CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

TORI

THE NEW JERSEY TRIP PART TWO

W here did that question come from?

“Yeah, she has her own bodyguard when she’s in New Jersey.”

What was he talking about? Simone had never been to New Jersey until now. I just figured she was staying at Ezra’s while she was in town.

The sound of a buzzing phone caught his attention, and he stole a glance at the screen. “Simone’s here,” he announced, looking at me briefly through the rearview mirror.

“There are many things about my life and Simone’s that you don’t know. She’s been keeping secrets for me for years. When she finally tells you everything, please don’t hold it against her. It’s all on me.”

Knuckles tapped on the driver’s side window, signaling Simone’s arrival. Ezra got out of the car and embraced her tightly. “I’ve missed you so much...” He whispered something into her ear.

I stepped out of the right rear passenger door.

“Tori, wait here,” Ezra ordered. “I have to sweep the house.”

“Okay,” I replied.

He kissed Simone’s lips one more time before walking away.

“Tori, how are you feeling?” she asked as she rounded the back of the SUV.

“Tired. I let the demons run wild on my back before I took a sedative on the jet. I feel better now.”

What Ezra said was heavy on my mind.

“I had no idea this wasn’t your first time in New Jersey.” I tilted my head to the side.

“What are you talking about? Who told you I’d been to New Jersey?”

“It seems like Ezra is starting to let all your secrets slip out,” I pointed out, trying to keep my tone light. “He even mentioned that you have your own bodyguard when you come here.”

She brushed her hand across her collarbone, giving me a knowing look. “Is that so?”

I couldn’t believe it. My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I saw the massive diamond wedding ring set on her finger. “Wait a minute, why didn’t you tell us you got married this weekend too?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “Same reason you didn’t tell us. It was a busy weekend.”

There was something off about Simone’s behavior. I had known her since we were kids and could always tell when she was hiding something. Like when she started dying her hair different colors, claiming it was just a phase. But it had been five years now, and she was still doing it. Suddenly it clicked - she must’ve done it because of Ezra.

“You’re deflecting, Simone.”

She snorted. “Listen, I want to tell you and the girls what’s going on. I’m trying to keep people safe. And if I start spilling my guts too soon, innocent people could die.”

“We’re your best friends. We’ve always got your back.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “I know.” The tears streamed down her cheeks. “You have no idea how hard it is to sit amongst your best friends and not tell them everything.”

Actually, I did.

“I can’t judge you. I hid what was going on with Man-Man from y’all.” I pulled my best friend into my arms.

“I love you. So do Bianca and Asia.”

Her body shook in my arms.

My heart hurt for my best friend. “I love you so much, Simone. We’ll always be best friends, no matter what.” I squeezed her tighter.

Her body relaxed like some of the stress had rolled off her. “I love you too. So, so much.”

“Beautiful, are you all right?” Ezra’s concerned voice filled the garage.

Simone stepped back, wiping at her tear-stained face. Ezra stalked toward her as he removed a handkerchief from his pocket. He took his time cleaning her face.

“You didn’t answer my question?”

“I’m ok. Tori wanted to know why we hadn’t mentioned we’d gotten married over the weekend.”

His jaw ticked like he was angry. Why would he be upset about that?

He placed the dry side of the handkerchief over her nose. “Blow.”

She did as she was told. Once she was done blowing her nose, he removed the handkerchief.

“I told her I’d tell her as soon as I could about what’s been going on for years.”

For years. I tried to wrap my mind around her statement. Simone had been hiding things from me and the girls for years.

Be her friend, listen, and be understanding.

As I sauntered toward the door, I wondered about the expensive diamond ring Simone was wearing. Who was Ezra? I mean, he probably made good money working for a mafia boss. But I couldn’t see him getting paid millions of dollars. My wedding ring had to cost half a mill. Which wasn’t necessary. However, Ritchie and Catch came from mafia royalty so they could afford it.

It was time for Ezra to come clean.

I halted at the door and turned. “Ezra, the wedding ring you bought for Simone looks expensive. I apologize for asking so many questions, but you work for me, and I feel I should know who’s guarding me. Did you receive a windfall or something?”

Simone curled into Ezra’s side.

“I come from a well-off family. My mom is a doctor, and my dad owns a successful law firm. My family has always been wealthy.”

I shook my head. “And now you work for the mafia?” I scrunched up my nose. “That’s interesting.” I blew out a breath.

To be honest, I was a little annoyed he was running around playing bodyguard and didn’t have to. He didn’t know what it was like to go hungry. The girls and I did.

“All right, have a good night,” I said.

“Nope, I’m not leaving you just yet. I know you’re upset because your best friend has kept secrets.” He gripped Simone’s neck. “She was loyal to her husband. Again, be upset with me. Not her. In the meantime, get settled. I’ll bring your luggage to your bedroom. Simone and I will stay out of your way. When Ritchie arrives, we’ll leave.”

“Yup.” I walked into the house.

It sounded like he’d never been out of her life. It was confusing.

My jaw dropped in awe as I took in the sprawling off-white kitchen fit for a chef. The center island boasted a sleek gray and white granite countertop, with an industrial eight burner stove. My fingers moved over the massive stainless steel double door sub-zero refrigerator on my right. There was plenty of cabinet space for all my pots and pans, and a row of chairs around the counter, perfect for entertaining friends. As I looked up, I noticed the off-white ceiling beams and oversized white chandeliers. I slipped off my shoes and relished the coolness of the marble floor beneath my feet.

Despite everything we had been through, Ritchie had managed to find us this amazing home. It was hard to believe that he had only known me for a short time, yet he spoiled me as if we had been together for years.

