Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

T revor stared up at Callie’s window. When he’d come up with this crazy idea, he hadn’t considered how stupid he would feel carrying it out. Luckily, none of his neighbors had yelled at him yet. He should’ve chosen another song. Something more upbeat. Something shorter.

Being in a band had been easy. He’d never sung solo, except when he was screwing around at home. Pouring his heart into a song for the woman he loved was no joke.

When she disappeared from the window, he almost stopped—gave up—but the musician in him continued, despite the worry and fear.

Her door opened as he finished the final chords of the song. She leaned against the doorjamb, arms crossed, wearing a pair of shorts and an old T-shirt that had been one of his. Her wet hair clung to the front of the shirt, covering the name of the band whose concert he’d attended years ago. That shirt had never looked so good. He stood and set his guitar on the patio chair. She said nothing.

He wanted to go to her, but his feet were stuck, his legs frozen in place. “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming home?”

“My flight was late, and you’re usually in bed early.”

“I would’ve picked you up.”

“How’d you know I was here?”

“I saw some lights on and heard the air conditioner.” Should he admit that he came out every night and looked for signs of her being home?

She hitched a thumb toward her second floor. “Thanks for the skylight. I wasn’t serious about that, you know.”

“Don’t you like it?”

“I love it.”

Silence stretched between them for a moment, hanging on the weight of the words she’d spoken. Love. He’d installed the skylight because of love. He hoped she knew that.

“The song was pretty damn good, too.”

“Words don’t always work for me, but music and building are things I’m good at.”

“You express yourself differently. I get it.”

Did she? Did she understand how it was killing him to not rush to her and hold her?

“Why didn’t you come over when you got home?” he asked.

“I was still sorting things out.” She pushed away from the door and walked barefoot across the grass toward him.

“Did you figure it out?”

She nodded slowly. “I think so.”

Air whooshed from his lungs. He couldn’t read her expression, didn’t know if she planned on dumping his dumb ass for good, but he wouldn’t go down without a fight.

She stopped about a foot away from him. Close enough to touch, and he wanted to reach for her.

“Did you mean it?” she asked.

“Mean what?”

“The lyrics. The song. Do you believe in us? That we have what it takes to last as long as we have patience?”

“I do. For the first time in a lot of years, I’m able to picture a future with someone. You.”

“I want us to work, Trevor. We’re not kids anymore. When things get tough, we should be able to turn to each other, to have someone to count on. I thought we could be that for each other.”

“That’s what I want, too.”

“But you’re not showing that. You keep everything bottled up and under such tight control, I don’t know what to expect. I want you to trust me enough to lean on me, to let me help.”

“You already do so much?—”

“The small, meaningless stuff. You hang on to every ounce of control, and I can’t live like that.”

“I’m afraid to dump too much on you. I did that to Lisa. She took care of everything, and I thought I knew, but I didn’t. Not until it was too late. I don’t want to make that mistake again. I don’t want to be a burden.”

Callie stepped closer and sat on the step, tugging his hand so he would join her. The small contact set his skin on fire. He wanted to touch her and not stop. But once he sat, she released his fingers and tucked her hands between her knees.

“You have to trust that I’ll tell you if it’s too much. Lisa loved being in charge. She lived for being a mom and running everyone’s lives. She thrived on it.” Callie turned to face him. “On the weekends when you had the kids, she was lost. We used to do movie night, but she spent most of the time doing laundry and trying to feed me.”

“She shouldn’t have had to shoulder it all.”

“She chose to, Trevor. She could’ve asked you to step up and do more, but she didn’t. And now you’re doing the same thing.”

“I’m just trying to be a good father.”

“But you don’t have to do it alone.”

“I don’t want to.”

She took his hand, and for the first time in this conversation, he felt hopeful. “Then let me in. Trust me to take on some of the burden, to be your partner.”

“It seems unfair.”

“It’s not. If you ask too much, I’ll tell you to back off.”

“I want to try. I’ve missed you so much for the past two weeks.” With his free hand, he ran fingers through her hair. “What do you get out of this deal? It seems a little one-sided.”

“I get a partner, someone to count on, just like you do. More importantly, I get family and a place to call home. I haven’t had either in a really long time.”

