Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

T wo or three days had passed since the night of the ball, and Simon found himself enjoying Octavia’s company more and more as time went by.

They spent their mornings together, talking, and their afternoons at tea with friends. There was something in Octavia’s eyes that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, yet she seemed content most of the time.

“And how are things progressing in the great plan to restore the family’s honor? Are you and the new duchess living as grand a life as the ton suspects?” Bernice placed her cup on the table beside her chair and waited patiently for her grandson to answer. “I know that I have asked about your marriage before, but I shall ask until I am blue in the face or at least until I get an answer that satisfies an old woman’s curious mind.”

Turning away from the window that overlooked the busy London street, Simon walked to his chair and took a seat.

“Am I to relive this conversation in these exact circumstances until the day that I die?” He recalled the tree incident and the eerie similarities that occurred.

Octavia was out with her maid, shopping for dresses when Bernice had decided to pay them a visit.

Considering his words, Bernice conceded. “Or at least until the day that I die.”

Simon looked his grandmother over. “You still don’t seem sick, Grandmamma; let us not flog a dead horse now that the matter has been settled. I am already married.”

His heart felt lighter now than it had on the previous occasion when they’d discussed the matter.

Bernice’s eyes twinkled mischievously as she gazed at Simon.

“You look well—more than well, actually, you look happy. It does my heart good to see you like this. I am glad that Octavia is out. I wanted to come over and patch things up with you. I know that we didn’t exactly leave things on a favorable note the last time that we spoke, but I am happy for you.”

“Thank you, Grandmamma, and while I can understand your need for a great-grandchild, it will be Augustus who provides you with one. My solicitor has let me know that he’s getting close to tracking him down.” Simon reached for his cup of tea and took a sip, making himself comfortable in his chair.

A strange look crossed her face as Bernice continued to stare at him. “Have you discussed these matters with Octavia? Is she content to live a childless life?”

Simon considered her words for a moment, deciding how much of the truth he wanted to tell her. “We have; she is content as long as she gets to travel.”

“And she has told you this?” She continued to purse her lips as she raised an eyebrow in question.

“Not in those exact words, but yes, she has. We’ve come to an agreement between the two of us.”

Bernice turned her attention back to her cup of tea. “I see; well, I shall not meddle any further if the two of you have indeed grown content in your marriage. It is still early days, and I cannot say that my hope has all but gone, but I am glad.”

Narrowing his eyes, Simon glared at her, yet his heart was no longer resentful toward her for forcing the marriage. “You should never have meddled in the first place.”

“Do you regret getting married?” Bernice caught him off guard with her question.

“No, I cannot say that I do. Despite my reservations, Octavia has made me happy in ways that I never expected,” he answered truthfully.

Allowing her smile to broaden, Bernice sipped her tea and eyed him over the rim of her cup. “Well then, miracles can happen. I guess the big question, in that case, is if you love her?”

The question punched him in the gut as he wondered what to say.

He’d never been in love in his life. His parents had never supplied him with an adequate or even a reliable example. How was he to know what love felt like? Or if it even existed.

“I see,” Bernice spoke up when he took too long to respond. “I cannot say that I am an expert on the matter, but does the atmosphere suddenly change when she walks into a room? Does the sound of her name instantly make you look up? And do you find yourself thinking of her even when she’s not around? All of these things can be an indication of affection.”

“But is affection an indication of love?” Simon frowned at her strange turn of phrase; they had been discussing love, not the merits of affection.

“You are wiser than I give you credit for. Affection is indeed the first feeling that leads to love. Love will come when you are willing to sacrifice anything and everything for her. Love cannot exist without the sacrifice of self.” Her eyes darkened as she sipped her tea and held his gaze, making him think about her words.

Was she implying that he did not love Octavia unless he was willing to sacrifice everything he held dear for her? He would certainly travel to the ends of the earth if she ever needed anything from him, but was that what his grandmother meant?

What about your vow?

The words echoed in the back of his mind almost as if his grandmother was saying them out loud. The thought made him uncomfortable as he shifted in his seat.

Giving up on his vow would mean risking the promise he’d made to himself to never raise a child in a world as cruel as the one that he inhabited.

“Ah, Octavia, I’m so glad that you’re in time to join us.”

Simon looked up instantaneously, responding to the mention of Octavia’s name.

“I hope I’m not too late.” She came into the room and chose a seat beside Bernice.

“Not at all, in fact, we are off to quite a good start.” His grandmother gave him a knowing smile before turning to Octavia and enquiring about all the stores that she had visited.

Something in his chest clenched furiously as Simon realized that he’d responded to Octavia’s name.

Am I beginning to fall in love with her?

The thought scared him more than he wanted to admit. What would happen if he fell in love with his wife?

“Simon and I were just talking about you. How are you settling in here in London? It’s quite a change from the country estate.” Bernice gave him a knowing smile, adding to the fear that he felt in his chest.

“Quite well, thank you. Simon has been most gracious in helping me settle in.” Octavia shot him a charming smile that caught him off guard and worsened the confusion in his chest.

“Is that so? That is interesting indeed.” Bernice barely suppressed a chuckle before sipping her tea.

The light atmosphere of their banter became too much for him to bear, and Simon suddenly stood. “I forgot that there are a few things that I need to see to before this evening. If you would both excuse me.”

