Chapter 5

5

HALEY

I think I'm losing my mind.

I know that I worked a shift last night and that yesterday afternoon, I went to the hospital to see Hugh and was confronted by Alex. Plus all the things that happened once we were outside behind the hospital. But all of these things don't seem real today as I try to mentally prepare for what's coming tonight.

Everything feels like it's happened to a different person and I'm just an observer. There's no way that I, Haley Lyons, would be getting ready to go to a man's house tonight to lose my virginity, right? A man who's twenty years older than me and also my ex's dad? The idea is just too wild. Yet, here I am, doing exactly that.

There have been a million chances for me to back out and just chalk up the time I spent with Hugh as just fun fling. I could have talked to my friends at work. I could have told him that I wasn't interested in more, but I didn't do any of those things. Because the truth is that I really, really want everything he's so clearly offering me.

At 6:30 pm, I'm done getting ready, and I look around my cheap studio apartment, confirming that mentally, I'm ready for all of this. It's hard to believe, here among all my second-hand furniture and eclectic pieces of decoration that I'm going to spend the night in a doctor's opulent home. I'm excited. Nervous but excited.

Checking my appearance in the mirror one more time, I nod, grab the overnight bag I packed myself, and head downstairs to where the car Hugh sent is waiting on me. Hugh never gave me a concrete answer on how to dress for the night, only telling me that we're staying in at his place. So I went with a soft, cream-colored dress that brushes my knees, layering a navy sweater over it to combat the unpredictable weather. Today is nice, though, and the sun is shining as it sets.

The car is on the curb just like Hugh said it would be. It's a blacked-out sedan, way different than the Honda Civic-types that pick me up when I splurge on an Uber instead of taking public transport. The driver greets me briefly but stays silent otherwise, leaving me to mull over what the night holds for me.

I've second-guessed myself a million times, but this thing with Hugh is the first thing I've felt passionate about in so long. He lights some sort of fire in me that has been missing. Hugh makes me feel like life is in living color again. More than that, I like his bossy side. I've been living on my own for so long, I didn't realize how good it feels to have someone else take control. Someone else worrying for me. Someone else looking after me, making sure I'm alright and safe.

So what if I barely know him and getting so attached so quickly is foolish? I believe in fate, and I'm choosing to believe it's what is leading me to him right now.

I step out of the car once we reach Hugh's and approach the door. He opens it before I can even raise my hand to knock, greeting me with a kiss and his hands on my hips as he guides me inside. I smell something delicious cooking, and Hugh laughs when I turn my head toward the kitchen to see what the source of the scent is.

"I cooked for you," he admits, hooking his thumbs in the pocket of his jeans. Combined with a dark green fisherman's sweater, Hugh looks even more handsome in his casual clothes than he does in his doctor's coat. "I hope you like Italian."

There's untenable heat simmering between us, the knowledge of what's to come, but Hugh keeps himself in check, and I follow his lead. I know if I asked, he would skip dinner completely and drag me to the bedroom, but this is a slow seduction. I think. And he's put a lot of effort into it.

So we keep our hands to ourselves and have dinner at his dark wooden dining table, sharing a bottle of deep red wine and delicious chicken parmesan. The wine is enough to warm my belly and make my thoughts a little fuzzy at the edges, but not enough that I'd consider myself tipsy. Which is perfect. Something tells me I'm going to want to be able to remember everything in perfect detail.

We don't talk about the hospital, Alex, or anything that might bring a negative air to the evening. Instead, Hugh is easygoing and eager to learn about me. I'm shy, holding back details of my boring life at first, but he's so interested that I open up bit by bit. Once the wine bottle is empty, I feel more comfortable with him than I would have thought possible.

"Sweet Haley," Hugh starts, leaning over the table and taking my hands, his thumbs running across my knuckles. "I have two options for you. We can open another bottle of wine and have dessert, or I can take you to the blankets I've laid out in front of the fireplace."

My heart rate kicks up immediately, and I suck in a breath. I feel like I can't answer, like my mouth won't open, and apparently, that's answer enough for Hugh. He lets go of my hands and stands, stalking around the table until he makes it to me, grabbing my chin with his thumb and forefinger and making me look into his eyes.

"Stand up," Hugh demands, and I do so eagerly. I want him to be in control. I don't want to worry or to second guess. Once I'm on my feet, he drags me into a searing kiss that has all my worries starting to fall away. I melt into his body, letting his tongue surge into my mouth and tangle with mine as he sweeps me into his arms. "Fireplace, then," he tells me quietly, breaking the kiss only long enough to speak.

