Chapter 29

29

SARAH

I felt utterly drained as tears streamed down my face. Dean drove us to the hotel in silence, allowing me the space to cry without saying a word. It was comforting to have him there.

When we arrived at the hotel, Dean gently instructed me to wait in the car while he checked us in and got a room. I nodded quietly, wiping my tears with the back of my hand as he disappeared into the hotel's lobby.

I was spent. Exhausted. I knew I probably just blew my whole career. My friend was seriously injured. I had no idea if Kylee was going to speak to me again. I needed to talk to her, but I wasn't sure if she was even my friend anymore. That whole situation blew up far more than I thought possible. Lord knew I had been involved in my fair share of skirmishes but never anything like what happened tonight. I was still reeling. I could not believe it.

Dean returned a few minutes later. "Let's go," he said. "Can you walk?"

I nodded. "Yes."

He put an arm around my waist and guided me inside. The hotel was decent, nothing extravagant, but it felt safe and warm compared to the night I had just been through. Dean fetched me a bottle of water from the mini fridge and sat down beside me.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"I don't know," I muttered.

"I'm guessing you haven't eaten a solid meal in a few days," he said.

I shook my head. "Not so much."

"Sit tight," he said. "I'm going to order some food and then we're going to talk about what happened."

I went into the bathroom and cringed when I saw my reflection. I looked awful. My eyes were puffy and raw. My nose was red as Rudolph's. My hair was a tangled bird's nest. It was hard to tell what was from tonight and from the long week trying to survive in the elements.

When I returned to the room, Dean was just hanging up his phone.

"Let me see your hand," he said. "You know you need your hands to fly."

"I know."

He went to the bathroom and returned with a wet washcloth. I sat quietly as Dean tended to my injuries with a gentle touch.

"Nothing is broken," I said.

"Can you tell me what happened now?" he asked softly.

I nodded, taking a deep breath to steady myself. I needed to talk about it. "We had just gotten back to our room when we heard a commotion," I started. "At first, I thought it was just some guys goofing off. Then it got serious. I popped my head out and saw what I thought was a fight. I walked into the room and spotted some guys waterboarding Hoffman. I attempted to intervene. It worked. At first. Then it got ugly."

"How so?" he asked.

The flashbacks to the scene sent a shiver down spine. "They grabbed me and were going to give me the same waterboarding treatment."

"What the fuck?" he hissed.

"Rolley stepped in to protect me and was rewarded with them all jumping on him. I did what I could to pull them off, but tonight showed me just how small I am. I've gone through life thinking I was invincible. My stupidity nearly got Rolley killed."

"Rolley was protecting his friend," he said.

"It was my fault," I whispered, my voice breaking. "I'm always running into trouble and bringing people down with me. Rolley was exhausted. He wanted no part of their nonsense, but when I went to the room, he followed because he's a good man."

Dean shook his head gently. "From where I'm sitting, it sounds like you didn't run into trouble this time. You ran in to help. That's exactly the kind of quality the Air Force needs."

I nodded, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

"I'm going to need the names of the airmen who were involved in this," Dean said firmly.

I sighed. "I have them all. I gave them to the officers that broke up the fight."

"Are they from our base?"

"No." I shook my head.

"Bummer," he muttered. "I would love to have a chance to show them how real men behave."

His fists were clenched and his jaw was rigid. There was a fierce fire in his eyes but also a deep compassion. I didn't realize until that moment how much Dean cared. It wasn't just about what had happened tonight. It was about me. I felt a lump forming in my throat as I met his gaze.

"They weren't good guys," I whispered, trying to keep my voice steady.

"You don't say," he muttered sarcastically.

"Dean," I started, then paused. I took another sip of water, trying to find the words. "I wanted to help Hoffman so badly. But I didn't realize?—"

"That you could get hurt too," he finished the sentence for me, his voice soft but steady.

"Yes," I admitted, feeling a shiver run down my spine at the memory. "I was so focused on helping him, I didn't consider the ramifications. I only saw a person in distress. And I can usually handle myself. But I was drained. Rolley was in rough shape as well. I don't know how those assholes were still standing after the week we had."

Dean was silent for a moment, studying me intently. "That's not a bad thing," he said finally. "But you need to remember that you're valuable too. You can't help others if you're injured or worse. That's part of your training."

"I know." I sighed, running a hand through my messy hair.

