9. Skylar

Chapter nine

Skylar

“ I knew from the beginning we weren’t right for each other, but I kept making excuses,” I told Hiero regarding my relationship with Cedrych. “We even broke up once because he went on a ‘diplomatic mission,’ which was just an excuse to get some elvish ass. But he always managed to win me back with extravagant gifts or gestures. It helped that he paid for pretty much everything, and breaking up with him meant that I’d be out on the streets again, which I can assure you, is less than ideal…”

We were walking at a fast clip through a mountain trail, burning off some of my nervous energy as I rambled on about my shitty taste in men. It was springtime in the Dragonback Mountains and the daffodils and bluebells were in full bloom. They’d make a lovely arrangement, I decided, pausing to pick some from the trail’s edge. It occurred to me that Hiero probably didn’t want to hear the details of my failed relationship, though he had asked for the story. “I’m sorry. I’m doing that thing where I talk about my ex,” I said to him as an afterthought.

“I work at a bar. I’ve heard it all. Please, continue.”

I tucked away the flowers and said, “Well, the last straw was when he got betrothed. He didn’t even tell me himself. I had to hear about it from the Daily Scrolls –”

“Wait a minute, this fucker got betrothed… to someone else? After being with you for two years?” Hiero asked with incredulity.

“His fiancé is probably a much better match than me,” I said, though I hated to admit it. The betrothed in question was an elvish lord of some renown, and from the unsmiling portrait I’d seen in the Daily Scrolls , he gave off the same cold detachment as the queen herself. The write-up said he was a metal sorcerer too, which probably came in handy when fashioning enchanted weapons for the royal guard, which Cedrych captained. Their pairing made sense, even to me, and if Cedrych had been honest with me about his intentions, we could have parted ways without such acrimony. Instead, he’d treated me like I was completely disposable.

I could just imagine Queen Gwyneth’s delight in finally wresting her precious son away from my filthy clutches. Well played, Your Majesty.

“That’s fucked up,” Hiero said. “Like, really fucked up. Why wouldn’t he just ask you to marry him? ”

I glanced over to see if he was teasing me, but he seemed completely sincere. I supposed it was because he didn’t know much about fae customs.

“Because I’m just a guildless, unremarkable bit of fae trash,” I said. I hated that I’d internalized the queen’s cruel words, but no part of it was untrue.

“He said that to you?” Hiero asked. His massive shoulders tensed as if preparing to fight him. He was wearing a loose tank top, and I was slightly distracted by the way his biceps bunched and flexed, and the snatches of armpit hair I could see when he gesticulated with his hands.

“No, it was his mother, actually, but she wasn’t wrong.”

He stopped and turned me around to face him. “I don’t know about the whole guild thing or who this guy thought he was, but you are quite remarkable, Skylar Larkspur.” He brushed my cheek with his thumb, and I couldn’t help the fluttery feeling in my stomach.

“That’s sweet of you to say,” I said, turning bashful.

“It’s true.”

We resumed our walk, but for a few moments I glowed with the quiet knowledge that Hiero thought I was remarkable.

“So, this guy sounds like an entitled ass,” Hiero said. “Rich or not, he didn’t appreciate you all that much, so it seems to me like you’re better off without him.”

“I know I am. I’m just a bit weak-willed when it comes to him. He can be very convincing, and I’ve forgiven him so many times already. I was afraid that if I stayed in Emrallt Valley, I might be tempted to do so again.”

“Then it’s a good thing you came here,” he said, and I was glad he thought I’d made the right decision.

“Yes, but now I’m getting day-drunk by the pool and wallowing in my own self-pity.” I sighed. “It’s pretty unattractive. I need to get a job. A real one. Not my… former occupation.”

“Have you always been a thief?” he asked, seemingly without any judgment.

“Both my parents are… free spirits,” I said, electing not to unpack all of my trauma right then, “and they never bothered to register me with a guild. It’s a process to say the least. They never bothered with me much at all, and by the time I was a fledgling, it was too late. The guildless are the outcasts of fae society. We can take on some odd jobs here and there, but nothing long-term or secure. And there are no protections on how we’re treated or how much we’re paid. So, to answer your question, yes, I’ve always been a thief.”

