Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

“ W hat is going on here?” Simon yelled over the servants’ heads, bringing the music to a screeching halt.

Gasps of shock filled the air as servants turned and looked at him with flushed faces. The boy who had been playing the fiddle shrunk into the crowd as he placed the offending instrument behind his back.

“Do I pay you all to have a good time while the day’s duties fall behind?” His anger rose as he folded his arms over his chest.

“It was my fault, Your Grace. The servants are not to be held accountable for any of this.” A tired feminine voice called to him over the heads of the servants as the crowd suddenly parted.

Simon felt his heart skip a beat when he caught sight of his wife and housekeeper in the middle of the circle. Her dark hair was loose and wild as a single strand stuck to her lips. Her cheeks were just as flushed as the servants, yet her eyes were filled with sheer determination.

“I instructed Willy to play the fiddle. I thought the servants might enjoy a moment of levity during their very busy day.” She lifted a hand and removed the strand of hair that had clung to her face, drawing Simon’s attention to her full lips.

Swallowing hard, he pushed back the urges of desire he felt toward her. “Levity? Do you not understand the gravity of the situation? Work has fallen behind; schedules have been disrupted—all because of this frivolity.” He waved his hand over the crowd of servants in disgust.

Locking her eyes on his, Octavia took a few steps forward and closed the distance between them. “This was my fault, Your Grace. The servants are not to be blamed or punished. I thought they may enjoy a moment of respite. I didn’t realize that you would disagree.”

“Leave us,” Simon barked at the servants over her head, keeping his eyes locked on hers.

A low susurration filled the air as everyone scurried away as fast as they could, leaving Octavia and Simon alone at the bottom of the garden.

“Do you understand how irresponsible and inappropriate your behavior has been?” He glared at her after making sure that everyone was out of earshot before beginning his reprimand.

Octavia stood tall and thrust her chin in the air. “I am well aware of my responsibilities as a duchess, Your Grace. Even if you seemed hell-bent on keeping me in bed this morning. What I am not blind to is the fact that even servants deserve a moment of frivolity .”

The fierceness in her eyes struck him when he noted the steady rise and fall of her chest.

“I thought it best for you to learn the ropes before falling headfirst into your new duties. Judging by what I have seen here, I think I was right!” He raised his voice and narrowed his eyes, vexed by the way she had addressed him in front of his servants.

“Not accustomed to? Have you forgotten that I am a lady, Your Grace? I am not some gentle flower that you picked from the marriage market. I am well aware of the duties that befall a duchess.” She stood her ground and snapped back at him, balling her fists at her sides.

“Well, then I expect you to start behaving like one! There are plenty of responsibilities that go into running an estate of this size. So next time, do not to involve the servants in your whimsical flights of fancy!”

He leaned closer and felt the heaviness of his breathing when the tension grew thicker between them.

Octavia’s mouth fell open as her eyes flashed with anger. “How cold does one have to be to be so angered by music and dancing? All of this because I wanted to hear a song from my childhood.” She raised her voice to match his, bringing her face inches away from his.

Realizing that she had been indulging in a form of comfort, Simon searched her eyes for a moment before taking a step back.

“Be that as it may, there is no place for such… sentimentality where work is concerned. We cannot fix our troubles with idle distractions, Duchess. Our duties should not be swayed by nostalgia.”

He felt a momentary pang of guilt at having forgotten the death of her parents, but he reminded himself that work needed to be done.

He had asked the servants to leave her be, thinking that she would find other ways of occupying her time.

Octavia took a step back as if he had slapped her. “Sentimentality and nostalgia? You equate my grief to a simple sentimentality?”

Pushing back the urge to apologize, Simon lifted his head. “As sad as your past may be, we cannot allow our lives to be ruled by emotions. Duty must always come first.”

She continued to stare at him, seemingly dumbfounded by his reply. “You know the ton was right about you, Your Grace. You are truly a cold man.” The hurt in her voice was evident when she lifted her skirts and attempted to push past him.

Moving quicker than a flash, Simon reached out and gripped her wrist, pulling her back to him until she was once again looking into his eyes.

“Be careful what you say to me, Duchess; you might get burned if I choose to stop being cold, as you so eloquently stated.” His chest rose and fell with anger when the sweet scent of her perfume wafted over his face.

Her breasts rose and fell beneath the confines of her corset, adding to the heat rushing through his veins. He wanted nothing more than to press his lips against her until she yielded to him.

“I am not afraid of getting burned, Your Grace.” She brought her face closer to his until their lips were nearly touching, making his stomach coil with desire.

Simon’s eyes flitted to her lips, lingering on their fullness for a moment before dipping to her chest and back up to her eyes.

The confusion of attraction and anger that he saw mirrored in her gaze drove him to action as he let go of her wrist and took a step back.

I cannot allow myself to lose control again.

