Chapter 52

* Janie *

“Where’s Ryder? I want Ryder.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re not allowed any visitors at this time.”

“Well, has he called? Has anyone?”

“I’ll have to go check in a minute.” I don’t even remember how I got here or what happened after I collapsed on the floor.

My hands were tied to the hospital bed and bandaged, probably to keep me from tearing at the flesh on my face, which was only now starting to settle down from that awful itching and burning that was driving me insane.

I’d already answered all the questions the doctors had asked, like where I’d been in the last few days or if I’d tried anything new and such, all to which I’d answered no, and their seeming ignorance as to what was happening to me was only adding to my fear. I tried to tell them about the flowers, I even tried to get them to read the message on my phone, but it was gone. Now they probably think that I had indeed lost my mind.

I’d heard them whispering about closing off our home as if it were contaminated or something, and now there was no sign of Ryder anywhere, and I couldn’t get ahold of my parents. Even Mary and Scott seem to have gone MIA in the last couple of hours.

I had a very bad feeling in my gut, but that’s nothing new. Anytime I was away from him for too long, the fear takes over, and I was reminded once again of my mother’s warning about always sticking close to him so that the love spell couldn’t be broken. I wished she’d told me when we first started that it was possible for it to wear off with time.

I stupidly thought that it would last forever, that once we were bound together, it would be everlasting. But obviously, something had gone wrong, and it started when he first disappeared from his last tour. I knew then when all the rumors started that he was the man in the crowd of Elena’s fans, that things were starting to go south, and those social media posts hadn’t helped. The only thing I had to hold onto was the fact that he’d come back to me, and he hadn’t been anywhere near her since his return to L.A.

I’m not too worried, though, because it had worked once without him even having to be there, and I’m sure it will work again. But how am I going to face him looking like this? When I get my hands on that little bitch, and yes, the voice I’d heard on the phone was that of a little girl, I’m going to do more harm to her than she could imagine.

I have no idea who or where she is, but I’m sure Mom and the aunts could cook up something that would work, but first, I need to get out of here. They said I had to stay here for a while, but I’ll figure something out, I always do, and there’s no way I could stay away from Ryder that long.

Even though I hadn’t seen much of him since his return, just knowing he was in the house was enough. It wasn’t much different than in the past, other than the fact that he was sober now. But even with the drugs and the spells, he’d kept a certain kind of distance between us that I was never able to close.

The drugs they gave me were working pretty fast, and I was losing the fight to stay awake, but every time I closed my eyes, I envisioned the most horrific things, things that scared me to the core. They’re nothing more than hallucinations, I’m sure, but at the moment, they seem very real, and I come awake with my heart pounding with fear.

My throat felt raw, so I know I must’ve been screaming for hours, but I have no recollection of it. I felt a mix of fear and anger that this had to happen now. Not only is Ryder clean, but he’s been acting very strange lately, so now is not the right time for us to be apart for any length of time, even though I haven’t been allowed to see much of him since he’s always busy and those two mutts always acted like I was a stranger and not his wife.

I have to get out of here. I have to know where he is. Where’s my phone? Oh no, how could I be so careless? I started to panic when it wasn’t on the bedside table and nowhere else in sight. Calm down; no one knows your password, everything is safe. That may be, but I still felt more than a little unsettled not knowing where it was. If it should get into the wrong hands, there will be a lot of trouble.

The person that was here just a few minutes ago was gone, and I hadn’t even noticed her leaving. What kind of hospital leaves sick people alone? I hate this feeling of being alone because it’s only then that I realize how empty I truly am. Even my thoughts are empty and vapid, something I hate to admit even to myself.

“Hello, is anyone out there?”

I heard movement at the door and turned my head hopefully in that direction, but it was just another nurse coming to check on me. “How are you feeling, Miss. Andrews?”

“My name is Sumner. Do you live under a rock? Don’t you know who I am?”

“Oh, sorry, the chart said Andrews. My mistake.”

“What’re you doing?” I tried turning my face away from the phone she held up, but it was too late. The light from the flash went off a couple of times more while I yelled for her to stop. “It’s procedure, nothing to worry about. No one other than the hospital staff will see these.”