He hurried from the room despite the protests that followed in his wake.

The look of confusion in Octavia’s eyes only spurred him on as he hurried from the room and shut the door behind his back.

Stopping outside the door, he shut his eyes and leaned against the wooden frame.

What should I do?

The question swam in his mind with unrelenting force. His plan had seemed so simple at first, but now, everything was beginning to unravel as time moved on. Octavia was growing increasingly fonder of him as he was of her.

“Don’t mind him dear, he’s always quite busy when it comes to matters in London. Things will settle down soon. He already seems far more content than I’ve seen him in years. These things just need a bit of time.” His grandmother’s muffled voice carried through the door as he pushed himself up and began to make his way to his study.

Things were getting far too overwhelming for him as everyone around him continued to point out the truth.

Octavia was beginning to change him, but at what cost?

Simon lost track of time as he stared into the dying embers of the fire in his study. The conversation with his grandmother had scared him enough to withdraw for the rest of the evening as the ladies finished their tea.

Perhaps it would have been better if they took up separate lodgings once Isolde and Augustus had been found. Living with Octavia certainly presented him with problems even if they had agreed.

The door to his study creaked open as Octavia poked her head around the corner.

“I thought you might be in here.”

She shut the door behind her back and tiptoed into the room as if she was trying not to wake the rest of the house.

“We missed you at tea this afternoon; your grandmother said to give you her regards when she left.

Smiling at her, Simon watched as she perched on the armrest of his chair and ran her fingers through his hair as if the gesture was the most natural thing in the world.

“There was some business that I needed to take care of.” He swallowed hard when she placed her hand on his chest and slipped her fingers beneath the fabric of his shirt.

“I hope you aren’t too busy to spend the evening with your wife?” she leaned down and whispered seductively in his ear.

Shutting his eyes, Simon felt his worries floating away with every stroke of her fingers. There was a lot that he needed to figure out, yet her presence in the room made him push it aside. Whatever his decision would be, he would make it in the morning.

Taking her hand from his shirt, he guided her to the front of his chair and pulled her by the hips until she straddled his lap.

“I didn’t lock the door,” she whispered above his head, shifting closer to his body with her fingers tangled in his hair.

“It doesn’t matter; everyone else is asleep,” he growled against her chest and buried his face between her breasts.

“Would you like to go upstairs?” She held him close, playing with the hair that hung in his collar at the back of his neck.

Moving her dress up her thighs, he allowed his fingers to caress her core over the sheer fabric of her chemise.

“No, I want to stay here. Will you stay with me for a while?” His fingers slipped past the fabric and entered her folds, making her writhe with pleasure.

“I guess I could stay here for a little while.” Her lips parted in ecstasy as he continued to tease her before lifting her in his arms and carrying her over to the desk.

With one wave of his arm, he shoved the clutter to the ground and laid her on his desk positioning himself above her before moving her dress up her thighs.

Octavia moaned with pleasure as he entered her, gripping the edge of his desk as he began to move.

The feeling of being inside of her drove all of his fears away as he made love to the woman he’d married. Nothing else seemed to matter as he moaned with pleasure and gripped her side.

Shifting closer, Octavia came up straight, placing her hands on the back of his neck as her hips moved in time with his thrusts.

“Simon…” she moaned for him, driving him wild with lust as her legs began to shake with pleasure.

His body suddenly stiffened as the pace increased signaling the start of his orgasm.

Not now.

He shut his eyes and held off as long as he could before withdrawing and stopping his seed. Pulling up his breaches, he drew closer to her again and kissed her neck.

“I want you close to me…” Octavia breathed above him, pulling the laces of her corset free behind her back until her breasts sprang free beneath the confines of her dress.

Using both of her hands, she pulled on the fabric of her dress until her breasts came into view.

Placing his other hand between her thighs, Simon began to pleasure herself, working his fingers into her core as he gently pushed her back on the desk and began to lick her nipples.

Her body squirmed with pleasure as he picked up the pace, working his fingers in and out with his thumb duplicating his efforts.

It wasn’t long until she cried out in pleasure, her legs quivering as her face turned red.

Pulling her into his body, Simon held her close, stroking her hair as she whimpered from the power of her climax. Fear filled his body the tighter he held her as he realized that there had been a moment when he’d considered staying inside of her.

Things can’t go on like this.

His chest clenched when she snuggled against his neck and kissed a path up to his cheek. Too much was at stake if he kept on living with his wife. He needed to find his brother as soon as possible and end the charade.

“Shall we go up to bed?” she breathed against his neck, trying to regain control of her breathing.

“Yes, let’s go to bed,” he whispered in her ear before pressing a kiss against her head.

Hoping from the desk, Octavia straightened her clothes before cupping his face in her hands.

“I hate it when you pull away from me like that. I want to feel your skin against mine until the very end.” She shut her eyes and kissed his lips.

And that is why things should end.

His heart felt as if it were breaking as he led her out of the room and up the stairs to her chambers. He wasn’t sure how he would go about the separation. Breaking her heart seemed too cruel of a deed after all of the intimacy they had shared.

Octavia slipped out of her dress and climbed beneath the covers, before patting the bed beside her.

Feeling an overwhelming sensation of dread for the things to come, Simon climbed into bed beside her and drew her closer to his chest.