Octavia stood rooted to the spot for a moment before looking him in the eyes as her chest continued to rise and fall in steady rhythms.

“I shall be in my chambers, Your Grace, not that you would care about that.” She turned on her heels and stormed away from him, making her way toward the house.

Simon swallowed hard, watching her leave as he felt the sting of guilt in his chest. It wasn’t her fault that she had wanted a moment of happiness, yet he couldn’t bring himself to go after her. The attraction he felt toward her was far too strong for him to resist.

He wouldn’t risk going back on his vow, not even for his wife.

Octavia fought back her tears as she slammed the door to her chambers behind her.

How can he be so cruel?

The coldness she had seen in his eyes sent a shiver down her spine. She hadn’t meant to open up to him, but the admission of remembering her parents had come out in the heat of the moment. What had she been expecting? That he would say all is forgiven and take her in his arms?

Heat filled her cheeks when she realized that she had been expecting an ounce of humanity from him. There had been a moment when they were arguing when she had wanted the kiss from the previous night.

Feeling a sense of shame and confusion, she crossed her arms over her chest and walked to her bed, perching on the edge as she faced the door.

Why do I feel so different in his presence?

Her heart skittered at the thought of kissing him again as she raised her hand and placed it over her chest. His actions had angered her as much as they had hurt her.

“Your Grace, could I have a word in private?” Mrs. Farley drew her attention away from her sorrows.

Sniffing back her tears, Octavia took a moment to compose herself before answering. “You may come in, Mrs. Farley.”

She quickly wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands and blinked back the rest of her tears. She had been crying out of frustration more than anything else, yet she still didn’t want the housekeeper to know.

The door creaked open as a worried Mrs. Farley stepped inside and shut the door behind her.

“I hope you don’t mind the intrusion, Your Grace. I wanted to check on you after the whole ordeal in the garden.” Her face was kind, yet there was a hint of sadness in her eyes.

Octavia shot her a reassuring smile and sat up straight.

“If you don’t mind me speaking frankly, Your Grace, the servants are both grateful for the brief moment of joy and the fact that you came to their defense. You have their appreciation.” Mrs. Farley shot her an encouraging smile.

Sighing heavily, Octavia forced another smile and shook her head. “Thank you for trying to cheer me up, Mrs. Farley, but I don’t think that the Duke would agree with your assessment of the situation.”

Mrs. Farley’s face softened as she came closer to the bed and folded her hands in front of her lap. “I know that His Grace may come across as harsh and cold, but it isn’t all his fault.”

Octavia frowned and cocked her head to the side. “I don’t understand, Mrs. Farley; how on earth is it not his fault? Forgive me for sounding cruel, but I believe that we are all responsible for our own actions. One can choose not to react in a way that is utterly unfeeling.”

She used her hand to slice through the air with conviction. The older woman may have felt the need to stand up for the man who paid her wages, but Octavia wasn’t willing to accept excuses for such poor behavior.

Beginning with a sigh, Mrs. Farley pursed her lips. “I hope I am not out of place in speaking as I see fit, Your Grace, but the Duke is a product of his upbringing as much as any of us are. I have served the Sunderley state for many years. The Duke was raised in a house where his young eyes were exposed to matters that should never have been as they were in the first place.”

“I still don’t understand, Mrs. Farley; what are you trying to say?” Octavia felt her head aching as she fought back the emotions of the day. Horrible things happened to people all the time, and none of that excused bad behavior.

“If I may make an observation, Your Grace, you seem to have come from a very loving family,” the housekeeper stated gently.

Octavia swallowed hard and nodded, still feeling a bit sad after her encounter with the Duke. “Yes. My parents were very loving. They always put me first in all that they did. I miss them dearly.”

Mrs. Farley nodded in understanding. “The Duke’s parents did not put him first. They were selfish to the core, even if it pains me to admit it. Only the Dowager Duchess showed him true affection. His view of the world and even marriage has been skewed.”

“What happened during his childhood?” Octavia frowned and looked down, curious as to what could have made the Duke so cold.

“I am afraid that it would be far too impertinent of me to answer that question, Your Grace. All I can say is that while His Grace’s behavior may seem cold, we have all learned to live with the consequences of his parents’ actions.” The housekeeper looked at her sadly.

“Are you asking me to be more patient with him and try to understand because if you are…” Octavia felt utterly exasperated by the request.

His cold dismissal of her in the gardens had hurt her too deeply.

“It is not my place to ask anything of you, Your Grace. I was only offering the wisdom of an old woman who has served the Duke’s parents since he was born. The child that I helped raise in this house wasn’t always as cold as the man you see before you now.”

She sighed one last time with a heavy look in her eyes before leaving Octavia to her own devices. Octavia felt her heart sinking again as she looked out over the gardens.

She would need a lot of understanding to ever see reason in the Duke’s cold behavior.

Yet she couldn’t see how that would ever be possible when all he did was push her away.