Chapter 11

Tom and I shot up, so startled we didn’t even adjust our clothes, the pleasant haze of the alcohol gone in an instant. Our eyes went to the gaggle of teenagers, who’d been sitting in the circle at the center of the graveyard. But their circle dissolved as they scrambled in every direction, knocking over extinguished candles and trampling on discarded bits of their costumes in their haste.

And there, in the farthest corner, was the sexy cat, dangling by her knotted hair like a rag doll.

“Holy shit,” Tom stuttered, jumping to his feet and racing in the opposite direction.

It was her. The beast. She was on her animal hind legs, raising her up well above the heads of anyone else, human or spirit alike.

Her clawlike hand shook the sexy cat, and she thrashed wildly, kicking the empty air as if she couldn’t see her attacker.

“Help!” she screamed at her retreating friends.

I grappled for my cane and pushed myself to my feet, keeping my eyes on the creature as it surveyed the graveyard, looking for something. I was sure I knew its intended target.

I chanced a look away so I could check my surroundings, and I realized I had no idea where my friends had gone, much less the location of the through line. All the trees and gravestones looked the same. But I kept moving, hoping to find something familiar as my heartbeat increased.

A grunt echoed from the center of the cemetery. My head shot up as the beast dropped the sexy cat, who immediately took off running, thick black eyeliner bleeding down her face and mixing with the snot bubbles under her nose.

She was running right for me, seemingly unaware of my existence, until we nearly collided. Once she was close enough to see that I was there, she stumbled, screaming in fear and scrambling the other direction. I tried to hide, but it was too late. The screaming drew the creature’s gaze right to me.

Our eyes met across the top of the headstones, and the chase was on. I sprinted as fast as my broken leg could carry me, weaving through the stones in desperate search of something, anything familiar that could point me back toward the through line. My friends were nowhere to be found. I was completely alone.

The creature grunted with the effort of the pursuit, leaping over headstones and dodging trees. There was no way I could outrun her.

I collided with something, as if the night air had solidified in front of me, and I braced myself for my inevitable dismemberment. But a warm hand pushed me back. When I looked up, I found Professor Faun standing between the monster and me.

The creature lashed out an angry clawed hand at him, and I gasped in fear. But just as the creature nearly made contact, he went transparent, and the claws melted through empty air, surprising both of us. Looking down, I felt the heat of skin against my neck, and the rest of my body disappeared.

The creature roared in irritation, but under it, I heard Professor Faun’s soft urgent voice in my ear. “Quick.”

He didn’t remove his hand but dragged it around the back of my neck before tangling his fingers in the roots of my hair, using the leverage to pull me along with him toward the trees.

I was so stunned I wasn’t even sure which part of what was affecting me. The near brush with dismemberment? Turning transparent? The fact that his hand in my hair was making every inch of my flesh clench with goose bumps?

He dragged me along, clearly not in a patient enough mood to wait for my slower stride as I limped behind him.

Then he ducked into the throughline, pulling me to safety and blasting me with a wall of frozen air as we emerged back on campus.

He unceremoniously tossed me onto the grass before quickly locking the cage back up around the tree. I’d barely registered anything that had happened before I felt Arlie’s body collapse onto mine, tackling me in a tear-dampened bear hug.

“Oh my god, Agnes. I’m so sorry. Blair said Tom would get you out. He said it would be fine. I didn’t know, I swear.”

My head was swimming from both adrenaline and probably some leftover alcohol, so I didn’t even have time to react before she was lifted off me. Professor Faun had her by her blazer, throwing her so hard Blair had to catch her.

“All of you will go back to your rooms immediately. If I or the groundskeeper catch even the slightest whiff of you outside your dorms before Monday morning, we will personally escort you through the black door ourselves. Understood?”

They turned and booked it for their respective dorms.

But when I tried to follow, he said, “Not you. You’re coming with me.”

“Why?” I croaked, terrified I would be receiving the black-door treatment early.

Without responding, he grabbed me by the collar of my blazer and hauled me across the grass toward Corporeality Hall.

