Chapter 7

7

ELODIE

I pull the Beast into a spot in front of Dunning's Market and cut off the engine. Across the street is Dr. Collier—Ethan's—office and when I see it, a flutter runs through my heart and other, more intimate parts of my anatomy. That is quickly replaced by the mortification about running off at the mouth the way I did. I cover my face with my hand and groan. Why did I feel the need to tell him I'm a virgin? What was I thinking?

What in the hell is wrong with me?

It's been a few days since Ethan and I shared that moment in the foyer at home, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I swear to God, my lips are still tingling. And I don't even know how many pairs of panties I've burned through simply because a random memory of that kiss will shoot through my mind, and boom, just like that, I'm soaked all over again. No matter how many times I've gotten myself off thinking about it, recalling his big hands on my body, the taste of his tongue on mine, or that incredibly long, rigid cock pressed against my belly, it's never enough to sate the lust filling my veins.

For a brief moment there, I really thought about giving my virginity to Ethan. He's intelligent, kind, and at least on the surface, he seems like the sort of man I've always wanted to build a life with. But he's also twice my age. Ever since we kissed, I've been trying to convince myself that this is nothing but some silly, schoolgirl crush. The only problem is that I'm not a schoolgirl anymore, and if this is a crush, it's more intense than anything I've felt before.

But this can't happen. I can't give in to all the fantasies scrolling through my mind. I'm not going to be in Emerson forever and will be going back to California at some point. The last thing I want to do is get involved with a man, sleep with him, and then just leave. That's not who I am. I'm not a prude and I'm not saving myself for marriage, but I've also never been comfortable with the idea of just sleeping around. I know my worth and want to give myself to somebody who does too. Screwing just to screw hasn't ever sounded fun to me.

It's why I need to put a pin on this before these feelings and desires Ethan has awakened in me get to be too much and lead me to do something stupid. Before I do something I might regret. As attractive as Ethan is and as much as my body cries out for him, I can't give in to those base, carnal feelings. I just can't. That's not who I am. It's going to be difficult because I find myself wanting to do things with Ethan I've never done with anybody before, so I need to be strong.

"Let's do this," I tell myself out loud.

I get out of the Beast, walk across the street to the small office building, and pull the door open. An electronic bell chimes as I step into the empty waiting room. A tall, attractive woman comes out of the back with a purse slung over her shoulder, a welcoming expression on her face.

"Sorry, hun, we're closed for the day," she says.

"Oh. Oh, no. I'm not here for an appointment. I … uh … I just hoped to have a minute with Dr. Collier. I need to speak with him."

"Well, if you come in tomorrow?—"

"It's okay, Melinda," Ethan says. "This is Maryanne Carter's granddaughter, Elodie."

"Oh, right. Of course," the woman says. "Well, it's lovely to meet you, Elodie."

"Yeah, you too."

"Goodnight, Dr. Collier," Melinda says.

"Goodnight, Melinda."

The woman gives me a nod and walks out of the office. Ethan is standing in the doorway that separates the lobby from the back of the office, his hands tucked into the pockets of his white lab coat. The man is simply breathtaking, and just being near him sends a jolt of electricity shooting straight through my heart. I silently remind myself of why I'm here and that I need to stand strong. To not let my desires sandbag me.

"Come on back," Ethan says. "I'm just finishing up some paperwork."

He holds the door open and leads me down the hall to his office, which looks about like I imagined it would. Like the man himself, it's incredibly clean and well-organized. The shelves are all lined with books and personal knick-knacks, his diplomas hang neatly on the wall—everything has a place and everything's in its place, and there isn't a speck of dust to be seen. It's so clean and orderly, it's almost obsessive.

As I wander around the office looking at his things, Ethan drops into the chair behind his desk. It squeaks as he leans back and turns his eyes to me. As his warm brown eyes caress my body, an image of his mouth on mine, his hard cock pressed to my belly, flashes through my memory and a small shudder passes through me. I do my best to stuff it down. To ignore it. And to ignore the dampness spreading between my thighs.