With everything we’d been through, he’d managed to take the time to locate homes for us to live in. He hadn’t even known me that long. Yet he spoiled me like we’d dated for years. I heard Simone giggling behind me as the door clicked closed.

“Come on, Mrs. Costa. I’ll show you to the guest bedroom,” Ezra stated.

I glanced into a few of the cabinets, sucking up the new wood smell.

This new home reminded me so much of our house in Chicago; it felt surreal that Ritchie and I now owned homes together. But to be honest, I would have been happy just sharing a bed with him at the warehouse.

Did this home make me feel relaxed? Absolutely. It was like Ritchie had intentionally bought a home that mirrored our Chicago one. Clever. I laughed inside. My husband was very clever.

After admiring the grand crystal chandelier in the atrium, I casually ascended the elegant staircase. I wondered which bedroom would be ours, or if it even mattered. Skipping the first bedroom on the left, I ventured down the hallway to my right. Each room was exquisite, but most were missing furniture. I was left with the daunting task of furnishing this massive house. I’d make time to get it done. I halted in front of a closed door and twisted the knob back and forth. It didn’t budge. Ezra and Simone were probably inside. I turned and headed back down the hallway. With a deep breath, I reached for the gold doorknobs and pushed open the double doors, stumbling back in awe.

The ceiling above the king-sized bed was covered in gold squares that sparkled, reminding me of a grandiose door to a palace. A chandelier suspended over the bed added a touch of Hollywood glamour to the stunning room. It was definitely a place where I could easily spend days on end. The opulent gold walls continued into the walk-in closet and oversized bathroom, where six people could comfortably shower together. Despite changing clothes, I still smelled like smoke from earlier, so I wasted no time turning on the shower and discarding my clothes. Retrieving a scrunchie from my purse, I pulled my blonde hair into a tight bun atop my head. Before entering the glass shower, I snatched a washcloth off the rack.

Did he choose this house for its luxurious black and gold bedroom, or perhaps for the state-of-the-art chef’s kitchen? It didn’t matter; I already loved this house.

The steaming hot water pelted my aching muscles, providing momentary relief from the pain. I grabbed the shower gel off the shelf and poured a generous amount onto the washcloth. It felt good scrubbing my skin clean.

Don’t think about it, Tori. Focus on this moment.

My eyelids lowered as I enjoyed the hot water rinsing away the smell of smoke.

The deafening sound of shattered glass and an exploding SUV echoed in my mind, pulling me down into a dark place. Instinctively, I covered my head with my hands and crouched on the floor.

It’s not real. I repeated over and over in my head, trying to calm myself down as panic set in.

My chest heaved as I struggled to catch my breath; it felt like someone was sitting on my chest, making it hard to breathe.

“Breathe, Tori. You can get through this,” I whispered to myself, trying to stay calm.

My nails dug into the black tiles of the shower wall as I fought against the overwhelming anxiety. “Fuck,” I cursed through clenched teeth, feeling helpless and alone.

I wished Ritchie was here.

Tori, you can’t use him as a crutch .

My fists tightened as I pounded against the wall. “You have to handle this,” I inhaled sharply.

“That fucking bitch. She...has...to...go,” I exhaled, trying to catch my breath.

You’re strong, Tori. You may deal with your inner demons differently than others, but you are capable of managing them.

To think my husband wanted to have kids with me. What was he thinking? I couldn’t be a mother. I was too fucked up.

In one breath, I built myself up and in the next I tore myself down. I had to stop doing that.

I am strong.

Pull it together, Tori.

I slowly made my way towards the bench and stretched out on it, allowing my eyelids to shut.

I was jolted awake by a familiar voice calling out my name. “Tori, Tori,” she whispered urgently. “It’s Simone. Can you hear me?”

I could feel something soft and fluffy covering my body.

“Tori, wake up. It’s Simone and Ezra,” she said, her tone filled with concern.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and took in the scene around me. The water had been turned off. My best friend hovered close by while my bodyguard stood just inside the open glass door of the shower.

“What happened?” I asked.

“You probably had an anxiety attack,” Simone said.

“And you’re also suffering from untreated PTSD,” Ezra added.

“Ezra, it’s a good thing Simone was here to cover me up with a towel. I don’t think she’d appreciate you seeing me naked,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.

“On missions, I’ve rescued plenty of unclothed individuals. Don’t worry, I’m a professional,” he replied with a smirk before kissing Simone on the temple.

They were such an adorable couple.

“Tori, Ritchie told me everything. I know that sometimes I’ll have to step in and get you covered up and put you to bed,” Ezra stated matter-of-factly.

I raised an eyebrow as I sat up, wrapping the towel securely around my body. “Hopefully, this won’t happen again.”

He shrugged. “I’ll do a perimeter check.” And with that, Ezra left the bathroom.

“Tori, you know we take care of each other. Always have.”

I smiled at Simone. “We do. Oh, that reminds me. Come over for dinner tomorrow at six. It will just be us girls. It’ll be like the last time we were at the playhouse. Just minus Tyra.”

We chuckled.

“I’ll be here. See you tomorrow.” Simone vacated the bathroom.

Tucking the towel over my breasts, I made my way into the bedroom. My suitcase was resting on the bench at the end of the bed, and I quickly unpacked all the items I needed for my nightly routine. The first thing I reached for was Ritchie’s oversized t-shirt, which I pulled over my head and inhaled deeply, savoring his delicious scent. Whenever I wore his clothes, I felt closer to him; it had only been one day apart, but my heart ached as if it had been much longer. Climbing into bed, I turned off the lamp and thought about how much Ritchie wanted me to come home. And here I was. But when would I actually get to see my husband?