Chapter 6 Cole

Tanner looks dumbstruck. Billy, too.

Paul Strong takes a silent sip of his wine.

I stare across the island at Nadine, waiting for her to say it's a joke before telling us the real reason we're here.

Burton lets out a small chuckle, then glances at Tamika, then Mr. Strong, then Billy and Tanner. When no one returns the laugh, he turns back to Nadine and mumbles, "Wait, really?"

"Here's how I see it," she goes on with a spread of her hands. "Cole Harding here will be the star of the show …"

"Star of the—?" I quickly set down my plate—though it feels more like I drop it—then lift my eyebrows. "I'm the what …?"

"… and I have at least one other single man I know who most certainly deserves a lovely lady in his life. Of course for you, Cole, we'd be on the hunt for a dashing young man."

My hands find hold of the counter in front of me. It's like I'm staring at my bloody arm all over again. Is the kitchen spinning or was my drink spiked? "I … uh … h-hold on …"

"Everyone looks confused! What's there to be confused about? Don't you see the dollar signs? Mayor Raymond in all his years did not do anything like this to raise money for our lovely town. This will be a fundraising event. Somethin' fun to get the whole town involved. How many more articles are you gonna write ‘bout me and my bein' mayor and whatever other borin' snooze-fest thing I've done lately? No one cares that I planted another tree in the park. What they wanna hear about is if Cole here is datin' someone or if Dean has found himself a lady since his dear wife passed. The stuff you actually hear people gossipin' about around town. Can we all see it now? Are we on the same page? Speakin' of pages, that's why I brought you guys in," she adds with a nod at the three here from the Spruce Press. "I want you guys to run stories on this. Really build this whole thing up."

"Okay, I can see this," murmurs Tamika to herself, inspired.

I peer at her, for a moment panicked by her enthusiasm.

"I want you to more than see it," says Nadine. "I want you to feel it. Look at the bigger picture I'm paintin'. We may even attract attention from singles all around us."

"You mean from neighboring towns?" asks Burton.

"Yes! Imagine if we drew in people from Brookfield, Fairview, maybe even as far as Houston or Austin or Dreamwood Isle. Who knows? Have I captured everyone yet? Y'all gotta think biiig!" Her voice squeals excitedly on the word "big" as her hands spread in the air, bangles jangling on her wrists. "Big, big, big. Like, Texas-big. Fundraisers. Auctioning off dates with the sexy men. Showin' off what we got to show off here in Spruce. Do I sound insane yet? Could we make national news, do you think? Amelia and Joe Pane have contacts all over the country. Lance has friends in LA."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," says her husband Paul with a chuckle. "But I sure do love this idea, dear. I think it's just what the town needs."

"Isn't it?" She lets out a happy sigh. "Love's in the air this year for everyone. I can just feel it to my bones."

"I think that's the dollar signs you're feelin'," states Tanner. Billy sucks in his lips and looks away.

"So can I count on y'all to make this dream of mine happen?" Nadine asks, ignoring her son—or maybe not hearing his remark at all. "The McPhersons and the Whitmans already know and want to help out, too. Cissy even said she could host somethin', one of the events, whatever we need. Y'all know she's got that big ol' pavilion we use for the Spruce Ball every summer. Are we already comin' up on the sixth annual this year? Anyway, if I can pry dear Cassie away from Lance for one dang sec, I'm sure she'll help, too."

"Shouldn't your lovely new assistant be here takin' notes?" asks Billy after popping an apple tart into his mouth.

"Oh, I gave Malcolm the weekend off. He and Samuel had a previous engagement out of town, and I wasn't about to call him in for this, I do have a conscience. I'll fill him in Monday morning. Cole, you don't mind takin' time off from the gym when you're needed, do you? Never mind, my son's your boss, I can make it happen. Don't sweat it."

As if I had a choice in the matter. I force on a smile. "I … of course, Nadine. I'm … I'm happy to do what's needed."

"All you need to do is be your charmin' self. We'll handle the rest, doll face."

I close my mouth. Along with my mouth go the rest of the words I can possibly say in this moment. Do I even have a say?