I was struggling to keep up so much I lost my grip on the cane, and it fell in the grass. But when I tried to say something about it, I was met with silence.

He hauled me all the way to his classroom, where he locked the door behind us. I was prepared for more screaming, but he released me and crossed the room to his desk chair, where he collapsed and began rubbing at his face.

“I could not have made myself any clearer,” he said, his voice unnervingly even.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, the words tremulous with leftover fear.

“Was there something I said that made you think I wasn’t being serious about not leaving campus?”

“I didn’t think it technically counted as leaving campus,” I said, knowing it was a weak answer.

His long steadying breath was so deep I could see his whole abdomen moving under his dress shirt. He was still in his work clothes, but they weren’t rumpled with sleep like they had been during my foot incident. Instead, he’d only unbuttoned the collar, revealing the ribbon that kept his head in place and a sliver of his chest.

“Explain your logic, then. I’m intrigued.”

It took most of my strength to pull my eyes away from that triangle of bare flesh and meet his eyes. “I don’t—”

“You used it as an excuse, and I expect you to back up your defense.”

I flinched, fighting the urge to hide behind my hands as I whispered, “They said it was safe.”

“Who? The reapers? You think they give a shit about you?”

It was oddly jarring to hear him swear, but I was too afraid to show any emotion outside of shame.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not,” he said, leaning back in his chair and massaging his temples until his fingertips started to go white. “If you really understood the kind of risk you just took, then you wouldn’t have done it.”

“I think I understand now.”

“Oh, you think? You’ve nearly been destroyed by a beast twice in less than two months, and it’s only just now sinking in?” He shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You know what? Come here.” He gestured to the chair at the edge of his desk.

“What?”

“Come sit. There’s something I need to explain to you.”

I hesitated. “Explain it to me from over here.”

“No. Sit.”

My walk over to the desk was painfully slow, as my foot had gotten dislodged from the running. But he waited, allowing the silence to gestate until it was nearly unbearable.

When I finally made it to the chair, I sat on the furthest edge and braced myself. He leaned in, making my heart speed up. “Everyone was doing you a kindness by not elaborating on the threat you’re truly facing. But clearly, you’re not just going to take our word for it, so allow me to enlighten you.”

Noticing I was curled into myself and struggling to look at his face, he paused. He grabbed the bottom rim of the chair and pulled it closer to him, the wooden legs screeching across the floor.

“Look at me,” he said. “I need to know that you’re fully grasping what I’m about to tell you.”

Meeting his demands was almost physically painful. His eyes were rock hard, so intense that it physically changed my body temperature on contact. While it was rare for him to focus on anything, expressiveness was not only unprecedented but downright frightening.

“Do you know what happens if something tears off a part of you and takes it away? Eats it? You want to know what will happen? You’ll never be able to leave. You can’t go through the door unless you’re whole. So, if any part of you gets lost forever, you will be trapped in purgatory for eternity. Can you guess what happens to those who get trapped here?” He paused like he wanted me to answer, but when I opened my mouth, he continued. “They end up like the thing that’s hunting you. Is that what you want?”

I shook my head, still too terrified to stop looking into his eyes. He was so close every word brushed my skin, raising gooseflesh that was so taut it hurt.

“It’s a worse fate than death, which you’ve narrowly escaped twice. How do you wager the results of a third round?”

“Not great.”

“That’s correct,” he said, voice still hard. “So, we’re clear. You’re not going to do stupid shit with people who don’t care about you while you’re being actively hunted, correct?”

I flinched as he cursed again, thrown by how unnatural it felt.

“Arlie cares about me,” I insisted, though I wasn’t even sure how much conviction I had on the subject.

“Then, you should have stayed with her and not gone gallivanting off with that idiot.”

I was surprised by the way he said gallivanting, as if the word tasted awful on his tongue.

“How long were you out there with us?”

“Does it matter?”

My eyes narrowed. “What did you see?”

I was surprised to see him blink suddenly, breaking eye contact for a moment. “I saw enough.”

“Oh,” I said, my face turning hot.

He cleared his throat. “Go back to your room.”

