Chapter 9

9

BLAIR

I t's been a week since the confrontation at the coffee shop, and this is the morning I'm supposed to return to work. Brian is in the shower, waiting for me to join him, when I get the message.

The text from Tanner's burner phone flickers to life on my phone screen, illuminating the dark room with a sinister glow. My heart lurches as I see the picture he sent—a close-up of his battered face.

Hope you're happy. My dad is so fixated on fucking you that he did this to me. Have a nice life, Blair.

How did it come to this? Brian, the man I've fallen head over heels for, has struck his own flesh and blood. It's a betrayal that slices through me like a dagger, shredding everything that I thought I knew about him.

The shower is still running. He's occupied. If I want to get out of here, this might be my only chance.

With trembling hands, I gather my things, tears stinging my eyes. How could I have been so blind? How could I have fallen for a man capable of such violence? The love I thought was pure and unbreakable now feels tainted, poisoned by the reality of Brian's actions. I can't stay here, not for a moment longer. I need to get away, far away from the man I thought I knew. I grab my purse, fingers fumbling for my phone to call a cab.

It's still early, so when I get outside, the cab is already waiting for me on the curb, exhaust curling into the air. I give the driver the address to my old apartment, my voice steadier than I feel inside.

As the cab weaves through the city's labyrinth of streets, my mind is a whirlwind of confusion. Brian's face, once a source of safety and comfort, now haunts my thoughts. The man I love seems like an illusion, a mirage that vanished the moment I saw that horrifying image.

I knew he beat the crap out of the stalker, but the idea that he could hit his own child…

Maybe it wouldn't bother me so much if my period wasn't late.

"Wait," I tell the driver and see him look at me in the rearview mirror. "Can we stop at the drugstore first?"

We pull up to a CVS, and I rush inside, my heart racing with anxiety. The shelves blur together as I grab a pregnancy test, my mind grappling with the possibility of another life being caught up in this mess. I'm only 19. The weight of the situation crashes down on me, and I feel an overwhelming sense of helplessness.

Back in the cab, clutching the small bag containing the test, my hands shake. Each passing moment intensifies the storm inside me. The cab ride, usually a mundane journey through the city, feels like a passage through purgatory. I'm stuck in a nightmare of my own making.

When I finally step into my old apartment, a strange mixture of relief and sadness washes over me. The familiar surroundings provide a momentary sense of comfort, but it's fleeting. As I close the door behind me, I realize I'm not just running from Brian, but I'm running from the life I thought we could have together.

Sitting on the edge of my old bed, I stare at the pregnancy test in my hands. I take a deep breath, trying to steady my trembling hands as I unwrap the test. Time stretches into eternity as I wait for the results, my mind echoing with the what-ifs and the could-have-been.

When the timer beeps, I force myself to look. I hold my breath, my eyes scanning the tiny window that holds the answer to a question I'm not sure I'm ready to face.

The small plastic stick on the bathroom counter bears two unmistakable lines and my heart plummets. Positive. The word echoes in my mind, drowning out all other thoughts. My fingers tremble as I place the test aside, unable to bear looking at it any longer. How did my life spiral into this mess? All I had to do was not take the copygirl job, not sleep with my boss…

I need to get away, if only for a moment, from the crushing reality of the positive test, the shattered trust, and my own conflicted emotions.

I leave the bathroom, needing distance from the test. Back on the futon, I pick up my phone, seeing that it's buzzing with Brian's relentless calls. I guess he's noticed that I left then. My mind races with thoughts of him—the affection we shared, the tenderness he once showed me. But now, those memories are tainted by the image of his son's bruised face and the knowledge of his violence.

The phone's incessant buzzing intensifies, a reminder of the storm awaiting me. My hands shake as I power it off, silencing Brian's desperate attempts to reach me. I'm not ready to face him yet, not until I can sort through my own feelings…and make my own plan.

A sob catches in my throat as I collapse onto the futon. The tears come unbidden, streaming down my cheeks like a river of despair. I'm torn between the longing for the man I thought I knew and the horror of his actions. How can I still want to be with him after what he did?

Deep inside, a part of me clings to the idea of being with Brian for the rest of my life. The room feels stifling, the walls closing in on me. I need air, space, a moment to breathe without the weight of Brian's actions pressing down on my chest.

I grapple with my emotions, the love I once felt warring with the reality of Brian's violence. I want to believe in the goodness I saw in him, the tenderness he showed me. But can I ever trust him again?

At least I still have this apartment. The room feels like a cocoon, a place where I can hide until I'm ready to face reality again.

That is, until my sanctuary shatters when the door bursts open, and Brian stands there, his face etched with worry and panic. "Blair, are you okay?" he breathes, his voice laced with desperation.

