EIGHT

Elizabeth gazed at her image in the mirror. She had chosen her best dress and arranged her hair with much care, her heart beating irregularly.

Jane — newly engaged — was the centre of attention, and she was exceedingly happy for her sister. However, she also felt a deep anxiety and distraction she could not explain.

In a very short amount of time, her feelings had suffered a confusing and astonishing change in regard to Mr Darcy. On the day of the accident with Lady Matlock, she was certain that Mr Bingley had left Jane due to the evil intervention of his sisters and Mr Darcy. She now had doubts that Mr Darcy was a cruel, arrogant man with no consideration for other's feelings, who had ruined Mr Wickham's life out of selfish jealousy.

One by one, all of the charges against him had fallen away. Mr Darcy had proved to be the one who helped Mr Bingley reunite with Jane, then he had described what had really happened with Mr Wickham. And all that time, he had shown nothing but amiability and friendliness to her relatives — and to her.

What troubled her exceedingly was the sensation that he treated her with special regard, for which she had no proof, just feelings. There were no words, no gestures to justify her imaginings; even more dangerous was the fact that she enjoyed those thoughts, that she found his company pleasant and was eager to see him again. Every time she saw him, her heart raced, and she feared she was suffering an infatuation that made her blind to reality. The notion that Mr Darcy might have feelings for her was absurd, of course. He was likely being amiable due to his friend's situation and probably because his sister and aunt seemed to like Mrs Gardiner. Her wisdom advised her not to assume something that never could be, but the voice of wisdom was not always easy to follow.

"Lizzy, my dear, there is something that has troubled me for a while," Mrs Gardiner said when they were ready to depart. "I cannot understand it, and neither can your uncle. Why is Mr Darcy so particularly attentive to us? Why has he called several times, had dinner with us twice, one on a special evening, and — even more shockingly — invited us to dinner at his home?"

"It is a little strange," Elizabeth admitted, feeling her cheeks burning.

"I noticed your opinion of him has improved lately."

"It has. All the reasons that led me to believe so ill of him are gone now. We are trying to be friends, especially now, after Jane's engagement to Mr Bingley."

"But still, his attention is far beyond a mere acquaintance, especially since he has not been friendly to your family before."

"True…"

"I confess I have a suspicion that I hope to clarify tonight."

"A suspicion?"

"Yes," Mrs Gardiner said after a brief hesitation. "Lizzy, do you know or suspect any reason for Mr Darcy's behaviour towards us?"

"I do not… I have asked myself too…but have found nothing plausible to explain his change of manners, except for our recent encounter with Miss Darcy and Lady Matlock."

"What about something implausible?" Mrs Gardiner asked, scrutinising her.

"Nothing worthy of being discussed. May I ask about your suspicions?"

"Well, my dear, usually a gentleman who is single and in possession of a fortune only shows such attention when he admires a lady and wishes to gain her good opinion. In our case, however, Jane is engaged to his friend, and we were told he had such a poor opinion of you as you have of him. You certainly understand my puzzlement."

"It is puzzling."

"So, either he is secretly in love with Jane — which, from my observation, is as likely as he is in love with me — or the subject of his interest is you, and we have been misled in everything we previously believed about him."

Elizabeth's face coloured, and she bit her lip, trying to form a reply.

"I honestly cannot offer an answer to your puzzlement, Aunt."

"Very well. However, please indulge me with a response. If you are the object of Mr Darcy's interest and he is trying to gain your attention, what would your opinion be?"

Elizabeth breathed deeply.

"My opinion is that, since I have come to know him better, Mr Darcy is one of the best gentlemen one could find. He is also exceedingly rich, with an excellent situation in life, with responsibilities and expectations placed upon him, who would never consider a wife outside his circle. That is why, regardless of what interest he might have, I shall not allow myself hopes that can only hurt and disappoint."

"Oh…I see… Well, my dear, I do not know how to reply to that. I am sorry for ruining your disposition. I was selfish to introduce a subject that distressed you."

"Do not worry, Aunt. All your questions I have already asked myself over the last few days," Elizabeth said, attempting a smile.

