Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Harper

I stood barefoot in Meli's backyard, the stones of the patio cold under my feet, my arms wrapped around my middle, staring up at the stars.

Everything was cold; it was a chilly November evening, yeah, but more than that, my insides felt cold. But I wasn't crying, which surprised me. I think I was too numb to cry.

"Well, this is a bust," muttered my sister behind me, where she'd been working on the firepit. "I dunno how Cairo can just snap his fingers and get this sucker working."

"It's okay." I wrapped my arms tighter around myself. "We don't need it."

"I might not, but you're going to waste away and freeze to death." My sister stepped up beside me and wrapped an arm around my middle, then laid her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry about tonight."

I wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault, that I would've run into him eventually. But I just didn't have the energy. Today had been a hell of a day.

Giza.

That was his name.

It hadn't seemed important all those months ago. It was only after, after I realized what an incredible experience we'd shared, that I'd wished I'd asked. And then a few weeks later, when I realized what those little lines on the pregnancy test meant, I'd really wished I'd known his name.

Apparently not very much. You could've asked Cairo at any point.

That's right. I could have.

But after a while, after that initial burst of panic, I hadn't. I'd retreated into myself and decided this was my problem. My problem to solve or to deal with.

It was only tonight I really came to terms with tracking down my baby daddy.

And then, a few hours later, to be faced with Giza himself…

He doesn't want you to face this yourself .

No.

No, Giza wanted me to be his…wife?

Mate. He called you Mate .

Right. Just like Meli and Cairo were Mated. Just like Ashlyn and Thebes.

Well, Mister Giza, what my sister and her Mate have is more than just mind-blowing sex . Sure, Giza and I shared that, but how in the world could anyone possibly consider us Mated just because of that?

"I can feel you getting angry," came my sister's warning in the dark. "Your muscles go all tense."

"Sorry," I muttered, trying to breathe deeply .

After a moment, I felt her shrug. "I'd rather you get angry than get sad again."

I snorted. "Me too."

"I'm sorry it happened tonight," Meli whispered into the darkness. "If I'd known Giza was the father of your baby, I wouldn't have set you up to run into him if you didn't want to run into him."

Sighing, I admitted the truth. "No, I'm the one who's sorry for not telling you what happened. I should've just asked you who he was. It was your wedding, after all."

I felt her stiffen, but she didn't loosen her hold. "You boinked Giza at my wedding?"

"Well…after your wedding." I shrugged, a hint of a rueful smile tugging at my lips. "I had a bit to drink, he'd had a lot to drink, and I was feeling…reckless."

"And since you'd just dumped Simon…?"

Of course she'd see that. "And maybe a little lonely. A little…" Crap, what was the word? I shrugged. "Imperfect?"

"Ah." Meli was still for a moment, then offered, "You had the perfect job, the perfect fiancé, and you were planning the perfect wedding. Then your annoyingly imperfect little sister finds herself a Mate, gets married, proves to you what real love is, you realize you didn't have it, so you dumped your loser fiancé and were feeling a little reckless?"

Was that laughter in her voice? I relaxed slightly and shifted so I could peer down at her in the darkness suspiciously. "Yes, something like that."

The noise she made was definitely on the verge of being a giggle. "So what you're saying is that you were jealous of me , and wanted to be more like me for a change?"

"Oh, Melinda," I sighed, unwrapping my arms from my belly so I could reach around her and squeeze her against my stomach and chest. "I've always been jealous of you. "

"Really?" her voice was muffled against my shoulder, where she'd laid her head.

"You're beautiful, inside and out, Meli, and you have this amazing ability to show that without any effort. People like you, and you don't even try. And you like yourself—that's a rare, remarkable gift." I think I could only admit these things out here, in the dark, not looking at her. "Hell yeah I've been jealous of that."

She was quiet, as if considering my words. Then she said, "I'm not perfect like you."

"That's the point. I'm not perfect either— Well, okay, Mom always said I was lucky to be born tall and blonde, but everything else—the job, the grades, the social standing—I've worked for. And I don't like it."

Her head came up. "You don't like your job?"