"So, you said you had something you wanted to talk to me about?" he asks. "Is your grandmother okay?"

"Oh, yeah. She's great," I reply and clear my throat. "This isn't about her."

"Then what's going on?"

"It's about what happened between us the other day. The … the kiss."

The corners of his mouth lift, and his eyes gleam with a sultry light that makes that slight tremble in my lady parts more pronounced, which is followed by a flood in my panties. Dammit.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about it," he growls.

I grit my teeth and close my eyes, trying to focus on the reason I'm standing here. Drawing in a deep breath, I silently count to five then let it out again.

"I haven't either. And that's the problem," I say.

"It's a problem?"

"It is. We can't. it can't happen again, Ethan," I say. "I'm not going to be in Emerson forever. I'm just here to get Mam back on her feet and then I'll be heading back to LA. I just don't think it's a good idea."

He purses his lips and looks down at his desk. He's obviously disappointed. I can relate. Standing here in front of him, all I want is for him to kiss me again. But he and I don't have a future together, and I just don't think it's a good idea. Ethan is silent for a moment before he raises his gaze to me, his chocolate brown eyes still smoldering.

"I understand," he says. "And if that's what you want, I respect that, Elodie. I'm sorry if I crossed a line?—"

I shake my head. "You didn't. At least, you didn't cross any lines I didn't want to cross myself. And it's not like I didn't enjoy it. I just … I'm not sure it's a good idea since there will come a time when I'm going to leave."

"I understand. And it's okay. I'd never want to push you to do something you're not comfortable or one hundred percent on board with doing," he says.

Frankly, I expected him to push back a bit. I had been anticipating some resistance or for Ethan to try to talk me out of my decision in some way. That he understands and is being so respectful and compassionate about my choice is a surprise. More than that, in another unexpected twist, it manages to turn me on even more than I already am. It shines a bit of light on the difference between how a real man treats a woman and an immature boy like Ben does.

Ethan is respectful of my choices and doesn't seem to need to badger or berate me. He doesn't try to bend me to his will. Ethan is treating me the way I've always wanted to be treated. The way I deserve to be treated. The way I've demanded but have never been treated by any of the men I've ever been with. Not that there have been many, but the few I've been with have never treated me with half as much respect and dignity that Ethan, a man I've known for like five minutes, is treating me. And I don't know what to do with that.

Ethan cocks his head and looks at me, a curious expression on his face. "Are you okay?"

I nod, although I'm not entirely sure that I am. What I am right now is confused. When I walked in here, it was with a clear goal in mind—to keep things from going any further with Ethan. I made the decision that we couldn't ever kiss again, mainly to protect myself. But standing here and seeing the sort of man he truly is, my resolve begins to waver. And it's not just the lust within me speaking. Yes, my panties are dripping wet, but there's more to it than just the physical sensations he inspires in me. It's deeper. It's emotional, and it's complicated. And this I'm really not sure what to do with.

"What's wrong, Elodie?"

"Nothing. It's just … it's nothing."

He pauses, seemingly unwilling to push me to speak if I don't want to share. But he gives me a small, encouraging nod, letting me know that I can talk to him without actually saying it. Our eyes meet and the physical sensations drown out the emotional noise, and my brain screams at me to turn around and walk out of there. It's telling me I've said what I came to say and now it's time to go. My body, though, refuses to listen to my brain, and I'm paralyzed. Rooted to my spot. No matter how much I want to move, I just can't.

"Was there something else?" he asks.

"No, it's just … I …"

My body finally moves, and it's like I'm floating above, watching myself as I walk over to Ethan and grab his face with both hands then kiss him with all the heat and passion I can muster. My tongue lashes his, and at first, he seems taken aback, and I fear I've overstepped. But then his large hands grip my waist and pull me closer to him. He rolls his tongue around mine, his kiss so intense, he nearly steals my breath. Ethan's hands slide down my thighs and tug my sundress up to my waist just before he pulls me down onto his lap.

