Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

C allie stood in the middle of Lisa’s bedroom, and a pang of guilt stabbed her. She’d cleared out everything for Trevor. He’d told her to take her time sorting through Lisa’s things. He’d moved the bed out and brought up the one from the guest room so he could have his own bed downstairs. Other than that, he said the room wouldn’t be used for anything.

But the stuff needed to go. She had the clothes packed and in her car, ready for donating. The makeup and lotions were tossed in the trash. She’d taken a few more items that she thought Evan and Hannah might like to have and put them in their rooms.

She was down to the final box, and she wasn’t sure what to do. It contained Lisa’s memories of her relationship with Trevor. Callie couldn’t throw it out, but she didn’t think the kids should have it unless Trevor said it was okay. This was exactly the kind of stuff a grieving spouse didn’t want to go through.

Sitting on the bed, she opened the box and began to look at the collection. It felt voyeuristic, but Callie couldn’t stop herself. She opened cards and letters from Trevor to Lisa. He’d personalized every single card. No matter how sappy or sentimental the verse inside, he always added his own words. Callie’s heart filled with love for her friends as well as a bit of jealousy over what she’d never been lucky enough to experience.

The opening and closing door downstairs startled her. She’d wanted to get everything done before Hannah and Evan came home. She’d thought she had the time. “Hello?” she called.

She walked into the hall and looked downstairs to see Trevor walking through the living room peeling off a wet shirt.

Once it was over his head, he looked up and saw her staring. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t know you were here.”

“No problem. I’m just finishing up in Lisa’s room.”

“Thanks. I need to change. One of the new laborers had a hard time understanding the concept of making sure the water was turned off.” He held up his dripping shirt. “I’ll be out of your hair in a few.”

“Actually, if you have a few minutes, I have stuff for you to look at so I know what to do with it.”

He nodded and disappeared around the corner toward his room. She pretended not to stare at his back. And his arms. And all the muscle created from hard work. With a deep breath, she went back to the guest room.

She gathered the letters and cards. She put them back in the box while she waited for Trevor to come up. Hopefully, with a shirt on. A minute later he was in the room. “Wow. You cleared out everything?”

“Yeah. I have a few boxes in my car to drop off. And then there’s this.” She tapped the box.

He sat beside her and waited for an explanation.

“It has your wedding album and letters and cards. Little mementos of your relationship with Lisa.”

He blew out a breath and pulled the box closer. He looked inside, pulled out a little teddy bear. “I can’t believe she kept this.” He held it up. “I won this at a neighborhood carnival on one of our first dates. She teased me about not winning her one of the big prizes.”

Callie’s heart squeezed again, and she stood to give Trevor privacy. He reached out and took her hand.

Pulling her back to the bed, he whispered, “Please stay.” She sat next to him and watched as he pulled out a stack of letters. He looked at a couple of cards and moved them aside.

“Why the hell did she keep all of this?” “Because they were fond memories. You were in love and had a good relationship for a long time.”

“But I ruined it. I thought she would’ve burned everything.”

“She loved you. You weren’t a monster.”

He grunted.

Callie stood and moved in front of him. “I don’t think I need to tell you that alcoholism is a disease. You know that. But you were never a monster.”

“Don’t make excuses for me.”

“Don’t make Lisa out to be a saint. It took both of you to mess up your marriage.” She reached into the box. “There are pages and pages of proof that you are a good man.”

“Maybe at one time.”

“You are now.” She dropped the letters back and touched his jaw. The sadness she saw on his face broke her. He had no faith in himself. She lowered and pressed her lips to his. She meant to offer him reassurance, but at the contact, her system buzzed to life. She stroked his lips with hers. When he opened, she kissed him in earnest, stroking her tongue along his, tasting the coffee he’d undoubtedly had with his lunch.

The kiss was slow, spreading warmth through her body. His hand in her hair brought her back to reality, and she jerked back.

