Chapter Three

ZARI

I t had only been minutes since I came back to the hotel room when I felt the door open behind me, followed by a cool blast of wind coming from the outside. Since I knew air-conditioning units couldn’t walk, I had a pretty good idea what caused it.

“Master.” I turned around, and it really was Alexandru.

He came to me wordlessly, cupping my face and looking into my eyes. His touch made me tremble, and I stayed still as he ran his hands over my body, searching for any sign of injuries.

“I’m fine.” I didn’t want him to worry.

His gaze returned to my face, and I realized that my reassurance hadn’t done any good. I could feel his hands shaking. “You were burning,” he bit out. “I could feel it, even though I didn’t see your vision—-”

Good, I thought numbly. Because he was the last person I wanted to know about my vision.

Shaking my head at his words, I cut him off, saying, “I was just... hot .” It was supposed to be a quip, but it fell awkward between us and when his gaze narrowed, I immediately looked away.

“What did you see, pet?”

I didn’t answer.

He cupped my face again, forcing me to look at him. “ Zari ...”

“ I can’t .” The words were torn out from me, and suddenly I could see it again.

The school was burning...

Katarina was dying...

Guilt flamed into life, a fire that didn’t just burn me but crushed me under its weight, nearly bringing me down to my knees.

Oh God, had it all happened because unrequited love had turned me into a selfish and vindictive bitch?

“Just tell me this, and don’t fucking lie,” Alexandru said in a hard voice. “Were you in danger in your vision?”

Biting my lip to stop it from trembling, I shook my head slowly and watched my Master’s powerful body relax at my answer.

A sob rose to my throat, but I forced it back down.

If only.

If only it could be me—-

Someone knocked on the door, and Alexandru stiffened, making me look at him in surprise. “What is—-”

“May I come in?”

I paled.

Katarina was here?

“She came with you?” The words came out of my mouth in a hiss. “You’ve been with her all the time?” In the back of my mind, I knew that I was acting out like a kid, knew that the anger was my defense against the guilt.

Alexandru’s handsome face had turned rigid. “You know I’ve been in a meeting. Read my mind if you will. I’m not lying—-”

“ Why is she here ?” I was shouting now. Outside, Katarina had fallen silent but we both knew that she was still standing there, hearing everything that was going on. The whole school may be outside for all I knew, but I couldn’t seem to make myself care.

I just wanted to be mad.

I wanted him to be mad.

So damn mad that he would punish me the way I deserved.

It was better than having him find out the shameful truth.

“What’s gotten into you?” Alexandru demanded. “You are not being your usual self—-”

“And that’s what? Someone who just stands aside every time she calls for you?”

“You know it’s not like that.” Alexandru gripped my shoulders almost as if he was prepared to shake some sense into me. “All this time, you know I’ve been avoiding—-”

“ Really? ” I let out a hollow laugh. “You’ve been avoiding her? Oh, that’s rich,” I spat. “You may be trying to avoid her, but we both know you weren’t really trying too hard—-”

“Stop this.” A muscle started ticking in his jaw.

“No!” I shook my head wildly. “I want to hear you say it—-”

The door opened behind us, and Katarina appeared in the doorway, a troubled look on her oh-so-lovely face.

Emotions warred inside of me.

Jealousy, bitterness, even hatred, but most of all there was guilt, and it made me want to scratch her eyes out, just so she wouldn’t accidentally see the truth in mine.

The thought left me paralyzed with shock.

Oh God, when had I become this evil?

“I’m sorry for intruding.” Katarina closed the door behind her. “But I thought you two should calm down—-”

She thought we should calm down? Who cared about what she thought? She wasn’t part of this—-

I shut that line of thought down, but the effort left me shaking.

Why was I so vindictive? Evil? Bitchy? Why?

“ I’m going .” I wrenched myself out of Alexandru’s hold. I had to leave before either of them realized how low I’d sunk.

I only managed a few steps before he spun me back around. “Where are you going?”

“Somewhere, anywhere I won’t have to see you.”

He froze. “What the fuck’s wrong with you?”

“Why do you even have to ask?” I was screaming again. I was losing it, and the more he kept me with him, the more I’d lose it until I was nothing but an empty shell, a being made soulless by my guilt.

“Zari—-”

“Let go of me! You want to be with her, don’t you? So be with her—-”

“I never said—-”

“But you’re always with her—-”

“Because you keep pushing me away!” This time, Alexandru had shouted, too.

The vampire hunter who was legendary for never losing his control, for always being so beautifully mannered, for never letting his temper get the best of him—-

I whitened at the realization that I was the only one who had made him this way. Mortification flooded me as the knowledge that everyone who had heard us would have known the same thing, too.

Alexandru was pale, too. “Zari, I—-”

I spun away.

There was nothing he could say that would change the truth.

This time, he didn’t stop me.

MOPING was something I had become really good at in the past months. I had the art of isolating one’s self down pat, with people generally steering clear once they had taken a good look at my face.

I had also developed a sixth sense for the best places to drown in self-pity, and at the resort I found it in the remotest part of the beach, a tiny strip of sand hidden behind the woods.

It was restful here, if not a little creepy. I would have been terrified if I hadn’t felt my Master’s presence in my mind, the blood bond between us giving me a sense of safety. It sucked, but it was the truth. I probably wouldn’t even have thought of venturing here if I wasn’t so sure Alexandru could be by my side in a second if I needed him to be.

Lying on the sand, I turned to my side and gazed at the woods. Autumn had just started, but the trees were all dead, branches thinning into leaf-less sticks. When I had passed it, there weren’t any birds either, as if the winged creatures knew only death awaited them here.

Time moved ever so slowly, and when I checked my phone, I was stunned that only five minutes had passed.

I slept.

When I woke up, Katarina was seated beside me, knees drawn up. She had her back to me, but I could see her shoulders were shaking.

“Katarina?” My voice was a low strained whisper. What would I do if she really were crying?

Wordlessly, she turned to me—-

Katarina’s entire face was gone, leaving behind a gaping skull blackened by fire. Your fault, this is all your fault, YOUR FAULT—-

She lunged for me.

I screamed.

ZARI!

ZARI!

And then I felt it, Alexandru shaking my body, hauling me out of my nightmare.

My eyes flew open.

Was I really awake this time?

“Zari,” Alexandru said hoarsely.

And then he was hauling me into his arms, and relief slammed into me as I felt the familiar heat of his body.

Thank God.

I didn’t even think of refusing the comfort my Master offered. I wrapped my arms around his neck as tightly as I could. I listened to his still-thunderous heartbeat, inhaled his scent, and pressed my hand against his chest. I did everything I could, feverishly, to assure myself that this was not another nightmare.

Before I realized what was happening, I had already started to cry, the tears falling silently down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry, pet.” My Master’s voice was raw. “I’m sorry for shouting at you.”

I shook my head against his chest. I deserve it. I didn’t dare speak yet. I was afraid if I did, I would find myself crying harder and the tears would never stop.

Guilt remained a crushing weight inside me, forcing me down into a bottomless pit of despair. I squeezed my eyes shut, but it was pointless. All I could see were my visions.

The school, razed to the ground...

Katarina, dying in front of me...

What if I really was the reason she would die?

What if she wasn’t the only one who’d die?

What if everyone in school died...and just because I was exactly what Rhapsody said – someone who loved a man who might not be able to love me in return?

Would I let everyone die just because of that?

My fingers tightened on Alexandru’s shirt. Master.

Alexandru stilled. What is it, pet?

I need to talk to Katarina. Alone.