"We can run a feature on each of the bachelors," Tamika says suddenly, drawing everyone's attention. "But first, a photo shoot, quickly. A total thirst trap, get everyone's juices pumping. Once we've captured their attention, we'll run the features—interviews, upclose and personal, full of heart and charm, where we can get to know our ‘sexy southern bachelors' …"

"Oh, yes, yes, yes, you've got it," sings Nadine with a smack of her hand against the counter.

"We have to turn everyone on and steal their hearts," Tamika says, then nudges Noah. "This guy's a wizard with the camera."

"Of course he is!" chirps Nadine happily, setting her eyes on him. "Sweetheart, we've barely spoken since you came in. How are you holding up?"

I glance to my side. Noah, in all his adorable awkwardness, looks paralyzed by Nadine cranking the spotlight onto him, even for such an innocent question. Then again, is any question truly innocent when it comes to Mrs. Strong?

It was pure bliss when we were alone together in the living room. I would have loved to stay there with him all night, had circumstances allowed it. Standing by his side, watching the boys play games, or watching TV, or watching paint dry, it would have made no difference, as long as I was right next to him.

I felt him growing tense. I felt his anxiousness. I knew he was responding somehow to my presence. I was prepared to pull back or give him space, were my advances unwelcome.

But he didn't move away nor step aside the entire time. He let me stand right there, right next to him, as if actually wanting it.

Is it possible, even in a remote way, that Noah might actually return my feelings?

After five excruciating seconds of silence, which must feel like years for poor Noah, I quickly throw my arm over his back to save him. "I was just talking to him about it in the living room earlier. He's doing alright. Not a scratch on him, thankfully."

"Oh, bless your heart, look at you! You're like … You're like a big brother to him!" sings Nadine with hearts in her eyes. "Lookin' out for sweet little Noah like a guardian, like a big bro, like family, like blood, protectin' your little brother!"

Oh.

I cringe.

The last thing … that I want to be seen as … is a big brother.

Noah's big platonic brother. Noah's totally-not-a-romantic-option-for-him-at-all-in-any-way big ol' protective brother.

Sensing Noah turning into a block of stone under my touch, I drop my arm from his back at once. "I, uh … I'm just—"

"Y'know what?" sings Nadine with a gesture at the windows. "The air is just lovely outside tonight, isn't it? How ‘bout let's all go out onto the deck and keep this sexy brainstorming sesh going? We're cookin' ourselves up something really hot and spicy here. Hot and spicy genius. I can't wait to get this ball rollin'!"

Noah departs my side the moment the crowd of us starts to go toward the doors.

My heart pops like a balloon.

Deflating until there's nothing left.

To my dismay, the "brainstorming session" occupies over an hour and a half of the night. Laughter rings out over the nearby swimming pool and the dark grassy fields beyond as everyone contributes their ideas and opinions to the discussion. Noah had found himself a slightly isolated chair sandwiched between two potted ferns, and the only neighboring seat was quickly taken by Paul and his magic glass of wine that never seems to empty, so I ended up taking a chair by Burton and Tanner. The whole time we brainstorm, I sneak glances at Noah, curious what's on his mind, but unlike in the kitchen, I can't ever catch his eyes. In fact, he's determined to look anywhere but me.

Maybe I shouldn't have put my arm around his back.

Maybe he was happy standing in the living room watching the kids play that game, and I came and shattered his peace.

Is my crush so obvious that I'm making him uncomfortable?

Billy and Tanner are first to excuse themselves, rounding up their kids and getting ready to make the long trek down the path back to their house in the woods. Soon after, the rest of us call it a night and start gathering up to leave, too. While Paul cleans up the kitchen and Nadine discusses one last thing with Tamika and Burton, I spot Noah quietly slipping out the front to the cars.

For half a sec, I decide I'd better let him leave in peace, having done quite enough to suffocate him with my attention tonight.

The next second, I'm chasing him to the front of the house. "Hey there, Noah!"

He stops and turns, feet crunching in the gravel. "Something wrong?" he asks quietly back.

"Oh, uh, no. Not at all. I … I just wanted to say …" My hands find my pockets.

And then: nothing.

That's when I belatedly realize I should have figured out what I wanted to say before I opened my mouth. Now I'm standing here like an idiot.

"Well," I make myself say, "I mean … about tonight …"

"Oh. Don't worry, Tamika will contact you to schedule it."