"There's bravery and then there's recklessness," he continued, his voice never wavering. "And knowing the difference between the two can be a matter of life and death. You have to take care of yourself too, you know."

I nodded, absorbing his words as he continued. "It's a tough thing, being strong enough to step in when you see injustice, but also strong enough to know when you're outmanned and need to call for backup. Doing the latter doesn't make you any less brave, it just shows that you are smart and strategic."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said.

"Did you at least mess one of them up?" Dean asked.

I managed a small smile. "Broke a couple fingers, kicked some balls, and possibly broke a nose," I replied.

Dean chuckled softly. "That's my girl."

Then, to my surprise, Dean leaned in and kissed me. It was soft and gentle, a stark contrast to the violence I had just endured. It was perhaps the worst fight I had ever been in, but also the first where I had stood my ground for moral reasons, not just because someone had insulted me.

I pulled back slightly, my eyes wide with surprise. "What was that for?" I whispered.

Dean met my gaze, his expression serious. "Your phone call scared the hell out of me," he admitted quietly. "I was tempted to borrow one of the jets and fly myself here. Do you know how hard it was to sit on a plane and not get to be the one in the cockpit?"

I leaned in and kissed him again, more passionately this time. My hands found his face, holding him close as the tension and adrenaline of the night melted away.

Dean kissed me back, his hands sliding around my waist, pulling me closer. For a moment, we were lost in each other. Everything that happened over the last week faded away. It was just him.

When we finally pulled apart, I rested my forehead against his, breathing heavily. "Thank you," I murmured.

Dean brushed a strand of hair away from my face, his thumb tracing my cheek. "Anytime, Sarah. I'm here for you."

"I know," I said with a soft smile. I felt safe with Dean, cared for in a way I hadn't realized I needed.

"Why don't you take a shower? The pizza will be here soon. We'll eat and then you need to get some sleep."

I nodded, feeling the exhaustion weighing me down. "Okay," I agreed.

Dean stood up, offering me his hand. "Come on."

He led me to the bathroom. I stripped and stepped under the hot spray.

As the water cascaded down my skin, the sting of the bruises and scrapes were momentarily soothed. I closed my eyes, letting the steam wash over me, cleansing not only the grime of the week but the fear that had gripped me.

With some of the grime washed off me, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. The scent of pizza beckoned to me.

Dean was waiting with two boxes of piping hot pizza on the table. He'd changed into a plain white T-shirt and track pants. The sight of him relaxed and at ease made me feel more grounded than ever. Dean gave me a long look before pulling his eyes away. It wasn't like he hadn't seen it before. Still, it felt nice to be admired by a man like him.

I settled down into the chair across from him. Dean silently lifted a slice and handed it over to me. Despite feeling drained, I couldn't help but smile at his gesture, and I took the pizza gratefully.

We ate in silence for a while, neither of us needing to fill the quiet with words. It was a comfortable silence, shared between two people who knew each other.

"This is so good." I sighed. "I was actually starving."

"I remember my first meal after SERE. I had a bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a huge slice of apple pie."

I laughed. "That's it?"

"Then I ordered a second round of each." He grinned.

"That sounds more like it."

"How has the week been going?" he asked.

"I think I was doing okay." I shrugged.

"Just okay?" he pushed.

I chewed my mouthful of pizza. "Better than okay. I was kicking ass."

He laughed. "That's what I thought."

Dean reached across the table, taking my hand in his. The rough calluses on his fingers felt comforting against my own worn and bruised skin. "I'm proud of you, Sarah," he said.

Heat flushed my cheeks. "Thank you, Dean."

"I've got your back," he added, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Speaking of having my back," I interjected with a slightly mischievous smile. "Can you rub my shoulders? I am one giant knot."

"Of course," Dean replied, rising from his seat. He moved behind me and began kneading the knots of tension out of my shoulders. I sighed in relief as his strong hands worked their magic.

"That feels amazing," I murmured, leaning into his touch.

"No massages out there in survival training?" he asked, his thumbs pressing into a particularly stubborn knot.

"You don't know the half of it." I grimaced. "Felt like a battle."

"I do know the half of it," Dean replied, his voice quiet and measured. "But you made it through. You're stronger for it."

He leaned down and kissed the side of my neck. I leaned my head to the side and let him feast on my clean flesh. His hands moved away from my shoulders and slid down my arms. He didn't have to say anything. Desire washed over me. After the first time, I really thought it would be the last, but now, I wasn't so sure.

I wanted him again.