Sir Dennis Fairplace, knighted war hero of Crimea, has had enough of England and family. Overwhelmed by Christmas Day celebrations, he flees his family’s home to board a train northward, but a run-in with brawlers interrupts his plans.

Blanche Badnarrow, cloistered ward of her uncle, the cruel Bishop Badnarrow, secretly plans to elope with her lover to Scotland. But at the last minute, he abandons her at the station. That leaves the bishop determined to make someone—anyone—wed his “ruined” niece.

Enter Dennis, who stumbles into the bishop’s private rail car while trying to avoid a brawl, and finds himself a captive bridegroom.

Blanche and Dennis must escape their prison before her uncle grows tired of their reluctance to wed and throws Dennis from the moving train. As they plot their getaway, the couple begin to wonder—would marriage to one another be so bad after all?