Touching her lips, she stared at him with wide eyes. From behind her fingers, she mumbled, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

She backed away and then sprinted down the stairs. Trevor called her name, but she didn’t stop. She ran to her car and started the engine. In the rearview mirror, she saw the boxes of Lisa’s clothes. Guilt swamped her. She’d kissed her best friend’s ex-husband. What the hell was wrong with her?

“I’m sorry, Lisa,” she said as she pulled away from the house. The problem was that she was sorry she’d crossed that line with Trevor, but she couldn’t say she regretted it.

Trevor stood, allowing envelopes to fall from his lap. “Callie,” he called, but she didn’t even slow. By the time he got to the front door, she was pulling away from the curb. What the hell was that?

The last five minutes of his life were a mind fuck. He returned to the bedroom and scooped up the things he’d dropped and shoved them all back into the box. Callie had been right. These were happy memories of an earlier part of his life.

It was time to move on. One day, his kids might want to look through this, but he didn’t need to. He closed the box and tucked it on the shelf in the back of the closet. Then he turned and stared at the bed where Callie had kissed him. He took a minute to try to process it. He could still smell her lotion or perfume lingering in the air. The feel of her silky hair between his fingers and her slick tongue on his.

He should feel bad, but he didn’t. If he really took stock of how he was feeling in this moment, he’d have to admit he was doing pretty damn good. He and Callie were both single adults. While he could admit that the when and where of the kiss might have been weird, the kiss itself had felt right.

Going back downstairs, he took out his phone and called Callie. It went to voicemail. He didn’t know what to say, so he hung up. They’d need to talk about this, but it wasn’t something to be covered in a message.

Hours later, Trevor was back in his driveway, but there was no sign of Callie’s car. He let himself into the house and yelled for the kids.

Hannah stuck her head around the corner from the kitchen. “Dinner is almost ready.”

Trevor made his way to the kitchen. “Smells good. What is it?”

“Chicken on the grill and fried potatoes,” she said, pride spilling across her face.

“You cooked on the grill by yourself?”

She rolled her eyes. “Callie showed me how. I’m not an idiot. I’m fifteen. If you trust me to cook on the stove, you can trust me to cook on the grill.”

She was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. It would be too close to admitting she was growing up. “Is Callie coming for dinner?”

“No. She stopped by and asked about finals, but she said she was meeting friends for dinner.”

He nodded and hoped Callie really did have plans and wasn’t just avoiding him. When Hannah left the room to call Evan, he snapped a picture of the grilled chicken and sent it to Callie with the message,

Thanks for teaching Hannah how to work the grill.

Bubbles popped on his screen immediately.

No problem.

At least she wasn’t totally avoiding him.

We should probably talk.

No immediate bubbles this time. Evan stomped down the stairs, and both kids surrounded him and began filling their plates. Trevor helped himself and as he sat to eat, his phone buzzed with a message.

I’m sorry.

Trevor stared at the phone a minute. Then he stood and told the kids, “I’ll be right back.”

He hated the thought of Callie being upset or worrying about the kiss, so when he got to the back patio, he called her.

She answered on the second ring. “Hi.”

“Got a minute?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you. Especially while we were in Lisa’s bedroom. Looking over all the good memories the two of you shared. It was a bad move. I don’t know what I was thinking. We should probably forget it happened.”

She was rambling, but Trevor heard the real worry. He didn’t want to forget the kiss, but he wouldn’t push her into something she didn’t want. “It’s your call, Callie. We did nothing wrong.”

“It’s complicated. You have a whole new life you’re figuring out.”

She was right, but her answers didn’t sit well with him. “I don’t want to screw this up,” she whispered, so quiet he almost missed it.

“We’re not going anywhere.” He knew then that she was afraid of messing up this shaky new family dynamic every bit as much as he was. “Enjoy your night with your friends. See you tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

He disconnected, not feeling any better.

Back at the dinner table, Hannah said, “Grandma called today.”

“Yeah?” Trevor prompted as he cut into his chicken.

