Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

W iping the sweat from his brow with the inside of his arm, Simon stopped brushing his horse and took a step back.

He’d ridden most of the night, returning to the mansion after dark. Sleep had evaded him for the rest of the night until he’d climbed out of bed at the crack of dawn.

He’d spent the day caring for the horses, wanting to remain in the stables to keep his mind off of Octavia. The stables had been the only place on the estate where she hadn’t left her mark, yet her presence seemed to linger between the stalls of horses.

It had only been two days since his argument with Octavia, yet he couldn’t help but feel as if something significant was missing. The earthy scent of hay did little to keep his mind off of his problems.

“Is your plan to scrub and brush every single horse in the county?” Bernice lifted up her nose as she hobbled into the stables on her cane.

Looking over his shoulder, Cassin swore under his breath when he realized that he’d forgotten to cancel his grandmother’s visit.

“Will I need to pull the information out of you or are you willing to tell me where your wife is and why your house feels like a mausoleum? I’ve never seen such a bunch of downcast servants in my life. Have you threatened to cut their wages?”

She stopped in front of Simon and leaned on her cane, pulling her nose up at the beast in front of her. She had never been one for riding and seldom ventured into a stable, even in her youth.

Scratching his head out of frustration, Simon moved his sleeves further up his arms and continued to brush the horse, avoiding his grandmother’s gaze.

“Octavia is gone.” He placed his hand on the horse’s flanks when the stallion neighed.

“Gone? What do you mean she is gone? Make sense of the matter before I lose my temper. Your housekeeper practically burst into tears when I asked her what had happened.”

Bernice slammed the tip of her cane against the floor, causing the horses to jump as a cloud of dust swirled at her feet. The tip of her cane left an impression in the fresh hay beneath her feet.

Feeling his arm ache from his efforts, Simon ceased brushing the chestnut stallion and tossed the hard bristled brush into a bucket.

“Octavia agreed from the start that she would take up more permanent residence elsewhere once the matter with her cousin and Augustus was settled. I have a firm lead on Augustus; thus, Octavia has made plans to move on with her life. She will be staying with her uncle in London before moving on to Rome after her cousin has been found.”

He let out a heavy sigh and turned his back, reaching for the pitchfork that stood against the stall door.

“Simon Wakefield! You stop this at once and look at me!” Bernice lost her temper, knocking her cane against the floor repeatedly until all of the horses began to neigh and stomp.

Turning around with his jaw clenched, Simon looked at his grandmother, trying to keep hold of the stallion’s reins.

“Now you listen to me young man, and you listen well! I have had it up to my neck with you and your nonsense!” She whirled the cane above her head as if she were about to wallop him. “I may have deceived you with my illness, but that young woman is the best thing that has ever happened to you! I will stake my health on that!”

Her cheeks filled with color as she glared at him.

“You have never been happier than you’ve been with her. When in your life have you ever willingly gone to a ball and danced? You practically bit the head of that poor young man who was seen talking to her. When will you realize that you aren’t punishing anyone other than yourself by refusing to sire an heir? Your parents aren’t even here to see what they have done to you, yet you insist upon getting your revenge.”

“It’s not about getting revenge; I refuse to bring a child into this world!” he finally lost his temper and snapped at her.

Narrowing her eyes at him, Bernice straightened her spine.

“And what world would that be? One where its mother and father refused to see that they love one another? If that is what you are referring to, then I must say that I agree. What you have failed to realize is that in trying not to be like your parents, you have both succeeded in being exactly like them.”

“I have never once stepped outside of my marital bonds, and neither has Octavia! She may work on my nerves at the best of times, but she is as loyal as they come. Don’t you dare compare her to my mother, nor am I like my father!” His chest rose and fell with anger when he jabbed a thumb at the house and back at himself.

Bernice’s lips curved into a triumphant smile. “Oh, so you agree that you aren’t like your parents, and neither is your wife. I wonder then why it is that you are so adamant about not siring an heir. Would it be so awful for a child to grow up in a house where their mother and father are in love and never stray from each other’s beds?”

Simon frowned at his grandmother’s words. In all his anger and confusion with Octavia, he had failed to notice one very important aspect. Neither of them had ever strayed from their marriage; in the short space of time that they’d known one another, he’d never so much as looked at another woman.

