Chapter 4

4

KASEY

T he first time I wake up is when Kenneth brushes my hair from my forehead to lay a kiss there, telling me he's going to work out and he'll be back with breakfast before I know it. I'm sore but warm and content, so I mumble an agreement and roll back over, pulling the blanket with me. The sun isn't even up, so there's no way I want to be.

The second time I wake up is to the sound of my phone buzzing on the nightstand. It's still mostly dark outside, the sky painted colors of pink and red, but at least it doesn't feel like the middle of the night anymore.

I groggily reach for the still-vibrating device, expecting it to be something from work. My suspicions are correct, but instead of a useless email that I've been included in along with everyone else in the company, it's a priority email from my boss—the CEO of a company that just so happens to be a direct competitor to Kenneth's. My heart races as I open the email and read the subject line: "Interview for web design position with tuition reimbursement."

I can't believe it. Web design is what I'm in school for, but as of right now, I can only afford to go to school part-time while also working so I can afford my degree.

Tuition reimbursement would change everything for me, and it would change my degree path from six years going part-time to maybe less than three! I thought I'd have to climb the company ladder from my lowly IT intern position at a snail's pace, but working in my field while also finishing my degree is a fast track I never expected.

I have no idea what prompted the company to offer me such a thing, but I'm not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. The email explains that the job is in Seattle, where the digital portion of the company is located, and they're looking for someone to start as soon as possible. I struggle to a sitting position, kicking the blankets off from where they are tangled around my legs, and read the email over again at least 10 times.

I've never applied for this job, and the contents of the message are cryptic, reading "On the merit of your references, we want to extend the opportunity to interview for a web designer position based out of Seattle, Washington with available tuition reimbursement for full-time work. Please respond asap to set up a time."

What the heck is going on here?

Excitement and fear clash inside me. Seattle is so far from New York and Kenneth. If I take this job, what will happen to us? Will our relationship survive the distance?

On that note, what even is our relationship? There's the possibility that I'm expecting too much, but after the way last night went, tender and intense, I can't imagine that he isn't feeling just as invested as I am. Short time frame and age gap be damned.

Something tells me he will not be thrilled with a long-distance romance either. I know he's busy with work, but I can't imagine not seeing him for weeks at a time. That isn't even considering that I'd be moving to work for a company that is in direct competition with him. There's a big difference between interning for a company and taking on a full-time position that will take me hundreds of miles away from home.

I rake my hands through my tangled hair, staring at the email, trying to figure out what to do. I could decline the interview, but I know I'll regret it. This is my chance to make my dream a reality. But if I go, what about Kenneth? Will he understand? Or will he feel like I'm abandoning or, worse, betraying him?

I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the decision settle on my shoulders. I know I have to talk to him about it, to see what he thinks. Maybe we can make it work. Or maybe this will be the end of us. Either way, I have to go for it. It's too important to let go.

I've agonized, with no exaggeration, all day about the job offer. With Kenneth once again occupied with work, I spent the morning and afternoon enjoying the spa and exploring the grounds of the resort, using the alone time to parse through my thoughts and see if it's possible for me to come up with a conclusion that will let me have both my career and Kenneth.

His text comes in as I'm dozing by the rooftop pool of his suite in one of the plush lounge chairs, letting the evening sun kiss my skin. It reads, "I've got a date scheduled for us tonight. Be ready by 9 pm. See you soon baby girl."

I let out a slow breath, any excitement I might have over a special date somewhat tempered by the news I have to tell Kenneth. He's a logical man, so maybe there's some way that he will understand. For some reason, though, I'm not hopeful.

Kenneth sends a light dinner of salad and buttered bread to the suite around 7 pm, but I don't have much of an appetite. When he finally arrives around 8:30 pm, some of my stress evaporates at being able to wrap my arms around his neck as he kisses me thoroughly.

"Easy, Kasey," he chuckles, slowly moving me back with his hands on my shoulders. "If you keep kissing me like that, we're going to end up back in bed and the date I've got planned will go to waste."

"I just missed you is all," I tell him honestly, and his normally hard eyes soften.

"Hearing that is music to my ears, baby girl, but we've got to get moving if we're going to make it on time." His hands slide down my back to cup my asscheeks through the sundress I've thrown on. "But if you want to show me how much you miss me later, I won't complain."

As tempting as it is to stay in, we're in paradise, and I don't want to spend all our time indoors. Kenneth links our hands together and leads me out into the night, and we walk about fifteen minutes along a winding concrete path through the resort until we reach a smaller, more secluded building.

The air is cool and crisp, and I can see the stars shining brightly above us. Kenneth leads me up a staircase bolted onto the side of the building, and when we reach the top, I can see that the rooftop has been transformed into a stargazing oasis, with telescopes set up and blankets spread out.

In the middle of it all is a table with chilled wine and a charcuterie board. It's beautiful, and when I turn to look at Kenneth, he's smiling down at me with a look that is full of affection. The idea of stargazing under the clear Hawaiian sky is just too romantic to ignore. I take his hand, feeling grateful that he's here with me to share this experience.

"This is amazing," I breathe. "You planned this all yourself?"

"For the most part. The resort was more than happy to help me set it up when I told them that cost was no issue." He smirks.

Next to the multiple telescopes, an astronomer greets us with a warm smile and guides us through how to use the machines. He shows us various constellations and tells us the fascinating myths and stories behind each one.

I'm captivated by the knowledge he's sharing, and I find myself looking at Kenneth with wonder as we learn together. Never in my life would I think a man would be creative enough to come up with something like this just to make me happy.

After a while, the astronomer departs, leaving us to stargaze on our own. Kenneth seems to take more pleasure in having me look through the telescope myself while he stands behind me, hands drifting from my shoulders, down my back, and up once more. It's like he's drinking in my enjoyment, and it's more satisfying to him than participating himself.

