11. Avery

Chapter eleven

Avery

I ’ve never had a dream like this before. Maybe this is inspired by the Northern Lights that Frost and I were just watching.

I’m in the sky. Or maybe this isn’t the sky, maybe it’s just the middle of space. Everything is black and vast with glittering sparkling stars lighting my path. All around me, dancing green lights follow me. I feel like I’m dancing across a painting. Or maybe I’m actually the art.

I’m not a body, but a nebulous shape, floating through space. I’m the light itself, drifting and floating and moving.

I feel so unlike myself. I feel free. I feel like I’m flying. Is this what bird shifters feel when they’re soaring?

My greens need an accent color to mix with and instinctively, I start searching through the vast night sky for Frost. Now that I know it’s him who’s been visiting in my dream, I know it’s only a matter of time before I find him again.

For a moment, I wonder if I should feel betrayed or something. He was coming into my dreams without my permission, inserting himself into something so deeply personal. But even though I know that, my heart can’t find an ounce of anything other than excitement. These feelings I’ve been experiencing are actually real. This excitement and lust and affection have a real person attached to them instead of just my imagination.

The alpha in my dreams is the same alpha I’ve been crushing on in the real world. That’s good news for me and my heart because it’s not all in my head or made up. This is real , even if it’s all coming on really fast.

Is that how these things go? Is it true that once you find your person, you just know ?

I continue drifting until I sense something. I follow the feeling until I find another nebulous, undulating blob. Somehow, I just know these blue and purple lights are Frost.

Our blobs float closer and closer until we’re circling each other. The edges of our lights brush against each other. The moment they touch, I’m flooded with warmth. I can feel his emotions and in turn, he can feel my own. Affection, curiosity, excitement, nervousness. All of it hits me square in the chest. I send the same back until we’re stuck in a feedback loop of sensations and emotions.

I can feel the way he’s nervous about everything I’ve learned and I do my best to send acceptance across this weird, floaty bond we have going on. I move closer and closer until our colorful blobs are mixing, intertwining, becoming one.

This feels sensual, like our spirits are touching. And maybe they are. This might be a dream, but now that I know that’s really Frost, everything feels so much more .

Warmth. Pleasure. Affection. Ecstasy. It all mingles between us, passed back and forth. Intimacy like I’ve never experienced before. It’s like our souls are fucking as our lights intertwine.

I guide the two of us down. Where everything was space and emptiness a moment ago, now a floor appears. I guide the two of us to it, landing solidly on our feet. Our bodies materialize, yet we remain shining, me green and Frost blue. We’re resplendent.

“Sit with me,” I say softly, kneeling on the ground before Frost. He joins me, sitting across from me. “Explain. I want to know more about all of this.”

He looks around us, watching as colors continue to swirl and dance around us. The colors occasionally pass across our skin, leaving warm tingles behind. “This is all you,” he says, his voice tinged with wonder. “You’ve created this dreamscape, I’m just here to enjoy it.”

“But how?” I ask, pulling him close so he knows I’m not upset, only curious. “How can you be here with me?”

“I’m not really sure, to be completely honest. It was just something I was born with.”

“I think that’s remarkable.”

Frost stares at me, like he’s trying to see if I’m telling the truth or not. I let my colors flare in order to allow him to feel my emotions again. There’s no upset feelings, only genuine curiosity. His face smoothes out, a small smile playing at his lips.

“You’re the first to think that. My old pack sent me away when they found out. Apparently, they had superstitions that said a dreamwalker would bring ruin to their pack. They thought I came with nightmares and terrors.”

“That’s dumb,” I say right away, my eyes narrowing. “If anything, you probably chase nightmares away!”

“I do. Whenever I see something scary or upsetting, I do my best to chase it away so the person can have sweet dreams. I don’t want to be what my pack thought,” Frost confesses softly. My heart breaks for him and all the hurt he’s experienced at the hands of those who were supposed to take care of him.

Reaching out, I cup Frost’s cheek. He deserves gentleness after everything he’s gone through. He deserves a place that will welcome him with open arms and accept him for who he is. He deserves a home.

Could home be with me?

Gods, I hope so. I know this is all going terribly fast, but I don’t care. I care about Frost. I long to know everything there is to know about him. I want to let him in and set down roots within my heart. I want him to be free to join every single one of my dreams in the future. I just want him, full stop.

“Frost,” I whisper, pulling him forward. His eyes close and a moment later, our lips are touching.

This kiss feels different than the first. The first was tangible, our bodies touching. This time, it’s no less real, but it’s filled with emotions. Our souls are caressing in a way I never thought possible. It’s intimate and fantastical.

Warmth builds behind my eyes but I do my best to blink it back. I want to crawl inside Frost’s ribcage so I can wrap myself around his heart. I want to keep him safe, shield him from the world until he finally heals from the hurt he’s experienced in his past.

Some people might think these feelings are too quick, too fast, but I don't give a damn. In life, sometimes you meet people you know are meant to be in your life. It’s how I felt when I met Ellie, and now it’s how I feel around Frost. For as long as he’ll allow me, I’ll be here with him, at his side.

“Frost,” I say again, my lips brushing against his. “I want you. I want you so badly that my entire body aches for it.” Frost shivers at my words and I can feel his warring emotions like they’re my own. “I want you too. Now I’m the one worried this isn’t real,” he says, his lips curling up into the tiniest smile.

“I know it’s fast. I know it feels like nothing more than a dream, but I don’t care. I know my feelings and I think maybe I know yours too.”

Frost lunges forward, kissing me again. “Then you’ll have me,” he breathes out. “You’ll have me, body and spirit, for as long as you want, Avery. I am yours.”

I startle awake. The cold hits me, clearing the fog in my head. I look over and find Frost there, his eyes slowly blinking awake.

I am yours .

The dream fades away but the feelings inside my chest stay crystal clear. Frost said he was mine. The words feel like they’re being tattooed inside my rib cage beside my heart, cementing his place with me. I want him just as much as he wants me.

“Frost,” I gasp out, my eyes wide. “Are you sure?”

He sits up slowly. “Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“Then have me.”

In response, Frost kisses me again and it feels heady, like I’m back in a dream but this time, I know without a doubt that I’m wide awake.