During the entire ride through London, Elizabeth was thoughtful and silent. When they finally entered Darcy's house, she was exceedingly disturbed. Her distraction increased when they were met by the master and Mr Bingley — who immediately stepped to his betrothed's side. Mr Darcy offered Elizabeth his arm, which she took with surprise and emotion. She entered the house, looking around but barely seeing anything, too distracted by Mr Darcy's presence. She had never been so close to him, and his nearness was disquieting in a way she had never felt before in the presence of any other man.

Lord and Lady Matlock, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Mr Bingley were also present at dinner. Elizabeth knew too well that the invitation was a privilege that they could not have expected a fortnight ago. And again, the question of why persisted in her mind, yet all the explanations were frightening to admit.

Mrs Gardiner — as well as Lady Matlock — seemed to pay special attention to the situation. Surely Lady Matlock's curiosity was at least as great as Mrs Gardiner's. However, there was not much to observe.

Mr Darcy was a perfect host — amiable, considerate, entertaining the party with a friendly though restrained tone, in opposition to Mr Bingley's exuberance and the colonel's easy manners. No particular attention was shown to Elizabeth, except the fact that, again, Miss Darcy agreed to play and sing with her.

"Mr Bingley, now that you are engaged, what are your plans?" Lady Matlock enquired.

"My plans? I shall return to Hertfordshire probably in a week, to open Netherfield. And then it depends on Miss Bennet to choose a wedding day," he said with an adoring glance at Jane, who blushed.

"How lovely. And you, Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth? Will you stay in town long?"

"No. We shall return home three days after New Year," Jane said.

"Ah, so in a week also?"

"Yes."

"I shall escort Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth home," Bingley added.

"Of course you will," Lady Matlock said, smiling encouragingly at him. "Miss Bennet, next time you come to London, you will likely be Mrs Bingley. I insist on you visiting me again. With your aunt and sister, of course."

"After my sister becomes Mrs Bingley, we shall not be together as much as we used to be," Elizabeth replied with a smile of her own.

"Married or not, I shall always enjoy Miss Elizabeth's company," Bingley said. "I always did, even when we were barely acquainted and when Darcy always disagreed with her. It was quite entertaining to watch them arguing all the time. I believe they quarrelled even when they danced together at my ball."

Elizabeth felt her cheeks warming and cast a glance at Mr Darcy, who seemed uneasy.

"There were some disagreements, but not arguing or quarrelling, merely discussions over differing opinions. The occasion to carry on a serious debate with a woman willing to share and defend her opinion is very rare and quite refreshing."

"They sound like quarrels to me, and I wonder how many times Miss Elizabeth defeated you," the colonel interjected, laughing.

"Unfortunately, some of my disagreements with Mr Darcy were caused by my misjudgement of certain subjects. I am grateful and relieved that many of them have been resolved in the meanwhile."

"You and my nephew seem to have had a quite tumultuous relationship, Miss Elizabeth," Lady Matlock declared with a peculiar expression on her face.

"If we have, my share of the blame for it is certainly bigger," Mr Darcy said. "As Miss Elizabeth stated, I am relieved that we have reached a better understanding since."

The entire conversation was light, as appropriate for a dinner party, but Elizabeth did not miss the curious looks of her relatives — and his. Except for Jane and Mr Bingley, who only had eyes for each other.

After that particular conversation, there was some music provided by Georgiana and Elizabeth, then a little more conversation and drinks, and the party finally separated an hour before midnight.

Elizabeth left Darcy's house with the same tightness in her stomach as when she had arrived. She was ashamed to admit it, but she felt a sense of deep loss leaving his house, and as soon as the carriage began to move, she wondered when she would see him again.

She slept little and poorly, fighting tiredness and thinking of him.

The following morning, immediately after breakfast, an express arrived from Longbourn. Mrs Bennet was so exceedingly happy about Jane's engagement that her nerves troubled her, and she begged her daughters to return home as soon as possible so that they could prepare for the wedding together.

The only one truly worried was Jane; Elizabeth and the Gardiners imagined that Mrs Bennet only wished her daughters to be there to share in her elation. However, nobody could deny the request, so a note was sent urgently to Mr Bingley, who immediately agreed to change his plans and escort them back home. So the very next morning, on the 30th of December, Elizabeth, Jane, and Mr Bingley left London, without seeing Mr Darcy again.