“I can see that you may finally have come to the conclusion that you have been wrong. I will say this before I leave the matter alone, Octavia loves you. You may not have realized it until now, nor do I think she has realized it, but the two of you love each other more deeply than anyone I have ever observed in the past. You told me once that she had accepted her lot in life and agreed to stay by your side as a childless wife. Forgive me if I sound impertinent, but that seems to me to be the very definition of love.”

Swallowing hard, Simon took another shaky breath, recalling her tears in the study when she had yelled those very words at him.

…I was willing to stay by your side even if it meant I’d never bear a child…

“Love must and always does demand some form of sacrifice, Simon. Octavia has already shown you that she is willing to make that sacrifice. The question is, are you willing to make that sacrifice for her?” Bernice looked at him, holding his gaze as she placed both of her hands on the head of her cane.

Realizing what a fool he had been, Simon acted without thinking, swinging his legs onto the back of the chestnut stallion.

“Before you trot off into the sunset, consider this question. Do you love her?” Her eyes twinkled mischievously when Simon pulled on the reins of his horse.

“She will want an answer, trust me on that; your ride to London will provide you with more than enough time to contemplate my question.”

Nodding his acknowledgment, Simon turned his horse toward the stable doors. “And just so you know, you were never fooling anyone with that cane of yours.”

He dug the heels of his boots into the horse’s flanks and set off at a trot before leaving the stables at a gallop.

“And you were never fooling anyone with your little marriage of convenience line!” she called after him with a chuckle, waving her cane in the air.

The wind whipped through his messy hair as the horse’s hooves kicked gravel into the air.

It would take him a few hours to reach London, on horseback, but the ride was worth it to see Octavia again. He wasn’t certain if he loved her, but he knew that he needed to see her again. If that meant that he loved her, then he was willing to face whatever consequences came his way.

Wait for me.

His heart felt lighter than it had in days as he rode toward London.

Things didn’t seem so bad now that Octavia’s face drew him forward.

Taking the steps two at a time, Simon burst through the doors of the Earl’s London mansion.

Nobody seemed to be anywhere in sight as he moved from room to room, calling for Octavia as he glanced around every corner.

Fear gripped at his chest as he began to wonder if Octavia hadn’t convinced the Earl and her godmother to leave for Rome sooner than expected. He was just beginning to lose hope when he ambled back down the stairs and almost bumped into someone at the bottom.

“Your Grace?” A startled butler almost dropped the tray of silver he was carrying.

“Where is the Duchess of Sunderley? I must speak with her at once!” He grew almost frantic, his cheeks flushed, and his hair disheveled from the ride.

The older man, with a stick-thin build, cleared his throat and placed the tray on the table beside the coat rack. His long nose and small eyes almost gave him the appearance of a scarecrow.

“The Earl and the rest of the family went to Hyde Park for a promenade, Your Grace. I am afraid that they will not return for another hour at least. May I offer some refreshments in the drawing room while you wait, Your Grace?”

“There is no time; I will go and meet them in the park.” Simon turned on his heel just as the butler called to him.

“It would be wise to wait, Your Grace. There seems to be a storm brewing on the horizon. I could send for a carriage; one could get frightfully drenched in weather like this.” The man’s voice faded into the background as dark clouds pooled on the horizon, threatening to spill over at a moment’s notice.

Climbing onto the saddle and swinging his leg over the horse, Simon proceeded to race off into the distance.

Women gasped, and men swore as he rode with reckless abundance, not caring about anything other than finding Octavia.

Sweat beaded his brow as Simon pulled his horse into Hyde Park. The sun was about to set, and people glared at him, but he didn’t care.

He’d ridden for hours, only to hear from the butler that neither Octavia nor her uncle were home. Frustration marred his features as he struggled to see if Octavia and her family were anywhere around.

Spotting the couple in the distance, Simon trotted toward them and dismounted as soon as they became aware of his presence.

“Your Grace, we weren’t expecting to see you here.” Jack looked at Simon with a frown while Matilda seemed to clutch his arm even tighter.

“I am looking for Octavia; where is she?” he asked almost out of breath.

