Chapter 7 Lady Gardens & Big Balls

Another month later...

Allie

As I looked around at the pink princess decorations covering every surface of the backyard, I was once again made achingly aware of the hole left behind in our lives since Alex died.

We were celebrating Gracie's first birthday. It was the first celebration of any kind we've had since we lost him two months ago. God, two months. At times it felt like yesterday. Other times, it seemed like a lifetime ago. He would have loved the princess theme, even though the backyard currently looked like a Pepto-Bismol bottle exploded everywhere. It was all so very...pink.

I turned toward the patio door, to see Hannah and Dean stepping out onto the deck. Dean was holding a smiling Grace. She adored him, and the feeling seemed to be mutual. She was smooshing her little hands against his cheeks and laughing at the guppy lip faces he was making. I heard the doorbell ring inside the house, and then my brother Scott yelled "I'll get it!"

It didn't take long for the yard to be filled with family and friends, and the gift table to overflow with brightly wrapped packages and bags. My Dad and Scott manned the grill, with Emma supervising to make sure they didn't burn the burgers. My mom roped Dean and Hannah into helping her set out the side dishes we had prepared last night, while Aunt Ellen got the cake out. She made beautiful cakes, and this one was truly fit for a princess. Three layers, covered in fondant varying from pale pink to deep fuchsia, decorated with sugar paste "jewels" and topped with an edible candy crown.

I looked around the yard, trying to see who had the birthday girl since Dean's arms were empty now and she wasn't with any of the other immediate family. I spotted her with Nico, who was crouched down with her in his arms, peering at the daisies growing in the flower bed along the side of the deck. I rested my arms on the deck railing above them and leaned over to see what they were doing.

"Look, princess, see the pretty flowers? They're almost as pretty as you are, sweetheart," I heard him say, as Gracie reached out her finger to poke at one of the flowers. I chuckled and said, "Nico, you're such a smooth talker. Is that the kind of line you use on all the pretty girls?"

He looked up with a cocky grin on his too-handsome-for-his-own-good face. "I don't need smooth lines, Sunshine. I'm a rockstar, remember? The pretty girls just fall at my feet"

I snorted a laugh. "Yep, that sounds about right. You do seem to trip over pretty girls every time you turn around. I'm constantly amazed by the number of private messages that come into your social media pages from all these women. If you took even a fraction of them up on their brazen offers, you would never have time to sing!"

He stood up, Gracie still in his arms, and looked a bit embarrassed. "I don't even see most of them, and never respond to any of them. I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of shit. Maybe we can talk to Michael and hire someone to handle - "

"It's no big deal," I interrupted him with a shake of my head, "But I will say I've never seen so many naked boobs in my life than since I started working for you guys. And I had no idea how many different ways there are to landscape a lady-garden. One woman even shaved your initials down there!"

He looked confused for a moment, before understanding dawned. "Lady-garden? You mean...uhm...," he trailed off, before gesturing vaguely toward his crotch. Josh, Tony, and Matt had joined us by that point, and they all suddenly looked just as uncomfortable as Nico did.

I laughed at them, enjoying their varying looks of discomfort. "Yes, you poor clueless Rock Gods. The lady garden, otherwise known as the vajayjay, coochie, hoo-ha, girly bits, honey pot, vajingle, love canal, and my personal favorite, the penis fly-trap." Nico choked on his own spit and looked down at Gracie in horror as if afraid she would understand what I was saying.

"Some of your more adventurous fans send pics showing off their very personal attributes, and I have to tell you, it's really weird. I'm pretty sure I see more pussies in a month than all four of you put together. I gotta say, I'm not a fan of vag pics. It doesn't matter if they're shaved, waxed, trimmed or sporting a full bush, there's nothing pretty to look at down there."

Josh busted out laughing, Tony blushed to the tips of his ears and Nico slowly blinked at me as if I'd grown a second head. Matt choked out a laugh and said "We'll have to agree to disagree on that one, darlin'. No matter what you call them or how they're presented, they're all worth admiring," he winked.

By that point, Gracie decided she was bored with our conversation. She grabbed a startled Nico by the face and yelled "Coco!"

We all laughed at her attempt to say his name. "Ni-co," he gently corrected with an amused look. "Neeee-co".

"Coco!" She repeated joyfully, clapping her little hands because she was clearly proud of herself.

Nico dropped his head forward and shook it slowly while chuckling ruefully. "Ok, I give up. Coco it is."

Tony hooted and slapped him on the back. "So, Coco, got any marshmallows? How about whipped cream?"

Nico raised an eyebrow as we all laughed, and said "Just remember, payback is a b-i-t-c-h." He was proven right when, moments later, Gracie grabbed for Tony and shouted "Toe". Poor Tony would not live that down anytime soon. The guys called him Toe Jam for the rest of the day.

Later that evening, Hannah and Mom were helping me clear away the last remnants of the party. Gracie was exhausted from the excitement of the day, and from testing out her recently discovered walking skills. I was fairly sure she had covered every inch of the backyard, one tottering step at a time. She'd led Nico around the yard, her little hand grasping one of his fingers to steady herself. He'd had to practically bend himself in half so her hand could reach his, and he could barely stand upright by the time he left. He would be feeling that tomorrow. Alex's friend James had stayed behind after the party and was currently sprawled on the sofa with a sleeping Gracie snuggled in at his side. He and my dad were watching ESPN.

Hannah walked back into the kitchen after checking the living room for any paper plates or crap that had been left behind by guests. "Why are Dad and James watching golf? Neither of them plays, and it's so boring!", she asked, looking confused. "And that overly-loud whispering thing that the announcers do is like nails on a chalkboard," she said with a shiver.

"They're probably too lazy to change the channel," I said with a shrug.

Mom looked up from her seat at the table and laughed, saying "I have a theory that men will watch anything with balls. It's like a deep-seated psychological need, probably closely linked to their need to constantly rearrange themselves. They're obsessed with balls - their own, or those used in sports."

Hannah and I both cracked up, and then Hannah started singing "Big Balls", by AC/DC. I snorted, and started giggling uncontrollably, as she waved her arms like an orchestra conductor, and sang "my balls are always bouncing, to the left and to the right". Mom folded her arms on the table, put her head down and howled with laughter.

Dad hurried into the kitchen and said "What the hell is going on in here? You're going to wake up the baby!" Mom lifted her head, looked him straight in the eye and exclaimed, "Well, goodness gracious, great balls of fire!"

Hannah and I completely lost it at that point. We could barely stand upright, both of us leaning on the island for support, and laughing so hard we couldn't even catch our breath. Dad just stood there, eyes flitting from Mom, to me, to Hannah, and then back to Mom.

"Never mind," he said with a shake of his head, "I don't even want to know. I'm going to just go back to watching golf." That set us off again, and it took several minutes before we were able to compose ourselves. By that time, we all had tears running down our faces, Hannah had the hiccups, my stomach hurt from laughing, and Mom was pretty sure she'd peed a little.

Lying in bed later that night, I giggled softly, remembering the look on Dad's face. God, I'd needed that laugh. My heart felt lighter for the first time in months, and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could get through this pain and begin to enjoy life again. I turned my head on my pillow to look at the picture of Alex and I that I kept on my nightstand. "I wish you could have been here today. You would have loved it. Goodnight, babe," I whispered.