“She wants us to come visit when school is over.”

Trevor set his silverware down and looked at the kids.

“I think it’ll be fun. And it’s a good idea. They really miss Mom.”

Trevor glanced at Evan. “You okay with that?”

“Sure. As long as it’s only for a week or whatever. You said I could work with you this summer.”

“I have plenty of work for you. I’ll have to look at my schedule and see when I can drive you down.”

“She said she’d come and get us,” Hannah said.

“What about your band camp?”

“We have two weeks off after school lets out before it starts.”

Trevor nodded and dug into his dinner. Hannah was turning into a really good cook. He’d miss her cooking while she was gone. He’d quickly gotten used to her meals. “Okay. But maybe you can make some extra dinners and stick them in the freezer,” he said with a smile.

Hannah rolled her eyes again. “How did you manage to live years on your own without me cooking for you?”

“If you don’t want me to get spoiled, don’t be so good at this.”

“She’s not good at everything. Remember the roast thing?” Evan began making gagging noises.

“Everyone is entitled to a few mistakes,” Hannah rebutted.

Trevor sat back and enjoyed the sounds of his kids and wondered how he’d lived so long without them on a daily basis.

For the next week, Callie and Trevor fell into a routine of spending every evening together with the kids. They had dinner and helped the kids study for upcoming finals, and then they watched TV together. Every night when she went back to her place, her chest tightened. She hated walking away from the house.

She’d lived alone for decades. It was how she’d chosen to live. But lately, it was different. She’d been feeling lonely, and she didn’t like it. The kids were gearing up for finals, which meant a crazier-than-usual schedule. Tonight, as they settled in to watch a zombie show, Hannah flounced on the loveseat across from where Callie and Trevor sat.

“Dad, would you please tell Evan that he has to drive me to school tomorrow?”

“Dude, you know that’s the deal with getting the car.”

“She has a first-period test tomorrow. I don’t have to be there until eleven. That’s not fair.”

Trevor looked back and forth between the kids. “I’ll drop you off.”

“Don’t you have breakfast with your friends?” Callie asked.

“I can skip.”

“I’ll take her to school. Go hang out with your friends.”

“You sure?” Trevor asked.

“I’m always here to help out. No big deal.” She leaned over to Hannah. “Just knock when you’re ready to go. If we leave early enough, we can have time to stop for doughnuts.”

Hannah’s face brightened. “Thanks.”

Evan said, “Bring some back for me?”

Trevor smiled. “I think that’s Callie’s payback for someone who doesn’t want to get up early.”

Callie shoved Trevor’s leg. “I said nothing like that. Of course I’ll bring some back. I don’t play favorites.”

They all laughed and started the show, talking over one another to guess what would happen next. Callie felt so at home, it was a constant reminder that she’d made the right decision in telling Trevor that they should forget they kissed.

Except when he smiled like he was now, like he had no cares in the world, she wanted to sit on his lap and toy with his mouth and share in that joy. But she ignored all of those feelings for the safe ones.

After the show ended, she went home. She opened the door and was met with a wall of heat. What the heck? She walked to the other end of the little house and checked her air conditioner. She had one big window unit that did a decent job of cooling the whole place. Except right now, it wasn’t running. She turned all the dials and even took to smacking it.

It was good and dead. Damn. Going from room to room, she opened all the windows and prayed for a cross breeze. She took a cool shower, but by the time she crawled into bed, her skin felt clammy again. She lay on the mattress and tossed and turned. But sleep wouldn’t come.

It made no sense, really. She’d traveled all over the world and had slept in many uncomfortable places. She’d lived in heat and rain and humidity, and she’d always managed to sleep. Something about being in her own bed messed with her sense of everything. She was supposed to be comfortable here. It was one of the reasons that she loved coming home.

After an hour of tossing and turning, she grabbed her pillow and phone and went back to the house. She had her key, but she didn’t want to just walk in without warning. Standing at the back door, she texted Trevor.