Trevor couldn’t wait any longer. He leaned over and brushed his lips against hers, needing to taste her, show her how much he’d missed her. When his tongue touched hers, he vibrated with need. He wanted to scoop her up, strip her bare, and slide into her forever.

Forever. The word buzzed through his mind, and a new need took over. He pulled back and waited for her eyes to reopen. Cradling her face, he said, “I love you, Callie. I don’t want you to run away anymore. You belong here—with us, your family.”

Her eyes filled, and his heart lurched again. He’d only considered his need to say the words, not whether she was prepared to hear them.

“I love you, too,” she whispered. “But I don’t run away.”

A laugh burst from his chest, and he held her close. “Oh, honey, yeah you do. You’ve been running almost as long as I’ve known you. The first time you ran was when I proposed to Lisa.”

“I thought I was losing my best friend.”

“I’m no shrink, but I can see that you always run when you think you’re going to be left. Like you want to be the one to do the leaving.”

She slid away and looked at him. “And yet you want to be with me?”

He wrapped an arm around her waist, drawing her close again. He had no intention of ever letting her go. “Well, since I don’t plan on leaving, it seems safe. Besides, something Hannah said the other day reminded me of Lisa’s words years ago. ‘Callie runs, but she always comes home.’” He kissed her temple. “I’m patient. I’m strong enough to stand and wait, as long as you always come back to me.”

“I think I’m done running.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded against his chest. “Pretty sure. I was kind of miserable in Italy, which is a travesty.” After another tight squeeze, she slid away again. “I didn’t take the job. At least not what they offered. I’m going to go to Great Britain for a couple weeks. I might do some tours later, but I won’t be traveling all the time.”

Trevor’s heart lifted. She planned to stay with them, plant some roots.

A noise behind them caught Trevor’s attention. “Hey, is that Callie?” Evan called from the kitchen.

“Yeah,” she answered, taking Trevor’s hand. “Making out with your kids as an audience probably isn’t a good idea, huh?”

He smiled, and Evan came out onto the deck. “Why are you guys sitting out here in the dark?”

“We were thinking about running naked in the yard to celebrate summer,” Callie answered.

“Ew. Not an image I need to have.”

Callie doubled over with laughter. When she straightened, she said, “Sometimes you guys are so easy.”

Evan came to the top of the steps. “I’m sorry for the trouble I caused between you and Dad.”

Callie’s forehead wrinkled. “That wasn’t your fault.”

“Felt like it was.”

“It wasn’t. You have nothing to apologize to me for.”

“Thanks for getting me that night. Not sure if I said it before you left.”

“It’s okay. Part of the job.”

Warmth spread through Trevor because she was right. She’d been acting as a parent to his children, but he kept trying to draw boundary lines. It was time to erase those lines.

“Why don’t you go tell Hannah that Callie is back? She’ll be excited.” Evan nodded and took off into the house. They heard his yell from where they sat.

Trevor groaned as he pulled Callie to stand. “Not quite what I had in mind.” He put an arm around her and led her up the stairs. “I owe you another apology.”

“What for?”

“You’ve been taking care of the kids for a long time. From what I can tell, even before Lisa died, and I dismissed it. I’m sorry. In my effort to try to do it all, I neglected to notice—really pay attention to—how much you do and how much they already count on you. Bad news for you, though.”

“Why?”

He held the back door open for her. “Because now we’re never going to let you go.”

She stretched up and kissed his cheek. “That’s good, because I love you. All of you.”

He’d never tire of hearing that.

Trevor dragged himself in from a long day at work. Evan trudged behind him. He gave his son credit. He’d been working every day, keeping up with Trevor and paying attention to almost everything Trevor tried to teach him. Of course, there were times when Evan acted as if he knew what he was doing, or maybe he thought he could figure it out on his own, and it inevitably blew up in his face. Trevor remembered what it was like to be an apprentice, to want to prove yourself. But for the most part, the boy worked hard.

In the kitchen, he poured them both a cold glass of water. “I’m proud of you. You’ve been doing a great job.”

“Thanks.” His son ducked his head at the praise. Trevor gulped the water. “I’ll admit you lasted way longer than I thought you would.”

Evan lifted his head and looked at him with narrowed eyes. “Nice to know you had so little faith in me.”