The other occupation most common for the guildless was sex work. I’d dabbled in that as well (I must have “lost” my virginity a half-dozen times or more), and even when I thought objectively about my relationship with Cedrych, it was pretty much a sex-for-pay arrangement. What might Hiero think of me if he knew I was a whore too?

“Well, you’ve had to survive,” Hiero said, rousing me from my thoughts. “But you’re not in Emrallt Valley anymore. ”

“Old habits die hard, I suppose.”

“But there’s nothing stopping you from getting a job, say, at Church?”

I looked over at him cautiously and wondered if he was only being hypothetical. “I was going to ask you if you might need help around the bar, but then we went and…” I bit my lip. The sharpness of my teeth made it easy to draw blood. The metallic tang of it was familiar.

“That doesn’t have to change anything. I can keep my hands off you, if that’s what you want.”

Was it what I wanted? Not really. I wanted his hands all over me all the time, but I was in no state to enter into anything serious with the handsome minotaur, and something told me he was husband material. My honesty was all I could afford to give him.

“The problem is, I don’t know what I want. I enjoyed being with you, and I want to do it again, but I don’t want to ruin a potential friendship either. I don’t trust myself right now to make good decisions, so you probably shouldn’t trust me either.”

With a decisive nod, he said, “That settles it. You’ll come work at Church and hang out here in the mountains until you’re sure you’ve gotten your ex out of your system. What do you think of that plan?”

“It’s a good plan,” I said, grateful for his generosity and his guidance, for the simple fact that he’d come to my aid and roused me from my bout of depression. He’d treated me with care and kindness, both of which I knew were in short supply, regardless of the realm.

“Friends?” he asked and held out one large hand.

“Friends,” I said and took it.

I started that very same night at Church as a server, taking orders from the bar’s patrons and delivering them their drinks. The customers tipped well, especially the drunk ones, and I ended my shift with a purse full of coin that would pay for my room for at least another week. Once the last customer had departed, it was just the three of us left to close–Frito, Hiero, and me. I was stacking the chairs on the tabletops while Frito swept the floor and Hiero counted up the money at the register.

While Hiero was distracted, I took a moment to admire his muscular shoulders, strong arms, and capable hands. His hands were possibly my favorite feature. Thick digits with trimmed nails and hairy knuckles. The sort of hands that had known hard labor and could make an elegant cocktail as easily as repair a broken pipe. Hands that built things and fixed things and were surprisingly nimble despite their size .

I recalled our lovemaking a few nights ago, the way he’d caressed my body and made me feel so precious and adored. He’d said that he wanted to take care of me, and I suspected he meant more than just sex. Wasn’t that all that I’d ever wanted, someone to love and cherish, someone who would guide and protect me and help me make the right decisions?

I’d thought I’d had it with Cedrych, but I was wrong. Who’s to say I wouldn’t be wrong again?

“Did you make out okay?” Hiero asked me, startling me from my reverie.

“Yes, the customers were very generous.”

“You going to buy some more food with that coin?”

I smirked. He was such a Daddy. “Are you implying that I need to ingest something other than Mind Eraser?”

“I assume you fae don’t live on sunshine and moonbeams alone. Besides, it’d be a shame to erase such a beautiful mind.” He winked at me and went back to his work, oblivious to the fact that I had melted into a puddle on the floor.

My parents had never given much thought to my needs. Usually only after crash landing from a cloud of euphoria would they take stock in their surroundings and remember they had a child who must be fed and watered. Then they might work a couple odd jobs to buy more ether and, if I was lucky, enough food to last the duration of their next high. It was feast or famine in our household, and I’d learned to hoard (or steal) what I’d need to make it through the lean times. I supposed that was why his concern for my well-being affected me so.

“When we finish up here, I’ll walk you home,” Hiero said, clearly mistaking my lingering gaze for something else.

“I don’t mind walking alone.”

“Not on my watch.”

Twenty minutes later, we’d said goodbye to Frito, locked up the bar, and were strolling along the cobblestone street back to my motel. The fog lay heavy in the air and clung to my cheeks and eyelashes. The days were warming up but the nights were still cool with enough of a chill to give me goosebumps.