Still up?

Yeah. What’d you need?

My AC went out. Can I sleep in the guest room?

While she waited for an answer, the door in front of her opened and Trevor almost crashed into her. He was shirtless, wearing low-slung sleep pants. Seeing him like that reminded her of the kiss she was supposed to forget. “You have a key,” he said.

“I know. But I didn’t want to just stroll in. You’re entitled to some privacy. What if you were walking around naked or something?”

His chuckle was low and made her skin tingle. “I have kids. Privacy went out the window when they were born. Besides, so what if I was walking around naked?”

Her skin flushed warm as she tried not to picture him naked.

He stepped back from the door to allow her to come in. The cool air washed over her skin, and her nipples hardened. Totally just from the air-conditioning . She hugged her pillow to her chest. “Thanks. I’ll go get a new unit tomorrow.”

“You can stay as long as you want. We have the space.” He closed and locked the door behind her. “You need anything for the bed?”

She smiled and knew it was a little too brightly. “Nope. I have my pillow. The blanket on the bed will be fine. Thanks again.”

Why was she acting so goofy? When Lisa had been alive, Callie had spent the night all the time. Then again, she’d never planted a kiss on Lisa.

Trevor smiled and shook his head. “Good night, Callie.” Then he walked back to his room, safely on the first floor away from her rambling and uncontrollable lips.

Callie slept soundly, and with the exception of mildly erotic dreams that she knew she shouldn’t have had, she woke well-rested. Trevor was already gone by the time she rose to go back to her place and dress. She knocked on Hannah’s door before leaving to make sure she was awake.

At her house, she dressed quickly. The humidity hadn’t lessened overnight. The air was thick with moisture. It was uncomfortable for her, but she worried about her equipment. Throwing things in a bag, she took them back to Trevor’s.

Trevor’s.

Huh. That was a first. She hadn’t thought of it as Lisa’s house. And it felt good. While she waited in the kitchen for Hannah to get ready, she searched online for a new window air conditioner. The prices made her choke. The unit she was using had been in storage when she’d moved in, so she hadn’t needed to buy one. It was probably really old, but it had worked fine.

The prices angered her because she knew that the current heat wave allowed stores to jack up the prices because people were desperate. Maybe Trevor knew someone who could get her a deal. She made a note to text him about it later.

Hannah came down with a bag much smaller than her usual backpack.

“Traveling light today?”

“I only have two exams.”

“How are you getting home?” Callie asked.

Hannah shrugged. “Probably the bus. Unless I wait for Evan to finish his test, but that means I’ll be hanging at school for at least an extra hour.”

Callie grabbed her keys. “Call me when you’re done. I’m working from home.”

“Thanks. Mom never picked me up in the middle of the day.”

“She had to work.”

“I know. But it’s nice having you around.”

“I like being around.”

Trevor sat at Sunny’s Diner drinking coffee with his friends. He’d already assured them all that things were going well with the kids. His house was on the market, and with a little luck, it would sell soon.

“How are things with Callie?” Nina asked.

“Fine,” he answered stiffly and gave her a warning look.

But Nina wasn’t about to let a look stifle her. “Just fine? Nothing going on?”

He sighed. “We’re friends. She’s helping me with the kids. Would you ask me questions like this if it were Tess helping me?”

Tess smiled and set down her cup. “We’ve never had any chemistry. From what we all saw, you and Callie have it in spades.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, so he drank more coffee.

“Don’t mess things up,” Tess said. “The kids depend on her and if she leaves, they’ll be devastated.”

“She wouldn’t leave the kids.” He was a hundred percent sure about that. He saw the love she had for them every day.

Nina shifted in her seat. “So does that mean you’re pursuing something?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” He looked around the table at his friends. These people had his back. They had for years. If anyone could help him navigate the muddied waters of his current situation, it would be them. “She kissed me.”

“And?” Evelyn asked, leaning forward, suddenly interested in the conversation at his end of the table.

