7. Trust Me

CHAPTER 7

Trust Me

TORI

T he water and lights played off of my diamond as I washed my hands at the bathroom sink. Antonio had forced me to keep wearing the ring long after Ricardo died. I dried my hands and yanked it off… But what if Nate’s mother or sisters spied it? I couldn’t be a fake bride without a ring. At the very least, I shouldn’t call attention to the situation any more than necessary.

“Shit.” I slipped it back on my finger.

An ache split my head. I patted cool water on my cheeks and forehead, then eyed myself in the mirror as I dried off. The new magenta tint in my hair somehow stressed the bags under my eyes. I’d have been further ahead dying it blonde. At least it would have been sexier than this. Then again, what did I care? Hell, Nate didn’t even want to fake a marriage, so clearly it’d be a waste of my time trying to look my best for him. It wasn’t like I needed to attract male attention right now, anyway.

I finished and followed the trail of voices down the hall. One of them was my daughter’s. I stopped just outside the bedroom she and Opal were in, and observed through the cracked door. The room appeared frilly in pink and lace and with dark antiques, rather old-fashioned. The boy band posters on the walls provided the other clue that either Tracy or Jayne had occupied this room, likely never touched since the day they left home.

In the middle of the plush pink carpeting, Porsche twirled in a circle holding a pretty blue sundress with a floral pattern to her chest, giggling as the material swirled around her. “I love this, but I feel ready for a hoedown.” I did not know she’d ever been to one to know one.

City-born and raised, venturing further south into Kentucky was a whole new experience for her. Same for me. A half-smile tugged at my lips, recalling the slight Southern accent in Nate’s voice I’d detected with the way he called me lady and princess. If he ever called me darling with that twang, I’d either laugh or wet my panties.

“That gives me an idea. I’ll pair this with my cute cowboy boots Dad got me last Christmas,” Opal replied. “And Mom got me a short, sleeveless denim jacket. I’ll wear it for picture day next week.”

“You’re so lucky you get to start school tomorrow.” My daughter shocked me by saying that as she handed the dress back to Opal and plopped down on the end of the bed. Other than seeing her friends, I wouldn’t say school was her favorite thing in the world. She’d had to dodge some pretty nasty things said about her by some mean girls throughout middle school. Then Antonio insisted she be homeschooled by tutors since the day Ricardo was gunned down in a gangster-style retaliation over some family feud among the crime families that neither Porsche nor I had anything to do with. “Do you have a lot of friends?”

Opal giggled and rolled her eyes. “This is a small town. Everyone knows everyone. But I have a few close ones. We’re all trying out for cheerleading this Friday. Want to see my routines?”

“Sure. I learned to twirl the baton really well and always thought I’d be part of the school band one day performing and tossing my baton around.” Really? She’d never told me she was interested in taking that talent further before. Then again, the snobby girls at her school probably convinced her not to even try. My sweet Porsche with such a sunshiny personality shouldn’t be kept down like that. Guilt kicked in that I should have done more about it and complained to the school. But I’d wanted little attention drawn to me and our situation with Antonio. Fear kept me down, too.

“—I’ve been stuck in a truck with Mom and Nate for hours to get here. And I have no idea where we’re going.” My ears perked back up at hearing this bit of the conversation.

“What do you mean? Aren’t you going back home after your visit here?” Opal was smart enough to catch that. I almost entered the room to save Porsche from making a disaster out of this.

“Oh, I mean, Mom and Dad want to find a new home somewhere. We’re all tired of the big city.”

“Maybe you’ll stay here. Kissing Springs is a nice place to live. And we haven’t had a baton twirler in our band for years.” Opal put the rest of the clothes away in the bags, then grabbed a pair of old pom-poms made with purple and white yarn from the closet. She joined her on the bed. “It’s so funny to hear you call Uncle Nate your dad. The way Meadow, Tracy, and Jayne talk about him at the holidays because he never comes home is hilarious. They get mad at him for never showing up and call him a bunch of names. But then they all cry by the time pie is served. I can tell they really miss him.”

“Wherever we end up, I just hope we can be the happiest little family. That’s all I’ve wanted my whole life was for someone like Nate to come along and make my mom happy, and to be good to us. My real dad wasn’t, um, he just wasn’t very nice.”

