Chapter 10

Graham knew there was something behind Ryan's obstinate request. And it was more than disliking Dave. He'd rowed back from his assertion that his mum was rushing it, since a year, in anyone's estimation wasn't particularly fast. Ryan's mum was a woman of the world. She would know if someone was taking her for a ride or not. And Dave, if there was a more placid, laid-back man who wanted to please the woman he loved, then Graham hadn't met him.

‘I told you. Unless you give me the real reason, I'm afraid I won't walk away.' If Graham started ditching clients for no good reason, his good reputation would soon be in tatters. The whole point of this job was wanting to work with people, understand them, get to know what made them tick, their weaknesses, shine a light on their strengths. And Graham, if he said so himself, thought he was pretty bloody good at it. And he was buggered if he was going to let Ryan mess that up.

‘I don't trust him,' Ryan said, with a tone of desperation.

‘I'm really sorry, but you don't know him. How on earth can you make a judgement about trusting him, his motives, without knowing him. You've met him what, once, twice, and he's been, what, kind, generous, caring towards your mum? And so that means he's untrustworthy.' Graham shook his head. ‘I don't understand it. Or you.'

Ryan's phone rang, he checked it. ‘Sorry. I…' He stepped away, facing his back to Graham. ‘It's not a great time…' A pause. ‘Okay, if I can sort it quickly. Tell me what's wrong with it?' Pause. ‘Have you tried switching it off and on again? Okay, okay, I thought I'd ask. Right, go to the home screen. Hover over the app with your finger. Right. Then click on uninstall. An option. Right, yes. Do it.' A long pause. ‘So, it's stopped doing it now? Great. Amazing.' Pause. ‘Look, I can't talk. How's Matt? Away, right. I thought as much, why else would you call me for tech support. Joking!' He laughed. ‘Right. Must go. Love you. And love to Matt too.' A pause. ‘Mum's told you, has she? Right.' Very quietly he went on, ‘And? Right. Live and let live. Happy for her, are you? You and Matt too. Nice. Well, that's very magnanimous of you. Must go.' He ended the call then put the phone in his pocket, turned back. ‘Sorry. Technical emergency from Dad. Matt's away with a friend, so Dad was stuck with a phone that didn't work and no way to fix it.' Ryan rolled his eyes. ‘I should have got a job with Apple; I've owned practically all their products.' Ryan laughed nervously.

Graham laughed, hoping it would break the ice somewhat and encourage Ryan to open up about his reasons behind this request. ‘Android for me.' He shrugged, hoping phones, or something could be a shared conversation, some way to get back to the friendly, relaxedness it had felt when they met last time with Sam. ‘Have they met Dave?'

‘Love him. Mum brought him round to meet Dad and Matt. Which is so Mum to a tee. She's like the best ex-wife anyone could wish for. It's a bit creepy in fact, how cool she is with Dad. Him coming out, marrying Matt. She just took it all in her stride. Told me she still loves Dad, couldn't stop that, they spent twenty years together, raised two children. That doesn't just go away. It was just that…' He looked away. ‘What did she say? Something about people growing together or growing apart, and her and Dad had grown apart, but that was fine with her, if it meant they could live a better life separately.' Ryan huffed loudly. ‘Like that's a thing.'

‘Sounds very sensible to me.' Julia was clearly a very emotionally intelligent woman, and there was no way she'd miss any nefarious motives Dave might have.

‘Marriage is forever. Till death us do part. It doesn't say, until you grow apart, then wish each other well and move onto the next person, does it?' Ryan folded his arms and frowned.

‘No. But just because some marriages end, doesn't mean all marriages will. A few years ago, a few of my friends who'd married in their twenties, were now having problems, and some got divorced.'

‘See!' Ryan said triumphantly.

‘I've not finished yet.'

‘Sorry, go on.'

‘The ones who were having problems were able to see theirs more clearly. The couples who were fine, whether they were married or in a long-term relationship and as good as married, it showed them how lucky they were, how right they had things. Divorce isn't contagious, you know.'

Ryan huffed, shook his head.

‘You obviously love your parents. And you're happy for your dad and Matt.'

Ryan nodded.

‘So why can't you just be happy for your mum and Dave?'

Ryan said nothing.

‘If the money side worries you, speak to your mum about it. If they stay together it doesn't matter. If they split up, she's protected.'

‘I tried that. She wasn't listening.'

‘How did you try it? When did you suggest it? What did you say?'

‘I said had she thought of a prenup.'

‘When?'

‘When she and Dave arrived at my place. Dave was out getting drinks.'

Graham shook his head, could Ryan have done it any worse? ‘Timing is everything. She's brought her new partner to meet you for the first time, having kept him secret for a year. And the first thing you ask is has she thought about what happens if they divorce?'

Ryan's face fell.

‘Has the penny dropped?' Graham asked.

Ryan was staring at him, eyes wide and a look of sadness on his face.

‘Leave them be. Your mum isn't stupid. In fact, I'd say she probably has more emotional intelligence than you or your dad, but we won't go there today.'

‘It's a good job I'm not your client, otherwise I'd have fired you for rudeness.' Ryan narrowed his eyes, as they bored into Graham.