“It’s not that. I brought you to the job because I hoped to scare you off. Your mother and I always expected you would go to college. To be better than me.”

Evan lifted a shoulder. “I like working construction.”

Trevor sighed. He believed Evan, because he saw the eagerness on his son’s face when they were challenged on the job and he was really invested in learning. He expressed way more interest there than he ever did in school.

“I guess college doesn’t have to be a requirement. You can always decide to go later, right?”

Evan huffed. “Yeah, sure.”

“I’m serious. I’m not going to pressure you now, but I want you to keep your options open.”

“I guess I can do that.”

“Good. Now go shower. I have a meeting to get to.” Evan set his glass in the sink. “Do you even need meetings anymore?”

Trevor was still getting used to his kids asking about his addiction openly. “Maybe not need . But if you keep in touch with the things that are important, you’re not out of practice when you do need them.”

Evan nodded, satisfied with the answer, and left the room.

Less than an hour later, he was heading to his AA meeting, and Hannah sidelined him at the door.

“Can we talk for a minute?”

“One minute. I’m on my way to a meeting.”

“I’ll talk fast.” She took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about school, and I want to do a semester abroad next semester. The deadline to apply is in like a week, so I know I should’ve started sooner, but I just found out about it.”

“A semester? Like six months? Where?”

“There are a lot of options, but I’m thinking about maybe Korea?” The hesitation in her voice told him she knew the likelihood of him agreeing was slim.

“No.”

“But, Dad. You didn’t even consider it.”

“I’m not sending my daughter halfway around the world to a place that might start a war with its other half.”

She huffed. “How about Spain, then? Spain is totally safe.”

“Nothing is totally safe when you’re on your own, thousands of miles away.”

“I wouldn’t be alone. I’d be with a host family.”

“Oh yeah. I’m going to send you to live with strangers in a strange place. Not gonna happen.”

“But—”

“I have to go to my meeting.” He kissed the top of her head, even as she pulled away with crossed arms. He’d gotten hip to how Hannah played things. She often tried to ask for permission when he was distracted or leaving. Asking for money to hang out with friends didn’t hold a candle to asking to move to the other side of the planet.

But maybe when she was done being mad at him, they could talk about options for traveling for school when she was older, like in college. As he climbed into his truck, he thought that maybe he was getting a handle on this parenting thing.

Callie had a great day taking photos in the city of people and places. She’d begun to think about maybe putting together a gallery show of her pictures. She hadn’t done one in years

—more years than she’d like to consider—since before she began doing travel photography regularly. She’d taken them on film and figured tonight might be a good time to give Hannah a lesson in developing.

She didn’t know how interested Hannah was in photography or if her interest was mostly in spending extra alone time with Callie, but she’d take it. When she pulled up to the house, Trevor’s truck was already gone. Damn. She’d hoped to catch him before his meeting. They’d missed each other this morning, and she wanted to talk to him about her upcoming trip to Great Britain. She’d meant to talk to him last night, but as usual, Trevor had distracted her with other things.

Gathering her camera bag, she climbed from her car and went into the house. “Hannah?” she called.

Hannah came flying down the stairs. “Good. You’re here.”

“What’s going on?” Callie tamped down her worry. If it was something bad, they would’ve called her.

“I need your help with Dad. He’s being so…overbearing. He won’t listen. He didn’t even pretend to consider it.”

Callie shook her head to try to follow. “Consider what?”

Evan passed behind his sister. “She wants to go live in Korea for a year.”

“What?” Callie asked.

Hannah huffed. “I want to do a semester abroad next semester. The deadline to apply is in a week. I mentioned Korea, but when he talked about me going someplace unsafe, I suggested Spain. He still wouldn’t listen.” She tugged Callie’s hand. “You have to talk him.”

“I don’t know, Hannah. You’re young to be that far from home for so long. It’s a huge decision to make with less than a week’s notice.”

“But you travel all the time. You can tell him it’s safe.”

“I can’t say that. I don’t know anything about the program you’re interested in. I have no idea what kind of oversight there is. I didn’t start traveling around the world until I was an adult. And if that travel has taught me nothing else, it’s that the world is a very unsafe place.”

“Seriously? You’re not going to help?”

