Chapter Six

Ben

I want to make this woman happy.

I don’t have a clue why, but I do. I know she’s been through some shit. Who hasn’t? I’ve been through shit of my own, but this is a woman who—according to Skye—used to love life. Used to live in the moment, smell the roses, and live life to the fullest every day. Let her hair down.

It’s literally down now, and it falls like a sleek curtain around her shoulders. So dark brown it’s almost black, but there’s a warmth to it. Her skin is a light tan, and her eyes big, dark, and beautiful. Her lashes are longer than I’ve ever seen on a woman.

Maybe she’s wearing mascara, maybe extensions, but as I look at her, I don’t think she is. Everything about her looks purely natural. Even the dark pink of her full lips.

Did I just ask her on a date?

I don’t date. Not really. When I do, I tend to pick the wrong women, so my friends-with-benefits relationship with Apple was a good thing for both of us. Until I ended it because… Because I watched my brother fall in love, watched how it changed him for the better.

I want that.

And when Tessa’s eyes lit up at the idea of the Oyster House and sitting at the bar, I couldn’t help myself.

Her eyes sparkled, and they were so beautiful.

They should always sparkle.

I want to make them sparkle.

“Where did you get Rita?” I ask.

“A shelter over by Betsy’s place,” she says.

“Who’s Betsy?”

I know very well where Tessa got her dog, and I know who Betsy is, but she doesn’t know that I know. I may as well move the conversation along.

“She’s a friend of Skye’s and mine. She’s in the wedding party, so you’ll get to meet her soon. She owns a pet treat shop called Betsy’s Bark Boutique. I helped her put together an online business. She’s doing great.”

“Good, glad to hear that.”

“I thought we were going to talk about the details of the bachelor and bachelorette parties.”

“Yeah, sure.” I set down my menu. “I have great news for you. Both the—”

“Hi, I’m Olivia.” Our server—a bubbly redhead—interrupts us. “I’ll be taking care of you today. Would you like a drink besides water?”

“Water is fine for me,” Tessa says.

“I’m good with water as well.”

“Awesome. I’ll give you a few minutes to look over—”

“I’m ready,” Tessa says. “I’ll have a burger with fries. Burger medium. No cheese, but I do want lettuce, tomato, and onion.”

“Absolutely.” She turns to Ben. “And you, sir?”

“I’ll have the Reuben, also with fries.”

“Very good. I’ll get this right in.” She smiles and flounces off.

“So you were saying?” Tessa asks.

“Right. Good news. Everything’s taken care of.”

She cocks her head. “Then why are we here to talk about the details?”

I shrug. “When we had a drink last Friday, I said I’d take care of it, and you said okay. So I took care of it. Everything you asked for. The lunch, the spa day, the beach day, the dinner, the gifts, the dancing.”

“You took care of all of that?”

“Braden gave me carte blanche,” I remind her. “All I had to do was call the coordinator at the resort. She set it all up for me.”

Tessa sighs. “Must be nice…”

“To have Braden Black’s wallet at your disposal? It is.”

“You have your own wallet at your disposal.”

She’s not wrong. I may not have the net worth of my brother, but I’m a close second.

She sighs again. “I’m sorry.”

“What for? I’m not. It’s great having money.”

“That’s not what I mean.” She takes a drink of her water. “I had a shitty day.”

Right. She got laid off. And I’m talking about parties and having an obscene amount of money.

Good going, Ben.

“You’re an accountant right?” I ask, even though I already know.

“Yeah. I know it sounds boring as hell, but I’ve always had a thing for numbers.”

“We can use good accountants at Black Inc. Do you want me to put out some feelers for you?”

She raises her eyebrows. “Feelers? Really?”

I chuckle.

“I’m sure you could find a place for me with one phone call,” she says, “but I don’t need a pity job.”

“It wouldn’t be a pity job. It would be a job.”

That actually gets a smile out of her.

It’s a tentative smile, but it’s a smile nonetheless, and it makes her face brighten just a bit.

My God, how radiant she must be when she’s actually happy, when she’s smiling because she’s ecstatic.

And I make it my goal, right here and now, to find a way to put that kind of smile on Tessa Logan’s face.

“Seriously, I can probably get you a job.” I raise my hand to stop her from interjecting. “And no, it would not be a pity job. We crunch so many numbers at Black Inc. that we can never have too many accountants.”

