Chapter 14

Zoe

I knew I was grinning like an idiot as the boat approached. How could I not? Seamus was safe, Lux had come after me, and I was safe.

Safe because my Mate had rescued me.

I was still sort of flying high.

Or maybe that was exhaustion mixed with saltwater inhalation?

Luxor's hands went to my waist, lifting me again even though it pushed him farther into the water. His legs were frantically kicking beneath the surface—I could feel the currents in the water and in his muscles. Each time he lifted me, his mouth and nose went under, and he'd have to kick extra-hard to rise high enough for a breath.

And I wanted to tell him to stop, to worry about himself, but I also knew, with a certainty which surprised me, that everything would be okay very soon.

He lifted me, and I waved my free hand back and forth in big sweeps, grinning even more broadly when the boat veered toward us.

"They see us," I panted happily, patting Lux's head. "It's okay, they're coming."

Seamus gave a happy little bark.

When he lowered me back to the water, I placed my hands on Lux's shoulder, trapping the pup in between us, and met his eyes. My flipflops were long lost to the current, and my dress blouse was almost certainly ruined. The nicest description of my hair would likely be "sodden"—I won't mention what the meanest description would be—and I was sure my mascara was down around my lips somewhere.

But I did my best to match Lux's steady breathing and tried to kick beneath the water the way I know he was. Yeah, he was still doing the majority of the whole keeping-us-afloat thing, but you know what?

I was happy.

Like, really stinking happy.

My chest was filled with it, as if the happiness—the light —could make me float out here in the salt water.

Lux was my light.

"What?" he suddenly barked. "Why are you grinning like that?"

"Because." If possible, my smile grew. "I only just realized I love you."

"Of course you love me," he snorted. "I jumped in after you, and I'm saving your cute butt."

I laughed; how could I not? It was clear his bad mood was still very much dug in. I leaned forward just far enough to brush a salt-flavored kiss on his nose. "Yes, Lux. That's why I love you. Not your big heart or your sense of humor or the way you always see the good in everything."

Was it just the fact that we were Mated that made me see him this way? When obviously he didn't see it himself? I didn't care.

I had the rest of my life to convince him.

As he kicked and paddled and frowned in confusion, I felt like laughing again.

Forget being a librarian. Forget leaving Eastshore. I loved this place, and I loved Lux.

I had a new dream!

And I was happy about it, dammit! I was absolutely going to ignore the little twinge of something deep in my chest when I thought of never working full-time in a library. I didn't need to go full-time! I could be totally satisfied just volunteering full-time with Mrs. Albee in the Eastshore library and working at the restaurant.

As long as I had Lux, I'd be happy!

Right?

Shut up, you're totally happy giving up your dream!

Yeah.

Yeah…

I didn't feel quite so light anymore.

As the boat approached, Seamus began to bark in that wild and frantic way of his, which was only possible because he'd perched his front paws on Lux's head and was trying to hump the poor guy's ear.

"Hey!" called Giza from the bow of the small fishing boat they'd commandeered. "Need a ride?"

"Ha-ha," grumbled Lux. He was frowning, which looked wrong on him, and I decided it was probably from exhaustion. "Get us out of here."

"Hello," I called up as the boat pulled up alongside us. "Fancy meeting you here. Want a dog?"

Sakkara had already cut the engine and was leaning over the gunwale to reach for Seamus, so I carefully untangled him from Lux's hair and passed him up. The movement pushed my poor Mate under the water again.

When he bobbed up, he turned me to face Giza, who was reaching down with both hands. I reached up as Lux lifted me, and then I was flying through the air to splash down in a puddle on the deck.

Ignoring my salty stickiness and the fact my blouse was now clinging to me indecently, I scrambled on all fours for the stern, where Luxor was currently heaving himself aboard, causing the boat to rock.

He flopped over onto his back, breathing heavily, as soon as he reached the main deck. I crawled beside him and clasped his hand as I leaned over him. His other arm reached around my back to pull me closer.

Blinking salt water out of my eyes, I glanced up at Sakkara, who was wrapping a now-shivering Seamus in some kind of tarp he'd found, and smiled wearily. "Thank you."

As the not-quite-as-dapper-as-usual male nodded, Giza crouched beside us. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," groaned Luxor, eyes closed.

My lips twitched. "We'll be okay. Lux kept us both afloat."

"You did good, T'mak ," intoned Giza, placing his palm on Lux's shoulder. "That was terrifying."

"It was," I agreed, but Giza lifted his gaze to mine, and I could see I was missing something.

