14. Grey

Grey

S idelined, I sat in the penalty box watching the Vipers practice. The hospital released me only a few hours ago, and Coach Hunt had picked me up to bring me to the rink. As I'd never pass medical, I sat, fuming, furious, and utterly helpless.

Ellie didn't answer any of my five or six messages, pleading for her to call me. All I received, early this morning, was a brief text.

I'm fine, leave me alone.

Inwardly, I raged at Colton, at his barbaric cruelty and how easily he'd ripped Ellie to shreds. Sure, I knew she still grieved over his loss despite never wanting him back in her life. But to drive the knife so deeply into her heart with such a callous indifference…I swore I didn't know my son at all. Did I ever know him? Truly? That kid dressed for the boardroom yesterday wasn't my son. That kid was a stranger, a mask that looked, talked, and moved like Colton. Still, a stranger, nonetheless.

"Hey, man." Steve skated into the penalty box to sit beside me.

I watched Coach race up and down the ice, swearing, ordering, cajoling a better effort from the Vipers, and barely took in anything I saw. Only when Steve nudged me with his shoulder did I look at him.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. Just sore."

"When do you think the doc will pass you?"

"I'm out for at least a week."

Steve hissed through his teeth. "You're lucky if that's all you're out. Ribs gotta mend."

"I'll treat ‘em with kid gloves."

"Ratcliffe, you stupid shit, are you blind?" Coach's bark came, "You let that puck get by you like a goddamn amateur. Pay attention and stop your goddamn daydreaming." He skated past, still yelling at the hapless Ratcliffe.

I felt no amusement at Ratcliffe's bungling, nor did I feel much compassion for him. Still a rookie in many ways, he had much to learn about playing with the pros. He had raw talent, however, and a gift for reading the players' body language. He knew what an opposing skater would do before the guy even did.

"He's good," Steve commented. "He'll go far." Smirking, he nudged me again. "He'll be another Grey Aldine."

"Maybe."

"Hey, that cute chick with you at the hospital…wasn't she the one with you in Boston?"

"Yeah. Colton's ex."

Steve's silence echoed across the rink. I sent him an exasperated glance.

"He dumped her in the middle of nowhere," I went on. "She was walking in that awful cold and wind. Remember?"

"Yeah."

"I missed the plane and had no choice but to bring her along. We're friends. She saw the news and came to see how I was."

"Colton dumped her ? Just like that?"

"He's an idiot."

"I'd say so. She's a real hottie. And seems very nice, too. We chatted a little at the hospital."

I said nothing else. What happened between Ellie and me wasn't Steve's business. Nor would I want him to know. Steve was a good guy, and gave hell on skates, but he sure loved his gossip. Had I told him I not just slept with Ellie, and was falling deeply in love with her, the entire team would know within hours.

That shit, on top of my worry over Ellie, I did not need.

Eventually, Steve clumped back onto the ice, and another Viper sat beside me to rest. More than ever, I needed the focus and concentration on my job, not just to allay my fears, but to work my sore muscles. Sitting like a damn spectator messed with all my sensibilities.

Rising, I strode to the locker room and donned my skates. Wearing no jersey, just my jeans and a sweatshirt, I got out onto the ice.

Naturally, Coach saw me and exploded. "Aldine! What the fuck do you think you're doing? You just got out of the goddamn hospital an hour ago."

"I'm just working my legs, Coach," I replied. "I won't practice, just skate around the perimeter to stay in what shape I can."

My logic worked on him. He sent me a sharp nod, then returned to swearing at a fresh victim. Staying out of the way, I skated leisurely around the outer rim of the rink, half watching the practice while thinking of Ellie. I needed to see her. To hold her. But of course, without a vehicle, and doomed to stay at the rink until practice was over, I couldn't.

She won't answer her door. I already know that. She told me to leave her alone, so that's what I need to do. For a while.

My ribs screeched their annoyance for a short time, then my rushing blood soothed their irritation. As I loosened up, I worked on moves I'd seen figure skaters perform. Like the spin that landed the puck in the net, I dug the tip of my right blade into the ice and swirled cautiously.

Shit! It worked! I tried it again before my blade collapsed under me. Though I had few desires to become a figure skater, swift turns and spins might baffle my opponents, if even for a split second. That instant might be enough to slam the puck into their net.

Shunting Ellie and my worries to the back of my head, I practiced spinning turns as best I could despite the pain, swooping in such a tight circle I grew dizzy, then breaking from the turn to skate faster than a bird flew. I'm nothing if not determined.

Floating backward on only a single skate, I suddenly realized the entire practice had ceased.

Vipers, Coach, assistant coaches, employees, had all paused to stare.

At me.

I drew slowly to a halt. "What?"

"Come on, Twinkle Toes," Coach snapped with disgust. "We're done for today."

***

What do I do about Ellie?

At the moment, there was nothing I could do.