“Then she said we should forget it happened.”

Owen scoffed. “Dude. Are you so out of practice you don’t know how to kiss?”

He shot Owen a dirty look. “I can kiss just fine. It was a damn good kiss.”

“But it’s complicated,” Tess supplied.

“Understatement of the year.”

“What are you going to do?” Nina asked.

“Hell if I know.” As if on cue, his phone buzzed with a text from Callie. She wanted to know about an air conditioner. His friends’ staring distracted him, so he couldn’t quite grasp what she wanted.

“Ooo…That’s Callie, isn’t it?” Evelyn sang.

He nodded. “Her AC went out last night.” He looked back at his screen. Callie continued in another text that he actually had to scroll through. She wrote a text the same way she talked, and it made him dizzy.

He stood and tossed some bills on the table. “I need to take care of this.”

Tess reached out and touched his arm. “Call if you need anything.”

“And have juicier details for breakfast next time,” Evelyn called after him as he walked out the door.

Instead of reading the long text, he called Callie.

“Hello.”

“What do you need to know about the AC?”

She sighed. “Didn’t you read my text?”

“No. It would take you a minute to explain this, but probably five for me to wade through that thing you call a text. By the way, a text is supposed to be short.”

“Whatever.”

He could picture her wrinkling her nose and sticking her tongue out at him, and he smiled as if she were standing in front of him.

“I looked online before leaving the house this morning, and after dropping Hannah off, I went to two different stores. These people are crazy with what they want to charge. I thought maybe you might know someone who could get me a deal.”

At least she hadn’t wasted her money.

“I don’t know if I can get one cheap. I’ll look around.”

“The weather says it’s going to stay in the nineties all week. It’s not dropping, so I kind of need to get one now.”

“No, you don’t. It doesn’t make sense to get screwed on the price because they have you over a barrel. Just stay at the house.”

“That’s a generous offer, but I need to work.”

“So?”

“My darkroom is in my spare room.”

He hadn’t thought about her developing her pictures. He hadn’t walked through the coach house when he’d been there. “I didn’t know you developed pictures.”

“Most of what I do for jobs is digital, but sometimes, I want the feel of film, you know?”

No, he had no idea, but she was passionate about it. “Set up in the basement. It’s cool and dark down there.”

“I can’t take over your space, Trevor.”

He sighed again and rubbed a hand over his face. “You’re picking up my kids and dropping them off. Helping with homework. The least I can do is make sure you’re comfortable. Use whatever space you need.”

“But—”

“But nothing. Let me do this for you. It’ll give me time to look around and decide whether it makes more sense to get another window unit or invest in forced heat and air for the coach house.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Just so I can finish the job I’m working on now. A couple days—tops.”

“Like I said last night, stay as long as you need.” His offer was heartfelt, but in the back of his mind, he knew he was only adding to the complexity of their situation.

“Thanks again.”

“It’s the least I can do.” He drove to the job. Even though he’d be spending his day in a space that was dungeon-like, he whistled as he entered the job site. Complicated or not, he liked having Callie in his life.

They made it. The Booths had been borderline homicidal for the last week. The kids had been uptight about finals. Trevor’s job had hit snags. Callie had done her best to stop anyone from lashing out unnecessarily.

But they’d done it. They ordered in for a celebratory dinner. Callie sat at the table and listened to the kids laugh while Trevor tried to nag them about packing for their trip to see their grandparents. Callie couldn’t imagine them being gone. Granted, it was only going to be a week, and she’d often traveled for at least that long. But it was different when she was the one being left behind.

Although she had work to do and jobs to pitch, she hadn’t had much free time since Lisa’s death. She and Trevor had become close. Every night after the kids went to bed, they stayed up and watched TV or talked about their days. She loved hearing the crazy stories from Trevor’s job sites. She’d thought about asking if she could tag along one day to take pictures. She had little doubt she could find a fascinating story.

Trevor waved a hand in front of her face. “Where’d you go?”

