Chapter 18

W hy must I destroy everything that I touch?

Aaron shut his eyes in anger, cursing himself as the carriage neared his country mansion. He had been happy to hear that Marina was pregnant, thrilled in fact, yet the faces of all the guests judging him had suddenly come to mind.

What kind of life would she have if she stayed at his side? What was worse, he could not even begin to fathom the scorn that their child would face. The heir of a monster would be labeled for life.

No.

Marina and his child would be far better off living a life that was separate from him.

The carriage came to a stop in front of the silent mansion, bringing Aaron back to the reason why everything had taken such a drastic turn.

Shoving open the carriage door, Aaron jumped out before the footman could even reach him.

"Where is he?" he demanded angrily, pushing past the startled servants who had gone white in the face.

Without waiting for a reply, he stormed up the steps, taking them two at a time before bursting through the front doors.

"Adam! Where the hell are you? Show your face this instant, you coward!" He saw red as he stormed through the house, glaring into empty rooms before reaching the parlor.

Adam jumped to his feet, looking at Aaron with a strange look as the scandal sheet dangled from his hand.

"Bloody bastard!" The bird greeted him with a loud squawk.

"You shut that bloody bird up before I have both of you thrown onto the street!" He yelled angrily, glaring at the bird before rounding on Adam, who suddenly jumped behind an armchair, clutching the back until his knuckles turned white.

"Bloody bastard!" The parrot squawked louder and attacked his dish of food before furiously bobbing his head up and down with his wings splayed.

Adam cleared his throat, speaking in a reasonable tone. "I know it seems like a good idea to shout at the bird, but it will only make matters worse."

Aaron laughed incredulously, feeling as if he could fling his brother through the open window. "Have you suddenly become a bird whisperer? As if you could understand the stupid creature."

Adam raised his head high, lifting his chin with an air of pride. "As a matter of fact, I have been spending a great deal of time with the bird. He only seems to pick up on cussing, so I would watch my mouth if I were you." He sniffed importantly.

"What utter bollocks!" Aaron rolled his eyes, feeling his anger sore at his brother's audacity.

"Bollocks, shit!" Henry repeated on cue.

"I tried to warn you." Adam rushed forward and placed an old blanket over the cage, silencing the bird who flapped his wings. "I have been trying to get him to say anything other than the vulgarity that he spews, but the bird has an ear for it."

"Much like the man protecting him." Aaron narrowed his eyes, spotting the scandal sheet that was still in his brother's hand.

Ensuring that the blanket was in place, Adam noted Aaron's gaze and looked from the sheet to his brother. "Now, I know what this looks like. Let me just begin by saying that I was as shocked as you must have been."

Aaron laughed derisively now. "Do you expect me to believe that it was not you when your name is so clearly mentioned?" He advanced on Adam, making his brother sprint to the other side of the room with all of the furniture between them.

"As a matter of fact, I do expect you to believe me. Out of everything that I have done, have I ever publicly ridiculed you? I want to prove I am better than you, how does this meet those ends?" He eyed the door nervously, looking as if he were about to bolt at a moment's notice.

Aaron's anger was quickly replaced by disbelief as he looked at his brother. "When will you stop playing these games, Adam? Life is not one big contest that you can win. Have you looked around lately? Father is dead, who are you trying to impress now that he is not here?" He shook his head in disgust.

"You do not understand, Aaron. You never did!" Adam tried to run out of the room but Aaron blocked his path.

"I do not care to understand anymore. Just stay and fight me like a man, you coward!"

"Aaron, stop it. I do not want to fight you."

"Then tell me! Tell me once and for all. What are you trying to prove? Who are you trying to impress?"

"You!" Adam's voice was almost childlike as he turned red in the face.

For the second time that evening, Aaron felt as if he had been doused with a bucket of icy water. "What do you mean?"

"It has always been you, Aaron, I never really cared for Father. He was an utter bastard! Why would I want to impress him?"

"Bastard, bastard!" The bird squawked from beneath his blanket.

Adam looked at the cage with a sigh and shook his head, lowering his voice. "I have never sought our father's approval; it is yours that matters to me. As a child, I wanted to be just like you, and I tried very hard, despite our father pitting us against one another."

Running his tongue over his lips, Aaron waited for his brother to continue. In all their years of rivalry, he had never seen Adam speak so openly.

Shaking his head, Adam walked around the settee and slumped into the cushions, allowing the scandal sheet to drift to the floor at his feet. "I know that you took the beatings for me. I tried to grow stronger so that I would be able to ‘let' you win and take the beatings, but you always seemed to know how to lose." He let out a snort of derision and shook his head. "Isn't it funny that the two of us had to compete to be the better loser?"

Aaron came forward and took the seat opposite his brother, sinking into the cushions with the same tired demeanor. It seemed surreal to him that his brother had known all along and had never uttered a word.

"Do not look so shocked, I am not an idiot. You are five years my senior and I kept on winning as a child. For a while, I resented you for allowing me to win, but when I was old enough, I came to realize the sacrifices you were making. Those sacrifices alone made you stronger than me in every possible way."

"But why did you never say anything if you knew?" Aaron finally spoke up.

"How could I when you have been hellbent on pushing the world away for the past how many years? At first, it was pride that kept me from speaking to you, but after the battle…" His words trailed off as his eyes wandered over the scar on Aaron's face.

Lifting his hand, Aaron ran the tips of his fingers over the knotted ropes.