"I—" My mouth was already forming the words to deny the claim, but then I thought about it. Really thought about it, and I closed my lips in confusion.

"Harper?"

"I don't know," I finally admitted. "Up until this moment, I thought I did. But my colleagues are all cutthroat and snooty. I only made partner by being more cutthroat and more snooty than they are."

My sister laid her head back down. "I think you mean snootier . You'd know that if you let yourself read for fun more often."

I knew she was insinuating supreme court transcripts weren't fun, and my lips twitched again. "Yes, but I talk for a living, and more snooty had a pleasing symmetry."

"Fair point, well made," murmured Meli. "I don't think you're snooty, for what it's worth."

"You haven't seen me in the courtroom. I don't…" Since tonight seemed to be the time for revelations, I took a deep breath and faced something I'd been suspecting for a while. "I don't think I like who I am in the courtroom. Years of perfect grades and perfect attendance and perfect sucking up, all through undergrad and law school and…what? Now I'm a person whom I don't necessarily like ?"

A pregnant person. A person who'd just been publicly claimed as a Mate?

Just like that, I was irritated again.

"You're doing the symmetry thing again." Meli's head came up and swung toward the house. "Cairo's home."

How could she tell? Must be some sort of Mated thing; it wasn't the first time I'd seen the two of them just know where the other was.

Do all Mated pairs have that ability? Do you know where Giza is ?

What? No . No, no, I wasn't Giza's Mate just because he said I was. Just because we had sex.

Mind-blowingly amazing sex .

Okay, yes, mind-blowingly amazing sex.

Still not enough to make us Mates.

The back door slid open, and Cairo's shadow stepped outside. He said nothing, but stomped over to the firepit as Meli and I slowly untangled ourselves. I was feeling vulnerable and raw and was glad when my sister's hand slipped into mine.

Meli had been right; it took Cairo all of thirty seconds to take the pile of wood and kindling she'd made and turn it into a small blaze. He stood staring down at it for a moment, then straightened and turned to us.

The firelight did weird things to his features, and I found myself studying him in fascination.

He took a deep breath, shoulders straining against his T-shirt, then growled, "You're carrying Giza's kit?"

The question was unexpected, and Meli must've thought so too. "How'd you find out? "

"Sakkara called me on my way home from the debate." His gaze hadn't left mine. "It's true? You've been living in my home while carrying my brother's son?"

I startled at the word brother. Giza wasn't really Cairo's brother, was he? No, no, I knew enough from Meli's stories to know that's just something they said since they'd been part of the same cohort to cross through the veil into our world.

He was expecting an answer.

I raised my chin. "I didn't think it mattered. It's my baby."

"Didn't think it— fuck ." Turning away, Cairo dragged his hand through his hair, and beside me, Meli murmured, "Oh no."

When I looked down at her, I could see her worrying her lower lip, thanks to the firelight.

She glanced at me, then back to her Mate. "He's really angry. He's trying not to scare you, but—"

"Of course I'm really fucking angry!" Cairo bellowed, spinning back toward us, tugging at his shaggy hair. He took a deep breath and scrubbed that hand down his face, as if trying to calm down. "Giza's Mate is living under my roof, and—"

"I'm not his Mate!" I interrupted and stepped forward. Part of me—the part of me that watched myself perform fearlessly, snootily, in the courtroom—wondered if maybe I shouldn't piss off an angry orc further. But the rest of me reacted instinctively. "I'm in control of my own life!"

It wasn't until I'd blurted it out that I realized I was voicing my fear—fear of having someone else in my life who would try to control me—and I pressed my lips together.

"Mates talk shit out, Harper," he growled, unimpressed by my defiance. "That's the whole point! You're partners! "

"I'm not his partner, I'm not his Mate!" I was struggling to keep my tone even, reasonable…and not lapse into hysterics. "We had sex. That was it, Cairo." I took a deep breath, trying to explain. "After your wedding, I was looking for—for an escape, I guess." An escape from perfection . An escape from always making the right choices. "So I did something wild and a little crazy. And he was willing."

