Chapter 20

20

DEAN

S aturday fitness drills had become the highlight of my week, although I was never going to admit it to Sarah. Her friends had bailed after the first grueling session, but she kept coming back, more determined than ever. It was just the two of us now.

She was daring me to push her harder. She honestly thought she was going to beat me. I thought it was funny because I was certain I could make her puke eventually. I found myself looking forward to our time together, even if all I did was put her through hell. I loved seeing that fire in her eyes and that never-give-up look she had.

"Come on, Thomas," I barked as she struggled through her last set of burpees. "You're moving like a pregnant koala."

I was still new at being a hard-ass drill-sergeant type. Some of my insulting encouragement needed work. I hoped my stern tone was enough to get the point across.

Sarah shot me a look that was half defiance, half confusion, but she didn't slow down. If anything, she pushed herself harder. It was something I'd come to expect from her—this relentless drive to prove herself, to prove me wrong.

"Is that all you've got?" I taunted, knowing full well it wasn't. She was a glutton for punishment, thriving on the challenge. And every time I set the bar higher, she met it with a grin. "You're slower than a snail with a sprained ankle."

When she finally finished, she collapsed onto the ground, breathing hard.

"Not bad, Thomas."

She looked up at me, her face flushed with exertion, but there was a spark in her eyes that told me she wasn't done. "Not bad? Come on, Ryker, you know I can do better than that."

When we were together in an official capacity, she usually referred to me as Ryker. But I wouldn't forget that night two weeks ago when neither of us acted according to the code of conduct. That night, she called me Dean.

I shook my head, chuckling. "You're dangerous, you know that? You're going to hurt yourself one of these days."

She rolled her eyes, pushing herself up onto her elbows. "Not a chance. I know my limits."

"Do you?" I challenged, crossing my arms. "Because it seems like every time I think I've set the bar too high, you smash it and then some."

She got to her feet, brushing the dirt off her clothes. "Maybe you just need to set it higher."

Her words were a challenge. "Fine. Ten more sprints. Now."

She didn't hesitate, taking off down the track without a second thought. I watched her go, admiring her tenacity. There was something about her that drew me in, made me want to push her harder, see how far she could go. But it was more than that. I enjoyed our time together, even if it was just me hammering her into shape like a chunk of iron. It was probably some sick perversion I had. I loved seeing her sweat and her chest heave up and down while she struggled to catch her breath.

She pushed herself as hard as I did, and it was sexy as hell.

When she finished her sprints, she jogged back to me, winded less than I had expected. "Is that the best you can do?" she asked.

"You've never seen my best," I said.

She grinned, hands on her hips. "So show me."

I glanced at the clock, noting that we were almost out of time. "Take a water break."

She picked up her water bottle and flipped it open. I watched as she gulped it down, sweat glistening on her brow.

"You're doing well," I said, leaning against a nearby fence post. "I'm impressed, and I don't say that often."

She looked at me over the rim of her bottle, then lowered it, her eyes locking with mine. "I'm not working my ass off to impress you. I'm working to get through survival training at the top of my class. I'm going to be the best. I'm going to show my father I don't need a nanny."

I smirked, crossing my arms. "As your nanny, I wouldn't be surprised if that's exactly what happens. But I'm not going to tell you that. Don't want it to go to your head."

She laughed, a light sound that made something in my chest tighten. "Good to know you're holding back the compliments. Wouldn't want me thinking there's a heart beating in that cold robot chest of yours."

I chuckled and clapped my hands together, signaling the end of her break. "Alright, enough rest, says the nanny robot. Let's get back to it."

Sarah didn't move. Instead, she stood there, staring at me with a defiant look in her eyes. "What if I don't want to?"

I raised an eyebrow, intrigued by her boldness. "Are you testing me, Lieutenant Thomas?"

She took a step closer, her chin tilted up in challenge. "Maybe I am. What are you going to do about it?"

We were almost nose to nose now, the air between us crackling with tension. Her smile was daring, her eyes sparkling with mischief. All I could think about was kissing her. My hands itched to reach out, to pull her close, to feel her body pressed against mine. The attraction was electric and it was getting harder to resist. I was trying to convince myself that it wasn't really breaking any rules if she and I hooked up. It wasn't like she was going to run back to her dad and tell on me. What would it hurt if we satisfied the craving we both had?

"Careful, Sarah," I warned, my voice low. "You're playing a dangerous game."

She didn't back down. "I'm not afraid of danger."

I leaned in slightly, our faces inches apart. "You should be."

For a moment, neither of us moved. The world around us seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of us locked in this intense, heated moment. I could feel the warmth of her breath, see the rapid rise and fall of her chest. I knew she felt the same pull I did. I had flashbacks to the night I had my tongue halfway down her throat. She had tasted so good. It dominated my thoughts. She was like an addiction.