He's moved the furniture in his living room to accommodate blankets and pillows, making a haven for the two of us in front of the roaring fire. Hugh's strength is incredible, and he sinks to his knees without even a second of hesitation, gently laying me on the soft bed of blankets and looking down at me with hungry eyes.

"This is the only time I'm going to ask you, sweetheart. You want me to fuck you, Haley?"

I'm already so worked up at the possibility that all I can do is nod. Hugh grins, his expression dangerous as he jerks his sweater over his head and throws it aside. The firelight plays over his bare, broad chest and rough-hewn features, and I just have time to run my hands over his muscles before he's bracketing my head with his forearms on the ground.

Hugh crushes his mouth to mine, parting my lips with his tongue and sweeping inside until I'm breathing hard before he moves to my jawline. He's heavy on top of me, and all I can see is him. The entire world has closed in, and now it's just the two of us. Hugh tries to be gentle, but there's an edge to the way he touches me that lets me know he's holding back.

When he lifts up enough to start to pull my sweater over my head, I rise to help him. "I love this dress, angel," he murmurs against the shell of my ear, "but I want it gone, too."

He rises to his knees and I sit up too, grabbing the hem of my dress and pulling it over my head with shaky hands. I own a single matching bra and panty set, pink lace, and I made the conscious choice to wear them tonight. I know I made the right choice when Hugh's pupils blow wide, lids lowering when I toss the dress aside. He unabashedly palms his erection through his pants and drags his eyes over every inch of me.

"Now the rest."

I'm surprised at first, but the heat of the fire is warm on my skin, and the wine has given me an unexpected edge of bravery. So, with Hugh watching my every movement, I unhook my bra and slide it down my arms slowly. Then I lift to my knees, just like he is sitting, and slide my panties down my hips, reminding myself over and over again that he's been tongue deep in my pussy already and I don't need to feel embarrassed. I see a muscle jump in Hugh's face as he watches me, his hands clenching and unclenching. Knowing I affect this powerful man so much is a heady feeling.

We aren't even touching and this is all turning me on so much. As soon as I drop my panties to the ground somewhere behind me, Hugh moves. He comes forward, steadying me with a hand on my lower back while his other hand explores my body. I jump when he rubs the rough pad of his fingers over my nipples before pinching them and repeating the gentle rub again. Heat is pooling in my core, but he's going so freaking slow that it's driving me insane.

When he kisses me, it's gentle, too. Even when he finishes with his hands on my nipples and his fingers descend to my pussy, the intensity of his kiss doesn't pick up. It makes me squirm, impatient, and still really, really nervous.

Parting my pussy lips, Hugh circles my swollen clit with his fingers while his other hand cups my ass, kneading. I twitch, moaning into his mouth, gripping his arms as he works me over. Finally, he pulls his mouth from mine and whispers, "Lie back, sweetheart."

I do, watching as he undoes his jeans, my mouth going dry as he gets down to just his black underwear and I can see the shape of his cock. It's big, way bigger than I imagined, and the memory of how tight of a fit it was in my pussy for his two fingers makes me feel real, true fear.

"Watch," Hugh rumbles, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his briefs and working them down his trim hips slowly. I see the base of the shaft first and then all the rest of it as he slowly takes off his last item of clothing. He fists his cock in his hand, pumping it a few times for me, and a rush of wetness between my legs tells me just how much my body wants this. Wants him inside of me. But I'm still unsure, no matter how turned on I am.

Hugh steals any words of hesitation I might have when he surges forward and captures my mouth in a searing kiss, the hard rod of his manhood against my stomach. He makes it so hard to think when he kisses me like this, especially when he moves his mouth to the peaks of my nipples and sucks them deep into his mouth, swirling his tongue and scraping with his teeth until I'm bucking underneath him.

Then he's moving again, and I rise up on my elbows in just enough time to see him lick my pussy in one long stroke, focusing in on my clit before moving lower and wiggling his tongue into my channel.

Hugh follows his tongue with two fingers again, pushing them inside me so slowly. "So tight, sweetheart," he says, voice rough. "Your pussy is going to feel so damned good on my cock."

Everything is so twisted up inside of me. Hugh's fingers can barely fit, but they feel incredible stretching me out. There's uncertainty in me, but I'm so aroused I can barely think. All of my nerve endings are on fire and only soothed by his touch. His cock might hurt, just a little, but I want it too badly to stop now.

With the thumb of one hand slowly stroking my clit while Hugh works two fingers of his other hand inside me, all I can do is clench my teeth and let him ready me for the main event. If he would just touch me a little more, a little faster, I could come just like this. But something tells me that isn't what he wants.