The moment my pulsing core brushes against this thick, rigid cock, a moan bursts from my mouth. Even through his slacks and my panties, I'm worried he can tell just how wet I am. If he does, he doesn't say a word. Instead, he keeps kissing me as I grind against him. My body is filled with lightning and the electric sensation of rubbing my button against his dick is unlike anything I ever imagined. It's light years different and better than when my own fingers dance across my clit.

A small squeal bursts from my lips when Ethan picks me up like I weigh nothing and sets me down on his desk. His warm brown eyes fixed on mine, the corner of his mouth curls upward as he sits back down in his chair and rolls forward. I shudder as his fingertips trail up my thighs, pushing my skirt up to my waist again. Lust burns in his eyes as he looks at me while he slips his fingers into the band of my panties.

I raise my hips, letting him pull them down, and draw in a sharp breath when he takes them off. I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe I'm letting this happen. More than anything, I can't believe I want this to happen more than I've wanted anything in my entire life. As he tucks my panties into the pocket of his coat, he looks up at me, his eyes filled with hunger.

"Are you okay with this?" he asks.

I open my mouth to respond, but my throat is so dry. I can't seem to form a single word, so I just lick my lips and nod.

"You're sure?" he asks again.

"Yes," I say, my voice trembling as hard as my body.

The slow curl to his lips and the smolder in his eyes fill me with such heat, I almost come right there. When he leans forward and his lips brush my clit, I cry out and start to shake. His tongue parts my folds and plunges into my depths, sending me to a level of ecstasy I didn't know existed. I'm shaking so hard, I'm afraid I'm going to fall off the desk, but Ethan holds me in place, licking and sucking on me, his fingers and tongue dancing along my pussy.

Reaching down, I grip his hair, grinding myself against his face, desperate to have his tongue and fingers deeper inside of me. Ethan licks and sucks, his low groans rumbling along my opening, making me cry out. I'm hurtling toward the brink, and Ethan doubles his efforts to get me there. His fingers and tongue work in perfect harmony as he teases me, strumming my button as he laps my juices. Ethan parts my thighs wider and buries his face, his tongue impossibly deep inside of me. And when I see his warm, chocolate brown eyes looking back up at me, I bite my bottom lip, my trembling turning into full body quakes.

Then all at once, I'm weightless. My stomach rises into my throat, and it's like I'm falling from a great height. Throwing my head back, I grip Ethan's hair even harder as I come. His fingers press into my waist as he holds onto me, burying his face even deeper between my legs, continuing to lap as I explode all over his face. My orgasm is more powerful than any I've ever given myself. My entire body is filled with fire and I'm shaking so hard, it's almost like I'm having some sort of seizure.

The waves of ecstasy washing through me slowly begin to ebb, and I loosen my grip on Ethan's hair. He gets to his feet and his face glistens with my juices, making that fire inside of me burn out of control. He licks his lips and his fingers, moaning as if he's savoring my taste. As I sit back on the desk and spread my legs wider, desperate to have him inside of me, I try to push away the feelings of guilt and disbelief that cling to me like cobwebs. I can't believe that I'm doing this, especially after the pep talk I gave myself before I came in.

There is just something about Ethan Collier that has decimated my dam of resolve. Leaving for LA soon or not, I had to have him. I had to experience what it was like to have sex with somebody so good and kind. Somebody who actually seems to respect me. Somebody who seems to value me as much as I demand to be valued. After all, it might be the only chance I get to be with somebody like that.

As he starts to pull his lab coat off, his phone rings. He sighs and frustration crosses his face. It only deepens when he looks at his phone and mutters to himself darkly. He raises his eyes to me.

"I'm sorry. I have to go check on a patient," he says.

"A doctor's work is never done."

He scoffs. "You have no idea how true that is."

"Rain check?"

"To be continued," he corrects.

"Looking forward to it," I say and am surprised to find I really mean it.