Just as I was about to close the gap between us, the sound of footsteps broke the spell. I turned to see Mo walking toward us, his expression unreadable.

"Dean, Sarah," he greeted, his voice even but carrying a weight of authority. "Everything alright here?"

I stepped back, putting some much-needed distance between Sarah and me. "Yeah, everything's fine. Just finishing up her water break."

Sarah quickly fell back into her role, her demeanor professional once more. "Yes, sir. Ready to get back to it."

Mo looked between us, suspicion flickering in his eyes, but he didn't press the matter. "Good. Keep up the good work, Sarah."

"What are you doing in town?" Sarah asked him.

"I'm meeting some old friends tonight, but I'd like to take you to dinner later. Catch up on how things are going."

Sarah nodded, though she didn't seem thrilled. "Sure, dinner sounds good."

"How is she doing?" Mo asked me.

Sarah looked at me, obviously wondering what I would tell her father.

I nodded, totally serious now. This mattered too much to Sarah to joke around. "She's been exceeding my expectations, sir. We're getting her ready for the most challenging parts of UPT."

"Will she be ready?"

Sarah flinched. I knew she hated that he was talking about her like she wasn't standing two feet away from him. It happened all the time in the military but it wasn't usually a father discussing his daughter.

"She's training harder than anyone else in the program." I shrugged. "We're out here making sure she's ready."

Mo nodded. "Good. I'll let you guys get back to it. Push hard, Sarah."

"Yes, sir."

With that, Mo gave us a final nod and headed off, leaving the two of us alone once again.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Sarah turned to me. I saw the flash of anger in her eyes. She was pissed. "You're such a kiss ass," she hissed.

I pointed at the ground, my expression hardening. "Give me a hundred push-ups."

Her jaw tightened, but she didn't move. "Seriously?"

I stepped closer, leaning in so our faces were inches apart once again. "Survival training is going to test every limit you have. I suggest you stop being a spoiled brat and start taking things seriously."

She glared at me but dropped to the ground, beginning her push-ups. I crouched down beside her, watching her form closely as she pumped up and down.

"Slower," I instructed, my voice firm.

"I hate you," she growled between breaths.

"Good," I replied. It was better she hated me than have a repeat of what happened at the bar. Her dad would strap me to a missile and shoot me at the sun.

She continued her push-ups, her movements slowing as she approached exhaustion. Despite the tension, I admired her tenacity. She pushed herself to the limit every time. Especially when she was angry. If it took her being pissed at me to get through survival training, then I was happy to piss her off. I seemed to be good at it.

When she finally finished, she collapsed onto the ground, breathing heavily. I stood up, offering her a hand, which she ignored.

"You think this is just some harmless drill?" she spat, sitting up and glaring at me. "You think you're doing Mo a favor by pushing me like this?"

I crossed my arms. "I'm doing what needs to be done. You want to succeed, don't you?"

She narrowed her eyes. "You know I do."

"Then stop fighting me and start listening. You have potential, Sarah. But you're not going to get anywhere with that attitude."

She huffed, getting to her feet. "I don't need your lectures."

I stepped closer, lowering my voice. "You do if you want to survive."

For a moment, we stood there in silence, the tension thick between us. Then she turned away, grabbing her water bottle and taking a long drink.

I watched her and wondered what the hell I was doing. This was getting more complicated by the day. Sarah was more than just a trainee to me, and that was dangerous. I needed to keep my distance, to keep things professional, but it was getting harder and harder.

"You think I'm not taking this seriously?" she asked suddenly, her back still turned to me.

I sighed. "I think you're letting your emotions get in the way. And that's going to be your downfall if you don't get a grip. You can't be emotional in a cockpit."

She turned back to me, her expression hard. "I'm not the one with the problem, Dean . Maybe you need to look in the mirror."

Her words stung, but I didn't let it show. "Enough. We're done for today."

She stared at me for a moment longer before nodding and walking away. I watched her go, knowing I needed to focus on being her mentor and helping her succeed, not dwell on the confusing feelings that kept bubbling up whenever we were together.

She glanced over her shoulder and shot me a dirty look. I stared right back at her. I needed her to hate me. That was the only way this worked. She couldn't afford to be distracted. If she was thinking about me, she was going to suffer.

It was only a matter of time before something had to give. For now, all I could do was keep pushing her, keep challenging her, and hope that she would come out the other side stronger and more prepared for what lay ahead.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. Survival training was just around the corner, and Sarah needed all the help she could get.

A thought snuck in. I had to quickly kick it from my head. If I could get her through the survival stuff, then the hardest part of her training was over. Maybe then we could hook up.

I walked back to my house, my mind whirring with worry and uncertainty. The next few weeks were pivotal. They would decide not just Sarah's fate in the program, but my own future. If she washed out, then Mo would let me off the hook. I could go to London. It was tempting, but I couldn't do that to Sarah. She was working too hard. I refused to sabotage her or wish for her failure.