He pumps his fingers in and out once he's fully in, just a teasing of what's to come, and it's already so intense. Hugh waits until there's no more resistance to his fingers before he pulls them out of me, gripping my hips as his mouth retraces its path on my body, just going upwards this time. When he reaches my mouth, the kiss is deep and soul-shaking, and I can feel him adjusting his long, thick cock to get into position.

"You're going to have to breathe through it, Haley," Hugh warns me as he lifts himself up to straddle my hips. His rock-hard tool is impossibly hard, precome shining at the tip. "Because I'm not stopping once I start."

"Okay," I sigh, wondering if he can hear how hard my heart is beating. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Such a brave little girl, Haley. You're so goddamn beautiful." He takes one of my legs, hooking it over his shoulder and kissing my calf.

Then he leans forward, his hand still fisted around his member as I feel a spike of fear when I feel the broad head of it parting the folds of my pussy, resting at the entrance.

Oh God! I think frantically. This is it! He's really going to fuck me!

With aching slowness, Hugh starts to push in, brows drawn together in concentration. There's a burning, stretching feeling at first, and from the way he moves, Hugh must be fighting for every single inch. I suck in air through my teeth, hands gripping the blankets hard, just trying to stay still while he fills me for the very first time.

A helpless sound escapes my lips, and Hugh stops, comforting me with slow kisses as he continues to push forward with his body. Little by little, he fills me impossibly full. For a second, I'm sure it will never end, that he will never fit, but right then, I feel his hips come to rest against mine as he sheathes himself fully. Hugh laughs darkly, satisfied.

He's inside of me. Completely inside of me. I can't believe it.

"Now you're mine," Hugh growls into my ear, nipping at the shell of it. "All mine, little girl."

All I can say is, "Yes, yes."

Now he begins to move, just a little at first, but then pulls out fully and fills me again. Over and over so many times I lose count, my pussy clenching at him each time he does. The burning starts to fade, and it's replaced by an incredible feeling of deep pleasure that's almost indescribable. Hugh's thrusts are so controlled and even, making sure I can comfortably take all of him, that it's maddening. My entire body shakes, my arms thrown haphazardly around his neck.

Something is building deep in my core, made stronger by the second, but I need more. Less of these even movements, more of the primal fucking I know Hugh is holding back.

"Hugh," I tell him, turning his face so he looks me in the eye. "I won't break. Please give me everything, Daddy."

Unexpectedly, he stops. For one moment, I think I scared him, but he buries his face in the crook of my neck, breathing me in.

"Say that again," he growls.

"Daddy."

All I hear is a low "Fuck" from him before he grabs my other leg and moves it over his shoulder. Now, when he pulls out of me and slams home again, the difference is immediately clear.

I have no idea where that came from, but something clicks between us. Like the last piece of a puzzle slotting into place. It makes sense. So much sense.

Pleasure rips through me as Hugh fucks me in earnest, hitting my g-spot each time he pistons into me. I can barely breathe. It's so blinding and raw. Hugh owns every inch of my body—from the feeling of my nipples against his chest as he moves to where our mouths are crushed together, tongues dancing in an imitation of the rest of our bodies.

I know I'm about to come, the wet sound of him fucking me filling my ears, and it's so much stronger than anything I've ever experienced before. Pleasure is wound so tightly inside of me that I don't even know how my molecules will hold together when it all snaps.

And then it does.

I scream, burying my face in Hugh's shoulder as my climax rocks me. Waves and waves of it hit me like a storm, and I'm drowning in sensation. It's so good, so strong, that tears leak down my face.

Hugh tenses, his thrusts going uneven, and a rumble coming from his chest. I lose track of time, washed away by my orgasm, but snap back to reality when I feel Hugh thrust hard and freeze in place as he fills me with his seed.

He curses, the tendons in his neck standing out as he comes, crushing his mouth to mine and swallowing down the last of my moans. I hold on to him, riding out our shared ecstasy, until finally, it all begins to ebb.

It's done. I let Hugh Harvey fuck me, and it's been the most incredible experience of my life. I hold onto him, never wanting to let go, never wanting to leave this moment in front of the fire. I feel…I feel…

I feel like I love him. Oh, God. I love Hugh, and that shakes me to my core. The words are on the tip of my tongue, but I hold them in, not wanting to ruin this moment. Instead, I let him roll to the side and pull me into his arms once more, stroking my hair and back and whispering sweet praise into my ears.

Sleep hovers over me, and I don't fight it. Not when I feel so safe and complete here in Hugh's embrace.

Days pass, and then a week. Two weeks, and I still haven't admitted to Hugh that I love him.