“I agree with your dad on this one. Especially since we don’t have time to check out the program. Maybe another year after we’ve investigated all the options.”

“I can’t believe this! You’re supposed to be on my side.” Hannah turned and stomped off.

Callie was flabbergasted. Hannah’s barb shot right through her. She was on Hannah’s side.

Evan came from the kitchen with an apple in his hand. “Looks like you’re more of a mom than our friend now, huh? That sucks.”

Then he walked away.

Callie had no idea what to do. She was trying to be a role model for them, an adult they could count on, someone Trevor could lean on. But she was going to make them hate her. And that was something she couldn’t handle.

She slipped out the back door to her place. Every time she tried to make a decision in the best interest of the kids, she screwed it up. She had no idea what she was doing. There was a reason she wasn’t a mother.

Leaving her camera bag on the counter, she went upstairs, sat on her bed, and stared at her closet. Her suitcase was right there. It would take her less than thirty minutes to pack and get a ticket to London. She could just go early. By the time she finished the job, things here would be settled. All decisions would be firmly up to Trevor and she wouldn’t have to take the heat for anything.

She grabbed her bag and flipped it open on her bed. As soon as she turned back to the closet to pick out clothes, Trevor’s words rang in her head: you always run when you think you’re going to be left.

Damn it. She hated when he was right. She did run. But she’d also told him she was done running. Time to follow through.

“Callie?” Trevor called from the stairs.

“Up here,” she answered as she scooped her suitcase back up.

He stopped abruptly when he reached her room. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” She tucked her bag back in the closet.

“Callie.”

Turning to face him, she took a deep breath. “Just a little freak-out. Old habits, you know.”

Concern filled his face. “What happened?”

“Nothing really.”

“It must’ve been something to make you want to run.”

She sighed and sank onto her bed. “Hannah came to me all like, ‘Dad won’t listen. You have to talk to him.’ Then she told me it was about going to the other side of the world and I was like, ‘No way.’ She got mad and stomped off. That was bad enough, but then Evan looked at me and said I’m not their friend anymore.”

Trevor sat beside her and laughed. Actually laughed.

“I don’t see what’s so funny.”

“Welcome to the world of parenting. Hannah tried a workaround and got mad because it didn’t get her what she wanted. Do you have any idea how often she tried to play me and Lisa against each other? As far as what Evan said, he’s probably right, but I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. If you’re friends with them, it’s harder to parent.”

There was that word again. Parent . He was right. She had wanted to be all in on this family thing, including the tough parts of parenting.

She laced her fingers in his and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Thanks. I needed to hear that.”

“What do you think about Hannah? Do you really think it’s a bad idea for her to study abroad for a year, or did you just say that to have my back?”

“Do you think I’d not give my honest opinion?” She chuckled.

“I guess not.”

“She’s so young. The world is a scary place. I did tell her maybe later, after we have a chance to investigate the program and check out all the options. She didn’t want to hear that, either.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay with sending her that far away.” A sudden thought struck Callie. “What about if you didn’t have to send her alone?”

“I’m pretty sure most places would frown on a dad tagging along for her semester.”

Callie straightened. “No, I’m talking about taking her with me to England when I go. It’ll be for a few weeks, and she might miss the beginning of the school year, but the experience would be good for her. It would give her the taste of traveling she wants. You wouldn’t have to worry about her safety because she’d be with me.”

Trevor studied her a minute. The silence nearly broke her. Maybe he didn’t trust her to be alone with Hannah out of the country.

“I’d still worry. About both of you. But we can talk about it.”

Callie wrapped her arms around him. Every time she thought she knew what to expect from him, he surprised her. “I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you, too.”

Three weeks later, Callie was once again packing her suitcases. It was time for her trip to Great Britain, but this time, she looked forward to the work because she had her very own assistant. Hannah was joining her for the two-week tour. Callie had been surprised when Trevor agreed, because Hannah would miss the first day of school orientation.

She’d never seen Hannah so excited, though. She’d done nothing but talk about all the places she wanted to visit. Luckily, since Callie was there to take tourist photos, she was getting paid to take Hannah on a tour. It was the best of both worlds.

