Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

O ctavia’s heart fluttered furiously when Simon placed his hand on her hip and drew her closer. The waltz began with a swirl of couples moving around them in whirls of color.

What was he thinking?

Confusion filled her mind from the anger in his eyes to the gentle way he held her waist.

Was he jealous or simply annoyed that she’d strayed away from her godmother?

“What do you think you were doing?” he finally hissed at her when the rest of the couples were distracted by their dance.

He seemed to be angry, yet his eyes held a hint of hurt that she couldn’t understand.

She wasn’t sure how to respond when a frown creased her brow.

“I was talking to an old friend, that is all.” She allowed herself to be spun under his arm before being drawn back into his arms.

The couples around them didn’t seem to pay them much mind as they all focused on the dance at hand.

“The man didn’t seem like an old friend. Or at least a good one at that. You seemed rather vexed, and the expressions on his face didn’t seem to convey any kind of polite conversation. You shouldn’t be speaking to a man on your own; it isn’t becoming for a duke’s wife.”

A muscle on his jawline bulged as he clenched his jaw.

Did he think that Timothy was a lover?

Their conversation from the night of their wedding came to mind as she recalled his words.

You may do as you please, as long as you are discreet.

Not only did she not agree with the statement, but she found the idea of taking a lover to be utterly offensive after everything they had been through since their marriage.

Irritation flared from the pit of her stomach as she grew angry.

“My godmother was present for most of the conversation; she only left us to greet some of her guests. And for your information, Timothy Reed is an old friend whether you choose to believe me or not.”

“You should have gone with her,” Simon growled under his breath, leading her in a circle behind his back before pulling her back in and ignoring her angry remarks.

He was jealous.

The pit of her stomach fluttered for an entirely different reason as Octavia was pulled back into his arms. Her face came closer to his as the rest of the ball suddenly faded into the background. The visceral response throughout her body when his thumb moved over her wrist evoked a fine layer of bumps on her skin.

Their dance began to seem more like a subtle seduction rather than a waltz. Every step and turn seemed to determine who would win as they battled for dominance.

“As far as I could tell, Your Grace, you were just as submerged in conversation with others as I was.” She felt her breath moving effortlessly through her body as they danced, adding to the confusion of their argument.

Why wasn’t she angrier with him? Did she like the fact that he was jealous of her company? The attraction in her core only grew stronger as the song played on.

A look of surprise flashed across his face as he looked down at her.

Did he think I had forgotten about him all evening?

She recalled the smile on his face as a man he had referred to as his friend had laughed with the group of women. She had wanted to join him and meet his friend, but it had seemed rude at the time to interrupt their conversations.

“What were you speaking to him about?” Simon seemed to breathe even deeper as he looked into her eyes, guiding her expertly across the floor without missing a step.

The chandelier overhead lit up his eyes, highlighting the flecks of brown in the seas of green. She marveled at how handsome he was with his light green eyes and muscular build, making it almost impossible to concentrate.

“We were reminiscing. Our families have known each other for many years. Timothy Reed is the son of a viscount who is a good friend of Matilda’s.” She explained the situation to him, not wanting to bring up the fact that Timothy had been less than a gentleman towards the end.

The rumors of his family’s past had chased him enough without anyone bringing it up. She almost felt guilty after realizing that her interaction had bothered him.

“Was the memory a particularly vexing one? Or was I mistaken in thinking that the two of you were quarreling toward the end of your conversation?” His hand tightened on her waist, sending a shiver of unexpected pleasure down her spine.

How long had he been watching her? She was almost certain that he hadn’t been looking at her throughout the evening. Yet the thought of him watching her caught her off guard.

“It wasn’t vexing per se; Timothy had recalled something that I didn’t quite agree with, and I was only setting him straight. We didn’t see eye to eye on the subject, and we decided to leave the matter be in the end.”

She suddenly became painfully aware of the fact that her hip was pressed against his, leaving little to no space between them as they danced.

Her core fluttered with more than just irritation when he spun her under his arm and pulled her close enough to whisper in her ear. The feeling of his hot breath against her skin was quite exhilarating even if they weren’t alone. She almost forgot herself and moaned when his lips brushed her ear for the briefest of seconds.

“I don’t think that you’re telling me the truth, Octavia.” His voice was low and demanding, creating an intense feeling of desire within her.

Pulling back, she looked into her eyes and realized just how jealous and angry he had been by her interaction with another man. She had been attempting to spare him the pain of gossip, yet she had failed and angered him instead.

“I was defending you; he had mentioned the rumors regarding your parents, along with several other unkind remarks. I let him know that you are a good man who doesn’t deserve his scorn.” She let out a breath almost as soon as the music stopped and held his gaze.

The silence surrounding them both in their own little world was deafening despite the chattering of happy couples leaving the floor.

“Thank you,” Simon whispered beneath his breath, letting go of her hands.

“You’re welcome.” She felt her breath flowing through her lungs as if every inch of her body had suddenly felt the sweet kiss of relief.

He believes me.

The Duke glanced over her shoulder for a second before looking back. “Your godmother is attempting to gain your attention. You had better acknowledge her before she knocks someone over.”

Looking over her shoulder, Octavia spotted her godmother from across the room. She stood beside a group of women, animatedly waving her arm in the air to gain Octavia’s attention.

Nodding her acknowledgment, Octavia turned to make her excuses to Simon, but he had already left her side, heading toward his friend.

Simon joined Arthur who seemed to have been watching the exchange with a great deal of interest.

“I take it that your little dalliance with the young lady did not go as planned. It doesn’t bode well that you are standing here by yourself.” Simon’s eyebrow hooked into a question as he stopped at his friend’s side and turned back to the rest of the ball.