I look up, my eyes swollen from tears, and manage a weak nod. "Physically, I'm fine," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. Mentally and emotionally, though, I'm shattered.

"Why did you run?" he demands, his voice rising with frustration. "I've told you before, you're mine. You can't just run and hide whenever you're upset. It's unacceptable."

His possessiveness, once something that thrilled me on so many levels, feels soured now.

"Unacceptable?" I snap, my anger breaking through the cracks of my despair. "Unacceptable is what you did to Tanner! How could you hurt your own son like that? How can I trust you, Brian?"

His face darkens, his eyes flashing with a mix of anger and guilt. "You don't understand, Blair. Tanner was out of control. I had to?—"

"You had to what?" I interrupt, my voice trembling with a mixture of fury and hurt. "Hit him? Is that your solution to everything? Violence?"

My words hang heavy in the air, the truth of them echoing between us. Brian's jaw clenches, and for a moment, I see a flicker of remorse in his eyes. But it's quickly replaced by stubborn defiance.

"He's my son, Blair. I know what's best for him," he retorts, his voice strained.

"I just can't believe that you hit him!"

"Fuck, Blair. He didn't have an ounce of remorse for what he did to you!" Brian blocks the doorway of my shitty efficiency apartment, refusing to let me leave. "And this…this is how you want to resolve things? Coming to hide out in this hell hole? You. Aren't. Leaving. Me."

Right this moment, I feel ungrateful. Ungrateful for all the beautiful things Brian has done for me, ungrateful for how kind and caring he's been even when it goes against his nature.

And ungrateful for the feelings that he so clearly has for me, and that I return in kind. Do I love Brian? I've asked myself this question over and over, and the part that scares me is that from the very beginning, I've thought that yes, I do. I do love him.

Tears well in my eyes, and I try to swallow past the lump in my throat. Oh, god. I didn't come back to this old apartment because I was scared of Brian. I came back because I was afraid of how much I loved him after such a short time.

And because I'm scared of the positive pregnancy test sitting on my bathroom counter right now. But I'll have to deal with that later.

"Brian," I gasp, the tears starting to roll down my face. "I'm sorry."

All of his anger bleeds out in an instant, and he's right in front of me, cupping my face and brushing my tears away with his thumbs. "Blair, no. I shouldn't have yelled. Just the thought of you running from me had me so angry…"

The sobs are coming hard now, but Brian tilts my face up and slants his mouth over mine. He kisses me deeply, with such a feeling that it takes my breath away.

I don't know how it happens, but soon enough he's got me backed up with my legs against my little dining table. At first, I think he's going to lift me on top of it, but he surprises me by putting his hands on my hips and pivoting me, my back to his chest.

"I want to try something different," he rasps against my hair, lips moving to the shell of my ear. "I'm done arguing and talking about all this stupid shit. We can't let anything and anyone come between us. I just want you."

"Yes, Daddy. I just want you, too." I'm already feeling drunk on him. Anything he suggests is on the table as long as he keeps touching me. "What did you have in mind?"

Brian's hands move to cup my ass cheeks, kneading them firmly. "I want to fuck this soft, round ass of yours, Blair."

My breath catches in my throat, and my pussy gives an involuntary clench. I've never even thought about doing that before, but with Brian, it sounds…intriguing. Everything he's done to me so far has been so full of pleasure.

"Are you sure? Doesn't that hurt?"

"At first," he answers simply. "But you know I'll make it good for you."

"Yes," I answer, and the word barely leaves my lips before his mouth is on my neck, kissing and sucking. One of his hands snakes around to my chest and yanks my dress down, freeing my breasts. The cool air makes my nipples pebble, and Brian teases one with his fingers while the other hand moves to dip between my legs.

"This pretty little pussy is already wet for me," he growls, nipping my neck.

"Of course I'm wet for you," I moan. "I always am. You're all I can think about, Brian."

His answering groan is deep and low, and it makes me shiver.

"I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear you say that, baby. But I've got to warn you, if I take your ass, it's not going to be enough. I'll need all of you every day in every way. Is that what you want?"

I already know the answer before I even open my mouth. "Yes, Brian. Yes. I want it, all of it. Give it to me."

"Then you've got me, Blair. Forever. Now, I'm going to get this ass ready for me, and I want you to touch yourself. I want you to come for me, baby."

I don't hesitate, sliding my hand down and between my legs, stroking my clit in tight circles. It feels so good, and with Brian's body behind mine, supporting me, it's easy to lose myself in the pleasure.

Brian is working me too, his fingers dipping into my pussy and his thumb teasing my ass. The combination of his hands and mine is too much, and I'm barreling towards the edge.

"I'm so close," I gasp, and Brian's teeth sink into my shoulder, sending me careening into an orgasm.

"Good girl," he growls, his fingers still moving. "You're doing so good, baby. So damn good."