Trevor was tense at the thought of Hannah being so far away, but Callie understood that was normal parental worry. The important thing was that he trusted Callie to take his daughter.

Callie hauled her bags over to the house. They were all going to have dinner together tonight. Then Trevor would drive them to the airport in the morning. Evan would drive himself to the job site to get to work. Callie smiled. Trevor had been true to his word. Over the last few weeks, he’d really worked on being less controlling.

Their family wasn’t perfect, but they fit together well. Callie was insanely happy.

At least until she walked through the back door of the house and heard the one voice that had the ability to always ruin her good mood. What the hell is Diane doing here?

Callie froze and although it was juvenile, she eavesdropped.

“How can you trust that woman to take Hannah thousands of miles away? She’s not her mother.”

“Hannah is well aware of who her mother was. We all are, including Callie. But she’s part of their lives. She’s not going anywhere.”

“You don’t understand the influence she can have, Trevor.”

Callie’s stomach turned. God, why would Diane do this to her? She knew Diane didn’t like her, but to try to ruin her relationship with Trevor and the kids… Straightening her shoulders, she rolled her bags through the kitchen and into the living room. Diane and Trevor sat across from each other. Both of them shut their mouths at her entrance.

“Hi,” she said, cautiously.

“Hey,” Trevor said. He rose and took her bags from her, leaving her with nothing to cling to. He tucked them in the corner and came back to her. Taking her hand, he pulled her to the couch.

“What’s going on?”

“Diane drove here to talk to me about Hannah going on the trip with you.”

Callie pressed her lips together. She didn’t want to spend her last night in Chicago fighting with Diane. Plus, why the hell should she have to?

Diane glared at her.

“Forgive me for being rude, Diane, but it’s none of your business. Trevor has given Hannah permission to take this trip, and that’s all that matters.”

Trevor laid a hand on Callie’s thigh, and her entire body tensed. Please don’t change your mind to appease this woman.

“Actually, Diane, this was a decision Callie and I made together. I told you weeks ago that we’re a couple.”

He had? He hadn’t said anything to Callie about it.

“So she gets more of a vote on my grandchildren’s lives than I do?”

“Callie and I are in love. We’re a couple. We’re raising the kids together. If you can’t accept that, I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t want to keep the kids from you, but I won’t have you bad-mouthing Callie to them. They love her. So do I. She’s not going anywhere.”

Diane sniffed. “Except to Europe.”

“It’s a two-week trip, Diane. It’s work for me, but it will be a great experience for Hannah,” Callie said. She hoped simple logic would help.

“This time it’s two weeks. What about the next trip? What about when you go to dangerous locations and Hannah thinks it will be fun?”

Callie clenched her jaw. Logic wasn’t helping. She should’ve known better.

Trevor took her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. “I trust Callie to make positive, safe decisions for the kids. We talk through things together. If there’s another trip Hannah wants to take with Callie, we’ll discuss it.”

Callie was stunned. Words completely left her. Trevor was not only standing his ground with Diane, but he was defending Callie to her.

Diane’s face grew pink. “It seems as though she already has her hooks in you, and no matter what I say, you won’t listen.”

“Not when it comes to my relationship or what I allow the kids to do.”

Diane stood. “Would it be all right for me to say goodbye to the children?”

“Of course. Like I said before, I want you to be part of their lives, but if you want a relationship with them, you’ll have to accept Callie. We’re a package deal.”

Diane simply looked from Trevor to her and then turned to go upstairs to see the kids.

Callie’s stomach flipped. As much as she didn’t like Diane, she didn’t want to cause a rift between the kids and their grandparents. They sat in silence until Diane came back. Callie still wasn’t sure what to say. Trevor walked Diane to the door and locked up. Callie stood and waited for him to come back. Simply having Diane out of the house eased the tension in her. When he neared, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “So I have my hooks in you, huh?”

“Oh, yeah. Stuck deep, too.”

She laughed and pressed closer to him. “Thank you for that.”

“For what?”

“For standing up to Diane. For making me and the kids a priority. For explaining that we’re a team, even if she doesn’t want to accept it.”

“I know I avoided fighting with her before, mostly because I want the kids to know their grandparents, but they don’t get to make rules for my life. This is our family.”

Those were the best words to hear. Callie loved having a family of her own.

***