His tone was serious when he explained, "This was how we lost Dahsur and Stephanie. Too close anyhow."

I felt Lux shudder beneath me, but he didn't open his eyes. I glanced between the other two men. "Who?"

It was Sakkara who answered, feigning great interest in the dog in his arms. "Emmy's real parents. Dahsur went back into the water for Stephanie…" He trailed off, then shuddered and began to wipe down Seamus, as if that would help distract him.

Giza nodded. "Sakkara saw it happen, but he has shared the story and the experience so I can record Dahsur's bravery. We lost them both that day, and watching Luxor go into the water after you was a chilling reminder."

"We're fine," Lux growled. I glanced down in time to see his eyes open as he glared up at Giza. "I'm fine. You don't have to fuss over me."

Giza patted his shoulder again before removing his hand. "It isn't such a bad thing to be fussed over, T'mak ."

I don't know what that meant, but Lux growled again and pushed himself to a sitting position, nudging me upright as well. He wasn't fine , no matter what he claimed.

"You know—" I began, at the same time Giza said, "Luxor—"

And Lux cut us both off with a slash of his palm. "Fine! I'm not fine. I'm angry and confused and knotted up inside. I don't like it! I hurt everywhere , and not just my legs. I mean everywhere ."

I wasn't sure if he was aware he was doing it, but his fingers were digging into his chest, his claws extended, as if he was trying to scratch a really deep itch. Or dig out his heart.

He swung a tortured gaze my way, and my heart clenched for him.

"It hurts all the time , Zo, except when I'm touching you. Holding you. I don't like it—it's getting worse."

"Oh, babe," I murmured, reaching for him. I clasped his face with my palms and allowed my thumbs to press comfortingly against his cheekbones. "I know. I know."

"How ?" he cried, and yes, that was a cry. Plaintive, helpless. His free hand cupped the back of my neck and pulled me closer until our foreheads touched. "How could you possibly know? Do you feel this too?"

"I do, Lux," I kissed his nose. "Not the same way, but my heart feels it." A kiss on the corner of his lips. "I love you."

"I think—I think I love you too," he murmured, eyes closed. "That's the only explanation for the way I feel, isn't it?"

From beside us, Giza rumbled, "Not the only explanation, T'mak ."

When Lux opened his eyes and pulled back far enough to meet my gaze, I smiled and took pity on him.

"What he means, sweetheart, is that you're experiencing Heat, because you haven't formalized our relationship."

" What relationship? Roommates? Hook-ups? Is that all we are?"

That's how we started, wasn't it? This was supposed to be roommates with benefits, just a simple hookup to release a bit of sexual tension.

It had turned into so much more.

I took a deep breath and held his gaze. "No, Lux. I'm your Mate."

Luxor

There was a knowing .

A certainty.

I gazed up into Zoe's dark eyes, and I saw the truth.

"Mate," I breathed.

Her smile was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, more so because I knew she rarely gifted it to others besides me. "Yes, Lux. I'm your Mate, and you're mine."

My fingers squeezed the back of her neck. Mate . "You're my Mate."

Even just saying the words filled me with a rightness.

No, it was more than that; it was a peace . My chest eased, and up until that moment, I hadn't realized exactly how tight it was. And I knew—I knew —it wasn't just because of the ridiculous death-defying adventure we'd just been on.

"Mate," I breathed again, and when I inhaled, I had Zoe in my lungs.

All the pain, all the restlessness and impatience, all the fear I couldn't name, everything that had been plaguing me for these last days…it all faded as I tasted my Mate on my tongue and felt her in my heart.

And then Giza was there, butting his big mouth into it with a chuckle. "If you're not sure about it, T'mak —"

"I'm certain," I growled, gaze darting between Zoe's midnight eyes. "You're my Mate. But how…?"

Her teeth flashed. "Would you believe me if I said I read it in a book? I was shelving at the library, and I thought to check the index of what is apparently the main book on the subject."

In my periphery, I could see Giza nodding. " The Customs and Culture of Orcs. Evan McIlhenny interviewed me extensively for that book."

I ignored him.

I had plenty of practice.

Instead, I smiled at my Mate, and poured all my relief, all my love, into it. "I would absolutely believe it, Zo. You're the most brilliant person I know, and I feel like an idiot for not realizing what was going on."

Her thumbs caressed my cheeks. "You shouldn't. But the green glow in your eyes, the way you've been feeling…the fact you're only at peace around me. It's all in the book, and it's very clear what that means. We're Mated."