“You’re not going to tell Ephraim?” I asked, hoping he wasn’t telling me to go in a permanent sense.

But his face didn’t change.

“Return to your dorm.”

“Okay.” I leaned down to adjust my foot so I could make it down the stairs without my cane, but my hands trembled so hard I kept fumbling with the thin scraps of material.

With an irritated grunt, he lifted my leg, balancing my ankle on his knee while he curtly tightened the ribbons with expert speed. His fingers bit into my calf, but instead of pain, I felt an odd zing of excitement under the thick layer of fear.

“There,” he said when he was done, unceremoniously shoving my leg off him. “Get out of my sight.”

I didn’t need to be told twice, shooting to my feet and limping my way to the door.

“Where’s your cane?”

“I dropped it outside and didn’t exactly have time to pick it up.”

“Right, well, don’t lose it. Stacy will have both of our heads otherwise.”

Seeing his unfriendly expression, I decided not to ask why and hurried towards the exit.

When I got outside, I found the cane leaned up against the glass wall next to the door. Once I could walk at a decent pace, I didn’t slow down until I collapsed into my bed. The evening had been so horrible traitorous tears streaked down my cheeks as I stared up at the ceiling, my head still swimming.

A good portion of it was leftover fear, but getting scolded by Professor Faun had shaken me. Despite his cool demeanor, I’d never heard his voice breach the bounds of civility, even when he was irritated.

And, of course, his words, telling me that those people hadn’t cared about me stung. I did believe Arlie was telling the truth about assuming Tom would get me back safe. I couldn’t blame her for believing that the mortal world would be safe, since I’d thought the same. But being abandoned out there had made me feel more alone than I could ever have imagined.

There was the stomach-churning fact that, despite barely admitting to it, Professor Faun definitely saw me with Tom. Did he suspect he was the one on my mind? Surely not. But that also begs the question, why didn’t he stop us then? He’d been there before the monster appeared and could’ve dragged us back to purgatory with little fuss. But he’d waited.

I pulled my pillow over my face and let out a long, pained groan. I stayed like that for a while, sweating through my sweater as I tried to focus on deep breathing.

And then, somehow, I found myself dreaming. I couldn’t remember most of it when I woke up the next morning, covered in sweat, heart racing. But every other time I’d slept, it had been the equivalent of blinking out of reality for a few hours. A void of nothing. But this time, I could distinctly recall feeling panicked, like I was fighting someone.

Once I was awake, I was greeted by the familiar moaning and banging from the other side of the wall. But it was such a regular occurrence it felt unlikely that they were responsible for the nightmare.

To try and calm myself down, I went for a dip in the bath house to clean the sweat off my skin. It must have been early in the morning because it was the first time I’d ever found the place deserted.

When I returned, I was relieved to find that the moaning and banging had finally stopped. But I wasn’t happy about this for the usual reason. As far as I was aware, we shouldn’t have been able to dream. But I wanted to be sure, and since I couldn’t leave the dorm, I had to use the resources at hand.

I knocked on Lindy’s door, listening to the irritable rustling of clothes before it flew open.

“What?” she asked brusquely.

I hadn’t seen her since the party where she’d met Rigel. I got the sense that she’d gone there with a purpose and had succeeded, much to my chagrin.

“I need to talk to Rigel.”

She made a face. “Why?”

He appeared from behind her, pulling his sweater back over his head and kissing her cheek. “I’ll see you later, Lin.”

She glowered at him, slamming the door as he stepped into the hallway.

“Does this mean you’re not mad at me anymore?” he asked.

I crossed my arms. “No.”

“Oh,” his eyes went wide with excitement. “So, this really must be interesting.”

I looked down the hallway, worried someone might listen in and decide I was crazy.

If dreams were a symptom of something bad, I only felt comfortable confiding in Rigel, since he had the least regard for decency of anyone I knew.

“Something weird happened.”

He seemed to notice my nervous glancing and said, “You want to come with me to get a snack?”

“I, uh, can’t leave the dorm right now.”