Graham sighed; this was water off a duck's back. He shook his head. ‘I wouldn't want you as a client anyway.'

‘Why not?' Ryan asked with something approaching anxiety in his tone.

Because you already look well put together, handsome and very well dressed. Modern, up to date, yet not a fashion victim, following all the latest trends regardless of whether they suit you or not.‘You don't need my help.'

‘Thanks,' Ryan said, ‘I think.'

‘Oh, it's definitely a compliment. Hopefully it makes up for my earlier impertinence.' Graham smirked, giving Ryan the side-eye.

A look crossed Ryan's face that Graham couldn't quite read. Pleasure, surprise, embarrassment. He wasn't sure.

‘If,' Graham said, ‘while I'm working with Dave, I pick up anything, anything at all that I think you should know – what he says to your mum, how he treats her, anything about her paying for stuff, anything, I'll tell you immediately. But I'm confident I won't. Dave is kind, uncomplicated, and has positive intent towards your mum and their marriage. He is what he seems to be. Dave works on face value. However, people who have nefarious motives, can't hide who they really are, what they're after, all the time. There are always signs of emotional leakage they can't control.'

‘That sounds messy,' Ryan said.

‘It's when someone's body language, or jokes they make, tell you what they're really thinking.'

Ryan nodded. ‘So that's still a no to not working with Dave and Mum?'

‘I'm afraid I will continue working with them. But we'll carry on talking if I pick anything up.'

‘I really want her to look into a prenup. That big house, Dad gave it to her in the divorce, he got his pensions, or something. He's coming to the marriage with nothing: Dave.'

‘You know that's untrue. You said he had a house, or half a house and a place in Spain.'

Ryan shrugged. ‘Not a patch in comparison to Mum's house.'

‘It's not nothing, though is it?' Graham paused, then: ‘Next time you speak to her, or not the next time, when you get her alone, and you're just chatting, quietly suggest protecting her financial assets. You can do something to separate anything acquired before the marriage. Or specific things. Mention the house, how you love it and you and your sister, what's she called?'

‘Sophie.'

‘Right, you and Sophie love that house, family home and…you know. She'll understand that more than just charging in and going straight to prenup, talking about money.'

Ryan sighed. ‘You kinda know your stuff, don't you?'

‘I know people. And relationships. And basically, anything boils down to those two things. Most things. My work does anyway.' Money too, played a part, but Graham reckoned Ryan understood that well.

‘Right.'

Graham shook Ryan's hand. ‘Agreed.' A solid, business decision, agreed with a handshake. Good, Graham knew where he stood with this relationship now.

They finished their coffees in the café then went their separate ways.

On his way home, Graham understood a bit more about why Ryan was so protective. It was because he genuinely loved his mum. Thought he had her best interests at heart. He was, at heart, kind, when he wanted to be. This was obvious by how he was caring for his dad, and wanting to look after his mum, save her from being taken as a mug by anyone.

Remembering what Ryan had said about his dad, and his relationship with Matt, Graham wondered if his own mum had come out as lesbian, and married a woman, how would he feel?

He hoped he'd be happy, would welcome whichever imaginary person his mum wanted in her life in this imaginary scenario. Really, Graham just wished his mum had been more like Ryan's mum. So, he could have worried about her marrying a kind man, rather than her being cut off for not paying her gas and electricity bills. Or having complaints from neighbours about a smell coming from her flat, only to find she had been living with blocked drains for months, swilling the water out the window rather than having it fixed.

The shard of those memories pierced his heart. Even years later, he still remembered those phone calls, those trips to his mum's flat. He would probably remember it all for the rest of his life. Ryan didn't really know how lucky he was to have a mum like Julia, and to have the concerns he had for her.

Sometimes Graham wished he'd had a different mum, but it wasn't that simple. He loved her. Despite everything she'd done, and everything she hadn't done, over the years. He was from her, and so was Sam. They'd been part of her. He definitely loved his mum, but it didn't mean he liked her very much on some occasions.

He was home now, alone, and the sadness threatened to swallow him. After a day of putting a brave face on things, giving the client, and Ryan the impression he was confident, in charge, and had everything sorted, he relaxed. Let go. The sadness of his childhood, of the difficult last six months of his mum's life, when he thought he couldn't cope with anything she threw at him, of the debt he was repaying for her from the grave, all swirled around and left Graham almost breathless.

He texted Claire: Why is life so shit?

Claire: want to talk?

Graham: no, just feeling sorry for myself :(

Claire: That's allowed. Why?

Graham: did you ever wish you had different parents?

Claire: sometimes. Why?

Graham: I feel jealous of someone else's mum. Does that make me a terrible person?

Claire: it makes you human. Fancy coming round my place?

He was too tired and didn't feel he'd be good company.

Graham:not tonight, but thanks xxx

Claire: xxx

He lay down on the sofa, in a ball, on his side, and let it all out in a silent, gasping for breath, cry, as tears rolled down his cheek and he wondered if he'd ever find someone who he'd allow to see this side of himself. If he'd one day, find someone who would look after him, rather than Graham always being the one doing the looking after.

Fat chance of that.