She pauses a moment, appears to mull it over. “It’s kind of you to offer. I’ll think about it.”

“Good enough. That’s all I ask. You can let me know tonight at dinner.”

She chuckles again, shaking her head. “You’re something.”

“Better than being nothing.” I wink at her.

Her cheeks redden then, and she looks away.

So she is attracted to me.

I like that. Like it a lot.

“Are you excited?”

“About what?” she asks.

“This weekend. The trip to Jamaica. The bachelor and bachelorette parties.”

“Oh yeah. Sure,” she replies. Her tone sounds more bothered than excited.

“All right, Tessa. I’m going to get you excited about this.” I pull up all the details on my phone. “Did you know we’re flying out on the company private jet?”

“Yeah.”

“You ever been on a private jet before?”

She scoffs. “Are you kidding? Only about a hundred times.” Her lips curve upward once more.

Yeah! I’m getting there. Sarcasm is a good thing. “You have such an amazing smile,” I say.

The redness hits her cheeks again, this time spreading to the top of her chest.

“You’re a beautiful woman, Tessa, but I think you probably already know that.”

Her smile fades. “Don’t tell me I’m beautiful,” she says.

“Why not?”

She looks down. “Because I don’t feel beautiful. Sometimes I look in the mirror, and I see…”

“You see what?”

“I see…a shadow. No features. Just a blank face.”

My heart cracks a little. “I know you don’t want to talk to me about this. And you don’t have to. I’m not going to insult you and say I understand, because I know I don’t. But I do know what it’s like to be fighting something, Tessa. It’s not pretty. But there is help.”

“I’m getting help.”

“I’m glad to hear that. And if there’s anything I can—”

She holds up a hand. “Stop. I don’t want to go there. I was actually having a semi-good time, and this will just ruin it.”

I nod. “I hear that.”

Olivia returns with our lunches and sets the Reuben in front of Tessa by mistake.

“That’s mine,” I say. “The lady doesn’t like sauerkraut.”

“Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Tessa frowns at me. “You don’t need to make a big deal out of it, Ben.”

I wasn’t trying to do that. To the contrary, I wanted to make Tessa smile. She shouldn’t have to be in such close proximity to sauerkraut.

Olivia reddens, flustered. She probably thinks I’m angry with her.

“Olivia, it’s okay,” I assure her with a smile. “Honest mistake.”

She attempts a smile in return, but it’s wary. I really don’t want her thinking I was upset. I’ll give her a huge-ass tip.

She sets the hamburger in front of Tessa. “I hope you like this. We’re famous for our burgers.”

“I’m sure it will be delicious,” Tessa says.

“You all let me know if you need anything else.” Olivia whisks away, pulling out a pad to take an order for another table.

I’m a gentleman, so I wait for Tessa to take the first bite of her burger.

I wait and I wait, and finally my stomach lets out a growl.

“Sorry,” I say. “The enticing scent of sauerkraut and all.”

“Oh, please. Go ahead. I’m just”—she looks at her burger, her eyes widening slightly—“gearing up for it.”

“After the pork fat and dairy diet you’ve been on, this will probably taste pretty good.”

“It does smell good,” she says. “My appetite has just been…”

“Hey. I get it. I do.”

“Please don’t insult me like that.”

I shake my head quickly. “You’re misunderstanding me. I’m not saying I get what you’ve personally been through. It’s like what I said before. I understand how it feels to fight demons.”

“Please.” She scoffs. “I honestly don’t mean to be disrespectful, but you’re a billionaire, and you can’t deny that money does make a lot of things easier. What the hell kind of demons have you ever had to fight?”

Her comment is one I’ve heard many times before. People seem to think money can take care of everything.

It can take care of a lot. That’s true. But it can’t erase demons. It can’t bring light into darkness.

The funny thing about darkness is that it’s actually not dark. You can still see. You can still hear. You can still smell.

You can smell rotted flesh, that sweet—sickeningly sweet—aroma that gets inside your nostrils and never really leaves.

It’s the smell of death.

My mother’s death.

Something I always blamed my father for—my father and his drinking. But recently I found out there was another culprit.

My brother.

He confessed it all to me.

I told him not to worry about it. It was in the past.

But doing the whole best-man thing with his confession still in my mind has been more difficult than I imagined.