Octavia had made her way to her godmother and was currently talking to a group of men and women. His heart still raced from the honest look in her eyes when she’d told him the truth.

She defended me.

There had only ever been two other people in his life that had come to his defense, Arthur and his grandmother, and even they hadn’t looked as fierce as Octavia.

Arthur drew his attention back to their conversation by clearing his throat.

“Unfortunate incident that, the young lady in question had forgotten to mention that she is engaged to be married to a young lord—a fact that very quickly became a problem when the man in question demanded to know why I was entertaining his betrothed alone on a balcony. The whole debacle caused quite a scene, actually; you would have noticed if you hadn’t been so enthralled by your wife.”

Simon tore his eyes away from Octavia who seemed to be demanding the attention of all who listened to her.

“Much like you are now,” Arthur smirked. “She seems to have cast a spell on you; the attraction between the two of you was palpable even from across the room.”

“I was merely playing the part that everyone expects; there was nothing more to the interaction than that,” he dismissed his friend’s claims and swallowed hard when Octavia seemed to be speaking to an older man who had pushed his way into the intimate group.

He wanted to march across the floor and take her away with him, yet that would do more harm than good.

“You’re clearly besotted with the woman; I’ve never seen you act so jealous in all the years that I’ve known you. Why do you feel the need to keep up the charade?” Arthur remarked more seriously.

Clenching his jaw, Simon turned to his friend. “I am not jealous, nor do I desire my wife; she may speak to whomever she desires. Her affairs are her own. And even if I desired her, I would not act upon those desires. Intimacy in a marriage can bring far more problems than what it’s worth.”

“What do you mean by that?” Arthur asked with a deep frown etched into his brow.

“I married Octavia out of duty and nothing more. I plan on finding my brother as soon as possible. When I have tracked him down and brought him back home, I shall insist upon his marriage and siring an heir.”

He left out the part about traveling abroad and possibly taking up separate residences from his wife. The more time he spent with her, the more he realized that keeping his hands off of her would prove to be difficult.

There had been a deep sense of attraction between him and Octavia, yet those moments only led to trouble. He thought of the moment at the pond when he’d been tempted to do more than just pleasure her with his tongue. His blood still ran hot at the thought of his head between her thighs and her hand pleasuring him beneath the water.

A second waltz began as he spotted Matilda being led onto the dance floor by Octavia’s uncle. Octavia stood back, smiling gently with a far-off look in her eyes as she watched.

What is she thinking?

Simon fought the urge to take her home when another man approached her and started a conversation.

Shaking his head, Arthur sighed and placed his hand on the Duke’s shoulder.

“You know, Simon, ever since I have known you, you have been hell-bent on upholding honor and doing what is right in the eyes of the ton and your family. Don’t allow honor to keep you from seeing what is right in front of your eyes.” He turned his head to Octavia before looking back to Simon and pursing his lips.

Octavia had seemingly slipped the man’s attention as she stood on the edge of the dance floor, contently watching her uncle dancing with her godmother.

His heart raced uncontrollably as Simon realized that he had been relieved to see his wife on her own.

Was I acting out of jealousy?

His throat suddenly felt dry when Octavia met his gaze from across the room and smiled.

I have to be more careful.

She moved her gaze back to the dancing, making his pulse race with desire when her red shawl slipped down her arm, exposing the milky flesh of her shoulder.

“She is quite beautiful,” Bernice spoke softly, coming to her grandson’s side as she watched Octavia from across the room.

Blinking back the daze he had been in, Simon looked at his grandmother.

“I’ve been watching her all evening. She commands the attention of all those around her without even a hint of arrogance or superiority. I often thought that a beautiful woman was needed to help you see the error of your ways, yet Octavia has far exceeded my expectations. My only fear is that you will not allow yourself to love.” Her face was serious as she adjusted her fingers over the top of her cane and looked at Simon.

The hurt and her eyes made Simon realize that his grandmother had spent more hours worrying about him than he’d realized.

“Grandmamma, I still will not sire an heir,” he lowered his voice so that nobody would hear. “I will be good to Octavia and allow her all the freedom that her heart desires, but I will not go against my vow, no matter how many times you ask it of me.”

Bernice’s eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks. “Then I am afraid that you may very well miss one of the greatest lessons in life. I have tried my best to help you see the error in your thinking, but if you wish to keep your heart closed off to the possibility of love, then it shall be your burden to bear.” The hurt in her eyes tugged at his heart.

“There is more to life than siring an heir; having a child is not the greatest of achievement of one’s life.” His voice was almost shaky as he swallowed hard.

“Does Octavia know that you do not wish to sire an heir?” Bernice ran her tongue over her lips and drew her bottom lip into her mouth, concern marring her aristocratic features.

Simon clenched his jaw, glancing across the room at his wife who seemed to be lost in a world of her own. “We have briefly touched on the matter, I didn’t go into detail, but I did mention that I do not wish to sire an heir.”

She drew his attention back to her with a heavy sigh. “I want you to listen to me very carefully, now, Simon; there may come a day when you have to choose between your vow and your heart. I pray that you will choose correctly.”

She lifted her hand with tears in her eyes and cupped his cheek before pursing her lips and ambling back into the crowd.

What does she mean?

He turned to Octavia with a frown and watched her closely.

What if she didn’t fully understand that he never wanted to have any children? Would she still insist upon sharing a home with him if she knew? His heart suddenly jolted with a strange kind of fear as he rubbed his fingers against his palm.

What if Octavia didn’t even realize that she may want children in the future?