Chapter Twenty-Five

Tessa

I wake in the morning, and for the first time in a long time, I actually feel like getting up.

What I really want is a long talk with Skye, but I can’t bother her. This is her weekend to spend with her fiancé.

I text Betsy instead.

Tessa: You up?

No reply. Just when I’m ready to give up, I see the three dots move.

Betsy: Not yet. You need something?

Tessa: I was looking for a breakfast companion.

Betsy: Sure. Let’s do it. I should shower first.

Tessa: I didn’t shower. Just throw on a bathing suit and a coverall, put your hair in a bun. Meet me out on the beach.

Betsy: Breakfast on the beach? That actually sounds fab.

Tessa: Awesome.

I throw my hair into a messy ponytail, put on a red bikini, and wrap a red-and-black sarong around me like a strapless dress.

When I walk out of my hotel room, I stare at the door in front of me.

Ben is behind that door.

Ben, who I asked to kiss me last night.

Ben, who I dreamed of.

Well…I’m not sure it was a dream. I know he was on my mind as I drifted off to sleep, and I didn’t have a nightmare last night.

That’s got to be a good thing.

I amble down the hallway and then down the one flight of stairs to the first level.

The kitchen is sounding with clatters, but I’m going to have my breakfast on the beach.

Ben arranged for servers to be available from six in the morning until midnight.

I find a cabana, grab two lounge chairs, pull them under the cabana, but then I change my mind and drag them back out under the sunshine.

Before Betsy arrives, a handsome server wearing no shirt approaches me. “Good morning, miss. What can I get you?”

“A cup of black coffee, please. And a plate of fresh fruit with two strips of bacon.”

“Coming right up.”

I’m glad I actually feel like eating. Fruit sounds good. Some succulent juicy fruit and a cup of strong coffee.

Betsy arrives, taking the lounge chair opposite me. “How are you doing, Tessa?”

I sit up. “I’m doing okay, Bets. But I need you to do something for me.”

“Of course anything.”

“Stop asking me how I’m doing. I need to stop ruminating.”

Betsy smiles. “It’s wonderful to hear you say that.”

“Yeah. I feel like I’ve spent my life being self-absorbed. First when I left my parents’ house. I was solely focused on me, all the things that had been denied me in their religious home. I was always focused on what I wanted to do. And now, after Garrett, I find I’m still focused on me. Only for a completely different reason.”

“You have a pretty good reason this time, Tessa.”

“But that’s just it. It’s not a good reason. I’m alive.” I stretch out on the lounger and feel the sun’s rays on my skin. “I’m on a beautiful Jamaican beach. My best friend in the world is marrying the man of her dreams. So I’ve been through something. I’m getting help, and today, for the first time in a while, I actually felt like getting out of bed, Betsy.”

“That’s wonderful,” she says. “We should tell Skye.”

“Absolutely not. If Skye shows up, I will tell her. But I refuse to make this weekend about me.”

“It’s funny that you say you’re so self-absorbed, Tessa,” Betsy says. “I’ve never thought about you that way.”

“You haven’t known me that long.”

“It’s not self-absorbed to want to live in the moment.”

“Maybe not, but I wasn’t content to just let Skye be happy with Braden. I made it all about me. About how I was feeling about the whole thing. And it led me to a place I never want to go again.”

The server returns with my fruit plate and coffee.

“Good morning, miss,” he says to Betsy. “What can I get for you this morning?”

Betsy eyes my plate of fruit. “I think exactly what you got her. But put a little cream in my coffee, please.”

“Absolutely.” His dark eyes twinkle at Betsy.

Betsy blushes as he walks away.

“So you think he’s hot?” I say.

“Don’t you?”

“I haven’t seen a man on this resort who isn’t hot yet.”

Except for that bartender last night. He gave me the creeps.

The server returns with Betsy’s food and keeps eyeing her. “I have a break in a few minutes,” he says. “Would you like to take a stroll on the beach?”

Betsy bites her lower lip and looks at me.

I wave my hand. “Please, Betsy, go if you want to. I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“If you’re sure you don’t mind.” She hops out of her lounge chair and smiles at the server. “How long is your break?”

“Only fifteen minutes. But it’s a chance for us to talk a little.” He holds out his hand. “My name is Manfred.”

“Betsy,” Betsy says with a smile. “Be back in a bit, Tess.”

Betsy kicks off her flip-flops and takes the arm that Manfred offers her. And boy, is Manfred good-looking.

I have to smile to myself.

I’m actually looking at men as a pleasure for my eyes rather than something that can harm me.

Again I think about Ben and the fact that he wanted to kiss me.

As much as I wanted that kiss in that moment, I agree. It probably wasn’t the right time.

