Chapter 10 #Wedgiegate

Six months ago...

Nico

I had spent a lot of time with Allie and Gracie in the past eighteen months or so since our tour had ended. The other guys in the band had, too. She had become my best friend and Gracie had me wrapped around her little finger. We usually ate dinner together a few nights a week, often at their house because of Gracie's bedtime.

Allie was an amazing cook, and I had to up my workouts to keep from packing on extra pounds. A few times, it was so late by the time we finished watching a movie or playing a game after dinner, that Allie suggested I stay over. She worried about me driving home when I was tired. I slept in the guest room of course, but I loved waking up to the sound of Gracie giggling, and the sight of Allie in her cute pajamas, with bedhead and no makeup on. I loved even more the times I woke up on the sofa with Allie snuggled up against me, after we'd fallen asleep watching TV.

The first night that happened was after an ill-advised tequila-fest at my house, which resulted in me dreaming of grinding against her gorgeous ass. Turned out, I hadn't been dreaming. Her cellphone rang, which probably saved us both some embarrassment. Luckily, she was too distracted by her hangover to notice my raging hard-on.

Since then, it had happened a few more times at her house, but I woke up before actually acting on my dreams. Each time, I had taken myself off to the guest room for the remainder of the night, wishing like hell that she was ready to move on. Wishing that she would give me the slightest sign that she wanted to be more than friends. Wishing I didn't have to risk our friendship to find out if we could have more. Wishing I wasn't the only one in love with their best friend.

I couldn't stay in this limbo much longer; I knew that much. I hadn't been with another woman since a disastrous hook-up shortly after I had moved into my new house had left me feeling so damned guilty, I'd been unable to even face myself in the mirror. I was frustrated and tired of hiding my feelings, but I was fucking terrified that I would ruin everything if I pushed her. So, I continued to live in the friend-zone, grateful for every moment I could spend with both of my girls.

I had spent so much time with Allie and Gracie that the paparazzi started taking notice. We often took Gracie to the park and the zoo, and even once - God help me - to that fucking Build-a-Bear place at the mall. Yep, that photo was splashed all over TMZ. Blew my badass rocker persona all to hell. There I was, helping an adorable Gracie pick out a tiara and sparkly princess gown for a goddamned pink teddy bear, with Allie looking over at us with an indulgent smile on her pretty face. At least Gracie's face was turned away from the camera - neither Allie nor I wanted to see our precious girl's photo out there for every sick fucker in the world to lay eyes on.

Our fans went crazy trying to figure out who they were. Rumors flew for weeks about my "secret family". Some people were convinced that we had been married for years but hid it to keep the female fans happy. It was a little funny, at least until one particularly unscrupulous online blogger discovered who Allie really was, then strongly implied that she had cheated on her late husband and that I was actually Gracie's real father. The story pissed me the fuck off, but even worse, it made Allie cry. I threatened to sue the sorry sonofabitch unless he put out an immediate retraction. He did. I sued him anyway.

My mom had taken them both under her wing, and they all got together fairly often. My mom, and Allie's mom, Colleen, had become instant friends. They along with Matt's mom, who was my mother's lifelong friend, formed a formidable trio who lunched, gossiped, bought cute crap for Gracie, gossiped some more, and despaired of Matt and me ever settling down. My father and Matt's dad discovered that Allie's dad Steve was a fellow Lakers fan, so they all bought season tickets together. It was nice that they all got along so well, even though it often resulted in them banding together to gang up on us for whatever they felt we'd done wrong.

Allie and my sister had become close too, and she was actually the one Becca had turned to for support after she broke up with that stupid fucker, Ben. That sorry-assed motherfucker had cheated on my sister three months before they were supposed to get married, then had the brass balls to ask her to reimburse him for half of the deposits they'd had to forfeit for the venue, caterer and photographer. I had wanted to kill him. Nonna and Allie got to him first.

To this day, I'm not sure what they said or did to the guy, but he not only apologized for requesting the money, but gave Becca the tickets to Greece that he had bought for their honeymoon. Becca invited Allie to go with her, but she didn't feel comfortable being away from Gracie that long and suggested that Becca invite our mom instead.

Nonna, of course, was thrilled to have Gracie around, and offered to babysit every chance she got. She and Mom haven't been subtle about their desire to see me in a relationship with Allie. "You'd better find your balls and pin that girl down, before someone else does," was the way Nonna put it if I recalled correctly. I didn't dare let on that I would love to do just that, or those crazy women would be picking out a wedding venue and calling the caterer before I knew what the fuck was happening. The even crazier thing was, I was pretty sure I'd be OK with that.