“You don’t have to. There are snacks in the lounge.” He nodded toward the hall. “Though, I’m assuming your lockdown is contributing to whatever you might need to know from me.”

“Maybe.”

Walking slowly, he gave me enough time to keep up with his long-legged stride as we passed the baths. “Now I’m really intrigued.”

He ducked into a room, and I found a circle of old leather couches and chairs, a pool table, and a vending machine. Vintage arcade games that seemed to spark a sense of familiarity deep in my brain lined a wall, but I pushed it to the back of my mind.

“Rigel, what do you know about dreaming?” I asked, following him to the vending machine.

“Literal or metaphorical?”

“Literal.”

“Is that why you want to talk to me?” he asked, smirking. “You had a little nightmare?”

“I didn’t think it was possible to dream here. I’ve never heard of anyone else doing it.”

“If I confirm or deny this information, what do I get in return?”

“The satisfaction of helping someone in distress?”

“I’m being serious,” he said, perusing the snack options behind the glass.

Most snacks inside looked familiar but in a distant way, nothing like I’d encountered in purgatory.

“What do you want?”

“Are you desperate enough to help me look for the unreleased student histories yet?”

I snorted. “Not having any luck on your own?”

“Answer the question.”

“No, I’m not quite that desperate.”

“Then, tell me what got you sequestered to the Iudex dorm.”

“Me and some friends visited the mortal world when we weren’t supposed to.”

“Okay, and so did half the school.”

“Not you?”

He smirked. “I was busy.”

I rolled my eyes. “Are you two not bored yet?”

Making his selection, he pressed buttons and watched a metal coil push a packet of sour candies into the tray below. “That question probably reveals more about you than you’re comfortable with me knowing.”

The words sounded curiously less like a taunt and more like a genuine warning.

I cleared my throat. “Anyway, something happened. No one got hurt, but it was bad.”

As he leaned down to fish for the packet, my words caused him to look up, eyes wide with excitement.

“Do tell.”

“It’s not important.”

“Sure it is. Give me the juicy details.”

“The, uh, thing . . . that attacked me.” I used my cane to tap my bad leg. “It appeared. I don’t even really know how.”

He paused halfway through ripping the candy open and gaped at me. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah, I know, right?”

“What did you do?”

His excitement had me hesitant, and I tried to lessen the encounter, shrugging and rolling my eyes. “We just had to run back through the portal. Professor Faun caught us and everything, so he helped. But, yeah, nothing wild outside of that.”

“And you think this has caused your nightmares?”

“It stands to reason.”

He poured a couple of candies into his palm and tossed them back into his mouth. “Too bad you’re wrong.”

“Really?”

“Dreaming doesn’t really happen here. The closest thing I’ve read about is that, very rarely, sometimes the memories of our lives can sneak into our brains if our memories are jogged. But it’s highly inconsistent, almost to the point of being unprovable. So, your dreams probably don’t have anything to do with that, though it is an interesting coincidence.”

“Fantastic.” I sighed. “The horrible flashes of panic are left over from my mortal life.”

“Seems so,” he said, leaning against the wall, chewing. “That’s not even the worst part.”

“No?”

“There’s only one other person here I know who’s ever had anything resembling a dream.”

My shoulders fell. “Please, no.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to start helping me look for the unreleased histories?”

Unable to look at him any longer lest he see my disappointment too clearly, I shook my head. Instead, I turned my attention to the machine and selected something. But my hand passed right through the buttons.

“What the hell?” I asked, watching my arm disappear inside the machine.

“It’s a mortal machine, strictly for the upperclassmen, for obvious reasons.”

“Then, how can you use it?”

He rolled his eyes. “You really have to ask? I’m clearly better than everyone. It’s why you trust my judgement.”

“Whatever,” I said, turning to limp back to my room.

“See you around, Tits,” he called.

Back in my room, something called to me from my wardrobe, my hand involuntarily reaching for it. The toe tag was still tucked up under rolls of black cotton socks, taunting me. Part of me wished I’d burned it when I’d had the chance. But as it stood, I was afraid to even touch it.