“How can I trust that? If any of those get out to the public, I’ll sue this place out of existence.” I can’t let Ryder see me like this. Maybe it’s not as bad as I remember. I’ve been here for hours, so obviously, they must’ve done something with all of that gook they pasted on me. “Is there any change? Did any of what they did make those things go away?”

“Have a look. It’s not as bad as you think.” She brought the camera over, and I looked on as she brought up the first picture. I didn’t recognize the thing that looked back at me. It was grotesque, like something from a sci-fi movie.

“That’s not me. What is that?” I pushed her hand away roughly as bile rose in my throat.

Crying hurt like hell, but how could I avoid it? I couldn’t see any way that my face could come back from that. I was a red, swollen mess with pustules all over my face, from my forehead to my chin. My nose was bulbous and out of shape, and my head was twice its normal size.

And my hair. I tried lifting my arm to feel for it, forgetting that they were tied. “What happened to my hair?”

“Oh, the toxin took most of it, and we had to shave the rest before it spread.”

“Toxin, what kind of toxin? Will it grow back?” I started to hyperventilate.

“We’re not sure yet what kind of poison you were exposed to; as to your hair growing back, we’ll have to see. It pretty much damaged your scalp.”

My mouth was left open in horror at her words. This was a bad dream; it couldn’t be happening. Things like this don’t happen to me. “Call my mom. I need to talk to my mother.”

“We’ve tried contacting your next of kin, but no one is answering. We’ll keep trying, of course, but it might take a while.”

“Why? Why can’t you call them now?”

“Something seems to be wrong with the phones; we’re having them looked at as we speak.”

“Where’s my phone? Bring it to me.”

“No, I’m sorry. Everything that was brought in with you has been quarantined.”

“Why? What the hell do I have?”

“I just told you. We don’t know what you caught, but it seems to get worse with time, not better.” It was only then I realized why she and the others were wearing those weird-looking suits. In my befuddled mind, I thought it was remnants of the pandemic, but I’m afraid it was all because of me.

“Even if we get ahold of anyone, they won’t be able to visit. Hasn’t anyone told you? No one is allowed in here because we don’t know what you have.”

“That’s for common people. People like me don’t have to play by those rules. I’m sure this room is costing me thousands.”

“So you don’t care if you infect innocent people?”

“No, no, I don’t. I want my husband.” Since I couldn’t pound my hands into the mattress, I stomped my heels into it and pulled at my restrained hands.

“You should calm down before you hurt yourself. The breakouts have spread to your hands. That’s why they’ve been bandaged. They might break open if you keep doing that.” I could be mistaken, but her voice sounded way too cheerful for a hospital room.

I decided to ignore her as she moved around the room because talking to her was only making me feel worse. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t have the first clue what to do now. My face was destroyed, and my hair was gone. For sure, Ryder is going to leave me now. I need to talk to Mom and tell her to get started on a new spell before it’s too late. Is that bitch still back in L.A.? That thought worried me more than my own situation.

The nurse left while I was lost in thought, and I never felt so alone. It hurt to cry, the tears burning a track down my ruined cheeks. I felt such misery my body almost buckled with it. Why was everything going wrong? Where was the happiness I was promised? Where was Ryder?

***

* Ryder *

I hadn’t felt this excited about anything in a very long time, but as soon as I saw those gates, my heart came alive. I could imagine coming home to her here every day, and the thought filled me with so much joy it was hard to contain.

And when I saw her standing on the balcony looking out over the gardens, with the light of the setting sun framing her, the filth of the day seemed to drift away. “Let the car come to a stop, kid.” Lyon stopped me from jumping out of the moving car, and the few seconds it took for the car to come to a stop was too much.

He’d followed us here because, as he said, he needed to see for himself that this place was secure. I’ve noticed that these guys are almost obsessive when it comes to security, but I think it was more that now that I knew some of what they were working on, he wasn’t about to let me out of his sight. Then again, if that was the case, I have no doubt that he would’ve said so. He’s not shy about saying much of anything.

She didn’t seem to notice my approach until I was almost on her. Then she turned to look at me, and all this love rose up inside me and filled me with a feeling of sheer happiness. The smile that broke out across my face probably made me look like an idiot, but I didn’t care.

“Elena, I’m home.” I almost fell over my own feet when she came running to me with her arms open and wrapped them around me. It took me a good minute to realize that it was real and not some joke she was playing on me. After the day I’d had, her welcome almost brought me to tears.