“You’re cold,” Hiero said, glancing around as if a jacket might materialize from thin air.

“I’m fine. Feels good after being in the bar. Are all the streets here made of cobblestone?”

“Yes, to prevent erosion. Aberthol laid many of the stones himself, with the help of the other monks, of course. That was before my time. The monks valued manual labor and prayer in equal measure.”

“What happened to them all?”

“Most of the clergy fled with the other humans during the war. Aberthol stayed, but he passed away many years ago. Heart failure.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, for the loss must have affected him deeply.

“He was like a father to me, but I’ve had time to grieve. ”

I turned my attention back to the cobblestone path laid out before us with such care. “That must have required a lot of patience to place every bit of stone just so,” I remarked.

“It did, but that’s what you do when building a foundation. The road was meant to last many, many years, and it has. It’s worth spending time on the things you love.” He caught my eye and smiled, but it was dangerous to read too much into his words. “If you’re thinking about staying, I know some people in town who could rent you a place for a good price.”

“Thanks. I might take you up on that.”

I was still deciding my next moves, content for now to see how my future might pan out here in the mountains. I didn’t need much. Being without a guild or a stable family meant that I never knew which way the wind might blow me. Perhaps that was why I’d latched onto Cedrych with such ferocity. In a lot of ways, he’d brought order and stability to my life, even if the sum of my existence was to please him.

Still, some part of me was looking for another person to act as the unmovable center to my chaotic orbit, someone deserving of my love and devotion. It had taken me too long to realize Cedrych wasn’t it, but that didn’t mean I didn’t crave it. Perhaps that made me weak, the fact that I didn’t want to be alone, but I had been so lonely throughout my childhood, shunned by my peers and largely ignored by my parents. Until I met Monica, I hadn’t even known what true friendship was.

“I do want a place to belong,” I said to Hiero .

“Belonging is important,” he agreed, and it sounded like it came from experience. “You could belong here, Skylar.”

To you? I wondered, but I didn’t say it, only nodded in response to the sincerity shining in his eyes. We were quiet after that, but the silence was comfortable. Hiero had a peaceful aura about him. Monica, a true empath, could see auras. She’d once told me that Cedrych had a murky, pea-green aura, which indicated a restless, dissatisfied spirit. I figured she’d just told me that because she didn’t like him. I wondered about Hiero’s aura. What would Monica say if she met him? Would she like him? I hoped so.

Our arms were close enough to brush against each other as we walked. I really wanted to hold his hand, but I didn’t want to send mixed messages. I liked him a lot , but I was a flaming hot mess right now, and I didn’t want to toy with his heart. I suspected it was good and true.

“I wish I’d met you before,” I said with more than a little longing when we finally reached my door.

“Before what?” he asked, staring at me with his kind, brown eyes.

“Before I became what I am now. Back when I was… better.” When I was spirited and bold, when I could have given him all of me, instead of just the broken bits.

“You’re hurting now, but you’ll heal,” he said with more confidence than I felt. “And besides, some of us have to learn things the hard way. ”

I snorted bitterly. “Sounds like something to be etched on my gravestone.”

“On the bright side, maybe now you’ll know what to look for in a partner and who to avoid. All that glitters is not gold, pretty fae.”

He tugged on the tail of my braid, and I gazed up at him, wanting to kiss him so badly, knowing it would be a mistake.

“Well,” I said, caught up in my feelings yet again.

“Well,” he said with an upward tick of his lips. “I guess this is goodnight.”

“Thank you for walking me home.”

“Any time. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, see you tomorrow.”

How easy it would have been to call him Daddy , but I bit my tongue, turned the handle, and went inside my room, shutting the door softly behind me. I listened to him breathe on the other side, wanting to tear down the physical barrier between us, wrap my arms around him and never let go. I waited until I heard his footsteps retreating, echoing a sense of loss in the pit of my stomach. There was a bottle of Mind Eraser in the chiller, but I ignored it in favor of a long, hot shower.

I’d wallowed enough. It was time for me to get my shit together.