I lift my eyebrows, confused. "Schedule what?"

"Your interview. She's great with them. You'll have fun."

That wasn't what I was about to say. Though, come to think of it, I didn't know what I was about to say. "So … Tamika is doing the interview? Why can't you do it?"

"Me? No. I'm not good with those. I'm better sticking with the photos, writing, and website code. I'll be at the shoot on Monday."

"But what if …" I take a step toward him. He appears to notice, as his whole body freezes up. "What if I wanted … you … to be the one who interviews me?"

He gazes down at my chest. "I—But I don't—I'm not the—"

"I'd have so much more fun being interviewed by you."

He stares at me, appearing at a loss for words.

I don't know why I said that. That's such a lie. My heart will be jumping out of my chest. I won't know what to do with my hands. My feet will be bouncing all over the damned place, and I will give the stupidest answers as I stare adoringly at Noah wishing I could just touch him. It would be nerve-wracking until the end.

Tamika and I, on the contrary, would have such a great time. We'd crack each other up and enjoy every second, then probably go out for burgers and fries afterwards.

But I can't help myself around Noah.

I can't resist an opportunity to spend more time around him—now that I've got him back in my life.

And this time, there aren't cafeterias and classrooms standing in between us. The only thing in our way is ourselves.

"I … I want you to be the one," I say, forcing the words out. "I want you to be the one who interviews me … Noah."

Here I go again, suffocating him with my attention.

Like some kind of lovesick parasite.

Do I even know how to practice restraint around him?

Then he says something. A single word.

And I miss it.

"What was that?" I ask, perking up. "D-Did you say—?"

"Yes," he chokes. He shifts his feet, appearing uncomfortable. Then he lifts his chin and repeats the glorious word: "Yes."

My heart skips. "Really? You'll do it?"

"Yes. I just need to … to reorganize myself a bit."

I watch him swallow down the panic and nervously adjust his glasses. He swiftly pulls out his phone and starts tapping it, skillful thumbs scattering across the screen with impressive speed.

Honestly, it's kind of amazing, watching his fingers move like that. I can see him busy at the keyboard, hard at work.

I imagine those fingers on my shoulders suddenly.

Then on my chest, with his eyes on mine.

Then those same fingers sliding down my body.

Every tap of his thumbs on that phone, I feel his fingertips on my skin, like the fantasy is made more real with every soft sound he makes. I bite my lip with frustration, watching, listening, and feeling every tappity-tappin' bit of it.

Seriously, can I fucking restrain myself for one second?

"Is tomorrow okay?" he asks suddenly, speaking without once looking up from his phone.

I blink. "Oh. We'd do it so soon?"

"Burton still wanted to run the story about you saving my life, so I can ask some questions about that, too, and maybe better flesh out the piece I wrote earlier this afternoon."

"Wow, you already wrote a piece about today?"

"I'm kind of like a machine," admits Noah. "To a … fault," he quietly adds to himself, still thumbing through his phone.

I stare at him in a silent daze, wondering how else he might be like a machine.

I feel his fingers curling tightly on my shirt, tugging on me, pulling me close to his body, reeling me in like meat. His eyes dig into me with the amount of machine focus he gives his tasks. He proves to me with every stroke of his fingers that he is not the shy boy he seems on the outside.

Something deep in him stirs, just like it stirs inside me.

There has to be a reason he let me stand so close to him in that living room. A reason he's turning his schedule inside-out to interview me. A reason he's not yet brave enough to say.

"Can we do the morning tomorrow?" he asks. "If you plan to go to service, then we could do the afternoon. Otherwise I think the morning is the best. My mom and I used to go to church," he volunteers suddenly, eyes pulled momentarily from his phone for a thought. "Don't know why we stopped. Anyway, if we interview in the morning, I can use the afternoon to write. That'll reduce the likelihood of working into the night. Plus I could prepare for the shoot Monday morning … if it's still happening Monday. I can't recall what Burton and Nadine decided. They kept going back and forth." He sighs. "Should've taken more notes. Also …"

My eyes become lost to the dance of his cute lips.

His precious, incorrigibly kissable lips.