"I'll say." Shaking his head, Cairo threw himself down onto the bench he'd welded from pieces of a two-seater airplane. The artwork was surprisingly delicate, but also fairly comfortable. He plopped his elbows on his knees and locked his gaze on mine.

In the firelight, his eyes seemed to glow.

"You need to understand, Harper. That kit you carry is only the second human-orc crossing in this world right now. Our legends tell us that such pairings are possible, but they've only ever happened in our world, when males brought human females to live with us." He took a deep breath, but his shoulders were the only things that moved as he held my gaze. "And such conceptions only happen between Mates."

Giza had said something like that, hadn't he? That couldn't be right.

I shook my head, not understanding, but my sister squeezed my hand.

"It's true, Harp," she said softly.

"No." There. Just deny it. That was like lawyering 101, right? "No."

She sighed and tugged me around to face her. "Yes. A human female conceiving an orc's child is impossible, like biologically . Unless she's Mated to the father. I told you, finding your fated Mate is more than just love. It's…biology."

My eyes had widened, and my free hand now cupped my stomach. The chill from earlier was back, despite the growing blaze.

Meli nodded, almost reluctantly. "If I'd known the father of your baby was orc, I would've told you what that meant."

"I didn't think…" I shook my head, then squeezed my eyes shut, a feeling of defeat stealing over me. "It's my baby," I whispered.

"Except it's his too," Meli whispered right back. "Now that he knows about it."

My son .

That's what Giza had yelled at the assembly, in front of everyone.

My son .

My fingers curled around my baby bump. Can you hear me, little one?

I'd been lost for so long, and it seemed unfair that as soon as I'd made the decision to find my baby's father, the universe chose the timing.

You don't have to have a relationship with Giza, even if he is your Mate .

But I'd seen what Meli and Cairo had…what the other Mated pairs on the island had. Did I want that? I'd only just dumped Simon because I didn't want to be tied to him forever.

Suddenly, Cairo cleared his throat. "You can't stay here any longer."

My eyes popped open just as Meli yanked her hand from mine. "Cairo!" she scolded, stomping across the patio toward him. "Don't say that! Of course my sister can stay in our home!"

Shaking his head, Cairo slowly stood to intercept her, to pull Meli against his side. The whole time, his gaze was on me. "No. No, she can't. She needs to stay with her Mate."

"Giza isn't my Mate," I whispered, feeling hopeless. Helpless.

Meli was squirming to get out of her Mate's hold. "Cairo!" She poked him in the side, and he winced, but his determined expression didn't change. "She's my sister!"

"And she's my brother's Mate. He deserves happiness, the same I've found with you." Finally, he dropped his gaze to Meli, who sort of melted with a soft noise at his small smile. "If I can facilitate that, I will."

I could see my sister wavering. Must be part of that Mate bond thing, or maybe it was just because they knew each other so well. So I stepped toward the fire, my expression already going mulish, I could tell.

"I'll stay at the bed and breakfast," I announced. "If I can't stay with you, I'll get out of your hair—"

"The bed and breakfast won't let you check in this late," Cairo announced without tearing his gaze from Meli.

Who blurted, " Tonight , Cairo?" She was echoing my own despairing thought.

He nodded roughly. "Tonight. Now ." Finally he lifted his eyes back to me. "Meli will help you pack a bag, and I'll drive you over. We'll do your laundry and bring the rest of your things tomorrow."

My mouth opened to argue.

My mouth closed because I realized I had not one good thing to say. Not one logical argument, not one defense.

I was tired . I was tired and weak, and I'd just been told I was being kicked out.

"Fine," I whispered, defeated.

Fine . This was Giza's baby, wasn't it? I guess I could let him share some of the responsibility. The least he could do was put me up for a night or two. Then I'd get a room in the B&B or head back to the mainland for the rest of my Holy Shit What Are You Going To Do With Your Life, Harper sabbatical.

Fine. He wanted to claim this baby as his? It was his right. He could put up with its pregnant mother for a bit.

And deep down, in the very back of my mind, was the memory of our time together. Giza had treated me gently, reverently.

Maybe I needed a bit of that in my life right now.