17. Jane

I'd kissed William a few times but each one had been more incredible than the last. This kiss made me feel hot all over. It awoke something in me that had been dormant for years. I kissed him back and ran my hand through his hair.

I loved William's hair. The dark strands were so soft that running my hand through it felt like touching silk. My other hand was on his chest and I could feel every toned muscle. I'd seen him shirtless before and I was dying to see it again. I wanted to feel his bare chest without the barrier his suit was creating.

William's hand reached for my breast and every coherent thought I possessed left me. I leaned my head against the door as his kisses trailed down my neck. This kiss was slowly becoming a lot more but I didn't have the willpower to stop it.

I wanted to kiss him. I wanted his hands on my body. I wanted all of it.

My phone rang and William paused. He stepped away from me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Mortification gripped me in his absence. I couldn't believe how ready I was to let him take me. I did my best to calm my rapid breathing. "It's okay."

"You should get that," he said before walking out of my room.

It was Skylar. I picked up and brought the phone to my ear. "What?"

"Woah! Who pissed in your Cheerios?" she asked with a small laugh.

I sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so rude."

I realized I was sad about the interruption. I wanted more time with William. It felt like someone was always interrupting us. If it wasn't Josie, it was his mom, or it was Skylar. For once, I just wanted to be with him without any interruptions.

Why?a voice in my head asked but I didn't have an answer.

I focused on what Skylar was saying. I knew she was talking about work but not much else. I'd become a pro at tuning Skylar out whenever she brought up work. It was the only way our friendship could survive. If I didn't do that then I'd be overwhelmed with jealousy. Being Senior Editor at Bella's Elite was just as great as I had imagined. My best friend was living my dream which meant I had to hear about it constantly. I would be lying if I said that didn't hurt, especially because it was my dream long before Skylar even joined the company.

" … still can't believe you went to the Jasmine Ball."

A fraction of Skylar's sentence floated through and I realized she'd stopped talking about work. I'd left her speechless when I told her I was attending the Jasmine ball and she brought it up every day since.

"It was incredible."

"What was it like being surrounded by all those rich people? It must have been overwhelming to be around people of that social class. Did you feel insecure?"

She'd asked this question several times already but I didn't mind answering. I knew she was only asking because she wanted to know everything about the Jasmine Ball. We'd followed the event every year and it was a miracle that one of us had finally attended it.

As Skylar and I spoke, my mind drifted back to William and the way he held me as he kissed me. My body heated up as I remembered the feel of his lips on my neck.

"Jane?"

"Hmm." My eyes widened when I realized I was still on the phone with Skylar but I was having thoughts about William. I coughed slightly before speaking. "Sorry, Skylar. I'm just a bit tired. It's been a stressful day."

"I understand. It can't be easy being married to William," she said.

"Exactly. We'll talk later."

I hung up the phone and crawled into bed. I wasn't tired but sleeping was the only way to escape the thoughts in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about William. He was on my mind as I slept and he was the first thing I thought about when I woke up the next day.

I walked out of my room so I could grab a glass of water. My eyes landed on the clock in the kitchen. I almost choked on my water. It was almost noon!

Why didn't William wake me up? It wasn't like him to wake up late. It wasn't like me either but it wasn't absurd. It was for William though. He would never wake up late, let alone go to work late. We always drove to work together so he woke me up whenever I overslept. Did he leave without me?

I noticed a small note sitting on the kitchen counter and picked it up.

Take the day off.

William.

That was all it said. I turned to the other side but it was blank. Why was he giving me the day off? I hadn't worked in his company long enough to earn one. Was he trying to put some distance between us?

Maybe that was for the best. Things were getting more intimate than they were ever supposed to be. I could use my day off to talk to Ryan. We hadn"t spoken since he'd stormed out of the penthouse last week. I called him every day but he never answered. I imagined that was how he had been treating William. Now we'd both been thrown out of Ryan's life.

I didn't know how long Ryan planned to hold a grudge against me but I knew I wanted it to end today. We were siblings and the only family either of us had left. It felt wrong for us not to talk.

I took a shower and left the penthouse. I tried to call Ryan again but he didn't answer. It was a weekday so I knew he would be at work. I took a cab to the construction company. I'd been there several times so I knew a few of the workers.

"Morning, Mr. Lee," I said as I walked in. The man at the door had seen my face enough times that he let me in without getting a pass from my brother.

"Jane. How are you?"

"Good. Thank you."

The huge building site always gave me a bit of anxiety. It was scary to see it built from the ground up. It felt like I was seeing its weak points which made me uneasy. Ryan didn't see it that way. The process of building something from scratch made him ecstatic. I'd never seen that man happier than when he was staring at building plans.

One of the construction workers handed me a helmet and I thanked him. It didn't take long to find Ryan. He was at the center of a meeting happening beside the building. As the lead engineer, all major decisions fell on his shoulders.

I watched as he shelled out orders and made plans for the day's work. When the group disbanded, it was just the two of us standing there. His eyes widened when he saw me. Then his expression morphed into that of annoyance.

"What are you doing here, Jane?" he asked as he walked away.

I followed him. "I want us to talk. I need us to talk."