I tell myself nothing has changed. This all happened decades ago, and we have the world at our fingertips now. We’re billionaires. A couple of construction guys from South Boston are fucking billionaires.

But that’s not the only demon I’ve had to fight.

Not by a long shot.

…

Fifteen years earlier…

The day comes when I finally decide not to go to work after school. I had a shit day. I had to break up a fight in the boys’ room. Three football jocks were shoving a freshman’s head into the toilet.

Poor kid. He was a nerdy-looking thing—skinny with freckles and bucked teeth. Voice hadn’t dropped yet. So I helped him up, got him dried off, and then chased the motherfuckers down the hallway. And who got sent to see the principal?

Me. Not the jocks, of course. They’re the big men on campus.

I did. The blue-collar brainiac who was trying to save a kid from three bullies who think they own the freaking school.

I didn’t end up getting in trouble, but only because the principal believed my story. When I asked what would happen to the jocks, I got no answer.

Wrong. I did get an answer. Just not in words.

Nothing.

Big fat nothing would happen to those Neanderthals who tormented that poor geek.

I’m sick and tired of what my life has become.

So I don’t go.

I don’t go to work.

I’m sick of it.

Braden, the good son, always went straight to work when he was in high school.

But I’m not the good son.

I never wanted to be the good son.

I miss my mother, but I don’t have a lot of memories from before the fire. I was only three.

Now? This is the life I lead. Working my ass off while I’m still expected to go to school and maintain perfect grades and attendance.

Today I’m not going.

Instead, I walk to the convenience store to get some beef jerky. I’ve got a few bucks in my pocket, and beef jerky is what I’m craving.

Dirk Conrad and his two minions, Jerry Thompson and Carlos Ortiz, stand on the side of the store, smoking cigarettes.

“Hey, Black,” Dirk says to me.

“Hey.” I walk past them.

“Come here,” he says.

These three are no good, and I know that. Still, I turn. I turn because I’m curious. What the hell do they want with me?

“What is it?” I ask.

He offers me a cigarette. “Want a smoke?”

“Sure.” I grab one.

I haven’t smoked a cigarette in years. Last time was in middle school with my friend Junior, who later moved away. We coughed and hacked the first time, but then that nicotine high drifted over us and we lit up again.

By the third cigarette, we had stopped coughing, and by the fifth, we no longer felt the high, so I stopped.

Just to be on the safe side, I hold the smoke in my mouth before I exhale. I don’t want to hack in front of Dirk and his cronies.

“What are you guys up to?” I ask.

“Hanging. Looking for some fun.” He blows a puff of smoke toward me. “What are you doing? We never see you around here.”

“Playing hooky from work.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I’m supposed to work with my brother and father at their construction site after school every day. Didn’t feel like going today.”

“Good on you, Black,” Carlos says. “This is senior year. You should be having fun.”

“You know what, Carlos? I couldn’t fucking agree more.” I take a drag on the cigarette, this time inhaling.

I don’t choke or hack.

And since it’s been so long since I’ve had a cigarette, I feel the nicotine high.

I take another drag.

“You’re just the kind of guy we need, Black,” Dirk says.

“You think, huh?”

“You’ve got brains and brawn. We need some brains.”

“What the fuck for?”

“We’re going to rob the convenience store,” he says, “and you’re going to help us.”

…

Darkness. One childhood caper can go wrong.

So very wrong.

“You don’t know anything about me,” I say to Tessa.

“I know enough about you,” she replies hotly. “You’re in the news all the time.”

I cock my head, ready to scowl, but I hold it back. “You think what you hear about me in the news and the internet and the brag rags is all there is to me? That’s what you think I am? A fucking caricature?”

She widens her beautiful eyes, and my God, I could get lost in them so easily. Even though I’m kind of irritated with her at the moment.

“I…I’m sorry,” she says. “I guess I just thought—”

“No. You didn’t think, Tessa. You didn’t think at all. I never have to worry about money another day in my life. But don’t think for one minute that I don’t spend every day being grateful for that. Don’t think I haven’t seen or felt pain in my life.”

She looks down at her plate. “I didn’t think that.”

“You asked me what kind of demons I’ve ever had to fight.” I shake my head. “Maybe one day I’ll tell you, but not now. Not today.”

All I wanted to do was make her happy, and instead I’ve taken a mental detour onto the dark road of my past.

Fuck.

Good going, Black.