Chapter 3

3

BLAIR

I can't stop thinking about what happened earlier today and the way Brian's hands felt on mine. I can't get his voice out of my head, and I keep replaying the moment when he was so close to me I could feel his breath on my skin.

It's torture, and I can't concentrate on anything. My thoughts are running wild, and all I want is for him to come back and tell me what to do again. I want him to put his hands on me and make me obey his every command.

As soon as I get home from work, I run upstairs to take a shower. The tiny efficiency I'm renting is only mine for the summer. The actual renter, a tech guy I didn't even meet face to face with, will be back in the fall, so everything in the place is his. I don't mind, though. Living in New York was always supposed to have been an adventure and not something permanent.

I need to cool off, but the second the warm water hits my skin, I'm thinking about Brian again. I close my eyes, and let the fantasy play out in my mind. I imagined his hands on me, his mouth kissing and licking my body...

Oh, no. This isn't good. I have to get a hold of myself. I can't think about him like this. He's my boyfriend's father, and that's just wrong. But...oh, god. Why does it feel so right? I've never wanted anyone like this before, and I can't stop myself from thinking about him. It's like I'm addicted to him. He's like a decadent Swiss chocolate, or a glass of sweet white wine after a long, hot day.

I take a deep breath and try to calm down. I turn the water to cold, hoping it'll snap me out of my daydream.

It helps...a little, at least. Once I'm out, eating cold Chinese food leftovers on my futon, I start to contemplate what I need to do now. The work wasn't difficult, and for the pay, it's a spectacular opportunity. However, I'm not sure how I can be in the same office with Brian every day, knowing he's so close and wanting him so badly. It's a temptation I can't afford to give into.

I take a deep breath and try to clear my head. I can't let myself think about him like this. It's wrong. But I can't stop thinking about him. My thoughts drift back to the way he looked at me and the way his voice made me tremble. I can't get the memory out of my mind.

I guess the only thing to do is figure out how to live with it. Maybe being around him more often will dull the energy between us. Or maybe I won't even see him again. I mean...he is the CEO and I'm just a copy girl.

It's not a problem. I'll be fine. I can do this. I can make it through one day without thinking about him. It'll be fine.

One thing has been made painfully clear, though. I need to break up with Tanner...fast. I don't plan on letting anything happen between me and Brian, but if it does, I definitely can't still be linked to his son.

Tanner is going to freak out, though...I just know it. He's always been pushy and possessive, and while the thrill of dating someone carefree like Tanner was fun at first, I've quickly grown annoyed with him. He doesn't like being told no and thinks he can get whatever he wants all the time. We've kissed, but nothing else, even though he bitches and moans about wanting to go further each time.

That's definitely not happening. I haven't done that with anyone, and whiny Tanner isn't going to be the first. My phone rings, interrupting my thoughts.

It's him. Shit.

"Hey, baby."

"Hi," I say, trying to sound casual.

I can hear that he's in his car, driving with the windows down. "How was your first day? I didn't even get to see you before the end of the day."

I'm not sure why Tanner is surprised by that, considering he's bragged to me multiple times about how his ‘job' with his dad's company isn't something he takes seriously and how he comes and goes as he pleases. "Um...it was okay. I think I did pretty well."

"Good. I knew this was the right move. Dad isn't exactly a pushover, but I figured you're cute enough that he'd let you stick around." Tanner snorts. "He's got the money to spare after all."

"Thanks..." I wrinkle my nose in distaste. "But I don't want to just be a pretty face, Tanner."

Of course, he's dismissive of me. He always is. "Yeah, yeah. You're a boss babe. Whatever you need to hear, Blair. Anyway, I was thinking, since you have to work tomorrow, we should go out tonight."

Absolutely not. "Oh, um, I don't know. I'm kind of tired."

"Come on, baby. It'll be fun. Let's go get some drinks and celebrate. I'll pick you up at seven."

"Okay." There's nothing that could possibly be worse than going out with Tanner tonight after spending the entire day lusting after his dad, but I'm not one to argue and Tanner always complains until I give in anyway.

He's smug when he says, "Good. See you then, baby."

Crap. I can't do this. Tanner might be an asshole, but he's still a person. "Tanner, wait. Actually, I think we need to talk..."

"What's wrong, babe?"

Am I really about to break up with him over the phone on the same day he got me a job? I feel ungrateful, but not enough to stay. Thinking about Tanner trying to paw all over me after a few drinks makes me feel physically ill. I've always hated how he liked to grab me even if I told him to stop. "Um...I'm sorry. I think we should break up."

"What? Why?" he snaps, incredulous and almost yelling.

"It's just not working out."

Shock morphs to anger quickly enough. "Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

He guffaws, the laughter cruel. "Yeah, whatever. You're just using me so you can go fuck my dad. Don't think I didn't notice."

Uh oh. I jump up from the couch and start to pace, full of nervous energy. I feel like a deer in the headlights. Surely I haven't been caught this fast? "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb. You're a bitch, and I saw you making eyes at him. You in that tight, little skirt. I should have known what you were really after."

He hangs up, and the phone is dead. Well, shit. That went about as well as I expected. And he's probably going to tell his dad. Double shit. I'm not worried about Brian firing me...but I am worried about how Tanner will react if his dad tells him not to bother me.

I sigh and put my phone down.

This is such a mess.