"What do you want to talk about? Your fake marriage to my best friend?"

Trust Ryan to be as blunt as possible. "How about we talk about something else? We haven"t spoken to each other in almost a week. That's the longest I've ever gone without talking to you. I miss you. How have you been?"

"Working."

"C'mon, Ryan. Please just meet me in the middle."

He sighed deeply. "I've been good. How's work?"

"Mirabel offered me my old job back." I hadn"t told Ryan about the job offer before because I didn't want William to find out somehow. But now that William already knew, I felt comfortable telling him.

"What? When?"

I filled Ryan in on what happened at the Jasmine Ball. I told him about Mirabel's job offer and my decision to turn it down. When I was done, it was time for his lunch break so we went out to eat together. It felt nice to have some semblance of normal back in our relationship.

Ryan went back to work after his lunch break and I decided to take some food to William. He hardly ever acknowledged his lunch breaks. He worked through them and didn't eat until the end of the day. This would be a nice surprise for him.

I walked out of the company elevator with a smile on my face. I felt excited and shy about bringing William lunch. It was a small gesture but it implied a lot more. My smile died on my lips when I heard a woman's voice coming from his office. Her sultry words floated out of the slightly open door.

" …married to her of all people."

I pushed the door and two sets of eyes turned to face me. William looked shocked to see me but the woman looked annoyed. She scrunched her nose as she looked at me, her disdain palpable. It made me feel small and insignificant.

"I… I brought you lunch," I said awkwardly.

Why did I feel awkward? I'd caught William alone in his office with this strange woman. If anyone should feel awkward, it should be them. I glanced at William. He was sitting on the edge of the table with an unreadable expression. My gaze shifted to the woman. She had her legs crossed and she barely filled out the seat she was in. A red Hermes bag sat beside her. The deep red color matched her red lipstick and nails. Elegant pearls sat on her neck highlighting its thin shape. She seemed familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. I knew I'd seen her before but where?

"You should leave."

My head snapped to William but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at her. The woman's eyes widened a fraction before she composed herself. She didn't seem like the type to ever make a public scene. She stood up gracefully and walked out.

Her perfume stayed with us long after she left. It was rich and haughty, just like her. I turned to William. "Who was that?" I tried to keep my tone cool. I tried to conceal the jealousy that threatened to spill over.

What was he doing alone with a woman like that?

Why did it sound like they were talking about me?

Who was she?

"No one," he said.

"I'm going to need a better answer than that."

He sighed. "She's my ex-girlfriend. We broke up almost a year ago but she never accepted that our relationship was over."

"Why was she here?"

"She wanted to talk."

"About what?" I asked. I knew I was asking too many questions but I couldn't stop myself.

"That's not important. She doesn't mean anything to me." William approached me as he spoke. He stopped when he was in front of me and he placed a hand on mine. "I'm glad you're here."

"I doubt that. I interrupted your nice little reunion."

"Jane." He sounded exasperated.

What right did he have to be exasperated with me?

"Enjoy your lunch," I said. I shoved the package into his hands and stormed out.

I didn't have any right to react the way I did. This marriage was a simple contract but I couldn't help it. I felt painfully jealous. The thought of him with a woman like that made me angrier than I'd felt in a long time.

Why did I feel this way?

***

I'd tried and failed to answer my own questions so I called in reinforcements. And by that, I mean I called Skylar. We were sitting in our usual spot at the bar and I'd just told her about what happened in William's office earlier.

"I can't believe his ex is back in the picture," Skylar said. She shook her head. "That can't be good."

"He said she never accepted that their relationship was over."

"Hmm. Do you believe that?"

"I don't know what to believe," I said. I took a sip of my drink and sighed. "What do you think?"

Skylar winced. "You don't want to hear what I think."

"Of course I do. That's why I called you. Tell me."

"I think…" She paused and looked around dramatically. "William is cheating."

"What?"

"It's an obvious assumption."

I shook my head. "That doesn't make it right. Plus, William can't cheat on me."

"Because he loves you?" she asked, incredulously.

"No."

She gasped. "Does his thing—

I knew where the rest of her sentence was going so I cut her off. "He can"t cheat on me because we're not really married."

"What?"

I told Skylar about the offer William made me. I didn't tell her why I accepted it though. I didn't want her to know it was jealousy that led me down this path. If I had been okay with hearing her talk about my dream job then I would have never married William. Still, I couldn't bring myself to regret that decision.

"So when I say William can't cheat on me. I mean he can't because we're not in a real relationship. All of this is fake," I said, gesturing to my engagement and wedding rings. "He doesn't owe me anything."

Skylar was speechless for a moment. "I can't believe you're going to be divorced in a year."

She continued to speak but I had stopped listening. I twisted the rings on my finger. William didn't owe me anything but I couldn't help feeling heartbroken. What if Skylar was right? Was William really sleeping with the woman I had seen earlier? And why should it bother me if he was? Why did I feel so jealous?

I didn't know what to do with everything I was feeling. It was more than what I signed up for. I wasn't supposed to care enough about William to be jealous yet here I was feeling it in spades.

My feelings for him were starting to change and I was worried I would not survive these new emotions.