I just adore the way they move whenever he speaks. It's the same as it's always been, how his adorable, heart-shaped lips hang parted between his thoughts. His forehead does this cute thing where it wrinkles up and twists when he seems to be searching for a word. Now and then while he's talking, his right eyebrow will flick upward a little all on its own, too, and it makes him look so doe-eyed and precious to me.

"Cole?"

He's staring. I think I might've missed something. "Y-Yes?"

"You're okay with that? Doing the interview at your house?"

Okay, I definitely missed something. "Uh, yes … sure. Is that what's better for you?"

"If I'm taking photos, then yes, it will be more interesting for the readers if I capture you in your home environment. I guess that settles it." He gives his phone one final tap before pocketing it. "Tomorrow morning at ten."

"Tomorrow at ten," I agree absently, lost in his eyes, happy.

Noah nods, then turns to head off.

Suddenly, I can't stand it. "Wait! Noah?"

He stops and peers back at me. "Yes?"

And again, I find myself prematurely demanding his attention without knowing what in the hell I want to say to him.

What is it exactly that I want to communicate?

That he's been on my mind for years?

That my entire high school existence was fueled by my secret desire to protect him from afar?

That I think he's the most adorable, intriguing, and sweetest person in all of Texas?

Instead of any of that, the front door flies open and Burton's voice booms from the front porch. "Hey, Noah! You ready to head back? I gotta drop some massive kids off at the pool and there was no way I was about to blow up Nadine's toilet."

Noah visibly suppresses a cringe. "Y-Yes, I'm ready."

"Can't promise I won't let out a few silent-but-deadlies on the way. We gotta go, though, before I go. Hey there, Cole," he says as he passes by, slapping me on the back along the way.

Noah meets my eyes for half a second. "I will see you in the morning … big bro."

Big bro.

He seriously just called me "big bro".

I really hate Nadine suddenly.

"Just kidding," he says flatly.

I wasn't sure until this moment whether Noah was capable of humor at all. He's always so serious all the time.

Now that I've seen it, I think my heart just exploded.

"Oh … of course! Kidding! Ha!" I let out a laugh. It comes out way too stiff and unnatural. I immediately try a different kind of laugh. It's even worse. What am I doing? "I'll see you tomorrow, little bro!" Now I'm breathing even more life into the bro thing? Stop talking, Cole, just stop. "I mean, um … I'll see you tomorrow, N-Noah. I hope."

That's the last thing he hears before heading off with Burton. I just stand there on the gravel like a lost garden gnome. Tamika is next to pass me by, offering a little wave and a, "See you around, Mr. Man-of-the-Hour!" before slipping into her own car. I listen to the vehicles as engines ignite.

I think my own engine just died.

I'm becoming entirely too skilled at humiliating myself lately.

I hear heels clack down the steps of the porch behind me. "I promise I won't mess it up this time," comes Nadine's voice as she joins me on the gravel.

I'm still staring at the car Noah's in. "Mess up …?"

"Y'know how guilty I felt after that whole Christmas fiasco? I just can't forgive myself for settin' you up with Malcolm the way I did, pushin' you two together like that. Someday, I'm gonna learn my lesson to quit playin' matchmaker. It obviously isn't my thing. But you know what, Cole?" She pats me on the back and offers a wink. "Everything happens for a reason. And now, I'm doing the opposite of playin' matchmaker. I'm letting the town play the role of matchmaker itself! And once this event gets underway, you'll have more options in love than you can count."

I watch Burton's car pull out, but from this angle, I can't see Noah in the passenger seat. I gnaw on my lip as I watch them go, shrinking down the long, winding driveway into the darkness.

Did I just miss a chance to drive Noah home? I could've saved him a long and tortuous car ride back to town with fart-machine Burton.

"Oh, do you have the jitters, Cole? Is that the problem? Don't worry," Nadine carries on. "Everyone will fall in love with you. This is a good thing! I know you were the hero at the festival today, but see this as your chance to be the hero for the whole town. Can you do that for me?"

I can't see the car anymore. I don't know about saving Spruce in any way. From my perspective, the town isn't in peril. The only one whose hero I want to be right now is Noah's. The only person whose attention I care to earn is his.

And as usual, he's too adorably clueless to even notice.

If I really want to get Noah's attention, I'm going to have to do something bigger, something direct … something he can't ignore.