I wrapped my arms around her and drew her in, more in love with her at that moment than I think I have ever been. I was afraid, afraid that I hadn’t loved her enough, afraid that I didn’t deserve even this. Listening between the lines to these guys all day made me see myself in a light that was not too admirable.

I always thought I loved her like that, that deep, unwavering love that nothing and no one could touch. But obviously, I’d missed a few steps somewhere because had I done so, we wouldn’t be here in this messed up situation.

Even though we’d spent most of our time dealing with the trafficking thing and my upcoming part in exposing my manager and spiritual advisor along with the others, each moment I had to myself was spent going over all the ways I had wronged her and it was humbling to realize that even if I had three lives, I couldn’t make this up to her.

She’s my soul mate, something I always knew and believed, and I’m hers, but in this lifetime, I’d harmed her grievously. We used to joke that we’d known each other before in another place and time, maybe even more than once. And in each of those lifetimes, we’d always found each other.

It’s one of those things we used to tease each other about, but I knew she believed it just as I did. And knowing that makes this even worst. Now she clung to me as if she’d missed me when I should be the one down on my knees begging for forgiveness.

“I’m sorry for everything that I put you through.” The words just came on their own as if from my soul.

“Ryder….”

“No, let me say this. I’m not only talking about my latest screw-up but all of it. You were right, I was a piece of shit even before the whole scam marriage thing, and it’s because I was such a fuck up that these people were able to use me to hurt you. I’ll never forgive them for that, so how can I forgive myself?”

“You don’t know.” Her voice was sad when she asked.

“Don’t know what?” She pulled back and looked up at me, and I saw the sadness in her eyes for the first time. “What is it? Did something happen while I was gone? Who hurt you?”

“No, it’s nothing like that; everyone here is fine; they’ve been more than welcoming and kind.”

“So, why do you have that look in your eyes?”

“Come with me; we need to talk.” Dreaded words that no man wants to hear, but the way she held my hand and walked me inside put me at ease. It shouldn’t have.

I grew alarmed as soon as she sat me down on one of the chairs in the sitting room off the master suite and sat in front of me on another, and took both my hands in hers. Then she told me the wildest shit I’ve ever heard. “Do you hear what you’re saying?” Why was this weirder than everything else I’d heard today? Why was this more unbelievable than the fact that everyone I know had had a hand in destroying my life?

“I know it sounds weird. I didn’t want to believe it either. But ever since I had that talk with Char, I’ve done nothing but think. I went over everything, including the interviews you did when you first got married, and I saw it.”

“What interviews? What’re you talking about?”

“There’s a lot of them. I thought at first that you were high, but when I looked into your eyes, you weren’t there. I’ve seen you high before, that wasn’t it. It was like looking into the eyes of someone else. It scared me seeing it now, and it was five years ago. I’m so sorry, Ryder. I should’ve been there. I didn’t know what they had done to you. I was so stupid.”

“No-no-no, none of this is on you. This is on them and me but never you. You have no blame here. Do you understand me?” She nodded her head, but that sadness was still there in her eyes, tearing a new hole in my gut.

“Come ’ere.” I pulled her onto my lap and held her close, just breathing her in and being extremely thankful that I could be here with her like this again. For as long as I live, I’ll never want or need anything else again, just as long as I can have my love in my arms like this.

“There’s one other thing.”

“There’s more? What more could those monsters have done?”

“Your mom agreed to the wedding.”

“What? What are you saying?” I held her away from me to look into her face.

“I think they convinced her somehow that it was what was best for you and your career.”

“My mom chose someone over you! My mother! That doesn’t make any sense. My mother loves you like her own.”

“I know, I know, so you can just imagine what they told her to get her to agree.”

“But my mother doesn’t even like Janie.”

“Yes, maybe because she realized after the fact that something was not right.”

“She didn’t say anything the last time we spoke; she didn’t let on.”

“How could she? She’s a mom. It must’ve been hard for her to realize what she’d done, but you know she loves you, and she would only have done it if they’d convinced her that it was the right thing to do.”

I couldn’t even remember what was going on in my life back then. Just like now, I had a PR team who handled almost everything in my life. I knew now that they were in cahoots with Mary and the others, but there was so much I didn’t know about.

Looks like I’m gonna have to do a deep dive into my past after all.