◆◆◆

Allie called as I was eating breakfast to let me know that she was on her way over with Grace. I was going to watch my princess for the day because Allie's sister-in-law Emma was scheduled to have her labor induced. The baby was four days past due, and the poor womanhad looked miserable when I saw her at Allie's last week. I wasn't even sure how she could stand upright, as off-balance as she was with that beach ball attached to her midsection. I would, of course, never say that out loud. I liked my balls right where they were, thank you very fucking much.

Women were incredible creatures worthy of all the praise, that's for sure. I was damned sure that the human race wouldn't have made it much past Cain and Abel if men had to give birth. Scott and Emma had previously asked Allie to be in the room during the delivery. Scott, because he was a chickenshit and didn't want to face it alone, and Emma, because she knew Scott was a chickenshit and would be useless. I loved spending time with my princess, so I'd volunteered to keep Gracie when Allie had mentioned it. I'd also called Scott and told him that for a big, tough badass cop, he sure was being a big pussy about seeing his wife give birth. He didn't find it funny, but Emma did.

My security system chimed a little while later, alerting me that Allie had keyed in the code to open the driveway gate. I walked out onto the front steps as her car pulled to a stop. I could see Gracie excitedly waving to me from the back seat, so I made my way over to the car and opened the door for her.

"Hi Unka Nico. I missed you!" I laughed. I had just seen her yesterday. "I missed you, too, princess."

I unfastened the straps on her car seat, and she scrambled out of the car. Allie got out, and I saw that she was wearing a T-shirt that said, "My nephew has an awesome aunt" . She handed me a bulging backpack and Gracie's pink purse with the purple fringe that she carried everywhere with her. The purse had been a gift from Tony when she had started preschool. Allie gave her daughter a quick hug and kiss, before reaching up to press a quick kiss to my cheek.

"Thanks, Nico, you're a life saver. I'll call you as soon as she has the baby. Grace Elizabeth, you be good for your Uncle Nico," she said pointedly, getting back into the car.

Gracie and I carried her stuff into the house and discussed our plans for the day. She was bummed when I explained that she couldn't go to see the new baby at the hospital. After a few minutes of tearful whining, I promised her that we would FaceTime with her mommy as soon as the baby was born, so she could see him that way. I offered to take her shopping so we could buy him a present, and I even resorted to promising a trip to her favorite ice cream place afterward. I wasn't proud of the latter, but desperate times call for desperate measures. In this case, ice cream.

As Gracie and I meandered through the aisles at the toy store searching for the perfect gift for her new cousin, I noticed that she was walking strangely. I couldn't tell if she was dancing or limping, or just simply being Gracie. She was doing this little wiggle-shimmy kind of thing that I'd never seen her do before.

"Why are you walking like that, princess? Are your legs tired? Do you need me to carry you?"

"Nope, I'm just tryna' shake my undies outta my hiney. I gots a wedgie," she announced to all and sundry, without a care in the world. She did not use her inside voice.

I blinked, started to say something, stopped, cleared my throat, and tried again. "Ok, well, just um, reach up to your shorts and pull your underwear out of...you know, um, straighten them a little." The woman at the end of the aisle tried to stifle her laughter. The man with her snickered, gave me a look of pity, and walked the other way.

"Nope, I can't," she declared, shaking her head so hard her pigtails smacked her in the face. "Mommy says I'm not s'posed to touch my privates in front of people. It's not 'propriate." Yep, still no inside voice. I was vaguely aware of giggles, muffled laughter, and an outright guffaw from the next aisle over.

I nodded slowly, as I questioned every life choice that had brought me to this moment. I was so not prepared for this shit. "Uh, well, OK...that's...a good rule. A really good rule. So, uh, well...why don't we run to the restroom, and you can take care of it in there. Can we do that?"

"If you say so," Gracie conceded, once again taking my hand as I guided her to the restrooms at the back of the store. "Do your undies ever get wedgied up your hiney, Unka Nico?" she asked, still not using her inside voice, God love her.

"Um, Gracie sweetheart, it may not be appropriate to talk about underwear in front of other people either. Why don't we wait and ask your mommy about that rule later, OK?"

As we made our way to the restroom at the back of the store, I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with any of the still-snickering customers who had the good fortune to witness The Great Wedgie Conundrum of 2022. Shit, I hoped none of them recognized me. At least I didn't notice any phones pointed in our direction. I would never live this down if it ended up on TMZ.

