1. Ellie

Ellie

S hoot me. Someone, please shoot me.

I sat near enough to the blazing bonfire to be warm yet stayed outside the ring of "friends". Huddling in my thick winter coat, I wished, most fervently, I hadn't agreed to come on this camping trip. In January. In the southern Vermont woods.

It wasn't just the arctic night that troubled me. Oh, no. It's the arctic freeze deep within my heart that chilled me through and through. You see, my friends―and I use that term loosely―ignore my misery, pretending they don't know the reason why. None of them want to get involved. It's sort of like that situation where a person is attacked on the street, but no one in the immediate vicinity will offer help, or even call the cops.

"He's a prick," a voice said.

I glanced up to discover my depression had been noticed and elicited a response. Jen, a casual friend from college and a member of my circle, sat on the dead log beside me. Taking the beer can from my hands, she pushed a mug of hot mulled wine from the pot close to the fire in its place.

"I'd dump him if I were you," she said.

"Yeah?" I sipped the spicy wine in appreciation and gratitude. "Somehow I don't think I have much choice."

"Probably not. Those two will be performing the horizontal bop before too much longer."

That stung. I shifted uneasily on the log and took another warming drink. "Sure looks like it."

In silence, Jen and I watched my boyfriend, Colton Aldine, smile, laugh, flirt, and sit so close together that their bodies almost melded with my friend, Lindy Parker. Without shame, Lindy leaned against him, her expression adoring, her cheeks flushed, and shattered our friendship.

"They won't hide it, either" Jen continued as though my heart wasn't breaking. "It's a one room cabin. We'll be smothering one another with our sleeping bags tonight."

Ten of us, all college pals, had reconnected to spend the weekend in a remote cabin in Montpelier. A fun time, right? It started out that way. Colton had driven four of us down in his truck. We unloaded sleeping bags, coolers, and booze into the cabin along with Jen, Lindy, Tommy, John, and the others.

I'd gazed at the cabin empty of furniture with only a wood stove for heat, and thought we'd survive comfortably enough. Between the stove and body heat, we'd sleep cozily despite the rough and rustic setting.

Maybe I should have been clued in when we first arrived. Colton hardly spoke on the drive up, ignored my attempt to take his hand as we stood inside for the first time, laughing and joking about our survival skills in the wild woods. I should've known.

I drank another gulp of my cooling wine and nodded. "Not much room in there."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Jen watching my face.

"Are you okay, Ellie?"

"No." I took another drink before the heat vanished. "Can't say that I am."

"I guess that was a stupid question." Jen sighed. "I'm so sorry. We all thought he adored you. That you two would marry, have rug rats. That's probably not likely now, is it?"

"I've been getting the cold shoulder lately," I admitted. "I should have seen it coming. Maybe I felt it, even if I didn't quite see it. I was losing him and too dumb to recognize what was happening."

"But with Lindy?" Jen snorted. "Christ, you two were tight. Colton is an arrogant, mean-ass bastard to treat you like this. Lindy doesn't have the sense God gave a baby goat. Cute, bouncy, and no brains whatsoever."

Jen's analogy should have brought a chuckle, or at least a smile. But I hurt far too badly to find the humor in it. Nor could I defend Lindy. Jen's analysis was dead on target.

"Need more wine?" Jen asked.

"No, thanks. I'm good."

She rose to pace into the ring of laughter, talking friends close to the bonfire, and dipped the ladle into the pot. I shifted my gaze from her adding wine to her mug.

Engaged in a passionate, tongue down one another's throats kiss, Colton and Lindy earned shocked stares, and not just from me. I caught several glances shot over shoulders in my direction even as my stomach turned upside-down.

I can't take this anymore.

Leaving my comfy log and the fire's heat, my chest aching, I fled down the pitch-black path. My eyes blurred with tears I tried to hold back. Stumbling over rocks and dead tree limbs, I followed the burbling sound of a stream. At its bank, the moon gave enough light for me to see the water rushing over boulders, crashing around nearly sunken logs.

Shivering from the cold, holding my arms tightly around my chest to maintain body heat, I perched myself on a boulder. High above the pines and evergreens, the stars gleamed down like brilliant crystals. Had I not been so unhappy, I might have found pleasure in gazing up at them. Only when one got away from the city lights could stars be seen so clearly.

"Ellie?"

I stood up and spun around at the sound of his voice. Colton.

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"I saw you leave." He paced close to me, tall, broad shouldered, wickedly good looking.

In school, every girl wanted to sleep with him, and all the guys wanted to be him. The son of a pro hockey star, Colton had it all―the money, the looks, the future. I'd fallen head over heels the moment we met.

Blond, blue-eyed, a thick dick that satisfied me in bed, Colton was my everything. My world, my future, my heart. Even as he stood, silent, at my side, my soul cried out for him to love me. To never forsake me. To apologize for his drunken behavior and tell me he loved me.