My knees are weak and shaky, and I would have collapsed if not for Brian's strong arm around my waist.

"Can you give me one more, Blair? Can you come for me again?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Good girl. Keep touching your clit."

His fingers are gone, but soon, there's something blunt and thick pressing against my ass. I know immediately it's his cock, and my body tenses.

"Trust me, baby. Let go and let Daddy take control."

I nod and lean back into his arms, and he pushes forward. Brian goes even slower than when he fucked me for the first time, and I can see why. My ass doesn't want to let him in at first, and when he makes it inside, there's a burning sensation that has me gripping the table hard. There's a moment of pain, and then I'm relaxing, and his cock slides inside my ass.

It's unlike any sensation I've ever felt before, and high, breathy noises come out of me helplessly.

"God, your ass is tight, baby."

"Is it good?" I ask, voice shaky, and his arms tighten around me.

"So fucking good, Blair. So damn good."

We stay like that for a moment, both of us adjusting, and then, Brian starts to move. His thrusts are slow and deep, and they hit places inside of me that make me see stars.

"That's it, Blair. Take it all."

It's the encouragement I need to switch from nervousness to pure arousal, my pussy clenching around nothing and my ass squeezing his cock.

"Fuck, Blair. That's it, baby."

Brian reaches around, finding my clit and rubbing firm circles around it. The electric pleasure builds in my core, his cock pistoning into me, driving me higher and higher.

All of the sensations collide and combine, and before I can catch my breath, I'm coming, blackness creeping into the edges of my vision. It's so powerful that my knees feel weak and shaky. But Brian is here to hold me up, just like he always is.

He follows close behind, his cock pulsing as he fills me with jets of warmth. I can feel it even more clearly in my ass than I can in my pussy, hot and thick.

"God, Blair. That was amazing," he breathes, his forehead pressed against the back of my head.

"It was," I agree, feeling like the luckiest woman in the world.

"I meant what I said, you know. I want you forever, Blair. All of you."

"I'm yours," I promise, knowing in my heart that it's true.

Brian pulls me closer, and we hold each other tight, our hearts beating as one.

The past week has been filled with a flurry of painful and hopeful feelings. Brian and I have made up, our love surviving the storm of his deeds. A sudden intensity, a fusion of passion and fear, hope and doubt, crackles in the space between us. I've noticed an increasing sense of life inside of me with each day that goes by, a constant reminder of how complicated our situation is.

Brian has arranged a special date for tonight in the center of New York City, and there's something about his behavior that makes me think it's going to be a memorable night. He takes me to a rooftop garden restaurant that's tucked away from the busy streets below, and I'm welcomed by a sea of sparkling fairy lights as soon as we enter the magical setting. The lights cast a gentle glow over the private room, making a wonderful backdrop for what's to come. Inhaling, I notice the air is filled with the aroma of blossoming flowers.

We're directed to a quiet corner table that's decorated with pretty white roses and flickering candles. The night sky above us, which is speckled with stars, creates an appealing atmosphere. I'm captivated by the view of the city skyline, the lights shimmering like a million dreams below.

Brian's eyes connect with mine, his fingers intertwining with mine as he reaches across the table. My heart races, my nerves zinging with excitement and fear. It's time to tell him—about the pregnancy, about my love, about our future together.

"Blair, you've brought light into my life ever since we first met," he says, his eyes never leaving mine. "I've messed up, but being with you has helped me choose a new course. I don't want to think of spending one day without you, baby."

He moves, slowly standing and coming across the table. Brian, all 6'7 of him, kneels in front of me and takes my hands in his.

"I love you so much. Will you marry me, Blair?"

He digs into his pocket and pulls out a small velvet box, which causes my heart to nearly burst. He opens it to reveal a sparkling solitaire diamond ring that catches the light above us. This is not a dream. It's happening. It's really happening, and I feel like I'm about to explode with happiness.

"Brian," I say, my voice cracking. "I love you too. And there's something else I need to tell you."

He glances at me, waiting for me to speak. I inhale deeply and instinctively reach for my stomach to cuddle the priceless life that's developing inside of me. "I'm pregnant. And I want nothing more than to build a future with you, to raise our child together, to be a family."

His eyes widen with surprise, then soften with understanding and joy. He places his hand gently on mine, his touch warm and reassuring. "Blair," he rasps. "You've made me the happiest man alive…even if you haven't answered my question yet."

Through tears of happiness, I giggle and then nod, my heart overflowing with love for the man before me. "Yes, Brian," I say, my voice warbling as I brush the tears from my cheeks. "I will marry you."

When he sweeps me up into a kiss, it's the sweetest I've ever had. Brian is not a soft or gentle man, but right now, he comes close, and I love every second of it.

Mrs. Blair Beckett—it's the most beautiful name I've ever heard.