you informed me with all the warmth of an Arctic blizzard that you fell out of love with me. Months ago, wasn't it? Even as you were sticking your dick into me, you were sticking it into Lindy too. But I'm the cold bitch?"

Colton cheeks turned a deep, dark red as I spoke. "No, I didn't forget. I treated you badly and now I'm saying I was wrong. I'm sorry."

"You are sorry, Colt," I said with a harsh bark of laughter. "You're one sorry son of a bitch. Now leave before I call the cops. And leave the key. I don't have the cash to change the lock."

"Ellie―"

I reached for my cell. Colton lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender and walked slowly past me to the entrance. Taking his housekey, he dropped it on the table.

Opening my door, he hesitated long enough to give me a long, searching look. "I won't give up on you."

"Don't come back," I said lightly. "Be a good boy and find someone else to hassle."

He left, quietly closing the door behind him.

I crossed the apartment quickly, locked the door before he had a chance to change his mind. Listening, I heard his footsteps treading the hallway outside as he made his way down it. Breathing deeply, quelling the rioting in my stomach, I pocketed the key.

"Damn him," I muttered, leaning against the door. "Damn him, damn him. Just…why the fuck does he think he can sashay back into my life?"

My anger, my grief and pain, forced me into pacing. No way could I work now. I had the attention span of a gnat. I doubted I could sit still for even five minutes. Cursing Colton helped a little. Calling him every vile name in the book eased some of my stress.

Heading into the kitchen, I brewed chamomile tea, thinking the herbal remedy might calm me enough so I could once again focus on my project. As it steeped, I leaned against the counter, wishing for Grey's solid strength beside me more than ever.

"No, I won't call him," I murmured. "He doesn't need me whining to him about his kid. He might even take Colton's side ."

Thankfully, the tea did indeed calm my shattered nerves. Sitting once again at my computer, I resumed my research for the article. After a second cup, I hummed as I worked, feeling quite proud of how I handled Colton.

That idiot won't be back, he's not that stupid.

By early evening, I finished my task, and e-mailed it to my client. Hunger stirred vaguely, and I thought of a quick dinner break before starting my next project.

Just gotta check my inbox quick, see if I have any offers of more work…

My client's company e-mail popped up at the top of my unread pile.

"That was quick," I said, clicking on it.

As I read the short note, my blood grew cold. Like ice crystals in my veins, clogging them until nothing short of Drain-O might uncork my pulse. My breath halted abruptly, nor did it return for what seemed like an hour. I clenched my fists so hard my fingernails made deep, crescent shapes in my flesh.

Dear Ellie, I regret to inform you we will no longer need your services. Unfortunately, we cannot currently pay our outstanding invoice for work in progress. Good luck in the future.

"Oh my God."

I sagged into my chair. These people owed me thousands. Thousands . I'd received their comptroller's assurance I'd be paid promptly. I counted on that money to pay my rent. My bills. And put aside the extra for a rainy day.

"Oh my God, how can they do this?"

Because they can. Because they've likely done it before. Not just to freelancers like me, but to anyone small enough and unable to hire an attorney and sue them.

I pondered taking them to small claims court where attorneys didn't matter. I might win in that event. I have their signed contract, their comptroller's promise of payment in a written e-mail. I also looked at my calendar. I had five days before the rent was due. Groaning, I covered my face with my hands.

My apartment's management company did not accept late payments. If I didn't pay on time, they'd start eviction proceedings. Greedy, inhumane, and soulless bastards that they were.

"I'm in so much shit."

Desperate enough to think of Colton and his need to have me back, I almost called him. Let him pay the rent, deal with him until I didn't need him anymore, then give him the boot.

I can't do that, it's fucking wrong.

I had no family. Thanks to Colton, I no longer had any friends, either. No one I could turn to for help. Staring at my cell in panic, I dared recall what Grey said to me the day he dropped me off. Call me. If you need anything, including rent money.

I had to.

Biting my lip, I found Grey's number in my contacts, then clicked it. Breathless, sweating, hating myself, hating the world…I listened to the line ring.