8. Yu-jin

CHAPTER EIGHT

YU-JIN

I can't stand it.

I can't take standing here, watching Lucian in his wedding suit, looking perfect in every way, and getting married to someone else. Getting married to her. That should be me next to Lucian. It should be me he's getting married to. It should be me he promises his undying love to. Me whose eyes he looks into. Me whose lips he kisses. Not her.

I know it's a show. I know it's coerced by Lilith, but…it breaks my heart nonetheless. It makes my insides turn.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Lucian and our beloved queen Lilith once again," the creepy bat-human creature called Mammon says. My eyes sting as tears form. I blink them away, but they only run down my cheeks.

Shit. Get a grip, Yu-jin. Get a fucking grip .

Lilith's veil is draped back over her eyes, but it does little to hide her glee. It also shows her desperation. Her delusion.

I've got to give it to her. She's smart. She's thought of everything. I don't know if she's been planning this for a while or if she's naturally that talented in getting what she wants, but it's admirable.

I don't even know how she got through my store's protective wards to not only attack me but steal my book of eldritch.

I guess where there's will, there's a way, and her will is unstoppable. I don't even know what she wants. Is it Lucian? Then why would she offer to let him keep me? Is there something she's hiding? Is there something he is? Is this about more than reuniting with her ex-husband?

Why wait all this time? If what Lucian said is true, then he hasn't seen her in centuries. Why come for him now? Unless…

Is it possible she's just…jealous? Is it possible she's only here because she heard we were getting married and couldn't stand the thought of losing him?

I let out a breath as another tear runs down my cheek and look up at the orange slowly turning fire red. I need to get my shit together and stop this mess.

Why do Lucian and I keep drawing these people to us? Why do we keep attracting trouble? Is it…is it us? Is our love doomed?

I tug at my chains, but it's futile. I'm as trapped as I've ever been. As I always am. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's my fate, and by being with Lucian, I'm just dragging him down with me.

"Fuck!" I spit out, and I catch his eye, over there, a few feet ahead of me that may as well be miles, and I try to smile, try to show him that I'll be okay. Both of us will. I try to draw strength from his single look, but Lilith snatches that away from me by grabbing his face and turning him back to her.

Bitch!

No. It's not me. I'm not cursed. We're not cursed. Our love is pure. It's the purest thing I've ever found. I refuse to believe we're cursed. It's her. She and people like her are the problem. Those who want what they can't have. Those whose entire flex is stealing and consuming.

I breathe in and out. In and out. In…and out. My body is on fire, but I ignore it. I ignore the ache of my wounds and the itchy skin around them. I ignore the burning sensation on my face where my skin has been torn and try to find the peace inside me. Try to find the energy within myself. To attune myself to my surroundings like Lucian taught me.

I know trying to use my eldritch power is pointless. If it wasn't, all the wounds I'd been subjected to would have summoned a creature within me already. No. Eldritch isn't the answer. Lead is their only weakness, and as long as I'm bound by it, I'm going nowhere.

But there's another way. There's a way out. And I've been sitting here, tolerating the torture, the pain, until she returned with him. Until Lucian was right here with me.

There, that's it. A sizzle of magic so minuscule it's easy to miss. I open my eyes, concentrate on that register of magic energy strapped around my neck, and lick my dry lips.

"Protect me…protect me. Nothing…can hurt me."

The magic laced in the threads of my bow tie erupts, a cloud of dust billowing around me, surrounding me from limb to limb. Head to toe.

I feel its tickle on the arches of my feet and down my arms, in the goosebumps that form there. It builds, thrumming to the beat of my heart, then against it like a timer, and when it reaches a crescendo, my chains shatter into a million pieces.

I fall to the ground and the monster inside me, the monster that is me, roars like it's the first time I've spoken. Like it's the first time I've breathed.

I knew it would come in handy. I knew lacing a piece of clothing with one of my protection spells would be needed. After the last six weeks we've had, how could I not? I might not have known this would happen. I might not have known I'd be forced to attend the wedding from hell. But I knew something would happen. With us, Lucian and me, something always does. And I'd be damned if I let my lover, my boyfriend, my fiancé risk his life for me again.

I let out a breath, and my tail and wings come out. It feels liberating to stretch them. They're as much a part of me as all my other limbs, but when I look up, I find everyone…staring at me.