She blinked. “Sorry. Just thinking.” She pointed at Hannah and Evan. “With them gone, it’ll be so quiet. And the free time…”

“I didn’t even think about those perks,” Trevor continued, picking up on her teasing tone. “I could walk around naked all the time.”

Evan groaned, and Hannah said, “Eww, gross.”

Callie and Trevor laughed.

But the image stayed in her head. The reality of the kids’ leaving tugged at her. Not only would she miss them, she’d miss this—the whole family experience.

And her alone time with Trevor.

Maybe the kids’ being gone was a blessing. She wouldn’t feel obligated to be here, so she could go out, meet people, socialize with someone other than Trevor, who was not her husband. Or boyfriend. Or anything, really.

The kids rambled on about what they might get to do at their grandparents’ house, and Trevor just nodded at their excitement.

“Not to burst your bubble, guys, but I grew up there. Although things have probably changed, it’s about as boring as it gets. The town has one movie theater and a couple of restaurants. There’s not much to do for fun.”

Hannah sighed with a sweet smile on her face. “But Grandma and Grandpa moved farther out from town. They’re surrounded by farms.”

“Ugh. That’s even worse.” Callie hated that damn town. It was so confining.

Hannah laughed again. “That’s because you don’t like the peace and quiet of nature.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but the girl was right. If Callie had her choice of assignments, she always chose urban areas. “Well, I hope you have a great time.”

She stood and began cleaning their dinner mess. Trevor told the kids to go pack. Evan and Hannah ran upstairs, arguing over how much they could take.

Trevor joined Callie at the sink where she washed dishes. “You don’t have to do that. Evan will be back.”

She shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

He leaned against the counter and studied her. “What’re you thinking about? Something’s been bugging you all night.”

“I don’t know. My life feels a little unsettled right now.”

“Work?”

“That’s part of it. It’s like I’ve gotten used to the routine of being here with you and the kids, and I’ve done some local work, but I need to pitch new ideas and get steady work. But at the same time, they’re going to be gone and it messes with the routine I’ve had since…”

She realized she was babbling and clamped her mouth shut. Resting her forearms on the edge of the sink, she leaned forward and prayed for clarity. Which was not likely to come as long as Trevor was standing so close and had been talking about walking around naked . Lord, what is wrong with me?

His hand landed on her shoulder, and he squeezed before rubbing her back. “I’m a shitty friend.”

She looked at him over her shoulder. “Huh?”

“I’ve been leaning on you so much, and I never stopped to even ask how you were doing, how you’re holding up. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. We’ve been leaning on each other. Lisa’s death just has me thinking about my life and where I want to go from here. Being with the kids is a reminder of things I’ve missed out on.”

“Regrets?”

“Not really. I never thought of myself as mother material. The crying and diapers and sticky fingers. Not my thing.” She straightened and turned so she stood hip to hip with Trevor. “But the good parts. Like dinner tonight. The bickering banter and teasing. The family thing. I never considered it. At bare minimum, I took it for granted.”

“You have family here. Always.”

She appreciated his words, but she still felt itchy. “It’s more than that. It’s having someone to lean on, share my life with. I’ve been traveling and moving around for so long. When I came back, Lisa was my family connection. But these past weeks, hanging out with you, talking about our days… It’s been a reminder of what I don’t have.”

Trevor didn’t say anything, but he wrapped his heavy arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. It wasn’t sexual or flirtatious, but it made her blood race all the same.

“We’re packed, Dad,” Hannah yelled from the top of the stairs. “Can we go for ice cream?”

Trevor moved away from her slowly, allowing his arm to caress the entire span of her shoulders. “What do you say? Ice cream?” he asked her.

“Who can say no to double chocolate fudge brownie?”

His face contorted. “How do you still have your teeth? Mine hurt just thinking about how sweet that is.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing.” She winked and pushed off the counter.

The look he gave seared into her, letting her know that he’d been thinking about what he’d been missing, too.