That didn't happen.

"I guess it's over," he said at last. "I'm moving on."

Bitter cold sliced through my last hopes. A crushing pain hit my chest until I couldn't breathe. I struggled to inhale, to cry, to scream, to deny this was really happening. But I did nothing. I stood beside him, hurting, and gazed at the rushing water, splashing silver under the moonlight.

"Why?" I finally choked.

His coat rustled as he shrugged. "I fell out of love with you. A while ago."

"A while ago? How long is that?"

"I don't know. A few months."

My neck creaking audibly, I turned my head to stare into his face. "Months? And all that time you've been fucking me? Letting me believe you loved me?"

"Yeah, so call me a jerk. I don't really care. I suppose I should say I'm sorry for letting you down, but I don't care about that either."

A slow, burning rage built a fresh fire amid the hurt in my chest. I clenched my hands into fists, watching the shadows play over his face, turning him into a monster. A monster who brought me to the heights of orgasmic pleasure, using me until he found a new squeeze.

In Lindy. My friend.

"Have you been sleeping with Lindy behind my back?" I demanded, my voice almost unrecognizable to myself.

Colton's chin dipped in a nod. "Yeah."

"For months ?"

"Pretty much. We hit it off at the party you and I went to last fall. She's good in bed. Well, so are you, but I was getting tired of the same old, same old."

The callousness, his dismissal of my feelings, his cold attitude combined to fuel my fury.

I stood beside the stream in both disbelief and believing every word he said. "You fucking bastard."

"Sorry and all. You're a nice girl, Ellie. You'll find another dude to fuck."

"You piece of shit!" I screamed, probably loud enough to be heard at the camp. "You goddamned asshole!"

Before I thought myself capable of it, I stepped a pace away from him.

Then I body slammed him as hard as I could.

Caught off guard, Colton stumbled, tripping over rocks, and fell into the stream with a yelp of surprise. I nearly went in with him, but kept my footing, and watched with satisfaction as he floundered in the icy water. Whether he got hurt on the rocks, I didn't care.

"You bitch!" he yelled as I turned to stride back up the path. "I could freeze to death."

"Eat shit and die!" I shrieked, and started to run.

Had I been less emotional and more practical, I might not have done what I did. I entered the camp as Lindy and several others stood up, gaping as I dashed past them, past the fire and the cabin, past the parked vehicles and into the night. I heard Colton's yells of fury, someone shouting at me to not go, to come back.

Naturally, I ignored them.

The dirt road leading from the cabin to the highway was wide and clear of obstructions. I saw fairly well by the moonlight, and slowed my pace to a fast walk. My running had warmed me considerably, but I kept my hands in my pockets as I walked the few miles to the highway. I wore no gloves, and in that cold, I might get frostbite.

"That was stupid," I muttered, my breath steaming in front of my face.

Still, I wouldn't go back. A part of me realized none of my "friends," not even Jen, had gotten into a car to come after me. I might die from exposure for all they cared. That hurt nearly as much as Colton's and Lindy's betrayal.

A few vehicles, headlights piercing the dark, passed me by as I walked along the verge. None stopped. The full and stark reality of what I'd done crept past my hurt, and stubborn pride. I truly could die of exposure. I walked in the bone-chillingly cold darkness, miles from the closest town. I had no money, no credit card, no means of paying for a room if I did make it to the small town up the road.

Sure, I had my cell. Yet, had no one to call for help. I had no family, and all my friends sat around the bonfire commiserating with Colton because I'd dumped him in the drink. Real fear sank into my bones. True, I had little to fear from any wildlife. There were no wolves out here, and bears slept the winter away.

But predators didn't always walk on four legs.

I trudged into the middle of nowhere, utterly alone.

Walking faster, I kept myself warm while hoping to reach my destination more quickly – did I have a destination? I wondered if a kind soul might let me sleep on their couch, then give me a ride home.

What home? I shared an apartment with that no good, cheating piece of shit Colton.

A car whizzed by, and its brake lights burned red in the darkness. My heart thudded heavily in my chest; my mouth dried of whatever spit I had left. Hitchhiking had grown so dangerous that only the bravest, or stupidest, chanced it. Serial killers roamed the highways in search of their next victim.

Everyone knew that.

The car stopped, then the white reverse lights came on. I thought of fleeing into the woods, hiding until the driver drove away. Instead, I stood, frozen in place and so cold I knew I'd never make it to the town up the road. Not outside a body bag, that was. The vehicle's engine growled like a beast from a nightmare as it backed toward me.

Run! Don't stand here like a deer waiting to get shot.

Terrified I'd soon stare into the barrel of a gun, here the gruff order for me to get into the car…I didn't dare move as the car pulled beside me. As though by not moving the driver wouldn't see me. I'd be as invisible as a rabbit under a thicket.

The car stopped.

The passenger window rolled down.