After we resolved the wedgie issue and found a gift for the baby, Gracie and I stopped for the ice cream that I'd bribed her with earlier. She got a small cup of something called Superman, which looked like a neon rainbow exploded and smelled like Fruity Pebbles cereal. She was thrilled with it. I treated myself to a triple scoop of chocolate-covered strawberry swirl, with extra chocolate sprinkles and whipped cream. Hell, I deserved it after the ordeal I'd just survived.

We spent the rest of the day back at my house, playing in the pool and watching movies. By mid-afternoon, Gracie was ready for a nap. Even though my princess had her own room at my house, decorated to her exacting three-year-old specifications, she insisted on sleeping in front of the TV. I decided I could use a little nap too, so I laid down with her on the comfy sofa in the media room. Her back was against the back of the sofa, and I was lying facing her so she wouldn't fall off. It took her about thirty seconds to close her eyes and drift off to sleep.

As I laid there with her, I started softly humming the melody to "Daddy's Girl", the song I'd written over two years ago after Alex's funeral. Matt, Josh, and Tony had helped me put the finishing touches on the lyrics and melody I'd written. Once it was complete, we knew it had the potential to be a huge hit. Given the sensitive subject matter - Alex's final goodbye to his daughter - and the timing of it, we had shelved the idea. Maybe someday I'd broach the subject with Allie, once I thought she was ready. I'd been tossing around the idea of releasing it and donating the proceeds to charity. Maybe cancer research. I absolutely did not want to profit from their tragedy, and I was certain the other guys would agree with me. For now though, I was content to sing it to Gracie in quiet moments like this.

I'd been asleep for maybe an hour when Gracie rolled over in her sleep. My sweet, angelic little princess smacked me in the face with her arm and nailed me right in the balls with her foot. Shit, that hurt! She let out a snuffling kind of snort and settled her head back against my chest to carry on with her nap. I carefully moved her foot, lifted her hand off my ear, and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. My phone rang a little while later. By the time I had eased myself out from under Gracie, without waking her up mind you, the call had ended, and a text notification had popped in. It was Allie, letting me know that Cole David Kettering had just made his entrance into the world, and that mom and baby were doing fine. She asked how Gracie was, and I snapped a quick photo of her and sent it. My princess was still sprawled out on her stomach but had shifted again, and her right foot and her head were both hanging off of the edge of the sofa. The blanket I'd put over her when I got up had slipped halfway off and was dragging the floor.

Nico: See for yourself. She kinda looks like Matt does when he's sleeping off a bender. And by the way, if I'm not able to have kids, it's her fault. Kid's got a wicked aim when she's sleeping. She's a literal ball-buster. I'll have to remember to put on a cup the next time I get the bright idea to take a nap with her.

Allie: *snort* I'm sorry, but you really should have known better. Don't you remember the black eye she gave me when we all stayed at your parents' cabin last fall? I wasn't sure I'd survive sharing that bed with her. It was brutal. I had no idea how much damage her bony little elbows could do.

Nico: Yeah, I'd forgotten that. We had a good day otherwise though. Went shopping for the baby. Scott and Emma are going to love the stuffed basset hound Gracie picked out. When you pull its tail, it sings "You Ain't Nothin' but A Hound Dog." I didn't see a volume control button, but they can always take the batteries out if it gets too obnoxious.

Allie: Nice! Well, they did buy her play-doh and finger paints for her last birthday, so...payback, baby!

Nico: Hey, she was kind of upset because she couldn't come to see the baby. I told her you would FaceTime her so she could see him that way. Can we do that before you leave the hospital?

Allie: That's a good idea. Call me when she wakes up.

Gracie woke up about a half an hour later, and we FaceTimed Allie. Cole was cute, from what I could tell. Looked kind of like a raisin, but then again, most newborns do. Gracie was thrilled to see her new cousin and tried to babytalk to him. He wasn't much interested. She told Allie about our trip to the toy store, and I filled her in on the wedgie incident. She almost dropped her phone, she was laughing so hard. I heard Scott howling in the background, and Emma hollered, "Oh make him stop, it hurts to laugh!" Allie composed herself enough to promise that she would be there in hour or so to pick up Grace.

Later that night, after I finished my dinner of leftover Kung Pao chicken, fried rice and an egg roll, my phone started blowing up with notifications from the band's group chat. Allie had clearly shared the story of today's adventure because I received a steady stream of memes and GIFs related to wedgies and underwear, all tagged with #wedgiegate. Yeah, laugh it up, assholes.