His eyes widened in shock when he realized that she could have left for Rome on her own. It wasn’t likely that her uncle would have allowed it, but that didn’t mean that her godmother hadn’t persuaded him.

“She has gone back to your home.” The Earl’s brow creased into a frown as he cocked his head to the side. “Has she not arrived? She did leave shortly before luncheon.”

The pit of Simon’s stomach began to churn as the day of Augustus’ disappearance played through his mind. It was entirely possible that Octavia had decided to run away. He wouldn’t have blamed her for that after everything he’d put her through.

“Surely you would have passed her carriage on the road; perhaps you missed her.” The Earl seemed convinced that she had gone back to Sunderley.

Simon was about to protest that he would have noticed her carriage along the way when Matilda suddenly intervened. “Isn’t that one of your connections? I think that man is trying to get your attention.”

She gestured to the trees in the distance.

Squinting his eyes in the direction of her finger, the Earl wrinkled his nose. “I don’t see any man over there.” The Earl raised his hand and shielded his eyes from the late afternoon sun.

“No really, I saw him gesturing to you quite frantically; I think it was one of your business associates.” She let go of his arm and gently nudged him in the direction of the trees across the park.

Jack frowned at her but turned away and headed toward the line of trees without further questions.

Matilda rounded on Simon at once. “Why are you looking for her?” She narrowed her eyes at him as if she were angry.

“I do not have time to explain, but I need to find her at once.” He refused to back down as Matilda thrust her finger in his face.

“You will make time if you know what is good for you. I trusted you with my goddaughter, only to find her back home with a tearful expression. I do not wish to know what has occurred between the two of you, but if you do not tell me why you are looking for her, I may very well refuse to tell you where she has gone.”

Gripping her hand, Simon moved it aside. “You have my word that I do not wish to hurt her again. I need to see her; only then will I be able to tell you why.”

Matilda seemed uncertain at first but seemed to give him the benefit of the doubt. “She hasn’t gone to Sunderley; her uncle doesn’t know, but she thinks that her cousin is in Surrey. An old family acquaintance lives there.”

“Do you know where in Surrey?”

Hope sparked in his chest despite the burning of his lungs. The pulsing of his veins from exhaustion didn’t matter at all as he pictured Octavia’s face.

Glaring at him again, Octavia’s godmother reached into her purse and withdrew a scrap of parchment.

“You are ever so lucky that I found it necessary to track down the address. I wasn’t about to let my only goddaughter gallop off into wide blue yonder without knowing exactly where she was headed.”

She pulled the piece of parchment away from him sharply and narrowed her eyes when he tried to reach for it.

Simon pursed his lips and humored the woman who had raised his wife like a mother.

“Now, I’m warning you, any more funny business where Octavia feels the need to run away, and you will have me to deal with. I am far less subtle than your grandmother. Decoy canes aren’t exactly my style if you catch my meaning.” She lowered her hand once again and allowed Simon to take the piece of paper.

Glimpsing the address, Simon nodded his thanks and turned back to his horse just as Octavia’s uncle came back.

“I think we had better take you to see an occultist. There is nobody either behind or in front of the line of trees. There is, however, a very irate swan that proceeded to chase me away from her children,” the Earl complained, dusting the patches of dirt off of his clothes.

Turning toward him, Matilda stifled a laugh. “Heavens, did you fight the swan? You look as if you’ve been through the war!”

The Earl narrowed his eyes at her and turned back to Simon. “You had better get back home; I suspect that Octavia will be looking for you by now.”

“Thank you for your time, I will send word once I have arrived and sorted everything out.” Simon nodded at Matilda and Jack before turning his horse in the direction he’d come.

Thunder rumbled in the distance as he crumbled the note with the address and placed it in the horse’s saddle bag as he began to ride.

A fine sheet of rain began to fall from the sky by the time he made it out of the park. His clothes were already soaked when he reached the outskirts of London.

“Nothing will stop me from getting to you.” He spurred the horse on and began to gallop in the direction of Surrey, unsure of anything other than the fact that he needed to hold his wife in his arms once again.

He could have kicked himself for hurting her. He’d never felt more stupid in his life.

If riding across the country for hours didn’t prove to her that he wanted her in his life, then he wasn’t sure what would.