It doesn't make much sense, really, because every other portion of my life I've switched around to accommodate our relationship. I sleep at his house almost every night, wrapped in his strong arms. Hugh takes me to work on the days I have a shift, at least for the first few days, and eventually just gives me the keys to his second car—a Subaru.

He tells me over and over again that I don't need to work, but quitting is a giant step I'm still afraid to take. So instead, I drop down to part-time and look into scheduling classes for the fall to finish my business degree.

It's all just happening so freaking fast. So why can't I admit that I love him?

There are times that I think he may be the first to say it, but something else always comes out of his mouth instead. He compliments me all the time, praises all the ways I please him, physically and otherwise, but I never get that one little phrase that would free me from the pressure of having to say it myself.

It weighs on me. What if he doesn't feel the same way I do? I have a hard time believing that, especially when he holds me at night after he makes me come so hard I see stars, caressing and stroking my body as he whispers the sweetest words. There's a connection, an attraction between us, that seems to know no boundaries.

So he has to love me, right?

This morning, Hugh went to work like he does almost every morning, and I have the day off. I plan on spending it at his house, obviously, and while I miss him, the quiet is nice too.

I make coffee and walk barefoot to the front porch, still in Hugh's shirt, and sink into one of the plush patio chairs to watch the morning sun stretch across the sky. Things have just been so utterly perfect that it doesn't seem real.

The warmth from the cup seeps into my hands, and I can still smell Hugh's warm scent on his shirt. Maybe today will be the day. The day I tell him I love him.

I'm still mulling the thought over when I see an unfamiliar car pulling into the driveway. I glance up at the security camera above the front door, knowing that Hugh is getting an alert right now about his visitor, but there really isn't any reason for me to go inside and ignore it. So I wait for the person to step out of the beat-up coupe, and when I recognize the familiar shape of the man, my jaw drops open.

It's Alex.

I stand as fast as I can, planning to go inside and lock myself in. He's the last person in the entire universe I want to speak to right now. This is something for Hugh to handle, not me. Please not me.

But Alex stops me, calling my name and saying one of the only things that can make me stop in my tracks. "Haley! He's lying to you!"

Despite my better judgment, I pause with my hand on the doorknob, closing my eyes and cursing under my breath. "What the heck are you talking about?" I ask, not even bothering to turn and look at him.

Alex sounds out of breath when he reaches me, but I turn around and hold up a hand, telling him without words not to come any closer. He stops at the edge of the porch, almost panting.

"Haley, I know you don't want to talk to me, but I'm trying to save you some heartache here," Alex gasps. "My dad…whatever he's telling you about some life together, he's lying. I can prove it."

My stomach drops. There's no way what he's saying is true…right? "Explain."

Alex pulls out his phone, scrolls for a second, and then holds it out for me to take. Cautiously, I come forward and take the device from him, looking at what he's pulled up on the screen. It's a text conversation between Alex and Hugh—from months before I had met either of them.

Hugh: I'm going to take the job in California. You're more than old enough to support yourself at this point, Alex.

Alex: Dad, that's bullshit. Just let me go with you.

Hugh: No. You've got eight months to prepare, but I'm leaving, and that means my financial support is too. Figure it out.

Alex: There really isn't any way that you could just stay here and work? I thought you liked your job…

Hugh: I've made up my mind. I'm taking this job in California because I'm doing what I want for once in my life, not worrying about someone else. Again, figure it out, Alex.

I do a bit of quick math in my mind, feeling like I'm going to vomit at any second. All this time, Hugh has been planning on leaving and hasn't mentioned it to me, not once. And if my math is correct, he'll be leaving…

In three weeks.

I press the back of my hand to my mouth, giving Alex the phone back with my other. Tears threaten to well up in my eyes, but I blink them away. Alex is the last person I want to see me cry.

"See? I told you," he insists. "Dad has just been enjoying sleeping with a younger woman and playing house when he's been planning on leaving all along. Don't you get it?"

"Alex," I snap, turning my face away from him. "You need to leave."

He looks flustered. "You're joking! Are you really going to stay here and wait for him to make excuses? He's using you!"

Alex has to yell the last words because I'm already in the house and locking the door behind me. Finally, alone, I lean against the door and slide down to the floor, covering my face with my hands and giving in to the awful urge to cry. How could I be so naive? How could I believe a successful, amazing man like Hugh would want me?

I sob, alone in the house, while my ex tries to plead his case from outside the door. I don't hear anything he has to say, though, all of my thoughts taken up by how absolutely stupid I've been.

And to think…I fell in love with Hugh. Even now, I love him, and that just makes the heartbreak so much worse.