Oh, God. Her words tugged at my heart. A hard rock formed in my throat, making it difficult to inhale as I took in a shaky breath. I had hoped I’d hidden Ricardo’s harsh treatment of me enough to keep the reality from her. I played along like everything was fine in my marriage, only so my daughter could be shielded from it all. But apparently long sleeves to hide the occasional bruises on my arms didn’t work as well as I thought.

“I feel like we could be such good friends. Could we stay in touch after I leave here?”

“I’d like that. Hey, this Friday after tryouts, Meadow is letting me have a sleepover. If you’re still in town, why don’t you come, too? It’ll be so fun.”

“Really? I’ll check with my mom.” The hope in Porsche’s voice killed me. Stray tears fell from the corners of my eyes. This was all too much like the dream I always wanted for my daughter. A nice place to live, where fear didn’t hang around us like dark clouds. Where she could have nice friends like Opal, and be a regular teenager, and get to cheer or sing or dance to her heart’s content.

Suddenly, from somewhere outside, a woman’s lovely voice carried to the tune of Happy Birthday, Baby, crooning at the top of her lungs. The girls ran to the window and peered out.

“That’s Aunt Prima—” Opal started.

“I recognize her. Isn’t she the famous rock star?”

“Yep. She lives here and married my Uncle Robbie. She’s so nice. You want to meet her?”

“Really? Yeah. I love singing and know her latest song by heart.”

The girls made their way out of the room, and I quickly retreated down the hall to the bathroom, not wanting to infringe on their fun. This could be the only chance Porsche had for it this week while we waited to see what came of Nate’s talk with Robbie. Of course, I’d hover nearby and watch her with Opal, because I couldn’t let my girl out of my sight. Net yet, not ever. Not until I felt safe again.

I dabbed at my eyes one more time, then exited the room, only to find Nate coming down the hall toward me.

“There you are. Prima’s here, but Robbie got called away on police business—Are you okay?” His eyebrows scrunched as if he noticed my sad, tired face as he got closer. Like he cared. I’m nothing to him but a duty to complete.

“I’m fine,” I spat and brushed too close, passing him.

He caught me by the arm. “Hey, it’s okay not to be fine?—”

“Let go!” I yanked away and backed to the door, cowering, throwing my arms over my head. An automatic reflex borne into me by the Bottestas’ angry, demeaning ways—both father and son.

“Jesus. Did they hurt you? Fucking bastards. I would never…” He shook his head and stepped forward, eyes pleading, a foot away from me, but then he backed off. “From now on, if you want me to touch you, you give me permission first. Whether it’s holding hands or anything. I swear to you, I’ll let you take the lead. But you need to trust me. I’m not the kind of guy who would hurt you.”

My pulse raced. At first because of the demons from my past. But now—because of the sincerity of Nate’s promise. Maybe I misjudged him, or didn’t have time to fully give him consideration until now.

I feigned a smile, but things hit me fast. My bottom lip wobbled.

“It’s been a lot, I get it.” He leaned a shoulder on the door frame and scrubbed at the back of his neck. “But from where I stand, I can tell there’s a strength in you. You’re determined and I fucking admire that.”

He surprised me with his compliment. “I have to keep going, for my daughter. She deserves a better life than she’s had, you know?” On the verge of breaking down, of letting everything that’s happened over the past twenty-four hours finally get to me, my voice cracked as I met his gaze and leaned against the other half of the frame for support, or I’d risk falling down. Here we were, two people thrown into a ridiculous situation. Strangers to boot. But all we had was each other right now.

“But so do you. You deserve better, too.” His eyes bore into me, like seeing into my heart, into my soul, reading every desire I held there.

My chin hit my chest and I couldn’t stop the tears if I tried. With my shoulders shaking, I wept, the tears flooding my face.

“Please. Please, Tori. Can I touch you now? Let me hold you and be the rock you need,” Nate whispered, taking a step again toward me. “Trust me.”

Suddenly, I knew I could. I had to. I fell forward into his arms, my hands on his pecs, and buried my face in his chest, sobbing into his shirt. He circled his arms around me. Not tight, like a lover would, but lightly, considerately. Rubbing a hand on my upper back, consoling me like a friend would. Because that’s all we could be. I had no energy to be more than that with my fake husband.