While the stars continue to wheel above us, we lie down on one of the blankets and snuggle up close to each other, sipping wine as we gaze up at the stars. There are cushions beneath the blankets, for which I'm thankful because I could spend all night out here if given the chance. The night sky is so bright and clear, and I feel like I'm in a dream, the outline of the Milky Way stretching across the sky. I feel so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

As we talk and soak in the comfort of each other's touch, my inner turmoil about the job interview fades away. Kenneth has a way of making me forget about all my worries, and I'm so grateful for his presence in my life. We talk about our hopes and dreams, sharing our deepest desires with each other. It's a beautiful and intimate moment, and I feel so lucky to be experiencing it with him.

Eventually, we fall silent, just enjoying the peaceful setting and each other's company. The stars twinkle above us, and my heart overflows with love and gratitude. Love? I think quickly, surprised by the thought of being in love already, but it just feels so natural. So real.

"I'll never forget this moment, Kenneth," I sigh, moving closer until we're connected at almost every available point.

"Neither will I," he agrees, kissing my temple. "We'll reminisce on it when we're old and gray."

His words cause a lump to form in my throat, and for a second, I consider just letting everything remain as is for the night and breaking the news to him about the job interview tomorrow…but that's not fair. After all the effort he's put in, Kenneth deserves to know.

"Kasey, are you okay?" Kenneth's voice breaks through my thoughts, and I realize that I've been quiet for too long.

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "Yeah, I'm fine. This is just...amazing. Thank you for this."

He smiles at me, and I feel a sense of warmth and, once more, love, radiating through my entire being. In this moment, I can't imagine leaving him, but I know I need to consider all my options.

As we lie there, gazing up at the stars, I feel conflicted. On one hand, I'm swept up in the romance of the night and the love I feel for Kenneth, despite all the things that should make our connection impossible. But on the other hand, the job interview looms over me, a reminder that I need to consider my career and my future.

I know I need to talk to Kenneth about it eventually, but for now, I want to focus on this beautiful moment we're sharing together.

He raises himself on his elbow, hovering over me, his handsome face lit only by starlight and moonlight. Our lips touch softly, and the kiss starts to deepen, but suddenly, I break away, my heart racing.

"Kenneth, I have to tell you something," I say, my voice shaking.

"What is it?" he asks, looking at me curiously.

"I got an email today from the CEO of the company I'm interning with. They want me to interview for a web design position… in Seattle," I swallow hard once I get the words out, biting my lip nervously.

His gaze shutters, but he doesn't look bothered yet. "Turn it down."

My mouth falls open in surprise. "Huh? Why would I do that? Tuition reimbursement is included in the job and I'm really considering taking it! It's a great opportunity, and I could come back to New York–"

"So all this time you've been looking for jobs in other states?" Kenneth's voice rises in anger. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"It just came out of nowhere. I didn't know what to do," I say, trying to explain. "I didn't apply on my own! My resume must have been in the system and matched the criteria they were looking for or something." I reach for him, and he pulls away. "Kenneth, please, I've been really enjoying this time we've spent together…"

"Is that why you're with me?" he asks, his voice laced with bitterness. "So you can use me until you find something better?"

"No, of course not!" I protest, but he's already standing up, his face twisted.

"I can't believe you'd do this to me, Kasey," he says, shaking his head in disbelief. "I thought we had something real here. I guess I'm worth about as much to you as my son, right?"

I'm on my feet as soon as he is, begging him to let me explain myself more, heart pounding so hard I can hear its echo in my own ears. This is spiraling out of control so fast that I don't know what the hell to do. I never expected that this would be his response, and I'm panicking!

I watch in silence as he storms off, leaving the remnants of our date still set up on the blanket. Tears prick at my eyes, and I'm rocked by a sense of overwhelming sadness. He must think I'm a terrible person, or that Devin was right all along about me just using him for revenge…

Without anything else to do and feeling numb, I sink back down to the blanket and nurse my glass of champagne, hoping beyond hope that once Kenneth cools off, he will come back to me.

I sit there for what feels like hours, staring up at the stars like I've done all night, lost in my thoughts. The night that was once so romantic now feels like a complete disaster. How could things have gone so wrong? I thought we were connecting so well, but now I feel like everything is ruined. I don't know what to do now. Sure, it's wild to be falling for a man after so short of a time, but what I feel for him is real.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Maybe I should have told Kenneth about the job offer this morning, but it all happened so fast. I didn't have a chance to process it myself before I was telling him, too. Any hope I had of Kenneth helping me decide what to do about the interview is now dashed. I made the wrong call somewhere along the line.

Maybe…maybe this is for the best…

But no, that's not what I want. I want Kenneth, I want this relationship to work. But how can it when he doesn't trust me? How can I make him see that this job offer is unexpected, that I didn't plan for this to happen?

Ugh! Finishing the glass of champagne, I sit it aside and wrap my arms around myself, letting the wind pick up the strands of my hair and making it dance around my face. I hate how vulnerable I feel right now. But I know that I need to talk to Kenneth, to try and make things right between us. I stand up, brush off my dress, and head back to my own room, hoping he'll be there waiting for me.

The walk back to the main part of the resort is long, but it gives me time to clear my head and get my emotions under control. I know I have to make Kenneth understand that I'm not leading him on and that there is a path forward for us somewhere if he can just work with me. As I reach the door, I hesitate. What if he is inside but he's still angry with me? What if he doesn't want to talk? I take a deep breath and push the door open.

Inside, the suite is empty, except for my luggage and my things scattered about right where I left them. With a lump in my throat, I exhale slowly and begin to pick my things up, packing them back into my suitcase. Each small thing I grab feels like another piece of my broken heart.