"Yu-jin," Lucian calls out.

I can't answer him. I don't have the time as the creatures, who were watching the wedding ceremony only moments ago, take to the skies. When they fall back down, they're coming straight for me.

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I can't take all of them on my own. I may be stronger, but I'm not invincible.

I grab my ring and pull it out of my finger. The book of eldritch says the bigger the blood sacrifice, the stronger the eldritch, and for this one…I need the big guns.

I ignore the wounds all over me as they don't count anymore. Fresh blood is what the eldritch crave. I cut my arm from the wrist to the inside of my elbow.

I hiss and look up.

Fuck. Fuck. fuck.

They're almost on me. The first creature reaches for me with sharp claws.

Hurry up!

Master!

A monster grows inside me, and as it fills every inch of me with its body, I let it take control.

The bat creature scratches me, but I swat it away like a fly and swell.

At first, I don't know what's happening, but when the ground gets farther away and my head reaches the top of the large rock I've been bound to, I realize…

I've grown bigger, stronger, more muscular. I'm three times the size I was. My wings and tail look tiny as the new monster takes over. A large lizard tail emerges as my mouth and jaw grow into a snout with sharp teeth.

Fucking hell. I'm fucking Godzilla.

Who's Godzilla?

I smirk, but I think it's only on the inside because the outside? Well, the outside is a big scary monster no one can stop.

The flying bat humanoids flock to me, but my monster is better. It makes me grab them, split them apart with a simple move, snap them in my mouth, then spit them out and stomp on them like they're fucking roaches.

I've never felt this strong. I've never been this possessed by an eldritch. It's exhilarating. A whole different ball game than what I've done before. I can't say I don't love it.

A creature flies above me and scratches the back of my head. I release an inhuman scream and use my lizard tail to squash the attacker.

I toward the groom and bride and roar, both at the remaining creatures as well as Lilith.

"Hurry up, Mammon. Don't let him stop us. Do it. Finish the ritual," she says, and I see Mammon take a knife and cut Lucian's palm.

"No!" I scream, but it doesn't come out as anything but another roar.

I take another step and another as the bat creatures start hooking themselves onto me, biting me, covering me. I reach for Lilith, for Mammon.

I howl and try to squash them, but they're out of reach. There are too many. There's no way…

One moment.

I take back control and fall to the side. I hear the distinct sound of cracked bones and roll around, breaking more of them with my massive weight.

When I come to a stop, I'm right in front of them. In front of Lucian. My handsome, wonderful demon, who's done so much for me. Given me so much and asked for nothing in return.

He looks at me in awe and disbelief. And…is that…is that pride in his eyes?

That's right, my soulmate. I'm not the weak little human you met six weeks ago. I've changed. And this time, I can save you .

I turn to Lilith and flick her away with the back of my hand. She flies across the desert, screaming, and I do the same with her monster officiant.

"Yu-jin!" Lucian says when it's just the two of us. "Yu-jin, are you okay?"

I want to ask him the same. I want to make sure he's not hurt. That he's safe, but I feel pain.

Pain inside me.

I'm sorry, Master. I…I can't take any more. I'm wounded.

" It's okay, honey. It's okay ."

I hope…I didn't let you down.

I shake my head.

" Of course you didn't. You saved me. Both of us ."

Until next time, Master.

And with that, I shrink back to my size and become me again.

"Yu-jin." Lucian reaches for me, but his chains are too short, so I close the distance between us and bring my lips to his.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

He smirks and glances from my eyes to my lips and back.

"I'm more than okay. Are you?"

I nod and caress his face, his hair, his neck. I can't get enough of him. My heart is still racing, and I don't know if it's the adrenaline or how close I came to losing him, but I can't stop kissing him. I can't stop drinking him in.

"You did this. You did all this," Lucian tells me every time we separate to take a breath, and I look behind me at the warpath I've left behind.

"I…I know," I say when a being made of lava and fire with wings made of the same stuff appears in the sky.

It watches us, and the hairs on the back of my neck rise.

"Who-who is that?" I ask Lucian.

Lucian looks at me and swallows. His Adam's apple bobs and sweat beads on his forehead.

"That…that's Lilith's true form."