Ben and I hardly know each other.

Which doesn’t explain why my heart is beating like a snare drum when he walks toward me.

He looks luscious. His hair is damp, so he clearly just got out of the shower. He’s wearing a flashy Hawaiian print shirt in green, gold, and blue, plus board shorts that match the blue on the shirt. His skin is lighter than mine, but he’s got a good tan going and he looks fabulous.

He helps himself to Betsy’s vacant chair, but he doesn’t lounge. He sets his feet on the ground, facing me.

“You are just the person I was looking for,” he says.

I cock my head and hold back a smile. “I am?”

“Absolutely. I have something you’re going to love.”

“I was having breakfast with Betsy.” I glance down to the beach where she and Manfred are walking hand in hand. “She’ll be back any minute. She went on a short walk with one of the servers.”

“Yes, I see them over there. She looks a little smitten with him.”

“Smitten?” I can’t help a chuckle.

“Taken?” He laughs. “Horny?”

I shake my head. “He only has fifteen minutes for his break, so Betsy will be back soon.”

“All right. We’ll wait until Betsy gets back, and then you’ll come with me.”

“What did you have in mind?” I ask.

I’m almost hoping he’ll say he wants to kiss me.

But he says something entirely unexpected.

“A cold plunge.”

I pause, blink a few times. “What? You mean like in the ocean?”

He laughs. “No. The ocean water is certainly colder than the air, but I’m talking about a real cold plunge. In ice water. Water that’s been chilled to fifty-five degrees.”

I shrug. “Fifty-five isn’t bad. It’s like an early fall day in Boston. I can go out in jeans and a hoodie.”

“But you’re forgetting that water is colder than air.”

“How does that make any kind of sense?”

“I could explain it to you, if I actually knew.” He laughs again.

“Well, thanks for the offer, but no way am I getting into a tub full of fifty-five-degree water.”

“Even after the hike up the Falls yesterday? Remember how invigorating it was?”

“Uh…it wasn’t fifty-five degrees.”

He gently takes my hand. “I think you’ll like it, Tessa.”

“I’ll like freezing my ass off?” My teeth chatter at the thought even as the warmth of Ben’s fingers makes me feel a jolt of pleasure. “I don’t think so.”

“Tessa”—his voice gets serious—“trust me on this.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m totally serious. Braden and I had one yesterday morning. We do it regularly.”

“Does Skye do it with him?”

“Not that I know of, but Braden and I have been doing it for years. It’s stimulating. But also, whether you can believe it or not, it’s really relaxing.”

“How in the hell is freezing your butt off relaxing?”

“First of all, you don’t stay in that long,” he says.

“How long do you stay in?”

“My record, as of yesterday morning, is eleven minutes.”

I drop my jaw. “Are you kidding me? Eleven minutes submerged in cold water? You’re nuts.”

“Not all the way submerged, just up to your neck. Obviously you keep your head out so you can breathe.”

I raise my hands in mock relief. “Oh, you’re not going to make me put on an oxygen mask? Thank God.”

“Trust me.” He meets my gaze. “You will like this.”

I sit up in my lounge chair and face him. “Look. I enjoyed the Falls. You were right about that, but somehow I don’t think you’re right on this one.”

“You may not like it while you’re doing it, but once you’re done? I guarantee you’ll love it.”

“Not for eleven minutes.”

“Of course not. For your first time, you’ll only do three minutes.”

“I’m not sure I can even take three minutes. How about three seconds?”

He smiles at me, and his hand twitches a bit. Does he want to touch me again? I honestly want him to. I can still feel his lips on my cheek from last night.

“I’m afraid you’re on your own,” I say. “Like I said, Betsy and I are having breakfast.”

He eyes my empty plate where my fruit was. Then he stands and looks into my coffee cup, also finding it empty. “Looks like you’re done with breakfast.”

I gesture to Betsy’s full plate and cup of coffee. “She’s not.”

“Her coffee is going to be cold by the time she gets back.”

“Maybe.” I wave to Betsy and Manfred. “But here they come.”

“Thanks for the walk, Manfred,” Betsy says.

Ben stands and offers Betsy her lounger back.

“Hi, Ben,” she says.

“Betsy. Manfred.”

“Good morning, Mr. Black. Can I get you anything?”

“Absolutely. A cup of your strongest black coffee, some scrambled eggs, bacon, and ackee and salt fish.”

“Coming right up.”

“Bring it in about twenty minutes,” he says. “Ms. Logan and I will be back by then.”

Betsy takes her plate of fruit and brings a slice of watermelon to her mouth. “Are you two going somewhere?”

“We are,” Ben says. “We’re going to go take a cold plunge.”