"I wanted to speak to you after the battle, but you had become cold after being humiliated and rejected." His words were filled with understanding as if he had been waiting for a decade to broach the subject. "You were never the same again, Aaron. The only way I could get you to look at me was challenging you like Father used to do to us. Do you think he would have been proud of the legacy he has left behind? Two strapping young sons that have the emotional intelligence of wet blankets."

The corner of his mouth hooked into a faint smile, despite the seriousness of the conversation. "Do not call me strapping, I find it very disturbing." Aaron lowered his hand and met his brother's gaze.

Allowing his lips to crack into a smile, Adam threw his head back and laughed, shaking his head when he eventually caught his breath. "What are we doing, Aaron? I do not know about you, but I am tired of this bitterness and resentment between us. Can we not just call it a day and be friends?"

A moment of silence ensued between them as Aaron considered his words. It seemed almost too easy to have a lifelong feud come to an end in a matter of minutes, but was not that what Marina had been encouraging him to do?

The sudden thought made his chest clench as he recalled the hurt look in her eyes.

I hurt her.

He swallowed hard as he reminded himself that pushing her away was the best thing that he could have done for her. A woman as beautiful as Marina did not deserve to be associated with a monster like him.

Adam spoke up again, drawing Aaron from his thoughts. "I know there is a lot that I need to ask your forgiveness for, Aaron, but please believe me when I say that it was not me who placed the article in the scandal sheet. Have you ever known the gossipmongers to provide a source?"

Something suddenly clicked at the back of Aaron's mind as he chewed over his brother's words. It was highly unusual for a gossip sheet to provide a source. The piece had been presented in the sheet in the form of an article rather than a tantalizing tidbit.

"Whoever had given the information to the printers, had done so with the intention of creating division between us. Why anyone would want to further the feud, I do not know." Adam shook his head in disbelief before standing and walking across the room where he poured them each a stiff drink from the cart in the corner of the room.

"I think I know who could have done it." Aaron accepted the drink, taking a large gulp and allowing the amber liquid to burn the back of his throat.

Following suit, Adam sipped his glass and returned to his seat.

"What do you know of the Baron of Wallace?" Aaron leaned forward, recalling the afternoon tea when the baron had paid him a visit.

"Not much, he is a bit of a greedy cad, but he is known as a smarmy letch. Most of the clubs in London will not allow the man into their establishments." He sat back on the settee and seemed to relax now that the whisky was beginning to take effect.

"He asked me for money, and I declined his request. I think that may have left a rather bad taste in his crow." Aaron wondered what the man was capable of if this was his reaction to a simple no.

His chest clenched when he thought of the way Marina had stood up for him, defending his name in front of the entire ton. If the baron's plan had been to humiliate them both, then he had failed on the account of Marina.

Why did she stand up for me like that?

His brow suddenly creased as he swirled the last few drops of whisky in the bottom of his glass, watching the vortex as if it could give him an answer.

It felt almost impossible to him that someone as fine and beautiful as his wife could have fallen in love with him. Pushing the thought aside and reminding himself that she could not possibly love him, he threw back the last drops of whisky and placed the glass beside him.

"So now what, if we can prove that it was the Baron of Wallace, do we go after him and make him apologize?" Adam asked thoughtfully.

Aaron shook his head with a heavy sigh. "No, we leave things as they are. Marina is with child and has gone back to her mother. Things worked out as they should, even if the baron had meant to publicly scorn me. Marina and the child are better off with a life far away from me."

Adam's brow now creased into a frown as he licked over his lips. "But wouldn't you want the child to grow up with its father?"

"I may not be a monster like our father was, but I am one in appearance. It is far more loving for a father to take a step back and allow his child to thrive, than let them grow up under the shadow of cruelty." His chest felt hollow as he said the words, making him wish that things could have been different.

The moment dragged on between them as the men sat in silence, each realizing the gravity of the legacy their father had left them. They may have managed to build a bridge between them, but that did not mean that their father had not left them with invisible scars.

"Whore!"

Both men jumped when Henry VIII suddenly screeched from his cage.

"I am sorry Aaron, but the bird has a mind of its own. I spent all bloody morning trying to teach it how to say ‘pretty bird' and ‘hello'. The bloody bastard never uttered so much as a word until he overheard me teasing one of your footmen about a brothel. I swear he is doing it on purpose. The bird is malicious."

"Bloody brothel!" Henry announced quite gleefully.

"You see! He is entirely out of control!" Adam gestured toward the closed cage in exasperation.

Shaking his head, Aaron shut his eyes. "He may as well stay where he is, it is not like we will be expecting much company now that Marina is not here."

Adam's face fell as the look of exasperation faded from his eyes. "You know I never meant to hurt her, or you, Aaron. Marina is a good woman, I left her at the altar because… let's just say that you are a far worthier man than I am." His voice trailed off on a sad note.

Looking at his younger brother, Aaron felt as if he were seeing him for the very first time. "Why did you decide to jilt her at the altar? There were more reasonable ways to call off the wedding."

Placing his hands on the armrests of the chair, Adam pushed himself up while avoiding his brother's gaze. "That is nothing that you need to concern yourself with. My reasons were my own and I stick by them, no matter how selfish they may have been." He lingered for a second as if he wanted to say something but shook his head instead.

"I will say this, Aaron. Marina is good for you. I have seen a change in you since she came into your life. Do not let her slip through your fingers, no matter how noble you think you are being."