With the dusk came yet another slashing snowstorm. As Coach drove me through the blowing ice, plows with their flashing lights heading the other way, I wondered if we were in for another blizzard.

One-on-one, Coach Hunt dropped his hard ass attitude.

"You did good today," he said. "You impressed even me."

"Thanks. I thought that sharp spins might throw the opposition for a loop."

"It worked against Toronto." He shot me a wide grin, his teeth gleaming green in the dash lights. "The higher ups are going to offer you a new contract at the end of the season."

As I half expected the team owners to drop me, given my age, I felt no little shock at this announcement. "You don't think I'm getting too old for this?"

"Not me. For an old man, you skate rings around the kids. They think they can do what you do." He made a disgusted sound through his teeth. "They'll get hurt. Or worse, kill themselves."

"They'll learn."

"Yeah, right. Look, when you do retire, one day, I hope you'll stay on. Coach the next generation of Vipers."

"Teach them how to skate like a ballerina?"

He snorted laughter. "Yeah. You're gonna set a trend, Grey. Soon, all pro hockey players will learn figure skating just so they can outskate the opposition."

"Some teams demand figure skating exercises."

"Don't tempt me, I might insist on that, too."

"I think the Vipers should start, Coach," I said slowly. "It develops certain habits, muscles we may not use in hockey, enables us to make the ice our own."

He sighed. "I'm old school, you know that. But if you turn the contract down, maybe you'll work for us, and teach those skills."

I gazed out the window at the sheeting snow and ice, thinking of Ellie. If I no longer skated in the limelight, I might be able to court her openly. To let myself fall headlong into love. To have kids again, to maybe marry her. Of course, all that depends on whether Ellie wanted me to love her, wanted to love me back.

Right now, that's not looking too good.

"Jerry is behind us with your car," Coach said as he drove to my house and parked. "Don't drive unless you're off pain meds and clear headed. Got it?"

"Yes, sir." I sent him a quirky grin, then let myself out.

The freezing wind nearly knocked me off my feet as I shut the door and walked toward my car as Jerry pulled into my driveway. I accepted the keys and got in behind the wheel to park it inside my garage. Coach honked briefly as he took Jerry and himself into the screeching storm.

Shivering made my ribs ache with a fierce intensity. I let myself into my house, and belatedly thought of Colton. He hadn't returned to the hospital, nor did he call or text. And it didn't look like he'd come home after work. The kitchen, illuminated only by the light over the stove, showed me only darkness beyond.

Switching lights on, I made a brief search downstairs for him, and decided he hadn't returned to my house. Shrugging, I went back to the kitchen and poured a tumbler of whiskey. The mix of narcotics and alcohol didn't bother me at all. I'd taken both for too many years to let the combo stop me now.

I shed my coat, hung it in the closet, then picked up the TV's remote. I sank with a wince to the sofa, and channel surfed for a time. Selecting an action movie, I relaxed and sipped my drink, my thoughts always on Ellie. How she was. Did I dare try to call her again. Did she truly not want to see me again?

We did agree to walk away from each other.

"I fucked up, didn't I?" a voice said.

I didn't bother to turn around.

"I'll say." I sipped my whiskey.

Still garbed in his day job suit, his blond hair tousled, his eyes bloodshot, Colton ambled into my line of sight. He'd shoved his hands into his trouser pockets, but I noticed the bulge of his clenched fists.

"She won't return my calls. Or my texts," he said.

"You expect her to?"

"How else can I apologize?"

I clicked the mute button on the remote and eyed him. "You don't. You walk away from her; walk away from the damage you've done." My anger at his blatant and icy cruelty rose. "You're an asshole. I saw it for myself. Fuck, I can't believe you said what you did. What were you thinking?"

He shrugged, his eyes on the silent TV. "I wasn't. I got jealous. She's so comfortable around you, but she hates my guts. I guess I wanted to make her hurt for rejecting me, and for not letting me make everything up to her."

I snorted in disbelief. "You're an absolutely stupid and evil little boy. Ellie was in love with you, and all you do is stab her in the heart. The rampant cruelty in which you treat her, I sometimes wonder if you're really my son."

"Oh, I am." A faint smile flicked over his lips, but he still stared at the TV. "I'm just like you. You taught me by example. How to be cruel…how to hate."

"That's bullshit. You got that from your mother."

Colton slowly turned his head to meet my gaze. His expression didn't change, yet his blue eyes hardened like chips of ice. "Don't you dare slander her. Don't you dare. I loved her and you didn't. She left. You never tried to stop her."

"God," I exploded, standing, ignoring the flash of pain that jabbed me in my ribs. "You'll blame anyone except yourself, Colton. You're so quick to point your finger, make accusations without evidence, and never once look inside yourself. You're purely innocent, aren't you? The angel. Ever the goddamn victim. You make me sick to just look at you."

His smile, having faded as I yelled, returned with a malicious edge to it. "I do? That's just fine, old man. Just perfect. I'm disowning you. You're no longer my father."