A fierce sort of joy bubbled up in my chest, and I knew she was right. "A Mate…" I shook my head again. "I should've realized it. The way I feel with you…"

But suddenly, a realization slammed into me, and I jerked back with a gasp.

"Lux?"

"How do you feel about this, Zoe? Gods of the ancestors, I should have asked that first. I am completed by our Mating bond, but you —It's not fair to you! I don't want to trap you or take away—"

She cut me off with a kiss.

I mean, it was a good kiss. Better than good. I growled low in my throat and pulled her against me, my hand moving from my chest to her back, then her ass. She tasted of salt water and mint and Zoe .

My Kteer crowed, despite the worry about how she felt. All it knew was that she was in my arms.

My Mate . My Mate was in my arms, and it was so fucking perfect I couldn't believe I didn't see it, didn't feel it earlier.

It took my brilliant Mate, my incredible Mate, to figure it out and tell me.

What an idiot .

Finally, she pulled back, and she was smiling indulgently. "If I'm your Mate, Lux, that means you're mine. And I'm not trapped or losing anything by that." She shook me slightly. "Don't you see that? I'm gaining everything."

"But your dream…" She'd worked so hard to become a librarian.

For a moment, her smile froze. Just a moment, just a flash, she hesitated. So minor I doubted the other males noticed, but I did . Then she relaxed. "I have a new dream, Mate."

Mate . I still couldn't believe it. I didn't think I'd ever get used to hearing her say—

"Holy shit," I gasped. "We've been having unprotected sex!"

"What?" The word burst out of her on a surprised laugh, even as I swung around to glare at Giza.

"You told me it was impossible for an orc to impregnant a human during casual sex!"

My older friend nodded in that stupidly calm manner of his. "It is. It should be. We're incompatible otherwise."

Zoe's shoulders were shaking, but her chuckles were silent as she stroked my cheeks. "Oh, we're very compatible."

I swung back to her. "Zo, this was supposed to just be casual sex!"

"A hookup," she nodded.

"Roommates with benefits!" My eyes were wide, and I realized I didn't hate the thought of her bearing my son, but not like this. Not without her consent. "I'm sorry, Zoe, I didn't realize—"

"Oh, love, it's okay." She kissed me again, over too soon, and I felt myself melting into her touch. "Neither of us knew," she whispered as she pulled back, eyes sparkling. "Or could've guessed. We're Mates . And I think we ought to get used to that before we worry about pregnancy."

I was already nodding, even as Sakkara placed the puppy down at my side so the little thing could crawl into our laps. "I need to worry about it, though, because as soon as I get you home, I'm going to peel off your clothes and—"

She silenced me with another kiss, which was probably for the best.

By the time she pulled back, Sakkara had swung the boat around and was motoring back toward Eastshore Isle, while Seamus had curled up in my lap. If he wasn't asleep, he was close to it.

Giza was standing at the stern, gazing into the distance, but I wasn't sure if it was to give us privacy, or because he was suddenly fascinated by the ocean, or because he was thinking of his own lost Mate.

"I love you," Zoe whispered, and I still couldn't believe it.

My grin was a little lopsided, I knew. "I have got to be the luckiest male in both worlds. My Mate is strong, capable, and way smarter than me."

She nodded solemnly. "I am pretty awesome, but you're wonderful too, Lux. Please, please try to get that through your skull; I'm happy to be your Mate. No." She frowned suddenly. "You're doing it right now, aren't you? You're thinking She's getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop, having to Mate with someone like me , aren't you?"

It was wild she knew me so well. "I don't know what the lollipop thing means, but…"

She shook me again, just slightly. "You are amazing, Luxor. Caring, kind, sweet, funny, wonderful . I'm lucky to be your Mate."

My fingertips found her cheek, which wasn't nearly as cold as it had been when she'd come out of the water. "I don't want you to give up your dream, Zo. We'll move to the mainland so you can become a librarian."

She was shaking her head. "Eastshore Isle is your home."

"It's your home too," I pointed out. "And I'll go wherever you go."

Her expression softened. "Our home is wherever we're together. Deal?"

In my lap, Seamus stirred, and we both dropped one hand to the pup, our fingers twining together over his small, steady heartbeat.

"Deal," I whispered.

My forehead dropped to hers, breathing in her perfect scent, and while my Kteer exulted, imagining what we were going to do once I got her home and could claim my Mate officially…my heart worried.

How could Zoe be happy here on Eastshore if she had to give up her dream?